Fucking weak, snivelling drug addict translation - "I might turn up 2 days out of 4, if I manage it." - this should be beautiful.

10  2017-09-04 by McGowan9

18 comments

His doctor already told him he has less than 5 years to live. Should make it in for a solid week or two, since he'll be doing celebratory coke, and drinking with Ant.

Three to four weeks in, he'll miss a Monday. Blame it on the road and it's fatigue.

Then the heroin starts. Which will be good for a while. Maybe 2 months. He'll be calmer. He won't wease as much. We'll hear about cheeseburgers and cocaine and the irony of his size.

6 months in, he's gotta miss Monday's and some Thursdays. Because of the road, mahhhn. Ant hates confrontation, so he'll put up with 2 or 3 day a week Artie for at least another 6 months til renewal.

Ant will extol the virtues of having freedom to do 2 solo & w/Friends shows a week. Those will be his racist shows.

Come next year, Keith has to decide whether or not to renew Artie's deal.

That's as far as my crystal ball goes.

Close to mah PECKAH

Fawk yeah, sockcucka.

It'll still be sad when Artie dies. Dvv dvv

He asked him for a second opinion. He said he was ugly too.

He doesn't get any respect, Artie.

Outside bullseye.

The heroin already started the Saturday before the first missed Monday, though.

Minor oversight. You're probably

Need to polish my crystal ball.

Or maybe Eye-talian it. Take us out ya fat fuck.

free time is great for drug addicts

The pittance Ant will be paying him wont be.

Sounds like he's really trying to convince himself that it'll go well. Anthony might as well administer Artie with heroine himself and get it over with.

"Ha he'd be falling over like Dick Van Dyke with the ottoman hahaha. Anyway, back to that shooting in Chicago over the weekend."

I would subscribe for that.

When is Podcast Sweeps Week?

Let's see how Artie handles that rush hour traffic through the tunnel during his commute home. Won't make it to Christmas.

I don't want that junkie on the road. Let him take the train to his luxurious 2 bedroom rental in Bayonne.

Isn't he supposed to be a busy stand-up? This joke unintentionally makes him look like a loser.

look ant ya know i love ya,but i goota do rOAd gigs for da money-i cant be doing your little hobby,public access thing EVERY DAY! HAHAHA COUGH..WEEZE i MEAN C'OM ON*

Har har har, boy that Artie sure is hysterical. Tell us more about your drug addict lifestyle, fat boy.