100% Italian with 'Joe Matarese' 013 // PATRICE O'NEAL

182  2017-10-21 by porsalin

86 comments

It's embarrassing how happy I feel when I see a new one of these posted.

If you want embarrassing you should see me in my underwear yelling into my mic in a thick Italian/jew accent. It's quite the sight.

Oh shit. Really upping the production value here.

Nice.

It'll be back to normal next one. I just had to find some way of shoehorning a Patrice episode in.

Doing the lords work, my friend.

Man that Joe Matarese has a lot of buddies in the biz.

Including dead ones apparently

What?! Patrice is dead?!

Ya kiddin

Love the Otto and George tease. Btw, didn't realize George had also passed but it stands to reason that he had a drug problem too.

Gabaghoul is funnier than it should be.

These dumb parody podcasts are better than anything he's done in his entire career.

Sneaky parallel thinking sockcucka!

Aah was bound to happen! Just glad I'm stealing from civilians and not professional comedians

I'm just tugging your clam-stuffer, champ.

Besides, judging from the views the pahhhhhhhhhhhdcast is getting, Joe is more of a civilian than anyone on this sub.

yeah these podcasts are funny but let's see porsalin pack out a bowling alley's snack bar for 30 minutes of fire

And sadly I think that's the prequisite in ditching your civilian status. You just need to do one shitty gig performing an archaic comedy routine to at least three people. Do that and you get to condescend civilians like a muuuug.

The catchphrase "Hey, it's me Joe Matarese" will live on forever, brothaman.

There is no longer such a thing as a 'podcast' in my matarese-ridden head. 'Paaaahdkeeests' on the other hand...

These are brilliant and one of the few things I still have to look forward to.

I say “welcome to ‘da paaaahd-lest”* to myself alone in my apartment too many times a day to warrant going on with my life

Go ahead

I’ll race you

I do the same, except I say "Eyyy it's me Joe Matarese, a hundred percent Italian"

It's almost as bad as when I walk around alone doing the scorch voice.

Gabagoosh!

I was saying it out loud the other day at work and a coworker turned to me and said "what?" and I just shook my head and said "nevermind". I'll never be able to explain what that means to the average person.

You're not alone. Always remember that.

I don't even listen to these, I just support them because I know it must infuriate that other Joe Matarese.

who?

Exactly. I've never stuck around Long enough to finish any of Joes actual video or audio but Porsalin had me hooked since his prank calls into that Josh guys show. I giggle like an asshole at this shit.

his prank calls into that Josh guys show

Did anything more ever come of that after his initial meltdown?

Little bits...he went live recently and took calls as a character but I was at work and missed it. Some great calls in by others though.

What's with all those downvotes on his video?

Ignore them--just the Matarese militia. Joe's wife pays her graduate students interns to troll any content that could potentially effect her future divorce settlement.

Militia? More like Matarese Mafia AH GABAGOOL OOOOOO

Dis ting of ours. We wuz masons. We built dees bridges!

Matarese is botting. Someone report him!

I genuinely think a few more are probably tired of the bit and I can't blame them. It's really hard thinking of new ways to poke fun at this guy that haven't already been said.

it's still great

Have you considered getting a woman to play his wife? Thats like 5 episodes worth of shit.

I'm don't really want to make it look like I'm trying too hard! Besides, thinking of winding them down now that joe lost the YT legal battle. I have nothing left to take from the guy.

You could take his wife.

This one stinks

Sorry man. Kind of rushed it as I have to work all weekend. Will do better!

A+ dude! (*or "mate" in your pidgin Arabic patois)

Seriously, no bullshit, no snark, you continue to outdo yourself. This podcast series is literally the best podcast going, hands down (at least for a dozen of us).

Matarese would be flattered, not litigious, if only he had a sense of humor and wasn't so medicated. 💊💊

You're a very kind gentleman

It finally jumped the shark. It was a good run.

It wasn't my best

At least you can take the criticism and not get insecure like Tits. "Another fawkin' HATERRR!!!!"

It's fair - and lets be honest, this is a fucking ridiculous thing I'm doing. The fact I'm not getting completely murdered here's a miracle.

I really am running out of ideas tbf. Should have tapped out at 12!

Bullshit.

You should do one where Matarese confronts Norton for stealing his bit by turning J&S into "Fixing Jim".

downvoted you for agreeing with him, because it was great.

just keep the old theme song

Does Joe meet baby Kuhn up in heaven too?

"I'm the real victim I got the pills to prove it" lol

“Ya couldnt even stay aliiive. What a faggooot.

I love the "do you ever get it when" punchlines.

Joe Matarese's Excellent Adventure rules.

Pillboy

Drix from Osmosis Jones.

you're not from America. you can't cite the Fair Use Act.

go back to Matarafrica

It was funny at the start but holy shit you can whip a dead horse. The conversation deteriorated then circled another 2 or 3 times

You've been miserable about every one of them so maybe not listen?

He's a faggot, he splits his time between here and calling people cucks in /r/TheDonald

No, I'm going to listen to all of them because hating you fuels me. You stop making them

Well at least you had a valid critique so I'll give you that. I think the minute fewer people start liking them than disliking them I'll tap out. Kind of running out of ideas anyway. And I can't judge you for a good hate listen - we all enjoy that. Sorry you didn't enjoy it though.

Don't apologize to that faggot, do more prank calls to zilch podcasts.

[removed]

I think that's the future for joe

I'm not won over by your positivity sir

I'm not trying. Just being fair. For some obscure reason you just want an argument about a dopey podcast. That's fine but I'm not your guy.

This is fucking hilarious. Outstanding, dude.

Also that Patrice line about women being like fish had a nigga. Ribs hurtin' today.

These are literally funnier than anything the real Joe Materese ever did.

His eventual death will be funnier than anything I could do tbf

Dude, do you do anything in comedy professionally? Your voice acting and writing are great. You've turned trolling a hack comedian into an entirely new character. I always look forward to these.

Nah - civilian and proud of it. I always thought I'd do OK in a writers room but stand up is the least funny delivery method of comedy to me. I'm not a good performer and my timing would probably suck in a live environment. Anyway, i love my job.

what do you do for a living?

I work in outside broadcasting. Sports and shit. I have more time off than I'm used to, hence these ridiculous things.

Please do an episode where Joe makes it big as a sports announcer.

But thanks man! I genuinely have no Idea I keep getting away with these. Every post I get anxious waiting for the barrage of 'faggots'! Appreciate the kind words though buddy.

I want to go to segregated heaven when I die. Oh, dear God, how I hope heaven is segregated.

I've put blacker guys than you in hospital

I love when Prosalin's Britishness shines through

"Eat mah food, fuck mah kids, it's all fair use" fucking killed me

dude these are brilliant. go get a job at bbc radio or something

If the community produced content like this more frequently, we wouldn't be relegatef to the slums like Heaven Patrice

Request: Just a "Joe Matarese" set.

Don't like the new intro, but keep up doing everything else right. These are great.

This was hilarious. Keep at it dude.

Your thing's pretty funny.

I don't know who Joe Matareece is. I enjoy that he can't pronounce his own name. Italian-Americans often have that problem! lol them! Funny cuz it's true!

Say "fair use" again.

etc.

i hate the new opening but this might be the best episode yet

New opening is OUT.

If you want embarrassing you should see me in my underwear yelling into my mic in a thick Italian/jew accent. It's quite the sight.

Drix from Osmosis Jones.

Little bits...he went live recently and took calls as a character but I was at work and missed it. Some great calls in by others though.