I live in the Trump Building on West 81st Street on the 11th floor.

124  2017-09-01 by Tronald_Dump_2016

My name is James Norton. I’m 49 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my sphincter is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do fourteen now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion, also on my asshole. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. I look into the mirror and contemplate, yes, they are real women. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque (tsss) which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine, recounting my celebrity photo collection as always, two-hundred and seven. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol almost ruined my life when I drank 2 beers one time when I was 14. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a James Norton. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something very wormy. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am a Peckah.

43 comments

1  NumeroOtto 2017-09-01

try getting a table at dorsia now, opie you dumb bastard !

1  bal0rd 2017-09-01

he likes the place that serves you a very expensive cake on the floor and then you get to stomp on it.

1  btm29 2017-09-01

He was into that whole Geneseo thing

1  bal0rd 2017-09-01

jump

1  senselessdegenerate 2017-09-01

DVVV DVVV DVV DVV DVV DVVVV DVVV DVVV DVV DVV DVV

1  TinKnockinMoroccan 2017-09-01

Jim looks way too old for that regimen to be accurate.

1  theropers 2017-09-01

His face may look disturbing, but he has the tender asshole of a Saudi Emir's concubine

1  Joe_Cumia 2017-09-01

Like a rapidly blinking, anorexic Patrick Bateman without any defining charisma

1  TossyMcSalad 2017-09-01

he recently moved

1  boring_oneliner 2017-09-01

"The theoretical physicist, Michio Kaku, has an apartment in my building and steps into the elevator just after me.

I press the "PH" button for him and he looks scared and terrified. He is wearing a sport coat from Uniqlo over a blue shirt got from Target, Calvin Klein Jeans and is very short as those nips tend to be.

'I really liked "being a worm", I say to him.

'Noo..noooo....issa carred "Through tha Wormwhore".' he whimpers.

'What?'

'MOVIE ISSA CARRED THROUGH THA WORMWHORE MISSA' he shouts loud and angry.

'Oh, right, of course.'

We turn away from each other as the elevator hums along. I hear this jap breathing and sweating from fear from "me big american man". Then, he slowly turns towards me.

'Youra pants breeding. Your Asswhore bleeding.,' he tells me.

I hadn't noticed it, although it is bleeding heavily and I reach for used tranny panties i use as a sniffing cloth as we arrive at my floor.

As I step into the hallway, covering my ass with the hankercheif, I hear Michio Kaku stabbing frantically at the 'Close Door' button."

1  AnnJilliansBrassiere 2017-09-01

This is a worthy post to r/nosleep

1  Every1ShouldBKilled 2017-09-01

References from the novel, nice

1  boring_oneliner 2017-09-01

Would have been a nice little scene in the movie.

1  RamonFrunkis 2017-09-01

"Used tranny panties" might be the most distasteful phrase I've ever heard.

1  boring_oneliner 2017-09-01

Sir i'll have you know that i have a great deal of respect for the transexual community, as a 5 year long member of www.ashemaletube.com

1  RamonFrunkis 2017-09-01

Fucking nailed your username.

1  Tronald_Dump_2016 2017-09-01

Vurry good

1  F_H_Rileys_MaitreD 2017-09-01

Trying to come up with a bit where Jimmy secretly envies Opie's time slot like an off-white business card with the perfect font or whatever.

1  boring_oneliner 2017-09-01

INT. TAXI- NIGHT

Jim Norton and Gregg "Opie" Hughes are in the back of a cab. Opie is drunk on 2 grapefruit beers.

OPIE

Watched my wife get a facial from Bam, which was very relaxing, then went to "Forever 16" where I bought this Puka Shell necklace.

(he starts to pass out)

NORTON

Is that Brock Lesnar's car?

OPIE

(Thickly)

Fawk, Norton. It's fine. It's FINE.

NORTON

You know, Opie, you should go to a meeting. Or call your sponsor. Some stern words from a male black hooker should get you out of this slump.

OPIE

I just want to have a breast. Just...two... perfect...tits... (His voice trails as he descends back into a grapefruit shandy haze)

The cab draws up outside a restaurant. The awning reads "F.H. Rileys."

1  KangolVos 2017-09-01

"What's your name? Gregg? Get a goddamn job, Gregg!"

1  Soflodude32 2017-09-01

"Oh thank you sirrrrr. thank you kindly, bruthamannn"

1  Ifuckmymomanddad 2017-09-01

Do you like Black Sabbath?

1  Konstrukt1 2017-09-01

Their early work was a little too bluesy for my tastes.

1  itsfalso 2017-09-01

He doesn't like them...he LOVES them

1  GhostOfJJ 2017-09-01

When Sabbath Bloody Sabbath came out in '73, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically.

1  Soflodude32 2017-09-01

don't forget sabotage, never say die, and technical ecstasy. very underrated for the timessss

1  boring_oneliner 2017-09-01

http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/American_Psycho_Harron_Turner.html

1  rahtin 2017-09-01

Almost perfect.

But only 207 celebrity photos? Maybe he only has that many signed and mounted.

He has at least 1000.

1  Nulltor 2017-09-01

Dont just stare at it ..... shit in my mouth

1  FlowbeeYourTits 2017-09-01

'I can do fourteen now'... haha

1  oanda 2017-09-01

its west 60s. but i won't get more specific than that.

1  Tronald_Dump_2016 2017-09-01

You're wrong about that address buds

1  oanda 2017-09-01

i guess i don't know my own address then.

1  Soflodude32 2017-09-01

"the lust for cock is overwhelming me. I can no longer control it".

1  TheDirtyWolfman 2017-09-01

Little or no alcohol aftershave substitution is the most beautiful thing I've seen on this subreddit

1  Bartlebycanbeanythin 2017-09-01

MAGA

1  richfloss 2017-09-01

"You have a very nice apartment. How much did you pay for it?"

"Well Bailey Jay, that's none of your business. But I can assure you, it wasn't cheap."

1  GhostOfJJ 2017-09-01

Are you a sweaterboy cutie?

1  btm29 2017-09-01

Let's see Paul Hargis' card.

1  BrianDisco 2017-09-01

"You're a fucking ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death and then play around with your blood" Lauren: Chip!

1  BoardroomBimmy 2017-09-01

"Oh my god, it even has a Foundry watermark."

1  Muted_Post-Horn 2017-09-01

Jimmy at the dry cleaners: "It's soda. Pepsi."

1  majestik6 2017-09-01

In the book, there are a bunch of hints that Bateman is gay. In the final scene of the movie, he's quoting Morrissey. (Seriously.) *"Is evil something you are? Or something you do?"

1  majestik6 2017-09-01

Bob, it's Norton, Jim Norton. You're my agent so I think you should know: I've fucked a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown uh, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 um an NYU girl I met on Backpage. I left her an extra $100 for shitting in my mouth. I was fucked by Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a black strap-on, and some man uh some old faggot with a dog last week. Yeah, I fucked a dog. I fucked another girl with a hairlip, I had to, she almost got away and uh someone else there I can't remember maybe a Somalian, I fucked her too. And Paul Allen. I fucked Paul Allen while he wore a dress, and I didn't even wear a condom. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've fucked maybe 80 people, maybe 90. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the 'girls' have seen the tapes. I even, um... I ate some of their asses, and I tried to felch a little. Tonight I, uh, I just had to fuck a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, I may show up at The Cellar, so you know, keep your eyes open.

1  will4two 2017-09-01

Yimmy is Patrick Bateman

1  dbs_champ 2017-09-01

brilliant.