We listen to the steve Harvey morning show in my carpool and everyone loves the prank phone calls. I'm on a ton of antipsychotics and am incapable of smiling. They feel the need to explain to me why it's funny and I try to convince them it's fake.

You carpool to the cotton fields?

Only until Google gets that law passed where objects will be allowed to drive themselves.

It shouldn't be a problem. After all, as property you're allowed to drive.

Black on black crime is absolutely justifiable in this scenario.

We listen to the steve Harvey morning show in my carpool

Holy shit I'd kill myself

Black people don't even like Steve Harvey. I guess we finally found his audience.

I think fat old white women who want a non-intimidating foray into black cock are the primary listeners, which concerns me because my 60 year old mother used to watched his talk show.

How many mens..

We surveyed over 100 ment

What about unclepsychotics?

They explain why it's funny? You work with Opie's?

Is that what we call them now?

You see, it's funny to call them Opie's because Opie over-explains jokes, that's why I set that up for you. DAT'S DA BIT!

I burnt a cross on the lawn of an Opie when they moved in next door.

hey guys, I found the next subreddit member to do time for murder ^{^}

they'll find me not guilty by reason of insanity

I know I would.

I have a coworker that loves to tune into the daily "war of the roses" at the end of the day sometimes as he is creating a report. Me and another guy have tried to convince him its fake but he insists each time that its totally real. Can't get through to some of these people.

I'm jealous of people who are that dumb. It must be blissful like believing in santa claus

Sir, I can assure you that the decades-long dynastic civil war that afflicted England in the fifteenth century was very real.

Oh god, I worked at a small call center at one point where they would have on the local station with the prepburger war of the roses stunts and people would just titter at it. Try telling anyone that it's fake and they act like you stomped on their cake.

Totally. They can't admit its fake because they are so into it but its so obvious.

He still doing the scarlet letter?

Yes ugh

Next time a prank call comes on try to look for something that would cause the car to flip killing everybody in the process .

That's terrible, I'm sorry.

Someone in my office was telling me about a funny radio prank call they heard and I accidentally went on an autistic rant about how the FCC banned real prank calls so everything you hear is scripted and fake.

I'm on a ton of antipsychotics and am incapable of smiling

so was Mrs.Chipperson until she stopped. Don't you wank to be Mrs. Sheckler?

It really does take a baby being thrown through a windshield of a getaway car to get me laughing at this point.

Don't just complain. Be proactive.

Kills Kuhn's rap career is going to explode when he gets out and has some real street cred. Not many rappers these days can claim to have an actual murder under their belt.

brotha lynch already did Baby Killa

nigga nuts and guts and slabs of human meat mutha fucka

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMZZ5lXZFMk thru the windshield of my car while speeding from the cops

I can viziolize it just fine, asshole

Don't worry. Be happy.

Punchline: police weren't even chasing him

have you ever seen Mr Pickles on adult swim

even at that, its because we know the guy

Listening to Anthony is a master class in fake laughter.

Hahahaha HOOOOLLLEEEE SHIIIIT

Repeat after me “HHHHH AAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAA H ^{O L Y} S ^{H I T”}

u prob just have aspergers. no one thinks office meeting jokes are funny but they dont write manifestos like this

This guy likes to be part of the solution.

Hopefully the final solution.

tssss wait I got an ORIGINAL one pekkas

I did nazi that cummin

BERRIED U

This guy gets it.

This explains why I just stare at people in office meetings when they crack a shit joke.

I am working on a three volume anthology about bad office humour actually and my mom says I don't have any Asperger's.

humour

Just leave

I'm Canadian, not a British faggot. I know it's still gross, but not as much.

Play this for them and laugh together.

"Steve dun shot the baby"

Ugh, listen to him niggering it up. Sounds like Hillary in front of a southern audience.

Developing a fake laugh that seems genuine is a skill, one that Opie and Ant are still trying to master.

HA HA HO-HOLY SHIET!

Sometimes I laugh because I am embarrassed for the person and their stories, which comes off as genuine laughter.

I feel like Patrice did that with Opie a bunch. Or that's what I tell myself because I can't cope with the idea of Patrice thinking Opie was actually funny.

Patrice knew Opie was his meal ticket, and a dangerous person to cross. He was good at reading people.

Patrice would bust on anyone, and constantly, but the most he ever did to Opie was half-heartedly rip on his delicious titties before backpedaling out of it.

Anything Patrice did during interactions with Opie was specifically designed to keep him safely at arms length.

Patrice knew Opie was his meal ticket, and a dangerous person to cross.

lol. if he was that smart he wouldn't have been so low on the totem pole when he died

Show me anyone aside from Anthony or Jimmy who gained any real traction under Opie. It could be argued that they only gained traction out of necessity. It had nothing to do with intelligence. It's opies style to keep people low and distant. If Patrice was going to climb the ladder it was going to be outside of opies sphere of influence. And he was doing that slowly. We all know that Patrice wasn't very good at rubbing elbows with Hollywood, because he wouldn't compromise is values to tapdance for them. Also, Opie is a huge closet racist so deep down he had no respect for Patrice as a human being. Patrice hit his glass ceiling at Sirius as long as Opie was around, and his Hollywood/ very career would have grown slowly had he continued to exist.

re-read your own comment dickhead. You just said in long sentences what i said in one short one.

Oh dear. It's as if we agree.

How problematic.

I only get a laugh when skimming through the obituaries

Wow

I can’t even begin...do you think you have a “smart” sense of humor because you liked some dogshit morning zoo?

I can't even.

i know that smile I do it too. Like "aww how cute they are having a good chuckle... but that wasn't funny"

No. I have funny friends

I find that Chip-like responses to those shitty jokes work best.

Chip jokes kill without the voice

It's infuriating how many genuine laughs my attempts at Chipisms have gotten

The show and this sub taught me that almost nothing is funny And I am almost always wrong for laughing.

It should’ve been “People are starting to think it’s because I’m depressed, but genuinely I am”

Mine was always bad/along the same horrible lines as Ant & Jimmy, which was what drew me to the show in the first place. But it definitely got worse, and for all the shit O&A get, things like Jocktober & calling out showbiz phony crap basically ruined 90% of entertainment for me.

Even worse, when I was in college and in my 20s and in punk rock bands and shit, I was pretty liberal leaning. It took years for Ants rants to sink in, but eventually he did and now between him and DiPaolo I'm a miserable right leaning generally conservative Republican. It's cost me pussy, jobs, everything. Im not even kidding.

[removed]

Raise eyebrows and nod. I can't bring myself to smile at my boss' recycled facebook humor.

When someone posts a link to image hosting site known as Imgur I sometimes end up scrolling through a few images in their "Most Viral" feed. Sometimes it's shocking just how unhumored I am by the images and comments. Corny fucking references, milquetoast cutesy humor, dadjokes. I spend so much time in my bubbles of humor that I can't enjoy anything outside of them. Same thing happens with politics. I'll see an image that I'm absolutely sure is viral because it's so abhorrent, like a 5 year old drag queen walking down a runway with a bunch of queers cheering him on. Then I'll scroll down to the comments and they're all supportive.

Only thing that I can still connect with outsiders on is cute animal humor. I'll always be a fag for cats doing cute things.

Only thing that I can still connect with outsiders on is cute animal humor. I'll always be a fag for cats doing cute things.

Well that's just good natured fun.

This one's adorable

Is it an herpetic vagina? Someone?

No.

I look at comments on the front page here all the time just cause I"m in awe. I read the stupid shit people quip at each in these giant comment chains with like 5000 upvotes and just don't understand who the hell these fuckin dweebs are.

I'm the same with the animals.

Since getting into the O&A world (2011) and becoming a fan of many of the comedians that have been guests I honestly can't laugh at most of the hack shit on both TV and movie. It's simple minded stuff I should just allow myself to laugh at being it's so harmless and done for laughs but i just can't.

Yeah I can see how that would happen. I too can't enjoy hacky radio bits and lame comedy that mainstream listeners like. I point out fake bits to my girlfriend but in general I let people enjoy whatever they like and feel I need to clarify that O&A humor isn't for everyone or may be offensive.

I'm just glad I don't have American college friends. I can't imagine having easily offended people like that in my life.

I say horrific things to my fellow millennial college friends and they generally find offensive and mean humor funny when it's not genuine.

College student are mostly left leaning for sure, but most aren't protesting against small shit or SJWs. And you can always tell who those types were on sight or as soon as they open their stupid mouths.

I see this sentiment a lot and it seems like you all are just angsty retards. There are plenty of things from o&a that weren't vulgar or highly offensive that made us laugh.

I think you all have shit senses of humor to begin with.

I was watching that 3 billboard movie a few days ago at the theater. And every time they would do some corny line, the entire crowd would die laughing. I couldn't imagine how they found it so funny. All it takes is for them to say a curse word in a joking tone, and these people lose their minds. I used to be like that when I was real young. But now it takes a lot more to make me laugh.

People laugh at shitty jokes because of insecurity. They don't want to be the only ones not laughing at a joke so they subconsciously lower their standards. Irony, OP is insecure because he doesn't find the jokes funny, and the people in the car are insecure that they'll be judged for not laughing. Sounds like a garden hose in the window on the way to work might be the solution here.

I have a coworker that tells stories which all begin with "I got a good one for ya!..."

it hasn't been a good one yet :( feels bad man.

I have the same thing. Dropping your phone between the couch and the wall isn't a good story. It just happens sometimes.

I now only laugh at things that are fucked up.

I've always laughed at horrifying shit and nothing's changed. The other night I was reading the comments at /r/watchpeopledie and I was laughing so loud it woke the kids up.

The funniest scene I've ever seen in a movie is the part in Pulp Fiction where Vincent Vega accidentally shoots Marvin in the face. I thought that entire routine was one of the funniest skits ever written.

Did you see a sign in front of my house...?

Yeah you're twisted man. You laughed at a scene that was intended to be funny.

4-5 years after first immersing myself in O&A

rookie

Faggot. Show sucks bro.

two true statements

I work in an office setting with several people between the ages of 23 - 30 and I experience the same issue. I never get a kick out of the cutesy shit they think is just so hilarious and they probably (and rightfully so) think I’m an elitist asshole because I don’t laugh at it.

They’re into shows like Scrubs and How I Met your Mother, they romanticize the idea of a person who is hard-working but also drinks a bottle of wine as they’re working from home because they literally can’t even. They love puns. They refer to dogs as “doggo” or “puppers.” Many of them are hot women but they also have always LOVED Star Wars and are self-proclaimed nerds. They bask in hyperbole, saying things like, “Get me this dog, today,” and then follow it up with a video of a dog doing something cute. They also like a lot of stuff ironically, but would vehemently deny liking it ironically and would claim that they actually like it.

I’m not claiming, by the way, that I’m somehow better than them in any way. I’m a fucking joyless asshole.

Women have no sense of humor because of their built in narcissism. Every woman thinks every joke has a hidden truth to it (i.e. criticism directed at them). It can't just be a joke for the joke's sake or being clever with whatever setup came your way. That's why they only think is funny is cute or silly things. They'd misinterpret any clever joke that clearly had nothing to do with them as a critique at their intelligence.

Females are not funny. The only thing they’re good for is fucking.

Which is the one thing you'll never do, incel.

Quit stalking me you cuck.

Also FYI not incel.

It says so in your name, incel. And I remember your name from the REEEEEs after r/incels got banned, complaining about it. Anyway, it amuses me to remind me of your worthlessness. It's the only value an incel could possibly have.

You’re the one screeching all over reddit.

Mostly I'm just bored because I have the late shift at the library tonight. And I think it would be funny to be the little extra nudge that drove an incel to suicide. You have nothing to live for. No one will ever love you. No woman will ever fuck you. Hate, bitterness, loneliness and rage will be your lot for the rest of your sad life. Just do it.

Nah, i've just boring people around me. I just laugh at them, while telling jokes at their expense.

Fortunately most of the people I surround myself with are pretty sick individuals themselves, so the humor is there.

You are no longer a civilian

I laugh my balls off to the hokey hack jokes thrown out by my female colleagues during our team meetings.

When I am at work I'm constantly doing the fake laugh about stupid, trivial bullshit just to not raise any red flags about the fact that I mock abortions on a dead radio show subreddit

I can't laugh at anything anymore except for the occasional good movie (Bad Words, for example) and O&A archives.

Actually it makes me appreciate people's shit humor even more. I sit through meetings every day with people who are dropping "that's what she said" type lines left and right and I throw back my head and laugh way too long until it's awkward.

Last night I was watching some of the Stern roasts on YouTube. They are very funny. There's a ten minute clip of fat Colin absolutely destroying. Benjy is really good at the Andy Dick one, too.

Women have no sense of humor because of their built in narcissism. Every woman thinks every joke has a hidden truth to it (i.e. criticism directed at them). It can't just be a joke for the joke's sake or being clever with whatever setup came your way. That's why they only think is funny is cute or silly things. They'd misinterpret any clever joke that clearly had nothing to do with them as a critique at their intelligence.

Patrice knew Opie was his meal ticket, and a dangerous person to cross.

lol. if he was that smart he wouldn't have been so low on the totem pole when he died

Show me anyone aside from Anthony or Jimmy who gained any real traction under Opie. It could be argued that they only gained traction out of necessity. It had nothing to do with intelligence. It's opies style to keep people low and distant. If Patrice was going to climb the ladder it was going to be outside of opies sphere of influence. And he was doing that slowly. We all know that Patrice wasn't very good at rubbing elbows with Hollywood, because he wouldn't compromise is values to tapdance for them. Also, Opie is a huge closet racist so deep down he had no respect for Patrice as a human being. Patrice hit his glass ceiling at Sirius as long as Opie was around, and his Hollywood/ very career would have grown slowly had he continued to exist.