Along with: Getting there 10-15 minutes late half the time, The 15-20 minute piss breaks, Randomly leaving to get a gourmet muffin (can't someone get this for him? or at least get him a plate)

It's all coke breaks

Correct.

Why not Pepsi, or sumthin'? Tss.

Oh literal u/Anarox

Anthony has great chemistry with Artie

Diacetylmorphine

Fawk yeah, class I failed yumah

it’s like he’s a drug addict or something

fawk yeh I bet hes smokin doobiez

I didnt realize muffins caused nosebleeds....but then again, im no doctor.

they do if you eat them thruogh your nose

I've heard of "nose candy" but I don't know what this is! Is it candy in the shape of a nose?

trust me, the opester did some nose candy

Lil sniff, lil sniff

It causes fluuuuuid

Let's shoot up early today

Yeah like a fawkin school or sumthin

Holy shit. That's fucking insensitive, Chip.

"Yeah! You are! Fawkin' nailed 'em."

GWANN NOW

Artie two times

He repeats every joke/line every show multiple times per show. If Anthony doesn’t laugh right away Artie will repeat the joke again and again until he gets the laugh he thinks he deserves.

"Im about to tell you something... and it's a true story! True story..."

If i had told you in 1995 that one of the guys voicing the talking parrot or the genie would commit suicide work women's underwear...

fuck. anthony still hasn't said anything? at least he doesn't fake laugh as loudly. butits borderline alzeheimers.

They should just stop pretending it's anything else and just let him snort the shit live on the show.

Are we really believing that Art is still snorting his heroin? He's gonna be shooting by now right?

Yeah, his nose stopped working

I think if they have enough money they'll just smoke or snort it.

He might be broke though, drug addicts find a way even when they're millionaires.

Once you become a serious junkie you start shooting, otherwise you're basically just wasting heroin.

I think he was a pretty serious junky in the past, and I remember him saying he was terrified of needles. Maybe he has connections and got a Picc line put in.

This heroin break brought to you by, "Deep Discount"

Yeah I had a gourmet muffin one weekend.

Im gonna do a gram of gourmet muffin tonight.

You ever suck dick for a gourmet muffin?

Bobby Kelly has.

Get a muffin and free icing

Why not just let him spin around in the chain and do coke with his back turned and have someone deliver the muffin. Problems solved

Or just break that shit out on the desk, who gives a turkey.

Are you sure he didn't say "nod off"

Artie's also getting extremely sloppy with his lies, lazily mixing in jokes from bits into supposedly true stories.

It might work if we hadn't heard both the jokes and the stories a dozen times before.

The first 2-3 weeks he would take one Coke break at around the hour mark, then leave 5 minutes early as ant is wrapping up... .. now he arrives 15 minutes late, goes for a coke break every 20 minutes and then asks to leave early

Yes

Wow good work ethic , I do love that Ants probably livid behind the scenes. Also every picture on social media Artie looks worse everyday. Ant probably wants the media attention when he dies in 2 months.

I bet he learned this as a longshoreman. Especially after his unionized two-hour lunch break.

Yesterday he let it slip how much he was getting paid. Stupid John said something painfully unfunny and Artie said, " Are YOU paying me $800 grand? Then shut up"

No way Cumia is paying him that much.

And if he is, I'll hate him for not paying it to Jim instead.

Maybe between the show and road gigs he's making that. Definitely not from Cumia alone.

He might make that per year. There’s no way Anthony is paying him that, though.

Artie is still a headliner. He can make $10-20k per weekend (if not more.)

I can respect a guy who has the same workrate as me.

The best was when he disappeared for an hour and a half during his birthday show

It almost adds to how great the show is. It's a mixture of great comedy and raw humanity.

The "chemistry" is not that great.

There's a bug difference in listening as a radio show and watching the video show. I videoed yesterday's show and was shocked at how visibly fucked up Artie was. I really hate I saw that, because it's a pretty good show on the radio--not sure if I can unsee it.

Artie needs to get his shit together or he won't see year 2 of A&A.

To me it's really a slap in the face to Anth when Artie doesn't bother to show up on time especially considering all the money they're spending on him.

No one knows bathrooms better than addicts.

Artie is extremely hilarious and quick-witted, and the AA Show is 1,000 times better than TACS, although that's a pretty low bar. I'm definitely glad he's there.

But I have to assume that Artie has brought in a massive amount of subs for them to put up with how unprofessional he is.

He shows up about 5-15 minutes after the show starts probably 90% of the time; I can't remember the last time he was there at the beginning of the show.

He gets up to "take a diabetic piss" during every Ant live read (about once an hour), and often doesn't come back for at least 10 minutes.

And lately when he does come back after the second live read, it's with some kind of messy, crumbly food item like a muffin, which he then proceeds to eat on the air because his "blood sugar is low." And he doesn't even get a paper plate or anything, so he leaves crumbs all over his side of the desk, which he usually leaves there the rest of the show (and I imagine leaves period -- for someone else to clean up).

There must be a deli or something nearby that he goes to after he "pisses blood." Why can't he wait until after his grueling two-hour workday? And, if he must eat during a break, why can't he get it on the way in and inhale it off camera after he gets out of the bathroom?

Now lately he also stands up about five minutes before the show ends, and keeps edging his way further and further toward the edge of the set until it's over.

And the past few shows, as the OP noted, he now says "Let's knock off early" multiple times during the show. It came off like a joke at first, but now it seems like he really is trying to get Ant to end the show early.

The guy's entire job entails showing up at a certain time and sitting in a chair, cracking jokes for TWO HOURS A DAY, FOUR DAYS A WEEK, and he can't even be bothered to show up on time and consistently sit there for the whole two hours.

I doubt he's making the rumored $800K, but even 5% of that ($40K) probably seems unbelievable to the average person when they consider what he has to do to earn it. Lots of people work hard, miserable jobs 40 or even 60 hours a week and don't make $40K in a year.

I thought I also saw where a recent guest said (after the show, on Twitter or something) that Artie "smelled," but I can't remember who or where I saw it. (I realize how worthless that anecdote is, but I mention it anyway because it definitely seems like something that would be true, that Artie smells like he looks. Why would he be any less lazy with hygiene than he is with everything else?) The point is if it's true, you can add "also doesn't consistently bathe before he comes to work late" to the list.

Another flashback from the Stern years: remember when Artie spilled his Hi-C on the console and left it for Gary - or whoever - to clean up? He's replaced the H-C with the muffins.

Arties nose is the size of Lauren's chin.Holeee Shittttt.

How many poppy seed muffins does it take for.him to get a buzz?

Yeah it's like when I say "Hitler did nothing wrong" I'm saying it's a joke until someone takes me seriously.

Artie is unfortunately not sober. He has not made one comment about being sober since the show started (I have listend to 80% of episodes and enjoyed all of them). I am really worried about him but he is killing it on the show, he is so talented he makes Ant look like the Hole. All of his obscure 80's movie references and 70's baseball references only add to the appeal in my opinion. Hopefully he doesnt die.

"going to get a gourmet muffin"? are you serious? that's exactly the shit he was slinging on Stern. Anyone remember when he left the building for an extended time to "get his favorite breakfast" then claimed it took so long because he got "lightheaded" on the street and had to lay down before he came back? It was OBVIOUS he went to meet his drug dealer, who was either super late or didn't come at all. Since he's a drug addict, he has no choice but to wait. Then he has to go get the stupid breakfast to bring back to the office, to cover his tracks. Artie's funny as hell and has a good heart but he's still a lying junkie.