The 2017 version of Susan Boyle has a similar body and is as fuckable as Amy.

And at least Boyle is talented.

What about Amy's hit audition for Simon Cowell?

♫ "I ate a pie then raped a guy"

"Stole some jokes, then ate some chicken" ♫

I don't believe it was well received, sir.

She's just completely repulsive.

I hope he tries something kinky in bed and ties up her wrists/ankles and then sticks an apple in her mouth.

Ha! Cause she's big and fat and looks like a gross pig. 🐖

I clicked the link hoping the chef had a Samoan name.

Lol Land Whale. Good one

no they don't, attell wrote them.

thanks for keeping tabs on justjared.com to give us the heads up on who Amy Schumer is dating. really appreciate it.

Us Fags knew about it weeks ago when it was on Bravo's website: http://www.bravotv.com/blogs/is-amy-schumer-new-boyfriend-chef-chris-fischer

I prefer this article because it highlights the bloated arm fat like a leg of lamb and her boyfriend's A cups and gut which rival Opie's tits.

"The jokes write themselves"

Maybe she can use them in her next act, since we all know she prefers to not use original material.

That's like Artie Lange dating a drug dealer.

or Jim Norton dating a tranny

Boyardee is going pigging, huh?

"...spotted on a dinner date..."

yeah, what is she dating him for the steak or something?

She's not Bob Kelly

Um.... uh... wait wait... is she gonna eat all his food or somethin?

"Chris reportedly is the brother of Amy‘s personal assistant!"

If the genders were reversed this would be considered sexual abuse

LAY OFF HER, SHES STARVING!!!!!!

The first funny thing she's done in years

Chef boyar-you fat!

This is great. Amy is in that early-downfall time where people are just reporting on trivial shit because they still for some reason feel echoes of her prime. You're gonna see some more boring nonsense until she drops off completely.

I just want to point one thing out. She is doing theatre. Don't get me wrong the world's best actors and actresses started in theatre early in their careers and there are life long theater actors and actresses that are famous for it. BUT. No one goes from movie theatre's back to Broadway on their own accord. This women went from potential comedy royalty to a brief A lister to afternoon show on Broadway... Just saying.

I bet she will eat a lot..... she is fat.

I hope he makes a sex tape and releases it on this subreddit. 🐖👨‍🍳🎥✔️.

She went from dating Dolph Ziggler when she was just a little chubby to this?

If there's a God, she'll be living under a bridge blowing hobos for cheeseburgers before the next presidential election.

She looks like the young version of old Kathleen Turner in that thumbnail. Maybe it's different in full sized pictures, I couldn't say, I don't have enough hard drive space to see one.

The jokes have always written themselves

Chris reportedly is the brother of Amy‘s personal assistant!

You know the assistant got tired of seeing amy on the couch eating a big bowl of ice cream going, "I just can't seem to find the right maaaan. But whyyyyy". So she said fuck it, I'm gonna have to go into desperation mode and set her up with my brother.

Girls got to eat.

What about Amy's hit audition for Simon Cowell?

♫ "I ate a pie then raped a guy"

"Stole some jokes, then ate some chicken" ♫