I'm stuck at a funeral for someone I never met

29  2017-10-16 by JoeCumiasCockBreath

...and the urge to write "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh peckahs" in the gay little memory book thing they've got is almost overwhelming.

33 comments

1  Bams_seed 2017-10-16

Take a selfie with the corpse

1  RBuddCumia 2017-10-16

Tss wait... I know SODOMIZE the body with your peckha or somethin

Take us out pig

1  iWhoreSchortSchorts 2017-10-16

Faawwwkkiinnn broootaaall, lets go to the phones.

1  chippersonlyle 2017-10-16

Snooooooooway!

1  Peckahnator 2017-10-16

Write it on a peice of paper and throw it in their grave, then tell everyone that it was a personal message for them in the afterlife.

1  qualitaetspfostierer 2017-10-16

your dad?

1  boring_oneliner 2017-10-16

was ist your dad?

1  JoeCumiasCockBreath 2017-10-16

"Ist" was.

1  boring_oneliner 2017-10-16

i dont know what youre talking about

1  JoeCumiasCockBreath 2017-10-16

Oh yeah? Now you know how we feel.

FAWKIN BERRIED DAT SOCKCUCKA!

1  BoongChook 2017-10-16

Walk around with your peckah out.

1  juanwayne 2017-10-16

Blast some sick fockin puppies while you fuck the corpse. Its the only logical thing to do.

1  area88guy 2017-10-16

Find a joke in the memory book and write car crash next to it.

1  Ant_Sucks 2017-10-16

Why would you go to a funeral of someone you've never met? You're like an old catholic woman.

1  JoeCumiasCockBreath 2017-10-16

GF's auntie died.

Don't read that too quickly or you'll think it says Artie (cos those words sound similar and also the idiot thing.)

1  MrFaversham 2017-10-16

Then write "beloved cunt" in the book.

1  KangolVos 2017-10-16

Do the ol' GG Allin. Pour booze in it's mouth and expose the genitals for the world to see.

1  EskimoEscrow 2017-10-16

Grab the corpse's hands and sing "Ahh cha chaa"
If someone tries to stop you, bawl uncontrollably until they back off

1  Slothjew 2017-10-16

Just leave

1  yismeicha 2017-10-16

Then he won't get some cootah.

1  all_copacetic 2017-10-16

I advise that you make a scene. Start wailing "Where are his glasses? He can't see without his glasses!" and try and throw yourself in the grave. Report back to us with how it went.

1  NGJimmy 2017-10-16

What an opportunity to punch a corpse in the face.

1  SayntJ 2017-10-16

Go hit on the widow. Make your opening line “Nothing gets you over the last one like the next one!”

1  Whydontulovemelynsi 2017-10-16

Open fire on the crowd and when you get to your last victim just give him a big grin and say "haaaaah, just kiddin"

1  84Heel 2017-10-16

Lean over and whisper loudly into the corpse's ear "don't worry, we'll cut this part out" and then honk her breasts.

1  throwawizzlemahnizzl 2017-10-16

Rest in peckahs

1  VeganVoracity 2017-10-16

Just be a fucking human being for once in your shit life. Someone is dead, do you understand the finality of that? I'm sure other people around you never met the deceased and they are doing a good enough job of feigning upset, man up. Not everything you do in your personal life has to be fodder for this terrible subreddit. But also though, do little Chip riffs in your head during each speech. "He was a good man" "YEAH WAIT, GOODMAN, WAS HE RELATED TO JOHN OR SOME SHIZNIT?".

1  iHaveOpieTits 2017-10-16

Fawkin homerun!

1  CommodorePawsey 2017-10-16

I have the sudden desire to learn you've never met Lena Dunham.

1  Dent_Arthurdent 2017-10-16

Is it for a little dead toddler? If yes, try to get everybody dance along to "The Chicken Dance". ♪Da da da da da da da, da da da da da da da, da da da da da da da CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP♪

1  JoeCumiasCockBreath 2017-10-16

I hear ya.

1  wicked_crayfish 2017-10-16

Take your dick out get all the cooters all wet N shit, be like a fucking skatin rink in that mug.

1  Billyassman 2017-10-16

Stand up and yell,He was apiece of shit and walk out.

1  sanfrancisco69er 2017-10-16

Does anyone even read those things? Either way fuck it, write it, if youre still there 21 hours later

1  swiftmg 2017-10-16

Tell everyone there you were their gay lover