I got dumped last night.

80  2017-12-25 by Hold_My_Brush22

I guess my present was one less bitch, amirite fellas??

Gonna go hang myself now.

115 comments

11  FrankieBianchi 2017-12-25

she's prob with a man with a bigger and girthier dick already or at least chatting with one

4  Applesauceinmypants 2017-12-25

Its christmas eve, she's getting spit roasted by her old boyfriends.

4  Hold_My_Brush22 2017-12-25

HA HA HA HOOLLYY SHIITTT!

Ex-fiance actually.

8  FrankieBianchi 2017-12-25

oh that totally sucks, that means you were just a rebound and she prob didnt even think it wasa real relationship. like a lowpoint in her life

3  Hold_My_Brush22 2017-12-25

Oh

5  TriangleDimes 2017-12-25

You know what would get her back, is if you cut off your own cock and balls and deliver it to her in a giftwrapped package.

4  hookahreed 2017-12-25

That was my favorite episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.

1  LetnigFeceOfBags 2017-12-25

That’s right! Step it up from Van Gogh that shiznits old 🧢. Give the future a tale to truly behold!

1  JessesManPanties 2017-12-25

No emojis here

1  LetnigFeceOfBags 2017-12-25

My bad.

1  JessesManPanties 2017-12-25

All is forgiven on our lord and savior’s day of birth. Peace be with you.

1  rottenseed 2017-12-25

They can have her problems too. They'll probably fetch her water when she's in bed or get something high up in a cabinet high out of her reach. It's not just sexual. That would be terrible if only you had to put up with the bullshit for little to no reward

4  Jungies 2017-12-25

Almost all men meet that description.

1  WearableHeadphones 2017-12-25

Like Vos.....

Who's at the Stand NYC the 26th and 30th

6  vichenleyssister 2017-12-25

civil war probably coming soon, you'll be able to get your revenge no problem

1  [deleted] 2017-12-25

[deleted]

5  JerseyLowLife 2017-12-25

shoot yourself. you get bonus points for traumatizing the people who find you. (i know from experience.)

5  Hold_My_Brush22 2017-12-25

Funny you say that, I'm starting a go-fund me for a pistol and one bullet.

5  JerseyLowLife 2017-12-25

go to florida. my buddy got his 9mm for $200. it did the trick.

5  WizardEric 2017-12-25

What kind of loser doesn’t have a gun and a bullet?

No wonder she dumped you.

4  Purplestahli 2017-12-25

What are the backer perks?

4  Hold_My_Brush22 2017-12-25

My lifeless corpse.

3  AppleFan79 2017-12-25

Let this be a lesson: be civil to slits and you will get burned.

EACH & EVERY TIME.

Nature has programmed into them the necessity to be dominated.

Cliché yes, but nevertheless unfortunately true.

Every hole is like this. Every. One.

1  LarryKleist711 2017-12-25

I laughed. I can't tell if you are being serious. Either way. You had an interesting friend.

1  deep_legal_shit 2017-12-25

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1wV3lmbSv4

1  sanfrancisco69er 2017-12-25

My current gf's ex-bf of a few years ago said he was going to kill himself and it would be her fault, after a big public court case where he went to jail for holding a gun to her in a car, and he eventually did shoot himself in the face but survived and now hes one of those people with an anus face like ant made fun of, and she said she doesnt feel bad because he was the type to do it just to spite someone. When we were fighting about something or whatever I photoshopped an anus onto my face and sent it to her.

1  boring_oneliner 2017-12-25

That sounds like a healthy relationship.

5  VanishingKurtMetzger 2017-12-25

Wait a few hours. Let your death be the first thing your family hears about Christmas morning. It will ruin Christmas forever for all of them, but at least you’ll be remembered.

1  throwawawyy2 2017-12-25

Not remembered for you though as you're probably unnoteworthy. Just for making your cousins have to pretend to be bummed and having to wait to fly their cool new minidrones a day or two later.

1  deep_legal_shit 2017-12-25

lol

3  ShetUp 2017-12-25

Keep Calm and Plug Vos

3  InHell1979 2017-12-25

The funny thing about women is that -even thought they're supposed to be the ones who are more empathetic as a whole- they don't give a shit about anyone else's feelings, until it has something to do with them or unless its convenient for them to do so.

1  Single_Action_Army 2017-12-25

Women are more in touch with their emotions, don't confuse that with compassion or empathy.
Men actually have a sense of responsibility. If you told a man and a woman that they could never see their child but they had to continue to work to support them, most (white) men would but watch women's enthusiasm for children slip away when they're not allowed to cuddle them and tout them around as an accessory.

1  ErocksLunchbox 2017-12-25

Women are more in touch with their emotions

This is a huge lie. Women aren't more in touch with their emotions, they just don't take control of them like a man has to. Are kids more in touch with their emotions than adults? No, because adults have learned what their emotions mean and how to deal with them. Men, anyway. Women are children.

1  Single_Action_Army 2017-12-25

Being in touch with your emotions doesn't necessarily mean you know how to control them.

4  AppleBonfire 2017-12-25

Men who are in touch with their emotions = fags

1  SirWallaceII 2017-12-25

Women only care about their own personal feels that often operate on a basis of zero logic or thought or even facts.

3  aRTie02150 2017-12-25

Wait until KillaKuhn starts his trial before you go killing yourself.

2  Suibu 2017-12-25

Buck up, plenty of fish in the sea

2  senselessdegenerate 2017-12-25

Plenty of cooter that smells like fish

2  Hold_My_Brush22 2017-12-25

That'd be great if I wanted to fuck a fish.

3  TriangleDimes 2017-12-25

If you value any of these broads over another you're literally a gay homosexual. They're all blank slates anyway, find a lonely one and upload all your opinions and beliefs into them over the course of 2 months.

1  thrillated 2017-12-25

Aka The Tranpa Method

1  ChippusMaximus 2017-12-25

Works best if they're young and don't know any better, right Ant?

1  TriangleDimes 2017-12-25

I accept the joke but you can do this with women at any age. It's actually easier as they get older because the desperation sets in so they're looking for anything that looks like an answer.

1  ChippusMaximus 2017-12-25

That's true but it's not genuine. They are old but do it to appease you and keep you around. When they're young they're stupid and don't look into things and think you are the smartest man on earth and will follow you to the end of time and take it in the butt.

3  TriangleDimes 2017-12-25

Women are stupid, period. You could convert Ann Coulter to a Democrat if you had the right dick.

2  ChippusMaximus 2017-12-25

They really are terrible followers and even worse leaders.

1  [deleted] 2017-12-25

[deleted]

1  Not_My_Real_Acct_ 2017-12-25

Probably the greatest think I ever did was wait until I was 43 to get married. I've had so many exes who dumped me then came back years later because they realized that it was worth putting up with my shit. If I'd cashed in my chips when I was 30 or 35 I don't think I would've had so many women to choose from. Conversely, if I'd waited until 50 or 55, a lot of the good ones would've already been taken.

1  Yujiro_Hanma_ 2017-12-25

Thanks for the life lesson grandpa

1  [deleted] 2017-12-25

[deleted]

1  Clamdilicus 2017-12-25

What about a narwhal.

1  AppleFan79 2017-12-25

Dude, stop being so hard on yourself.

Just grab another hole and plug it with your cock.

They're all out there.

2  throwawaymanthrows 2017-12-25

If a girl dumps a guy, it usually means she's already got another guy picked out.

1  chomp-chomp-chump 2017-12-25

Exactly.

1  Assandtiddies 2017-12-25

True. Or you’re just boring.

1  [deleted] 2017-12-25

[deleted]

1  thebudgetgamer 2017-12-25

A double in case of trouble

1  AppleFan79 2017-12-25

... which means she was cheating on the first guy.

Probably for awhile.

1  Hold_My_Brush22 2017-12-25

Probably with a mulatto gentleman.

1  parrotpeople 2017-12-25

Hah "mulatto", sure buddy

1  ZigginZaggin 2017-12-25

Or some of her bitch girlfriends have been yapping in her ear. Not that I speak from experience.

1  deepdarkz 2017-12-25

Definitely. Women are all whores, it's true.

1  Billyassman 2017-12-25

Probably been fuckin new guy for awhile now. Fuck that skank whore.

1  GullibleGilbert 2017-12-25

Nope.

sometimes they dumb you because they realize what an utter failure you are way before there is time for them to pick another guy

2  Midian9876 2017-12-25

At least she didn’t leave you for a skateboarder

2  buzzkill_ed 2017-12-25

So will you get to return whatever you wasted money on for Christmas?

2  edfromla 2017-12-25

I salute you, see you in hell

2  TitTown 2017-12-25

When you're dead, we'll forget you. Merry Xmas

2  johnfreeman1111111 2017-12-25

"Women were put on this Earth for Mans pleasure" - Teddy Roosevelt

2  GavinEnigma 2017-12-25

Dude, hit a bar ASAP (hopefully you read this Christmas night, GO CHRISTMAS NIGHT). Bring this whole "I was broken up with on Christmas" gimmick with you and you are bound to fuck some girl who is just in town to visit her parents for the holidays.

1  sjeffiesjeff 2017-12-25

I was expecting a Vos plug at least. What does anyone really get out of this post?

3  FrankieBianchi 2017-12-25

i feel better after reading this personally. my life is a lot better than his by comparison. i would kill myself if i was him

1  sjeffiesjeff 2017-12-25

Yeah me too but there's no need to brag

1  edfromla 2017-12-25

Yes

0  Hold_My_Brush22 2017-12-25

What are you a fuckin' (((mod)))?!

1  TheGhostOfAbeVigoda 2017-12-25

How long were you dating this harlot?

1  Hold_My_Brush22 2017-12-25

Like 5 months, give or take.

4  TheGhostOfAbeVigoda 2017-12-25

Jesus Christ. I've taken longer shits.

2  Clamdilicus 2017-12-25

You dodged a bullet. Better to find out now than after she's pregnant with Bam's baby.

2  SirWallaceII 2017-12-25

Lol boo hoo

1  [deleted] 2017-12-25

[deleted]

1  [deleted] 2017-12-25

[deleted]

1  undersight 2017-12-25

You shouldn’t care too much then. If you do then it’ll be emotional growth you desperately need.

1  TheMidnight_Rider 2017-12-25

Lol, you're being this faggy and dramatic about a 5 month relationship? Start acting like a man ffs.

1  holodog 2017-12-25

Double- or triple-braid rope is what you want to use. Don't fag out on us with some clothesline or an extension cord.

1  The-Liberace-Flu 2017-12-25

Teach her a lesson and go down to local bathhouse,blow everyone then brag to her about it

5  NickDutchNinja 2017-12-25

Why would he brag about carrying on with his hobbies after the break-up?

2  chomp-chomp-chump 2017-12-25

He’ll run into her down there doing the same sorts of activities.

1  SavePoonerman 2017-12-25

go for suspension hanging, drop hanging is too messy.

1  giantpish 2017-12-25

Yeh this would be the way to go, you could probably even bang out a quick asphyxi-wank on the way out.

1  Yaseetheo 2017-12-25

I was once dumped on Valentine's Day so I feel your pain?

2  DOPIEandSTANLEY 2017-12-25

Any man who gives a fuck about Valentine's Day deserves everything any woman ever does to him.

1  Igrewuppoorina6brhou 2017-12-25

Don't do it, brother. There's always tomorrow. Until you die naturally at least

1  4lexM 2017-12-25

Things will get better.

1  bill_burrs_butthole 2017-12-25

Better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all, right gang?

1  ZigginZaggin 2017-12-25

Seriously friend, don't ponder suicide. Just use drugs and alcohol to kill your pain like the rest of us.

1  NortheastPhilly 2017-12-25

And I guess our present was one less faggot

1  kjb109 2017-12-25

She dumped to save on a Christmas gift. Don't worry. She'll be back next week you fucking idiot.

1  ChippusMaximus 2017-12-25

lol

1  CobraStrikingBaby_ 2017-12-25

I wish you were dumped with battery acid

1  Carbonainducedcoma 2017-12-25

Do you like reindeer cock? I’m sucking comet’s now. When they get to your place blow one of them. It’ll cheer you up.

1  TJMaxxGurl 2017-12-25

Maybe Santa will bring you a new one!

1  Single_Action_Army 2017-12-25

Buck up, son.
Least you're not Opie.

1  throwawawyy2 2017-12-25

She's probably a whore cunt (or a nice person).

Wish generally not good things on her and keep moving

1  ObsessiveMuso 2017-12-25

...

where's the Vos gig?

1  bhp6 2017-12-25

shoot to kill

1  TheTigerDriver 2017-12-25

I am so thankful to live in NYC where the most horrible Asians can be had for 60 bucks.

1  nottakingthepiss 2017-12-25

I have it on good authority that bitches ain't shit.

1  mattirawks 2017-12-25

But hoes and tricks

1  AnnJilliansBrassiere 2017-12-25

Got dumped? Only matters here if the dump was over a glass table. Otherwise dump a knife on your wrists, shitbag. AHHPECHKAAAHHZZ

1  KenFrezno 2017-12-25

Edgy

1  [deleted] 2017-12-25

[removed]

1  deep_legal_shit 2017-12-25

haha LOSER

e: we are here for you, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

1  SibHashian13 2017-12-25

Before I even give a shit....:how long were you two fellas together?

1  wicked_crayfish 2017-12-25

Guess that lock of pubes will have to wait till next Christmas for some other lucky lady.

1  fiffy_tiffy 2017-12-25

Dude, ya get some VR goggles, ya put on some pov porn. Boom, no need for a new girlfriend.

0  deyterkyerjerb 2017-12-25

k see ya

-1  deanthecleanmachine 2017-12-25

id tell you to kill yourself but thats a rough one. Holiday hookers are ok

-1  dra_kul88 2017-12-25

women are whores falala posting revenge porn on pornhub falalha looking up exes falala

5  JerseyLowLife 2017-12-25

go to florida. my buddy got his 9mm for $200. it did the trick.

3  TriangleDimes 2017-12-25

If you value any of these broads over another you're literally a gay homosexual. They're all blank slates anyway, find a lonely one and upload all your opinions and beliefs into them over the course of 2 months.

1  [deleted] 2017-12-25

[deleted]

3  AppleFan79 2017-12-25

Let this be a lesson: be civil to slits and you will get burned.

EACH & EVERY TIME.

Nature has programmed into them the necessity to be dominated.

Cliché yes, but nevertheless unfortunately true.

Every hole is like this. Every. One.

1  Clamdilicus 2017-12-25

What about a narwhal.

1  AppleFan79 2017-12-25

Dude, stop being so hard on yourself.

Just grab another hole and plug it with your cock.

They're all out there.

1  ErocksLunchbox 2017-12-25

Women are more in touch with their emotions

This is a huge lie. Women aren't more in touch with their emotions, they just don't take control of them like a man has to. Are kids more in touch with their emotions than adults? No, because adults have learned what their emotions mean and how to deal with them. Men, anyway. Women are children.

1  LarryKleist711 2017-12-25

I laughed. I can't tell if you are being serious. Either way. You had an interesting friend.

1  JessesManPanties 2017-12-25

No emojis here

1  deep_legal_shit 2017-12-25

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1wV3lmbSv4

1  deep_legal_shit 2017-12-25

lol

1  SirWallaceII 2017-12-25

Women only care about their own personal feels that often operate on a basis of zero logic or thought or even facts.

5  WizardEric 2017-12-25

What kind of loser doesn’t have a gun and a bullet?

No wonder she dumped you.

4  Purplestahli 2017-12-25

What are the backer perks?

4  Hold_My_Brush22 2017-12-25

My lifeless corpse.