Fake-Booking a Desperate Joe Matarese. How much would it cost?

28  2017-08-30 by porsalin

49 comments

oh god hahah. Hilarious but I just feel bad at this point.

I feel bad always anyway.

crowdfundingthissubhiresjoe

He'd have to do it.

He could roast Braunie and that fat cunt spaceedge.

but braunnie is such a good sweet boy

we also need brian gilgore on the roster

It was for a bachelor party of 15.

Tell him it's a gay wedding, and see if he's willing to strip or do sexual stuff... ya know, as a goof

Providing it's presented as a comedy show, I am certain he'd take a load in the face on stage.

Just book him for real. He'll show up for a plate of lasange.

I live in England. I could pay him and just send him to a random location just to drive home how much I don't want him?

Crumpets suck ass.

They're not good at all...

I do like those faggy little cucumber sandwiches though.

  1. Tell Joe his roast idea is a great one.

  2. Get mean people from this sub to be "friends".

  3. Every single "roaster" only roasts Joe, just the meanest things imaginable.

  4. Tell him he has to stay the entire night if he wants to get paid.

  5. He either has to sit through hours of jokes about what a pathetic hack whose nothing comedy career is entirely financed through his wife or leave and get nothing.

  6. Put the roast on youtube before the Vos Roast.

That is worth every penny and is legitimately an amazing idea.

Too bad it will never happen

And people are bashing me for being cruel - imagine if we actually did this?

  1. Give u/I_Hate_Knickers_Deux gold.

Fly me out, I'll do it. Ill even fight him for $70

He's a desperate never-was sadsack and every shred of decency is telling me this is a terrible idea...but I can't tell you not to do it.

Leave him alone. Its just sad now.

what a maroon. try to see how low he will actually go.

let me know your budget and I'll let you know if I can do it... I'm open every weekend in Nov ... I could also host a roast for you

i'm tapping out of the Matarese hate, this is just too fucking sad

He really didn't need to add the "in Nov" bit

Its so sad he wont name a price. So delusional to think people cant see that ploy...How much money you want? i dont know, how much money you want to give? ugh.

Its not like putting on a roof though! LOL Oh wait, Youre selling a service

He'd "scare the hell out of me" if I knew how much he's been paid sometimes.

$30 is not that scary Joe...

Seems like one of his depressing live streams he mentioned how much he was getting for a few night run at that club....was not a lot

He probably gets about $20-30 for a spot somewhere in the city (if anybody actually books him) so my offer's pretty generous considering.

I expect Joe will email you two days before the expected date and beg you to agree to $250.

He probably counts his wife's salary as "him getting paid" as well though...

She probably goes to the bookers before he does sets and gives them more money to give him.

$100-200

I don't even do stand up and even I cringed at that price hahha

Let him know Jimmy, Ant, and Artie will be there too

I'm gonna ask him to do it for about $100-200 but then say that something has eaten up more of the budget and see if he'll do it for less.

He's only doing this for his comedy ego. This is not providing for his family, they'd literally be better off if he got a job at Walmart. No one should feel bad for mocking his delusions.

18:35? tss tss yore FAWKIN clock is broken cuzz tss tss

At least the man has a professional e-mail address.

It would be a real shame if he suddenly got loads of abusive emails...

I'm not saying Matarese is a smart man, but even he might be able to connect the dots when he receives an inquiry about a show for the first time in months and then suddenly loads of abusive e-mails.

I think you're giving this man far too much credit but probably better to play safe.

My reaction when I read this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W78GyBn2GBY

Video linked by /u/ThisGameIsWeird:

Title Channel Published Duration Likes Total Views
Goodfellas - Tommy DeVito gets whacked off Drossover 2015-08-11 0:00:17 7+ (43%) 3,096

$quote Oh no.


Info | /u/ThisGameIsWeird can delete | v2.0.0

LOL

would you like to know Amy Schumer's personal email address?

I don't like Joe, but I don't like this. The dude is clearly in a bad way, and at least partially retarded. Leave him alone, please.

Agreed. This is something Opie would do/endorse. Turn this on someone who deserves it - Joe Cumia maybe.

Same here. I laughed, but we should do this with BroJoe, or Opie...

Oh no, I've never been so sad to not see 'peckaz'

Trolling the wrong Joe. If you want to fake book someone to fuck with them, it should be Brother Joe.

I've never heard this guys stand up or ever listened to him on a pod cast. Just how bad is he? I also think you should get the price as low as possible, to take away his dignity.

Opie levels of arrogance with Scorch levels of success. He deserves all the hate. Watch the infamous live "Fixing Joe" disaster

This guy is not good.

It would be a real shame if he suddenly got loads of abusive emails...

Opie levels of arrogance with Scorch levels of success. He deserves all the hate. Watch the infamous live "Fixing Joe" disaster