when?

what a pussy.

What the fuck, this is real?

Who doesn't know how to handle a flat tire? His father and all children he birthed should be castrated for creating such a man-child.

Someone should buy him a can of that tyre-inflating temporary repair foam... just like I did for my girly ex-girl.

tyre-inflating temporary repair foam

What the fuck is a "tyre"? And this sounds interesting... can you make it home with it?

Yeh, if it's just a puncture not a total split it'll get you home, annoys tire fitters as it's messy, it also inflates the tire as you empty the can into it. there ya go

Fellas, fellas... He's British but you're Canadian.
You're both gay.

HA Yeah? Well youre a cantelope

I wish the story had an Ennis Cosby ending.

But sir, Ennis Cosby was shot and kil...oh.

Yeah a black man randomly killed by a white robber. Real man bites dog story.

+1, sir!

That was a very stressful situation for him, his hairline proves it.

He didn’t know his car had a jack. He thought a jack was an option and assumed his car didn’t have one.

Im sure any time he tried to even moderately rebuke sam for something he did, that weird incesty mom of his freaked out about her faggot boy beimg abused.

He probably just gave up trying

Too busy drinking his soul away after finding out Sam's older brother is a-- you know.

Nigger? Jew?? What??? Tell me!!!

Worse.

Gay.

Gay.

I would be gay too if I got to go see Rich Vos perform on Friday the 15th at Funny Stop Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio

I thought you your were going to say that he was drinking buttermilk and eating pickles. WTF is up with that?

I know for a fact it ruins the genes you pass down.

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Gets the Puerto Rican cum taste out of his mouth after kissing mrs roberts

The hair alone gives that away.

You can tell his father didn't raise him at all

Like a man! Leave the raising to the women. Men are too busy building skyscrapers, curing diseases, and running world to do trivial things like raising their children to be productive members of society.

how can you raise a boy that refused to grow in mind, body, and spirit?

Isn't it law that a car must come equipped with a spare tire and jack?

My car has no spare, just run-flats

Many cars nowadays don’t have a spare but give you a can of Fix a Flat.. at least Dodge’s do...

Hyundai/Kia, too.

No. but it was a jeep wrangler. They all have spare tires.

one of those guys

*bugmen

Adam Friedland

Adam Friedland

malcolm knows whats up

What good is the jack when he doesn't even know how to use it or change the tire.

It's so the cops think he has a weapon when they arrive and dispatch him.

Dead hour one

Is this a lug wrench?!

Tss... TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL!!!

It was 4 a.m. in the Bronx and he had alienated all his friends and co-workers by being a shit-stirrer.

Didn’t he do it a second time when he got a flat in the city after getting hit by a bus?

his father should be ashamed

Sam's father is completely insane and not in a fun way. He has a handlebar mustache and eats raw potatoes with a glass of buttermilk. I doubt he's capable of feeling shame, nor any normal human emotion at all.

How could you leave out the sardine sandwich? The raw potato is the most normal part of the Greatest Treats

I heard that when AAA came to assist him with his flat, the agent, upon leaving, noted to his friend that he was "surprised Art Garfunkel looked so young for his age!"

Sam fits the mold perfectly of "kid with overbearing mother"

I would rape Sam Roberts for the story

Username checks out.

The more annoying part is that Sam isn't ashamed of it, he thinks it's a funny story.

I would be ashamed. I'm not even a car guy yet I carry an extra lug wrench, gas can, jumper cables, air compressor and made sure to know where exactly key components such battery (in the trunk on my 300) are located.

I basically do this so I dont become emasculated like that fag, Sam Roberts in front of another man.

Settle down, Steve Mcqueen.

So, you're not a woman?

I'm definitely NOT a pedophile

Just so you know, pedophiles know how to change tired too.

change tired too.

Yeah I'm tired too. Goodnight.

And then Opie Sr ran the bit into the ground by playing a bunch of 911 calls instead of letting the funny people riff and smash Opie Jr

911 should have told him the police were on there way and when they got their they should have arrested him for wasting there time with a non emergency.

People who think there's anything whatsoever impressive about knowing about cars are faggots who can't get laid without knowledge that became universal/obselete by the time we all turned 19.

If this post gets 1000 downvotes I'll suck every cock on this site.

If not, you car-obsessed faggots have to admit that you are car-obsessed faggots.

When has changing a fucking tire become obsolete? Can you change a tire or jump start a car? Because that is woman-level shit if you cannot.

I downvoted you, but its 999 votes away as of now to get whats coming to me.

I can't change a tire. Why would I ever have learned? What possible motivation could I possibly have ever had to get that dirty?

It's so easy to make enough money to avoid doing something like that.

You have a retarded obselete pride in the practice.

You would have learned so you don't have to call anyone else to help your womanly ass. I don't get paid to change tires, I change my own that is all. Most women I know can change a tire, you are like Sam.

You really have to be kidding, right? You are some fatso on this sub, you make shit for pay.

If you're what I think you are, I would estimate I make about double what you do. Trucker/vo-tech around 70k? Am I close estimating your salary?

Lol, a trucker comment, how predictable. Way off stupid.

WOW that was an omission/admission.

So what shitty high school did you graduate from that had a big ol' vocational-technical program that sucked you into Stupid for the last 20 years?

Lol. This is a joke, right?

You've said you aren't a trucker, but love changing tires. I was just wondering what you are if you're not a trucker.

So...yes, its a joke is your answer.

Run away then.

Ok

I like how you edited your comment to add "It's impressive that you don't take money for changing other people's tires. Still. I'll bet you change other people's tires. You probably take pride in it."

You're a fucking joke. But you knew that already.

I usually call roadside assistance to change my tire but they take over an hour to get to my location. If I'm in a rush I'll just change the tire myself which takes me around 10 minutes.

Also if you know what you are doing

I've had to change a tire on my way to work

once.

You are missing the point entirely, because you are a huge fag. It's not about him not changing it, it's that he can't and thinks it's cool to be a helpless little bitch. You are a trolling fag, and there is no way you make as much money as you pretend to make. I hope you boyfriend spits your own jizz in your eye.

Implying he's not a bottom.

His boyfriend is a gentleman.

thinks it's cool to be a helpless little bitch

No, I just have other things to worry about. Things that come up way more often. In fact, this thing, that the faggots are so proud of, has never even once come up in my 25 years of driving.

So being proud of it seems more than a bit overblown.

Lol wait you're 40 years old and still behave like this? Ahahahaha

I was talking about Sam, not you, self obsessed faggot.

No one that isnt a total queer is proud of it. Its something you should know how to do as an adult. It's like when Norton brags about not knowing how to use a stove.

You sound like an "adulting is hard" millenial queer.

That's great that you're so extravagantly wealthy that you can afford AAA, but you should still know how to change a fucking tire, nerd.

When I call your uncle to change my tire, I'll make sure to give him a knowing look.

He'll know I'm the "nerd", and he'll know that I know that he's my bitch.

And he'll know that I know he's my slave loser-bitch.

You sure do have a big case of unwarranted self importance.

911 should have told him the police were on there way and when they got their they should have arrested him for wasting there time with a non emergency.

His parents are useless. I think that has to be it. He's a stereotype millennial twink faggot that never had to every lift a finger at home.

His parents are useless. I think that has to be it. He's a stereotype millennial twink faggot that never ever had to lift a finger at home to help out. He watched wrestling in his room and his cunt of a mother brought him food and snacks.

You forgot to say "Reminder:"

I hope somebody puts a tire iron upside his goofy, receding Jewfro.

I genuinely consider him a “disposable person”

Here is how i imagine the call went. 911: 911 what's your emergency Faggot: I have Flat tire and I don't know how to change it please help. 911: Ma'am 911 is only for emergencies please hang up and call a tow truck.