geez if thats the size of the soundbar he was trying to steal, wtf was he thinking? Did he try to slide it up his sweatpants leg and pretend he had a limp
If a scarred up, noseless black man came running by you with a shopping cart stuffed with this box and a kid, you probably would just step aside and call the police anyway.
I heard a radio show where they took calls from shoplifters.
My favorite store was a dude that stole a KAYAK.
He explained that everyone steals booze and electronics, so that shit is tagged. No one expects you to walk to the sporting goods section and walk out with a kayak.
And they're one of the most expensive items in the entire store.
I heard it on the Rick Emerson show. He was on the same station as O&A in Seattle. But this was 17 years ago. I remember the caller named the store they ripped off, a place called "Fred Meyer." Seattle is peculiar because you can buy a kayak at the same place you buy groceries.
You know, it's funny you posted this because, as luck would have it, someone from this sub recently stole a Vizio and ended up getting his kid killed in the process. Very ironic, I'd say.
The original post was what was ironic, a sort of "dramatic irony" where the audience (us) knows the real story but the character (what he's playing) doesn't, so it's entertaining.
The only thing this guy replying was doing was being "overly literal".
Welcome to reddit sockcucka! New users are able to submit posts after 2 days. If you think your post is a fair contribution to the subreddit, message the moderators for a faster approval.
I'm back, cuntface. Until I decide Reddit is a waste of time and delete this account. Then something hilarious will happen and I'll want back in again, but I'll have to wait 48 hours. Sometimes, one of the cool mods lets me back I early when I message them sassily. SpaceEdge never does. Because he's a fag.
It's also got a subwoofer and two other speakers. I work electronics at Walmart and today I checked out all the specs on the $228.00 Vizio model. It's actually the most expensive one we have at our location.
I have no use for it but my son is constantly begging for one of those. "Daddy, daddy, I want a Vizio, daddy!" he says. His 3rd birthday is coming up, so I was thinking about getting him one. His mom keeps nagging me to buy him a car seat instead, but screw that bitch.
i remember black friday last year seeing all the white trash buying up these things like not even giving a shit if it was a actual good deal or not just thinking "oh it says 40% off i better buy it before somebody else buys thm all" fucking lemmings all of em
I heard a radio show where they took calls from shoplifters.
My favorite store was a dude that stole a KAYAK.
He explained that everyone steals booze and electronics, so that shit is tagged. No one expects you to walk to the sporting goods section and walk out with a kayak.
And they're one of the most expensive items in the entire store.
74 comments
1 FuckShitFart 2017-10-05
geez if thats the size of the soundbar he was trying to steal, wtf was he thinking? Did he try to slide it up his sweatpants leg and pretend he had a limp
1 ManiacalChrisBenoit 2017-10-05
I was under the impression that he had put it in a shopping cart, the same one his son was in, and just fled the store with it in there.
1 MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2017-10-05
Show have used the automotive section exit. They never really monitor that one.
1 ManiacalChrisBenoit 2017-10-05
If a scarred up, noseless black man came running by you with a shopping cart stuffed with this box and a kid, you probably would just step aside and call the police anyway.
1 MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2017-10-05
I'm not stopping him. He might have a screwdriver!
1 TacoTrots 2017-10-05
Those people aren’t exactly known for pulling off intelligent capers.
1 majestik6 2017-10-05
I heard a radio show where they took calls from shoplifters.
My favorite store was a dude that stole a KAYAK.
He explained that everyone steals booze and electronics, so that shit is tagged. No one expects you to walk to the sporting goods section and walk out with a kayak.
And they're one of the most expensive items in the entire store.
1 Pale_Pen15 2017-10-05
And then he got caught because he went back to the same fucking store to steal the oars. What a dumbass.
1 Thelonius16 2017-10-05
What an asshole. Kayaks use paddles, not oars.
1 Toss__Pot 2017-10-05
I steal a block'o'cheese everytime I visit da supermarkt , but I don't claim my reward points .... so we're even!
1 Pale_Pen15 2017-10-05
Also what show was that? I remember that same story but I completely forgot where
1 majestik6 2017-10-05
I heard it on the Rick Emerson show. He was on the same station as O&A in Seattle. But this was 17 years ago. I remember the caller named the store they ripped off, a place called "Fred Meyer." Seattle is peculiar because you can buy a kayak at the same place you buy groceries.
1 Pale_Pen15 2017-10-05
This was incredibly recent which means the guy was telling someone else' story as his which means it must've been Jay Mohr
1 marrio91 2017-10-05
Oh so he remembered the to buckle the child seat the FIRST time.
1 Zazz_Lacker 2017-10-05
While making Three Stooges noises, I'm sure.
1 StuntPeckah 2017-10-05
Obviously, he was thinking "Oh my God, I've gotta have that audio bar! I was gonna wait till Jr.'s mom took him back but, fuck, I'm right here!"
1 late_50s_why 2017-10-05
he actually planned it ahead, even read reviews on reddit etc.
1 gunstore 2017-10-05
This one made me laugh
1 Thomas_Dairy 2017-10-05
You know, it's funny you posted this because, as luck would have it, someone from this sub recently stole a Vizio and ended up getting his kid killed in the process. Very ironic, I'd say.
1 TossyMcSalad 2017-10-05
the cia actually framed him
1 throwawaymanthrows 2017-10-05
It's not ironic it's coincidental. Get a dictionary you boob.
1 thissiteruinedme 2017-10-05
No, its irony. A coincidence would be someone who was also looking for one or who also killed their kid.
1 FlashVirus 2017-10-05
tss looks like a vizio soundbar to me not an iron knee but whatevah u say.
1 dmix 2017-10-05
The original post was what was ironic, a sort of "dramatic irony" where the audience (us) knows the real story but the character (what he's playing) doesn't, so it's entertaining.
The only thing this guy replying was doing was being "overly literal".
1 beleca 2017-10-05
The explanation made it funnier
1 dmix 2017-10-05
agreed, I felt it wasn't wordy enough
1 Toss__Pot 2017-10-05
you pair have comedy anemia: an Irony Deficiency.
(booo!)
1 faustok 2017-10-05
too smart for chip
1 Toss__Pot 2017-10-05
or summet. tss
1 Single_Action_Army 2017-10-05
"Thomas_Dairy," is Knickers impersonating Daly?
1 aleon33 2017-10-05
fuck you for knowing who either of those people are
1 Thomas_Daly 2017-10-05
I hope it's Knickers hes my biggest fan.
1 SKARx317 2017-10-05
Ohhhhh literal u/Thomas_Dairy
1 gregorio_ilidivich 2017-10-05
That's a big box. Perhaps the most significant tragedy is the box fort that child missed out on.
1 PaintedPicture 2017-10-05
Could use as a casket.
1 Dennyislife 2017-10-05
I spat my vodka out reading this
1 StuntPeckah 2017-10-05
"vodka"
1 TacoTrots 2017-10-05
That’s gotta be code for cum.
1 ManiacalChrisBenoit 2017-10-05
Vodkum?? wakka wakka
1 [deleted] 2017-10-05
[removed]
1 AutoModerator 2017-10-05
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1 PoopCockExpresse 2017-10-05
I'm back, cuntface. Until I decide Reddit is a waste of time and delete this account. Then something hilarious will happen and I'll want back in again, but I'll have to wait 48 hours. Sometimes, one of the cool mods lets me back I early when I message them sassily. SpaceEdge never does. Because he's a fag.
1 commissarjb 2017-10-05
How old are you? I know a man who is currently in the market for slightly aged spit.
1 EskimoEscrow 2017-10-05
Yeah man can I get that? I'm going to a tiny funeral and I need a gift.
1 aRTie02150 2017-10-05
Does it come with a child seat?
1 lemskroob 2017-10-05
Child coffin sized. nice.
1 PMmeyourbetakeys 2017-10-05
Whoever came up with this viral campaign for VIZIO deserves a raise.
1 iHaveOpieTits 2017-10-05
Are you really giving that away? Cuz I want it.
1 antsanigger 2017-10-05
This cunts only been on here for 23 days ,therefore I have dibs.
Seriously though,Ill take it.
1 iHaveOpieTits 2017-10-05
I've been here since Ant got fired but this is my fifth account.
1 jasim18 2017-10-05
I'll trade you a baby corpse for it.
1 ManiacalChrisBenoit 2017-10-05
How fresh?
1 carribbeanjimmy 2017-10-05
Only been stepped on once!
1 StuntPeckah 2017-10-05
You're kidding, right?
1 piggyboi 2017-10-05
Man, I would absolutely kill for one of those!
1 WhiskeynPeanutbutter 2017-10-05
I've got the same sound bar and managed to keep my little squirt in one piece before, during, and after purchase....that's how us white folks parent.
1 Lish_fips89 2017-10-05
I'm really out of the loop. What is the whole story behind the Vizio sound bar?
1 Dassadassabesdoe 2017-10-05
I have a dead kid I'm willing to trade for it.
1 Toss__Pot 2017-10-05
I got a kilo of dope, that's 4 sound bars
1 onamods 2017-10-05
wouldnt it be funnier if he was stealing the soundbar as a gift for his son?
1 i_saw_nothing 2017-10-05
You're a generous and thoughtful man, Chris Benoit.
1 buttholebrigade 2017-10-05
Do you require the blood of my first born son? I heard thats the going rate for a Vizio Soundbar
1 Zazz_Lacker 2017-10-05
Why is it shaped like that
I thought a sound bar would be...bar shaped.
1 deathbirdstories 2017-10-05
It's also got a subwoofer and two other speakers. I work electronics at Walmart and today I checked out all the specs on the $228.00 Vizio model. It's actually the most expensive one we have at our location.
1 sanfrancisco69er 2017-10-05
I wont bore you with the explanation but man, this could have came in really handy a few days ago.
1 ManiacalChrisBenoit 2017-10-05
Well shit. Don't I feel bad now.
1 Joemomma101 2017-10-05
How was he planning on getting away with stealing something that big?
1 ManiacalChrisBenoit 2017-10-05
Maybe he's used to hiding big packages on his person, if you get my drift...I'm saying the guy has a huge fffawkin' pecka! DVV DVV
1 Anthonysnewcohost 2017-10-05
/u/killakuhn comment?
1 Nah_Ming 2017-10-05
Look like he's ignoring you. What a douche.
1 fervt 2017-10-05
I'd kill for that.
1 lelgimps 2017-10-05
I'll drive right over!
1 beleca 2017-10-05
I have no use for it but my son is constantly begging for one of those. "Daddy, daddy, I want a Vizio, daddy!" he says. His 3rd birthday is coming up, so I was thinking about getting him one. His mom keeps nagging me to buy him a car seat instead, but screw that bitch.
1 beleca 2017-10-05
Can it be assembled without the use of a screwdriver? I lost mine recently
1 KuukerinNelli 2017-10-05
Send it to the mother now that she's without her son, man and a soundbar he promised her.
1 chippersan 2017-10-05
i remember black friday last year seeing all the white trash buying up these things like not even giving a shit if it was a actual good deal or not just thinking "oh it says 40% off i better buy it before somebody else buys thm all" fucking lemmings all of em
1 KingFlipeeNips 2017-10-05
Ill be right over. Just gotta put my kid in the car
1 PaintedPicture 2017-10-05
Could use as a casket.
1 MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2017-10-05
Show have used the automotive section exit. They never really monitor that one.
1 majestik6 2017-10-05
I heard a radio show where they took calls from shoplifters.
My favorite store was a dude that stole a KAYAK.
He explained that everyone steals booze and electronics, so that shit is tagged. No one expects you to walk to the sporting goods section and walk out with a kayak.
And they're one of the most expensive items in the entire store.
1 marrio91 2017-10-05
Oh so he remembered the to buckle the child seat the FIRST time.
1 Zazz_Lacker 2017-10-05
While making Three Stooges noises, I'm sure.
1 beleca 2017-10-05
The explanation made it funnier