Here is some stand up you wrote which I think is quite amusing:
I read recently that in just 50 years we’ll be able to have sex on tap with futuristic robots.
I say why wait? Stephen Hawking’s not getting any younger and beggars can’t be choosers.
It'd be good for people suffering with erectile dysfunction and disabled people which is nice and all, but there was an interview with a bloke who judges on Robot Wars and his comment seemed so pompous. “Like everything else,” he said, “it’s about balance.”
Presumably he’s either shagging a pilates instructor or he thinks he’s Yoda.
“Bring balance to the force, you must. Stop wanking by yourself on that seesaw or arrested you will be.”
Who knows...maybe you wouldn’t get nicked. You’d be amazed at the stuff that goes on completely out in the open, even sex crimes. Just last Friday I was walking home after 1 too many orange Bacardi Breezers and I saw a sign in a shop which, in my bleary eyed state, said “Doggy Grooming”...
"So that’s where they buy the puppies" I thought to myself.
I think it was cop custom to impale yourself with a sword after an epic failure? Or was that the gooks? I can't remember. Either way, it wouldn't have made that mess completely right, but it would have been a great start from Keith.
I thought it was cop custom to impale yourself with a sword after an epic failure? Or am I thinking of the gooks? I can't remember. Either way, it wouldn't have made that mess completely right, but it would have been a great start from Keith.
22 comments
1 segasarnold 2017-09-12
why is anthony fat and smoking? Also didnt know Ant was all in with Imperial Japs.
1 aprosbro 2017-09-12
Dont distract keith he's currently running down a bundle to aid in arties recovery.
1 segasarnold 2017-09-12
just a snort for courage
1 late_50s_why 2017-09-12
I thought you said bundle of aids
1 LiterallyCaligula 2017-09-12
"If you build it, he will come."
1 JoeCumiasCockBreath 2017-09-12
"If it's less than 9, he will come."
1 alternative_faps 2017-09-12
And if she's less than 9, it's Ant who's likely to come.
1 JoeCumiasCockBreath 2017-09-12
Please tell me you didn't just post that.
Fucking oooooof.
1 alternative_faps 2017-09-12
Oh yeah, referring to Ant as a pedophile in this sub is way outta line. GTF outta here with your fake outrage, son.
1 JoeCumiasCockBreath 2017-09-12
Oh I was hoping you weren't that thick. Tried to give you the benefit of the doubt but holy shit!
What joke do you think I was making there, sport?
Except mine said "it's" and yours said "she's..."
Given his tranny-fucking exploits and a chance to cool down...ya wanna try again, idiot?
Wow. How fucking stupid can you get?
1 Phantas_Magorical 2017-09-12
You should defo eat my cum
1 JoeCumiasCockBreath 2017-09-12
What a strange thing to pick up on when someone is revealing Vos levels of stupidity and Opie levels of arrogance.
1 Phantas_Magorical 2017-09-12
I'm a different person ya dingle
1 JoeCumiasCockBreath 2017-09-12
Yes, I can read, dude.
You still picked up on my use of the word "defo" as opposed to the aforementioned idiocy.
Does being a separate idiot to this other cunt mean I can't comment on that? Fucking hell.
1 Phantas_Magorical 2017-09-12
Boy you write too much about dumb shit, just leave it alone
1 JoeCumiasCockBreath 2017-09-12
Alright Opie.
1 Phantas_Magorical 2017-09-12
Thats the bit!!!
1 JoeCumiasCockBreath 2017-09-12
Sure it is.
1 Phantas_Magorical 2017-09-12
Here is some stand up you wrote which I think is quite amusing:
You limey fucks make it too obvious
1 JoeCumiasCockBreath 2017-09-12
Thanks for sharing. I don't do stand up but I'm confident with this genius you'll make it.
1 hSUitMSi 2017-09-12
you seriously should consider eating his cum though. it might be fun
1 ERcomedy 2017-09-12
What the actual fuck are you on about you blithering idiot?
Why are you even getting involved? If anyone has alt accounts I'd say it's you white-knighting this cretin.
1 CIAshill18081990 2017-09-12
He deleted them
1 RapistWithAIDS 2017-09-12
Lol what did he say
1 Senators86 2017-09-12
I think it was cop custom to impale yourself with a sword after an epic failure? Or was that the gooks? I can't remember. Either way, it wouldn't have made that mess completely right, but it would have been a great start from Keith.
1 Senators86 2017-09-12
I thought it was cop custom to impale yourself with a sword after an epic failure? Or am I thinking of the gooks? I can't remember. Either way, it wouldn't have made that mess completely right, but it would have been a great start from Keith.
1 LookyLookyMissCookie 2017-09-12
I liked that shirt
1 BloodyfuckinKingalux 2017-09-12
Guise, Keith ain't thin. Fat is an unexplored angle with that guy.
1 Phantas_Magorical 2017-09-12
You should defo eat my cum
1 JoeCumiasCockBreath 2017-09-12
Thanks for sharing. I don't do stand up but I'm confident with this genius you'll make it.
1 CIAshill18081990 2017-09-12
He deleted them
1 RapistWithAIDS 2017-09-12
Lol what did he say