Keanu is immortal.

So is he a vampire or some shit?

Tsss well, he sure sucks

Sucks fawkn pevkahs

Sylvester Stallone is like 75 and still looks great

You may want to go see your opthomologist.

TSS yeah! Or go to the glasses store or sumthin!

He also does a shit load of HGH.

And zero heroin.

Which is similar to Artie because that's the sound he makes when he shits a load.

Max Von Sydow is 88, he always looked old.

In an alternate timeline there's a sober and healthy Artie that's 127 years old. The fact that he didn't die ages ago is staggering.

Fartie Lange.

Tss Tss he had a lot of fawkin beans. Tss tss.

Tsss yeah he probably isn't hungry after eatin all them beans or sumpthin

Artie doesnt look all that old, he just looks like a person who is rotting and bloating from the inside. He is just all fucked up looking, he also recently looks like he got the shit beat out of him

Bravo

Manziervo.

oh yes, Keanu.

We gay?

Yeah, but you won't hear Keanu on a premier podcast for about 5-6 hours a week

Who's the real winner here?

That is because Keanu takes better care of himself

Goin to da gym

Yeah sure he might look younger but has he had the same life experiences and fun times as Artie? I doubt so. I for one don't give a care about looks. Wrinkles are just the map of a well lived life gang.

What's weird is how Artie looked when he was hosting hosting his own show. Like a totally different person. He looks now more like he did on Howard.

Artie is really a time traveling Benjamin Franklin. He even found the fountain of youth but sharted in it causing these less than favorable results.

Tsss well, he sure sucks

Tsss yeah he probably isn't hungry after eatin all them beans or sumpthin