Self-inflicted gun shot to the head.

Oooooh, probably just some good positive vibes.

I feel bad for his wife. Here I was thinking she was an MD, not some bs PhD. I figured she was raking in at least 500k a year, only to find out she's probably making no more than 200k (being generous). Given that is plenty of money, but something tells me they are spenders, considering most of Joe's issues seem to stem from frustration financially ("I gotta make a living" , etc). So perhaps he should try and sell cars or something, since he is clearly a hack.

A gun and a bullet.

Cut off his dick and stuff up it up his nose.

waterboard him until he admits hes an unfunny fraud who takes fish oils and thinks he has pill problems

Get off the adderall

we get him a well paying full-time job at a bike repair shop, so he can leave comedy behind and finally earns an honest paycheck.

He should get a regular job. Literally anything. He'd be so much happier. And make more money. And have something to do.

Don't. He'll be sexier to the broads.

They used to throw kids in the deep end to teach them to swim. Similarly, I think the way to fix Joe is to expose his adultery to his wife so she cuts him off financially and he has to get a real job. Then he'd iterally be Regular Joe.