Patton Oswalt Story

135  2017-10-21 by unclepaul84

I'm at a bar last night talking with strangers. The conversation of comedians come up and somebody mentions Patton Oswalt. This girl says "Is that the weird looking guy from King of Queens who murdered his wife?". I said yes and everyone nods their heads and nobody involved in the conversation question if he really murdered the wife. I later ask the girl if she ever listened to O&A and she said she never heard of them. This made my night.

38 comments

1  WhippingHuskies 2017-10-21

Hahaha. I read several posts on reddit discussing the brutal spousal murder and subsequent cover up of Patton's wife. Followed by many Chip replies. I thought this sub had no impact on people's lives.

1  Lasagna_Hat 2017-10-21

I think it was on Real Ass Podcast, someone asked if they have seen the Patton killed his wife tweets and they all giggled and agreed it was really fucked up...but also hilarious

1  TotallyNotObsi 2017-10-21

Link

1  Lasagna_Hat 2017-10-21

I really can't remember. Maybe someone else can jump in

I want to say it was Real Ass Podcast, maybe Ian Fidance said it (he has been on like 5 times in the last 2 months tho). It's a 4 second aside and it's kinda hushed. Probably not worth the searching required

1  Toss__Pot 2017-10-21

Anth did actually recant that statement after we destroyed Samcro 'Childspit' Joe via the medium of Peoples Court.

1  fawwkyeah 2017-10-21

My friend once told me, "You know Amy Schumer sucks, I heard she steals jokes"

I chuckled internally

1  carribbeanjimmy 2017-10-21

This sub has no affect on people's lives!

1  aTwinkForFez 2017-10-21

best to stay on this subs good side like Colin and Joe Derosa

1  onemancrimespree 2017-10-21

Our subversive work on other reddits and other websites is starting to work.

I overheard two women talking about Amy Schumer, they were trashing her latest special. I was shocked.

The virus is spreading.

1  ArtificePink 2017-10-21

ME: I told you Anthony manipulaaates the faaawkin' haaaters to do his bidding.

1  carribbeanjimmy 2017-10-21

That could possibly be just because it sucks, but a win is a win

1  onemancrimespree 2017-10-21

How did that ever stop them from liking her and Aziz Ansari and all that hogwash, in the first place?

They are becoming aware.

1  Whydontulovemelynsi 2017-10-21

I pretty much have to say that I like Amy Schumer if I want to get a tinder slut to eat my ass.

1  Aemon12 2017-10-21

Easy bitches all idolize Amy Schumer because she normalizes being a slut. I take it as a given that a girl who's a fan of Amy sleeps with a different dude every weekend.

1  Slippery_Slope_Guy 2017-10-21

We create the culture.

1  TheDarkFezRises 2017-10-21

We control reality.

1  Captain_Howdyy 2017-10-21

The 4chan of comedy

1  wicked_crayfish 2017-10-21

More like the 4chin of comedy

1  Holdontoyabutt 2017-10-21

Ex-producer yumah

1  Muted_Post-Horn 2017-10-21

Project Nonsense

1  Anarox 2017-10-21

His name was Ian stinkerton

1  Yujiro_Hanma_ 2017-10-21

First rule of project nonsense is Opie has tits

1  deep_legal_shit 2017-10-21

it was floating around all over twitter last year, to be real w you

1  JSoupL 2017-10-21

about ten years ago i met patton oswalt at a bar. he made fun of my tattered pants (i was poor!!!) and said ching-chong. I wish his wife would publicly come to my defenses, but can't cuz he also killed her.

1  RealTonySchiavone 2017-10-21

You must be feeling really unsafe. My condolences.

1  FezWhatsWrongBuddy 2017-10-21

I'm so sorry that happened to you. As a fellow short, fat, white, wife-murdering male, I apologize FOR him.

1  cottonsweatpants 2017-10-21

metoo

1  helobious1 2017-10-21

How is your emotional health/safety?

1  InHell1979 2017-10-21

Goddamit thats funny

1  Ant_Sucks 2017-10-21

It just shows how spineless these liberal celebrities are that they can't just say what we're all thinking: "That was 10 years ago bitch, get over it. Go do some math, whore".

1  boring_oneliner 2017-10-21

It's true. I was there.

1  JuiceBusters 2017-10-21

I'm in his book. He worried I would try and kill him. I remember be worried he was the killer.

All these years later, it turns out he really was going to become the killer.

Anyways, he can fuck right off.

1  PeesaG 2017-10-21

Exactly

1  TheAmazingAsshole2 2017-10-21

I saw Patton Oswalt at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Vizio Soundbars in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

1  erockisadunce 2017-10-21

But how much of this is actually true?

1  genghiscoyne 2017-10-21

It's very old copy pasta

1  erockisadunce 2017-10-21

Well now I feel stupid....

1  genghiscoyne 2017-10-21

Conversely you could be happy that you don't didn't as much time in the internet as I do

1  Admiral_Fuckwit 2017-10-21

Talking to a girl about O&A, you definitely got your peckah sucked last night at least.

1  wicked_crayfish 2017-10-21

More like the 4chin of comedy