That theres an Opie level IQ joke.

Someone made that

fawk yeh lil bit of bread yuma

That's why that sub is shit, because people actually found this funny

Helen Bergeron.

Oh, buhby you know I just love spreading laughter and mirth

Dats a fawwkin good one

Fawk yeah she's a real she-chip er sumthin, fawkin Lady Chippette er sumtin.

What's most embarrassing, is when you realise they make these little meme's themselves.

On their own YT channels they title videos, "This guy/girl does AMAZING bit about X".

That's not a meme, its an image macro.

I have autism.

Women are fucking useless.

Oh if it were only that simple...

gettin fawkin zooted off some aaaaaah sourdough or some shit rite

BA-DUM-TSH

i heard that some people drown when swimming so when someone asks me to go to the beach, i says "might as well ask me to go to join the army..cus i could possibly die there too"

women are fucking awful at everything

That's not true fella! I've found many women excel at cooking, clean and sucking a mean dick!

Women suck at cooking, which is why there's no famous female chefs. I just wanted to pop in and make everyone aware they have one less thing to claim.

hey buddy-boy, my mom is a great cook and a half decent fuck

you just like that pussy cause it's familiar. it's the Married Man's Fallacy. if you're not at least fucking your cousin you might as well be gay, really the only way to get in the black is to eat your dad's ass.

god I wish that was me...

Well unfortunately in the defense of women, they are good cooks, they just aren't good leaders or manage resources or time efficiently, which is what a chef does.

dumping a load in some whores mouth is only marginally better than beating off, and consider this sir: every douche in human history tumbled out of a cunt

Good luck finding a good looking one that ticks more than one of those boxes.

Muslim men have it right. Hide them in a closet whenever men are around and make them wear fully body curtains when they're out shopping. They deserve no validation except the fucking they get after afternoon prayer.

maybe converting isn't such a bad idea after all

No kidding, maybe we're on the wrong side

What's the downside? Not only are you now permitted to rule over women and gays but you'll actually have those idiots defending your right to do it.

eh, that dogmatic praying 5 times a day and giving yourself an arab name bleh, and all that other muzzy shite

Oh come on. Islam is fun like being a rapper. And unlike being a wigger, you are supposed to kill any one that makes fun of you

fuck there goes all my hatred for Muslims

It's tough. Words cannot express how much I hate the SJW insanity going on in the West now. Islam would seem infinitely preferable except for the extreme anti-Semitism (I know, not a popular opinion here) and hatred of gays. And their antagonism towards beer and pork. If they could just change those things, I'd give serious thought to joining.

More people die on the road than they do in the ocean. Maybe we should mull over culling cars instead of sharks or just lock them up in parks where we can go and view them.

Oh wow. A woman embracing hedonism, that totally is funny in an ironic way because it violates my expectations of a woman being a modest and proper creature...
Except it doesn't because all first-world women today are a bunch of pigs.

At least they know their audience

Proudboy thinks woman talking about toast = hedonism.

Have you ever gotten laid by being a white knight? I'm not even trying to be vindictive, I'm generally curious.

Hell yes. (I'm assuming 'white knight' is slang for rohypnol)

And when you say you're generally curious, that means you're bi-curious, trans-curious, chomo-curious, right?

Boo...

You realize ''white knight'' implies there's a female nearby which you could fuck by defending her right? There's never been any women on this sub.

I know of at least one coalburning mulatto and one old white trash lady who frequent this sub.

I consider not punching a woman in the liver as soon as they start talking about the patriarchy to be white knighting. So yes.

The reason the word cuck will never die is because of people like you, so thanks.

hedonism

nigga with his college words

Women keep acting like they're cool if they remind us they're gross dumb whores. We know. We men created art and music and movies to make you feel decent but apparently that's not good enough and we need to pretend you barfing blood out of your sloppy cunts is beautiful.

"I love animals more than people."

"I probably only swiped right on you to meet your dog."

Picture of them doing the "hair flip" water thing at the beach, picture of them in front of the stupid angel wings painted on the wall, picture of them skydiving, picture of them at Machu Pichu.

It's sick how you just described every woman on tinder. What a pathetic bunch of uninteresting people.

Even weirder, no idea why, EVERY chick in LA has a goddamn picture with Jeff Goldblum.

Goldblum plows, bro.

It's because everyone is told they're special by default. Nobody is trying to earn glory, or trying to be funnier, they just think saying "Robots! LOL" is fucking gangbusters.

Most people don't even know what funny is anymore.

It's probably the western world's biggest flaw. We've babied women into an impossibly high standard for humanity. It's why 80% of women find that their partner "isn't good enough".

Women want a man to dominate them and have higher social status than them, no matter what they say. Actions speak louder than words. Browbeaten Western beta males don't fit the description, so women don't like them.

It's because everyone is told they're special by default.

Except white men.

And that's creating a vicious cycle of racism. If you see a white man doing a job now, you figure he had to get that job by merit, and before even seeing him do anything you assume he's good at his job.

Or his dad is the boss and got him the job. Which is pretty funny.

I agree to this to a certain degree. My theory is that busting balls (and comedy in general) is based on the existence of standards. Unfortunately in a world of standards, those who can't meet the standard get hurt. Women don't like that, so our effeminate culture believes in relativism. Something as vile as Islam must be accepted because who are we to say we're the best, and if we don't accept it, it will hurt people's feelings.

She'll have a comedy central show in a year.

That joke was a fawkin touchdown like Neil O'Donnell or sumptin

MUH... BAGINA!

That's not even true though, its more like 2 slices of bread. Women also suck at math.

People like this use to be burnt at the stake

How far we have fallen

Who wants flowers, jut bring me some pizza hahahahahahaha am i right ladies?

Then they can talk about how bad they were for having pizza

The idea of someone actually laughing at that makes me really sad

Dumb bitch toast doesn't contain the alcohol needed to make you pass out then making all holes open for business

Women are funny, get over it or prepare to face rape allegations.

So commence raping?

Maybe its time to start giving them something to make honest allegations about.

Your UN makes it sound like you like to shove things inside your dickhole and it makes me cringe

See i imagine it to be a deep slit from the balls to the tip on the underside of the shaft. Your welcome.

From the scrotum? If you had a slit like that, there would be no balls held within that.

No, no, no. See that wierd line on the bottom of your dick? Just slit that and only that basically. Today you learned.

The outline of your urethra lol. Line?

Well if I'm going to get charged for might as well take it all the way

That first one is even a joke. It's a beg for "clapter". Huge in women and smug douche bag comedy scenes.

The second one could work with some deadpan delivery, like Norm's. Third too. That's the problem with this stand-up shot trend. Delivery is not included.

Is it exhausting being a male feminist?

That's all it takes to be one, huh?

I thought you'd have to be one to cackle at such bland platitudes.

I didn't cackle. Matter of fact I never found one funny female comic. But I've seen great Louis ck jokes turned into those ''shots'' and the format just drains all the comedy right out of them.

Nah you were laughing your cunt off.

What bland and literal observations.

Tss what is her name Ms Direction or sumptin

These jokes are so bad, Louis CK won't ever force her to watch him jerk off.

This is another one in this army of broads that Ive never seen do an open mic but gets booked on 3 shows a week somehow, and are about as funny as a child's cancer ward. They do 2 open mics ever, and by the 3rd one either other women that book women comics on shows book them, or other guys that just want to fuck them book them. That's why Amy Schumer was shooting a special less than 6 years into doing comedy.

It's funny because she's a cunt.

She doesn't even mention in what respect the beer and bread are the same. We're just supposed to know she's talking about calories because that's what her dumbass fatso life revolves around.

We should hook her up with that nigga Toast

How about a bleachy load to the esophagus, whats the conversion rate on that ?

FAWKIN HILARIUS!

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/saudi-cleric-claims-women-shouldnt-11219690

Where we at with the Muslim thing?

Not too far from where we're at with the Jews.

You bring the toast, baby, I got the jam ha ha ha ha... fucking a what a corny cunt.

Well I'll tell you something that definitely wouldn't be funny, if she got RAPED TO DEATH

I would never laugh at something like that happening

Just get me a bunch o' bread or somethin'. Tsss.

Hah. I laughed.

If Artie said it Ant would lose his shit.

His delivery would probably make that stinker funny.

She'll open for Norton and then have a 3 movie deal by the end of the year

Standupshots is the absolute worst sub on Reddit.

She'll be running Comedy Central in a few years.

This girl is operating in such a higher plane of existence that I don't even get this joke.

If u said this was a joke on an upcoming Chip podcast - that would be perfectly believable.

This can't be a real joke from someone's act.

Get a bunch of toast for that lil muuuug.

Literally every post in standupshots are the most unfunny drivel that usually the person doing the standup uploaded themselves as their funniest moment in a pathetic attempt to get exposure.

Fuck them all.

please tell me this isn't real.

I hope she chokes on an English muffin.

Who likes bread more than beer?

Someone made that

fawk yeh lil bit of bread yuma

That's why that sub is shit, because people actually found this funny

Get a bunch of toast for that lil muuuug.

What's the downside? Not only are you now permitted to rule over women and gays but you'll actually have those idiots defending your right to do it.

The outline of your urethra lol. Line?