r/opieandanthony: (Video) Mrs Chippersons rack

But every once in a while, you'd meet a 'diamond in the rough.' My favorite, of all time, was the girl that had me fist her on the very first date. Even when I had my forearm buried in her vagina, I couldn't believe it was happening.

I never saw her ever again. The next day I found out The Rest of The Story, basically she was pissed off at her boyfriend and she was looking to get violated by the first idiot she could find. I was that idiot.

1 Whydontulovemelynsi 2017-10-23

my dick is way too small to ever be fuckin around with a bitch who likes shoving wine bottles up her snatch

1 majestik6 2017-10-23

It was one of the weirdest things I've ever experienced. She dilated her vagina like she was giving birth. I don't know how she did it, but it slid right in. My fist is over 4" in diameter. Google says that the average cock is 1.5" in diameter.

So that's the equivalent of about eight cocks in her vagina simultaneously

1 doodoopeepees 2017-10-23

Pm a nigga, i wont snitch

1 Whydontulovemelynsi 2017-10-23

Did you fuck her with your dingaling after?

1 majestik6 2017-10-23

Here's the "extended version" of the story:

I'd been meeting girls on Yahoo Personals for a couple years. It had really ruined my expectations, because when I started out, I was looking to date someone attractive, but after a couple of years in the trenches, I was ready to settle for just about anything.

So when an attractive woman was eager to meet me, I assumed I was being catfished. (It wouldn't be the first time.)

But I went anyways.

When I showed up at the bar, I figured there was a good chance that I'd get stood up. (If it's not obvious, online dating had just crushed my expectations by this point.)

But lo and behold, there she was, and she was hot.

I didn't really feel like we were "vibing," but I took a chance and asked if she wanted to go back to her place. Much to my surprise, she said yes.

The whole thing felt weird. I didn't get the vibe that she was "into me", but she was obviously DTF.

After I finished having sex with her, it crossed my mind:

This is the hottest girl you've ever met online, and she isn't into you. God only knows why she fucked you, but you're never going to see her again.

So I grabbed another condom and went for a second round. I needed plenty of time to recharge my batteries, so I was going down on her.

I started with one finger, then two fingers. Then I said "YOLO" and went for three fingers.

Then she said the sentence I'll never forget for as long as I live:

"Go ahead and put it all in."

Her vagina dilated like she was giving birth, and the next thing I know I've got half my forearm buried in her vag.

It was super fucking weird. I don't know how she dilated her vagina like that. I don't know what "switch" she flipped.

But I'm sure glad I stuck around for a second round.

The next day I'm sitting in my office in my dumb white collar job, and she calls me up and explains that she has a boyfriend and has all these regrets about what she did, blah blah blah

1 TotallyNotObsi 2017-10-23

Just post the pics weirdo

1 co_ay 2017-10-23

This is the one funniest responses Ive read on this sub

1 KangolVos 2017-10-23

Good for you. She says she regrets it, has a boyfriend, and you get away clean. Except for your hand.

1 Hold_My_Brush22 2017-10-23

That was beautiful.

1 hard_to_explain 2017-10-23

Well you certainly are an idiot with the way you randomly capitalize words

1 assreaper 2017-10-23

Fellow old fuck here. Rest of the story was an old Paul Harvey radio bit.

1 sjeffiesjeff 2017-10-23

This is great in theory. Until you're with her and it's real. You'd want to blow your fucking brains out.

1 asmit378 2017-10-23

Where the fuck is she always driving

1 DaveNone 2017-10-23

If she only had a cock she'd be Jims dream woman.

1 thissiteruinedme 2017-10-23

"My rack, get it? Tsss, my rack" [Thud thud] "Guess we're right outside Walmart."

1 senselessdegenerate 2017-10-23

Yeah cuz she hit the wall or sumpthin

1 Opprobriousness 2017-10-23

You think she ever wakes up and wonders "What the fuck am I doing?"

1 zeroaiming 2017-10-23

No. Its a woman, stupid.

1 1qw1qw1 2017-10-23

if you clothes your eyes and imagine it's Rhea Pearlman it's funnier

1 DOPIEandSTANLEY 2017-10-23

What if you shoes your eyes or sumthin

1 1qw1qw1 2017-10-23

hats

1 aRTie02150 2017-10-23

Barren

1 UnwarrantedArrogance 2017-10-23

Lol she ran over a young child at 16 seconds

1 ReDMeridiaN 2017-10-23

Jim could put this girl on a dog leash and walk her around on all fours in his apartment butthole naked, but for some reason, he's decided to pine away for some 20 year old South African dude who strings him along like some kind of sucker.

If I were him, I'd PM this chick, lay down the law right away, and get down to business. I'd even have the lawyer draft up an ironclad agreement that stops just short of slavery. I mean, the sky's the limit with this broad, and he's wasting time with some 6ft capricious shemale.

1 majestik6 2017-10-23

TBH, I've tried making things work with women that 110% bonkers, and sooner or later you want to put a gun in your mouth. It's definitely fun for a while, but don't fall in love.

1 DegenerateLoony 2017-10-23

A dude in a dress is at least 125% bonkers though. No telling how THAT kind of shit will end. I'd rather break up with a crazy bitch than a crazy dude pretending to be a crazy bitch.

1 racemic_mixture 2017-10-23

Relative to jim's dating habits mrs chipperson is incredibly sane and normal.

1 PoopCockExpresse 2017-10-23

They always "want a dom" and then after the third fuck they wish you wouldn't be so mean to them and come to this totally fun work event she's having.

1 doodoopeepees 2017-10-23

He'd need to move to california so he can fuck her raw and not go to prison.

1 DildoBaggins75 2017-10-23

Well it’s because Jim Norton is gay, you see?

1 Mod_Impersonator 2017-10-23

Has anyone here tried to DM her on twitter? I might make an account just to try to bang this wacky broad.

1 sindrone7 2017-10-23

I no longer care that she's crazy

1 Faggot_Banana 2017-10-23

It wouldn't be a shame if she crashed and died having been burned alive.

1 frrunkis 2017-10-23

She has 5,856 tweets. Are they all in character?

1 ThePittWolf 2017-10-23

I would marry her

1 GableXX 2017-10-23

I'd eat her crazy butthole.

1 1073WAAF 2017-10-23

This fucking retard is so sexy.

1 loscrenshaw 2017-10-23

batshit

1 StevenIsAnAsshole 2017-10-23

I want to do love-related things to her anal cavity.

1 TunesianKnifeFighter 2017-10-23

It's almost impressive how cringey and unfunny she is....Now with that being said I would enjoy fucking her mouth.

1 UnemployedOpie 2017-10-23

That video made my skin crawl. That said, I would gladly give this lunatic a mediocre butt fucking

1 Belchides 2017-10-23

Does Jim acknowledge her? Sorry I dont listen to the new stuff.

1 urprobsmkemydicksoft 2017-10-23

hipster faggot

1 Belchides 2017-10-23

Hey im not a hipster

1 TinOwl_Twitch 2017-10-23

Probably a funnier producer than any so far.

1 Slothjew 2017-10-23

This lady is a fucking wack job and I love it

1 hookahreed 2017-10-23

That phone thing was pretty funny.

1 Whydontulovemelynsi 2017-10-23

check out this one

https://twitter.com/lufayelu/status/913557539635306496

https://twitter.com/lufayelu/status/915934686576304128

https://twitter.com/lufayelu/status/909801044984700928

https://twitter.com/lufayelu/status/896178575556083714

https://twitter.com/lufayelu/status/897847649759625218

chip could be fucking gorgeous chip fans, but first he has to drop the dislikable jim norton character

1 BoongChook 2017-10-23

These tweets are protected dude.

1 Whydontulovemelynsi 2017-10-23

i dunno why i can see them then, you must be a noted sexual predator

1 BoongChook 2017-10-23

All good she just accepted my follow. She sent me an uncensored pic of her cootah as an apology.

1 3stepsbackward 2017-10-23

Just think: Jimmy could be fucking her, if he wasn't so obsessed with falling in love with strange men that wear women's clothing on chaturbate. He could even father her children and teach them how to be a man.

1 Misterbrownstone 2017-10-23

G'won nah and get this bitch on the podacast

1 AngeloMacon 2017-10-23

She's funnier than the dumb blonde this week.

1 sickfuckinpuppies 2017-10-23

Ive never cringed this hard while getting any erection

1 deep_legal_shit 2017-10-23

lobotomize all women upon birth, send them into sex and housekeeping slavery

1 dougfunny86 2017-10-23

Has Jim/Chip even ever acknowledged her?

1 maynardsabeast 2017-10-23

She's hot but she's also embarrassing the fuck out herself. This is all the proof in the world you need that hot chicks are the most privileged people on earth. She should be berated and publicly shamed for this and instead were all fawning over her

1 yismeicha 2017-10-23

Us if us who's dicks aren't working properly at the monent see right through this embarrassing shit.

1 doodoopeepees 2017-10-23

Shes a civilian dude, not a comic we can't have her on our hang. She won't get it.

1 racemic_mixture 2017-10-23

I admire her dedication and her cootah.

1 Dassadassabesdoe 2017-10-23

I want to marry this loon.

1 uralldiseased 2017-10-23

Jim has most likely contacted her

1 UnemployedOpie 2017-10-23

He's gay

1 Skivsamlaren 2017-10-23

She has most likely contacted him then.

1 TacoTrots 2017-10-23

If Jimmy wasn't such a monumental faggot, he could easily be doing all sorts of wonderful things to this dirty bird.

1 cstack18 2017-10-23

They're built for speed.

1 liesalotguy 2017-10-23

Oh dear god.

1 Chuck_Chasem 2017-10-23

Jim doesn't know when to take a him, does it?

He prefers the mentally ill, but of the same sex. Why not go for a real woman and start a dysfunctional family.

Maybe he'll turn into Uncle Paul after he molests his own kid.

1 J2daEWW 2017-10-23

Someone needs to get her to do an AMA here

1 Holdontoyabutt 2017-10-23

Does anyone know if she's aware of this magnificent/malicifent place?

1 i_saw_nothing 2017-10-23

She's wonderfully dedicated to Chippah and the best kind of crazy.

Unfortunately for her, she doesn't have a feminine enough penis for Jim.

1 Showerbeersx 2017-10-23

The perfect girl, real stupid.

1 alobesmooth 2017-10-23

More likes/retweets than any Opie video. Fat fuck might wanna take out those floppers for a viral vid

1 Nah_Ming 2017-10-23

Anyone who thinks Chin Chinnerson is hotter than Mrz. C is a fag. I want to drink this bitch's bathwater.

1 SpaceVC 2017-10-23

Why isn't Jim fucking this clearly insane bitch?

1 fyisah 2017-10-23

The mental illness makes it even sexier!.

1 chaffednut 2017-10-23

People saying she is funnier than Gabby are completely missing the point. If you think you want this chick on as a regular, you're fucking retarded. It would be funny once.

She is about as funny as when anyone you fags do Chip.

1 InHell1979 2017-10-23

I guess I'd bang her...

1 cultofcopenality 2017-10-23

Her arms are too hairy

1 OnlinePolice 2017-10-23

This bitch is downright batty. I love it

1 UnitedStates_America 2017-10-23

She's a rube

1 tranthonycumiashow 2017-10-23

She needs to be fucked until her tits fall off.

1 malvin77 2017-10-23