But they were too delusional and self absorbed to do so. All Ant had to do was say that he didn't fuck Sue, but would have if she had a bigger peckah. Joe could have just taken then leech comments on the chin and collected his welfare check. Instead they went full Lolcow and dug a hole they can never get out of.

Now they spend most of the waking lives on guard. In Ant's case, he's reading between the lines of every tweet looking for reddit related references or jokes. And Joe is constantly trying to convince venues that the sub reddit of his brothers defunct radio show is conspiring to make him look like a racist pedophile.

To quote a less infamous black vampire: "Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill."