How is his nose even real?

45  2017-10-30 by RBuddCumia

153 comments

HA CHA CHA CHA CHA

He literally has a clown nose now

"I'd gladly pay you Tuesday, for some heroin today".

I read this as cow nose

How, retard?

Because the word clown has all the same letters as the word cow, and if you read it in passing at a glance, you don't notice 2 extra letters.

Need help with anything else, faggot?

No, I want to hell you with your dyslexia! You know, there are government programs that can help supply you with those special glasses and reading lessons.

That was an awful reply

Fuck, I just wanted your approval.

Can you help me workshop it?

The fact that you had to edit in the "approval" part is admission that you knew that reply wasn't good enough.

Awww, dyslexic and unable to perceive tone. You must be a whiz on that Tinder, huh?

Now you think you're Jim Norton attacking a caller? No one thinks you're clever or witty if you're going to snake the way someone tries to poke fun.

Here's another explanation you need, glancing over a word and thinking it's another word with the exact same letters isn't dyslexia, and typing it out a 3rd time isn't making anyone laugh.

I don't know what you mean by Jim Norton, I just think that seeking help for your dyslexia will probably help you deal with your anger.

No, you knew what I meant and you choose to ignore it because it was too accurate and you lost confidence in your faggy little nit-picky online squabble.

You think I'm angry that YOU got pissy because I typed a banal comment about the word cow and Artie Lange. But I have anger

Yes.

Holy shit, you guys are losers.

We know you're a big winner.

I like both you guys.

That's funny, I read your commentad onemancrimespree is a dumb fag.

I read your comment where you couldn't even spell "comment as"

I was trying to help you read it by typing in your native tongue, retarded queer.

Yes, because it's your first language and you're a professional interpreter for it.

"I know you are, but what am I?"

  • professional dumb faggot, onemancrimspree

Oh look, you're mad that you couldn't think of anything else.

Goddamn, you suck.

Another fantastic and witty line. You're a machine.

Log in with another one of your accounts to downvote, faggot.

You start arguments and then when you lose, you accuse people of stealing your little internet points, like a fat faggot.

Jimmy Durante chronic substance abuser ass nigga

Ha-cha-cha-cha-choke * drops dead *

I was so depressed I drank a cup of bleach and stabbed myself in the stomach... hot cha cha cha...

He's going to die soon. It's so painfully apparent.

OH GOD FORBID!

Knock on wood

dont even say it! madonn!

Ant will make his return on investment before that happens.

I feel like we have been saying that for a while, that he’s gonna die soon, but I really think it’ll be within like 6 months tops. Part of me wants to say before end of the year.

Coke Muuuug

Also his bathroom towels are disgusting

And his bathroom mirror is dirty

If he would switch to meth he'd have a much cleaner bathroom.

He could also, a heh heh heh, uh, walk, a heh, to St louis in merely a single evening

It's not like he's using them to dry his washed hair more than once a month.

don't be so elitist.

Oh my gaawh, that’s sooooo groaty...

Why does he have a coat rack for towels too?

Give him a break he was only making "900 grand" a year with Howard plus "50 grand" for weekend gigs.

Does he actually show up for that AA show or whatever they're calling it? I haven't paid attention to Compound Media in awhile.

He does. He takes a break mid show to piss blood, smoke a cigarette, and eat a candy bar, but the rest of the show he's hilarious.

Today they have Lisa Lamponelli and Brian Regan on.

Brian Regan is too good of a guest for Ant.

I think he's just too good of a guy to say no to him.

Dude, that's not good. Isn't his nose swelling up like that some sort of symptom of major liver/kidney failure?

It's a symptom of ingesting cocaine and heroin, regardless of quality, nasally and without interruption for 3 decades.

I'm glad I smoke my consumables, my lungs are (for now) on the inside.

Right? I look like I have my shit together but deep inside I'm an insecure dweeb ready to explode at any moment... Luckily you need to really get to know me to see that part, and thank god I'm a social outcast who's incapable of holding a conversation with a stranger for longer than 2 seconds. I'm all good. Fuck Artie, amirite fellas?

erm, not sure THAT was my point. Are you in the midst of a breakdown sir?

I was just being sarcastic, hard to pull off when you're speaking to a group of people who for the most part have autism.

being sarcastic

was you?!

Pretty fuckin sure you didn't just pull that emotional vomit out of thin air.

How retarded are you?

How emotional are you?

Not emotional enough to post on reddit every hour of every day for the most part . . . In case I have to point it out for ya', that wasn't sarcasm.

I wish you'd point a handgun at your temple.

I had a cousin that was pretty much the same way and fool swelled up multiple times and multiple places on his body before he died. It's inevitable folks

Is heroin as bad for your nose as coke? I always thought it was the abrasiveness, but somebody explained that it had something to do with blood not flowing right and the tissue dying?

I'm not a big fan, but it's sad to watch a guy who is not long for this Earth. And then when they go it's not a shock (like with Tom Petty), it's more of a surprise. I can't think of a good celebrity example. I had one in my family. Addiction is a motherfucker.

Liked a few songs but never read into Petty's personal life, and haven't read a single obit. Was his death not a shocker?

I may have phrased it poorly, it shocked the hell out of me. And since it's come out he went through heroin addiction in his 50s and was supposedly touring with a cracked hip, I will not be shocked if he OD'd. But that one shocked the hell out of me, and hit me way harder than I expected.

Eddie Van Halen is probably 10 years into borrowed time. When he goes, that is really going to hit me hard.

What's been Eddie's drug of choice? I'm totally ignorant to Van Halen too.

Supposedly sober since he went to rehab mid-tour in 2007. He was a alcohol and coke guy. He explained once the alcohol lowered his inhibitions to where he would try new things on the guitar, and the coke just let him stay up drinking longer.

In Sammy Hagar's book about the 2004 tour, it reads like a lawyer said "you can't say he was on meth", but that was what I inferred reading the book. But I think he got past that before the 2007 tour where he still went to rehab... And missed the rock not roll Hall of Fame induction. So two guys no longer in the band jammed with Velvet Revolver. It was terrible.

But the guy had relapsed so many times... If he's seen in public it makes all the fan news sites. I understand they don't owe us anything. They're in they're 60s. Maybe he just wants to play golf... But I have never seen a band do a worse job communicating with their fans.

Heroin isn't as acidic/corrosive as coke is, it kinda depends on the kind of heroin though, like black tar(which you can't snort unless you turn it into a liquid) is really acidic and fucks up your veins/nose really fast compared to the powder that you see in the north east and east coast

I'm an addict as well and if i were Artie with the kind of money he has I'd either have a doctor who is on my personal pay roll and at my every beck and call like Michael jackson who is not only keeping me alive/safe & either supplying me with pharmaceutical opiates which would overall be healthier than snorting god knows whats in that dope he gets, or i'd employ some savvy young kid or one of my lackies to order the best dope off the markets so my nose isn't blowing up like a clown nose because i just snorted whatever garbage some project yo decided to cut his dope with this week.

Is the powder you can snort lot more expensive?

Do people mostly shoot the black tar?

Are you an active addict? What's it cost you a month?

The powder isn't usually more expensive because its essentially only whats available in the area, like the north east and the east coast is known for having "ECP (east coast powder)" which usually come in little stamp bags already bagged out separately and in bundles of 10 branded with a certain names stamped on them when buying at street level. Then in the mid west and west and most border states have BTH (Black Tar Heroin) which will generally come in little balloons at the street level so dealers can keep them in their mouth then swallow them if arrested. I've been addicted for years now, never heroin, always oxycodone, most people end up switching at some point because its so much cheaper and in some cases stronger if its good dope but i dont think i'd ever switch just because i dont like most other opiates i just like oxy, i use it orally too just swallowing the pills so i wouldn't really be down to have to snort or shoot dope everyday.

Right now i am in the process of tapering myself off, i get a prescription and then supplement it by buying in bulk off the street and other people who get prescriptions, I dont even want to think about how much this shit costs me but its hundreds and hundreds a day and i dont get high anymore. I dont even wana tell you my everyday dose because ill just have a bunch of people telling me how i'm lying and theres no way i'm taking this much, i get that response when i post in the opiates sub so i cant imagine all the dumbasses i'll get here but i'll go ahead anyway. My highest daily dose right now is 28-30 30mg oxycodone pills a day, all taken in one large dose at one time right before i eat dinner at the end of the day after work and shit, i'll sit down and relax right before i make dinner or just after i made it and am waiting a few min to get high and eat. I know it will seem unbeleiveable to people that i'm taking 850-900mg of oxy in one sitting and barely even feeling it/not getting high anymore and i realize its rediculous which is why i'm trying to quit and taper off which for me after years and years of this every day it seems so alien to try and live my life totally opiate free.

Good luck. I have my own issues, but it makes opiate use seem cool.

How did it start? Some sort of back surgery?

/u/drsteve comment?

uhhhhh buildup of fluidddddddddddddds in the nasal cavity.

Rhinoprognosis. It’s a condition where uhhhh ahhhhhh cock and balls and shit fuck

Didn’t you hate when Dr. Steve mixed technical doctor talk with profanity? My ears aren’t dumpsters, doc.

(I love dr. Steve)

Yeaaah aaah I concur with your diagnoseeehs. Lots of flueeehds seepin thruuu....

uhhh vericose veins with seepage

saaaa sa saaaa its like a watah ballon or sumpthin

Dr. Chip was the best.

/u/drsteve103 comment?

no no no. he just has slightly high blood sugar levels, which is bad for his diabetes.

Its probably just some kinda infection

I can't even feel my own nose

I wanna see the bloat movie

I should mow my lawn once more this season.

He really lived fast and couldn't figure out how to die young

You are a hallucination! Brought on by Russian vodka! Poisoned by Chernobyl!

Lookin like a big ole turnip on dat mug

He looks like an elephant seal.

Thought this was photoshopped.

Christ almighty. Clean your mirror, you degenerate junkie.

Pretty obvious that's photoshopped.

He's got the fucking muppet nose. Looks like Ernie minus the optimism.

Hes gone full fraggle rock

It’s about to snap off any second

Lady Di nose

Alcoholism

He must go to the same plastic surgeon that Anthony does.

With all the silica he's inhaled, its practically made of fiberglass at this point

Get some antibiotics nshit dat nose infected as a muug, nigga got an abcess in his nasal cavity

Thanks for reminding me, I haven't showered in three days.

The fact that he won’t die is almost like a cruel joke at this point

Unmade and Velcro shoes beside it

My home is nicer than his.

Some are big and some mismatched

Nostrils that look very strange

WEIRD NOSE!

Sad!

Heroin and glass cocaine

Makes a nose look very strange

Weird Nose

Holy shit.... He used to look like this:

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1497629.1382831196!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_750/57595752.jpg

There's no way he's going to make it to christmas of next year.

No. That's a hot blonde. He's the guy on the right.

Still looks 100x better than he does now.

He's a guy why do I care how much better he looks?

This whole post is about how he looks like shit at on the verge of death... So why are you commenting here? You fag.

I'm the one who doesn't care about how he looks yet I'm the gay one?

Suuuuuure.

you seem very concerned about not looking gay

Do I? Because I don't care about Artie's looks?

honey are the boys being mean to you again?

They keep trying to get me to play their game called Monster Rain.

Wow. I love her.

Relax. Artie went to Ant's Halloween party as the clown from IT.

I'm afraid he's got some kind of infection in there now. Scary.

Post-op swelling looks just like this. He did mention he was planning on corrective surgery for the septum collapse.

Shittttt he’s gonna die

That’s honestly terrifying. Why would he agree to do a video podcast

Because he needs money for his heroin habit?

Keith does really, really, really bad reference checks.

Why not just smoke heroin and crush adderall pills in your mouth? Stop snorting all that shit.

Girls will still fuck him, because he's famous, and women are really stupid.

And then #MeToo

If this isn't the universe trying to tell him to stop putting shit up your nose I don't know what is.

at this point why wouldn't you inject the heroin? lol that's a nose that collapsed twice

Seriously. He's gonna die anyway, knock off the pussyboy "I don't like needles" shit and slam it. It'll probably get him higher than he's been in 20 years.

I seriously didn't know heroin could be snorted. Now I know why most people don't get it in through the nose

Yeah it's amazing he's lasted this long. Should just got all out now, he's passed the point of no return.

Nigga got a snout

I think he's turning into a clown. Next his hair will turn green.

Dead by Christmas.

Somebody teach my dude how to use a needle please

I believe him when he says he fucked it up by snorting glass by accident but the reason it keeps swelling up like this is because he continues to snort Heroin and Cocaine.

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He'll be dead soon

After his failed suicide, he see-sawed between wanting to get clean and saying "fuck it, I'm just gonna go full blast til I die."

Glad to see he finally made his decision. Sad.

Off the top of your head, can you name any public figures who took that route as publicly as Artie?

30 years of coke

WC Fields would disgusted at Artie's nose

It'll take an hour just to scrub that nose.

he's starting to look like Gaddafi before they raped him with a stick

Has Artie’s humor always been “States a reference to a current event and pretend that’s funny”

Tolkein wrote of such creatures,but until now I dismissed them as myths. >shudder

Mr. Potato head lookin ass

Bozo called, he wants his snoze back.

This whole post is about how he looks like shit at on the verge of death... So why are you commenting here? You fag.

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Is the powder you can snort lot more expensive?

Do people mostly shoot the black tar?

Are you an active addict? What's it cost you a month?

The powder isn't usually more expensive because its essentially only whats available in the area, like the north east and the east coast is known for having "ECP (east coast powder)" which usually come in little stamp bags already bagged out separately and in bundles of 10 branded with a certain names stamped on them when buying at street level. Then in the mid west and west and most border states have BTH (Black Tar Heroin) which will generally come in little balloons at the street level so dealers can keep them in their mouth then swallow them if arrested. I've been addicted for years now, never heroin, always oxycodone, most people end up switching at some point because its so much cheaper and in some cases stronger if its good dope but i dont think i'd ever switch just because i dont like most other opiates i just like oxy, i use it orally too just swallowing the pills so i wouldn't really be down to have to snort or shoot dope everyday.

Right now i am in the process of tapering myself off, i get a prescription and then supplement it by buying in bulk off the street and other people who get prescriptions, I dont even want to think about how much this shit costs me but its hundreds and hundreds a day and i dont get high anymore. I dont even wana tell you my everyday dose because ill just have a bunch of people telling me how i'm lying and theres no way i'm taking this much, i get that response when i post in the opiates sub so i cant imagine all the dumbasses i'll get here but i'll go ahead anyway. My highest daily dose right now is 28-30 30mg oxycodone pills a day, all taken in one large dose at one time right before i eat dinner at the end of the day after work and shit, i'll sit down and relax right before i make dinner or just after i made it and am waiting a few min to get high and eat. I know it will seem unbeleiveable to people that i'm taking 850-900mg of oxy in one sitting and barely even feeling it/not getting high anymore and i realize its rediculous which is why i'm trying to quit and taper off which for me after years and years of this every day it seems so alien to try and live my life totally opiate free.

Good luck. I have my own issues, but it makes opiate use seem cool.

How did it start? Some sort of back surgery?