r/opieandanthony: Robert Kelly Tonight Show stand up..... not bad Cheese Tits

5 drakenthegreat 2017-12-22

"I have 30 summers left"

Perhaps less than that Mr. Kelly

1 Clint0nBukowski 2017-12-22

He said , “4 and a half” wrong

1 Eternalforms 2017-12-22

How many morbidly obese people make it far into their 60s realistically ? He might be able to see his kids graduate from college and move out if hes lucky.

1 cabaretcabaret 2017-12-22

He can't say a lower number on the Jimmy Fallon show, half the audience would feint

2 Chuck_Chasem 2017-12-22

Blob Belly

2 TheMaestro2 2017-12-22

Scorch would DEFINITELY call him to the couch after this

2 52017 2017-12-22

Wow. Opens with the same joke about zipping up his jacket he's told over and over, tells another fat joke, then does a terrible impression. I'll never understand why this douche gets love from this sub. He should go back on tour with Dane Cook. Fits his style of hacky mediocrity.

1 Taureg01 2017-12-22

The funniest joke Bobby ever played was attempting to play football on the Dane cook comedy tour and was horribly injured within 3 minutes of activity

1 JohnF_O 2017-12-22

Thank you, my feelings exactly. Fat riot cop, guy named Sean ordering pizza, so mediocre.

2 escobar144 2017-12-22

Ol blubber butt actually brought it tonight. Not gonna lie that “I’m gonna have hair forever” line gave me a good laugh.

2 WhooKiddzDabesso 2017-12-22

You’re a simple guy

1 Zach86 2017-12-22

Ughhhhhh made it 30 seconds fuckin booooo

1 footytang 2017-12-22

Congrats on the autism, faggot.

1 Zach86 2017-12-22

Awww your post sucked

1 Joe_Cumia 2017-12-22

I'll fuck your dad bro

1 doch15 2017-12-22

This is where you say, "Oh yeah keep downvoting faggots!"

0 Chippah69 2017-12-22

I agree Bobby sucks. Who ever told him he was funny?

1 footytang 2017-12-22

Didn't murder but didn't bomb either. Dude might have a career in comedy.

3 Jungies 2017-12-22

[Light Laughter]

The Closed Caption guy is a Good Egg.

3 PaintedPicture 2017-12-22

He was funnier here than any other stand up if his I've seen. Good for him

2 drsteve103 2017-12-22

He did 80 minutes for one of our events and he fucking KILLED and the material was so blue my mother in law 'bout shit herself. Bobby is a very funny man and one of my favorite people in the world.

1 PaintedPicture 2017-12-22

I saw his perform a few years ago and i thought he was way funnier on the radio than the set i heard. But this set was pretty good

1 Pound_Sandman 2017-12-22

have you watched his hour on netflix yet?

1 PaintedPicture 2017-12-22

No should i

2 Pound_Sandman 2017-12-22

I don't even remember

1 KennethFresno 2017-12-22

The crowd liked it but it was terrible. I did laugh when he implied he had 30 years to live.

1 meatbrawls 2017-12-22

This was actually pretty good. Alot better than some of his other material I've seen.

1 Dennyislife 2017-12-22

Stand up is awful.

5 alamanluke 2017-12-22

I think we're specially immune to it, since what we really liked from the show was the genuine wit and spontaneity that produced great lines and jokes. Stand up seems so contrived and shitty in comparison.

3 banannnarama47 2017-12-22

You are just a civilian

1 fuckstartmyheartx 2017-12-22

Agree. Especially on these shows where absolutely nothing is natural and so stiff. It's all been done better before

1 dave_ohhh 2017-12-22

What was with the first part? "I don't have to you offer me five million dollars i would happily decline" it made no sense. Was it a bad edit. Overall well done Bawwwwby

1 thndr87 2017-12-22

"I don't care if you offer me five million..." He's saying he is so fat that he won't even attempt to zip up his jacket because he knows it won't

1 dougfunny86 2017-12-22

Yeah not sure how you could miss that.

1 fish_flower 2017-12-22

I mean I didn't laugh but I wasn't totally annoyed

3 Teds-Hentai-Emporium 2017-12-22

which is about the best you can hope for on these late night shows

1 JimNortonUnfunnyFag 2017-12-22

Bet he looks like a trash bag filled with lotion when he's naked.

1 Sks44 2017-12-22

You could paint him gold and have him hold a stack of take out menus in Chinatown and no one would blink an eye.

1 momomike 2017-12-22

bobby did so well that jimmy called him over to sit as the couch

3 RBuddCumia 2017-12-22

"I'm doing a portrait right now called 'Tibetan Lesbian on couch'"

1 ManbadFerrara 2017-12-22

Try as I might, I can't not like Bob Kelly.

9 urethral_lobotomy 2017-12-22

I love him, but i dont find him very funny. Atleast not when hes trying to be funny.

8 KenFrezno 2017-12-22

podcasting killed stand up. Natural conversation and back and forth is way superior medium to talking on a stage.

2 Muhhaughtmuh_Gondee 2017-12-22

True enough though Ive noticed I still like it a lot in really small doses like these 5min late night sets, which are really tightly arranged and to the point

1 [deleted] 2017-12-22

[deleted]

3 Chippah69 2017-12-22

Yeah there's nothing special about him

1 fuckstartmyheartx 2017-12-22

I find most comedians to be like this.

2 ffffantomas 2017-12-22

Ya it took a few years but vos bobby and the gang all grew on me. Breuer is the only regular that comes to mind where I will switch off if he's on

1 pilgrimbomb 2017-12-22

bobs slimming down

1 WeWuzKangz 2017-12-22

This wasn't funny, but it was fun

1 [deleted] 2017-12-22

[deleted]

1 UhLookHereMan 2017-12-22

I can't tell Bobby and Norton's voices apart

1 estherku 2017-12-22

its like they're the same person or sumthin tsk tsk

1 Chippah69 2017-12-22

Because he's trying to be like Norton

1 UhLookHereMan 2017-12-22

Hope he likes anal then

1 DickieBoss 2017-12-22

Good job Bawby

1 undersight 2017-12-22

Crowd was super nice to him

1 SledgeBammer 2017-12-22

Bobby is shaped like an egg

1 Opesterino 2017-12-22

this makes me happy for some reason. at first I thought it was just a youtube greenscreen bit.

what is up with the dark red pants? is that an inside joke or something between them?

1 Psych555 2017-12-22

That awkward riot gear cop premise was an odd comedic choice. Why not just say it was himself and the audience would laugh twice as much.

1 1475315963 2017-12-22

"[light laughter]"

so even deaf people can know not every joke is a winner

1 Foddashow 2017-12-22

So weird to see him perform clean at this point. Was fully expecting him to drop a dick sucking reference in.

1 FrankkWasBetter 2017-12-22

You can tell through his comedy he came up with Dane Cook.

1 Dark_Thoughtz_666 2017-12-22

Yep. His dolphin story reminded me of dane cooks b&e joke.

1 JSoupL 2017-12-22

Bobby talks about being fat more than black comedians talk about race.

1 joomommyhappy 2017-12-22

That would have been a typically weak spot for a new comedian. For a guy like Bobby, that was borderline hack-awful.

There wasn't one genuine laugh in there.

A comedian who's been at it as long as Bobby has should have an incredibly tight 5 minutes. Instead, he blew almost half his time on a way too long, meandering, weak-premised "overweight riot cop" joke with no real payoff.

Or was it just a set-up to get to that stellar wife impression?

either way: boo!

TL;DR - Merry Christmas! :)

1 Lady_Dis_Liver 2017-12-22

Duuuude, you got your mic, your Big and Tall leather jacket that you've outgrown, clogged arteries.

1 VicDumb 2017-12-22

I probably would've laughed at this 10 years ago.

1 wackadoodle_wigwam 2017-12-22

I thought he bawmed, but I still love him.

1 WoopEmGangbangStyle 2017-12-22

He looked really fat and stupid during his set.

1 The_Sharpie_Is_Black 2017-12-22