He fucking stinks.

i will neither confirm or deny that

Could you imagine those twinks in a sweaty ball of sinew and gay hair?

:(

@>:)

I can.

and I don't like him

Have you seen what passes as comedy these days?

I still don't think we've reached a point where WWE centric crowdwork would take off.

Have you seen James Cordon bleu on late night? Sam is fine.

A video of his popped up on my YouTube recommendations and I watched it because I have seen 0 of this queebs videos.

It was an IT parody, but IT was the IT department (get it?). Funny enough concept, but the jokes and the writing were terrible. I couldn't believe this is what passes for funny now. I also can't believe I just wrote so much about this closet gay.

he's closeted?

Yes, he's got a wife and everything

thats pretty gay

So gay.

Shit like that is the only way I can be convinced a globalist conspiracy is deliberately dumbing down society. When all your mainstream comedy shows are hokey and infuriatingly low quality yet mobs of people tune in and chuckle only because they think it's cute and they're supposed to do so.

Just go check out Rihanna, Katy Perry or any other major pop cunt right now's twitter, I swear they are part of a conspiracy pushing emojis to dumb people down.

James Cordon bleu

Ever considered stand up? Your material kills.

No it doesn't fat boy is still alive.

He can go write for Broad City

Don't you hate it when someone tries to get you to eat something different from the same shit you've been eating for 35 years?

(points to audience) This guy knows what I'm talking about.

"The brothers over here know what I'm talking bout."

"Look at him, he's laughing. He laughin cause he know."

Now how many yall like sex?

How many yall like chicken nuggets?

"I'm not like them, I EAT the coochie, okay?"

(Vos impression) "I see the sisters checking me out."

Cut to a shot of Pig Gay Oinkerson in the audience, the "guy who knows what he's talking about" who also eats like a baby

Babies don't eat half their bodyweight a day

Baby shrews eat 3x their body weight a day

Nah my ex didn't eat that much

Sam's eyes are as beady as a shrew. It all makes sense now.

What's the deal with John Cena?

Wish his mom would have considered him a dripping abortion

I would love for him to do that for like six months just so him and Jim could compete for plugs on the show.

To get a radio gig. I guess it makes sense. How many 'radio' people have radio shows

Wait stand ups are meant to be funny now? Most are not.

I mean, I found that joke pretty funny...

"Don't you hate it when your girlfriend drags you to a nice restaurant, makes you put on a shirt with buttons, and there's no chicken fingers and curly fries?"

Curly fries are too exotic to that degenerate.

The only difference between Sam and a fussy baby in a high chair is the baby has hairless knuckles and a bigger, working penis.

Just add more ketchup. Wash it down with a fruit punch gatorade because thats the only flavor he will drink (true story)

Gatorade is like health food to opie Roberts. It's coke or nothing for opie Roberts.

Nah, I'm pretty sure his wife said it once when talking about his diet.

"I mean really! What kind of dining establishment doesn't serve fish bakies and gummy cola bottles?“

So I says to the guy I says, if you don't bring me my dino shaped tendies pronto, I will make sure that wrestling fans leave bad yelp reviews.

"What's the deal with bars not selling Apple Juice?"

Turns out he's funnier than I thought

Aun-tea-fee

Hes not funny sitting down. What makes him think standing up will help?

Oh no, HE thinks hes brilliantly funny and the behind the scenes brains of the Opie and Anthony show.

Don't you hate when you get a flat tire and 911 won't come change the tire for you?

The police should have been sent to execute his useless ass.

I would have been ok with clipping with the side view mirror in the small of his back.

Who else out there has never experimented with alcohol? Beer drinkers, those guys are nuts!

during the "staff standup" wasn't same worse than everyone? Even danny?

cut that part out

Everyone but Eric was bad but Danny was by far the worst. Someone tried heckling him and instead of responding he gave a hack "well I have a mic, and you don't so I already fucking win." Like he had been a comic for years. Ant gave it a ten and laughed until his hair plugs were almost shooting out. It was repulsive

Anthony is hopelessly co-dependent when it comes to relationships, whether they be platonic, familial, or business related

But in this case it was strictly sexual.

So, familial?

And as I recall, Danny's very last joke bombed hideously. He literally walked off stage to pin-drop silence.

I like to trap female comics in a hotel room and force them to listen to me discuss the top 5 greatest ladder matches of all time.

Would rather watch Louis jerk it tbh

"Ladies here's a tip: just stay out of the man cave! We don't bother you while you're watching reality shows, so why bug us when we're in our element, cataloging wrestling VHS tapes and waiting on our plain cheese pizza delivery!"

(huge applause break)

"Deep dish, extra sauce, extra cheese and TWO cokes, please!" <makes Tim Allen man noise>

(huger applause)

i never knew i had this much anger within me

It hurts to read.

I don't understand why he doesn't get trashed more often. He did work his way up to this position but he's definitely going the path of the opster.

Nothing crazy about what he's saying. New York is absolutely flooded with unfunny people calling themselves comedians. Amazingly crowded field of talentless 20-somethings with drama degrees and no sense of humor. In New York, anyways

I hate Sam and all but that is absolutely not what he said you dunce.

Something like "It's hard to get a sucessful podcast these days. I see all these people with big podcasts and it's like, what, do I need to become a comedian or something to be sucessful?"

Fake Jews.

TO be fair, Sam is funnier than most of these cunts that call themselves "standup comedians" these days

I'm not looking for an argument. Just saying it wouldn't be that big a deal cuz Sams funnier than probably half the shitty comics that already exist

Give us some funny Sam moments

It's really when he's instigating and stirring shit up and when he's getting retarded people to do and say funny things. He's also funny when confronted by emotional people because he lacks emotion and comes off very cold. None of the things I listed above would really translate to comedy and I acknowledge that, but he's still a funnier person than probably most "professional comics"

I wish he'd come to the stage like Owen Hart did.

I considered being a Ponzi scheme manager by day, caped crusader and slayer of vagina by night, but I settle for coming here and posting shit like this.

God help us all.

Sam's lucky he hasn't been kipnapped and and dissected by a bunch of Israeli scientists for looking like a paleolithic cavejew

"You guys ever notice that The Bushwhackers walk like this, but the Nation of Domination walk like THIS?"

Nation of Domination whoop they kids, Bushwackers do timeout.

LOL maybe you should give it a shot.

Holy shit. Line of the day

It would have to be really different. I saw Anthony do standup in Montreal and he was basically just repeating some things he has said on the show but with more of a "bit" type of flow and I'm sure most of the people in the audience had heard it already because he had said it earlier that day on the show. He seemed comfortable though.

I like Sam on the radio a lot. But the stand up is a stretch. Anytime I've heard him in front of a live crowd he does not seem very comfortable.

Given his track record of becoming a radio host, with no talent, he'd probably get 4 netflix specials.

I've considered being an astronaut, what's the big deal? If he thought he'd be good at it he'd do it. Also, many good comics are not necessarily funny off the cuff, they can just get by on being good writers.

"Jim is not in today"

...and I'm not listening to Sam at all. tunes out

Is there even a market for half black, half white descendants of Thomas Jefferson?

"You know what I dont get? Real sports. I mean whats the deal with football? If there are 22 guys doing something in a stadium it better involve spandex and a cage. Know what Im sayin?"

I think he's confusing circus sideshow with standup comedy.

He'd be better than Matarese. Kind of a low bar but whatever.

"You guys know how sometimes in professional wrestling.." (The rest of this sentence is drowned out by thunderous booing)

Dedication is the most important part of being a decent comic, and Sam has proved he has a lot of that.

Just look at Vos and Mattarese. They're both morons, but with 20+ years under their belts, they can make a living.

Meh, Than took a shot at it. I don't see why Sam wouldn't have considered it when they were close.

The way comedy is going these days, that unfunny faggot might actually be successful at it.

Cocaine is a helluva' drug.

.....and then I said, I only eat chicken nuggets!

Curly fries are too exotic to that degenerate.

The only difference between Sam and a fussy baby in a high chair is the baby has hairless knuckles and a bigger, working penis.

"I mean really! What kind of dining establishment doesn't serve fish bakies and gummy cola bottles?“