They come back from break, Sam - who has a Jack White tattoo - pretends to know the lyrics to Blue Orchid, one of The White Stripes' most famous songs. What follows is a transcript because I hate myself.

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Worm: DVV DVV

OJ: "Ooo oooo Ooo.. You gotta reaction."

Worm: Who's this?

OJ: Whaa? Dissis.... uhh.. The White Stripes. Jack White and the White Stripes. "I'm Jack White and this is my assistant Meg! hehehehehehe."

Worm: Let's bring in Chris DiStefano

OJ: "And we are.. Da White Stripes." "Something better than nuh.. muhh.. duhh.. hmm. hmm. (because he doesn't know the words to one of the most lyrically simple songs ever.) Whaa happun?

Worm: Oh is he outside? When he's done. Wow there's still seats available in the arena for fucking Mayweather/Macgregor

OJ: Yeah.. Two Thousand dollar seats. I wish Meg would just get over her shit and the White Stripes would come back!

TDawg: You wish she would just get over her crippling fear of performing live?

OJ (in high pitch whine): She's did it so many times. It's FINE, she's gonna be FINE. Like, Jack White carries the weight. Like.. (really thought he was going to say, like Jimmy)

Worm: Maybe there's something else there.

TD: She has NO interest.

Worm: Yeah she just doesn't.. she's got the money, right? Hi Chris.

CD: Hey..

OJ: Well, she's also not a great, like, it's not like she's a guyy- like she's got this passion for drumming that's she's gotta get out of her system.

TD: She just has no interest to do it.

OJ (is in "I'm a musical genius" voice): Well, they were amazing. Like, the other stuff is just not as good. I love Jack White. The other stuff just isn't as good. White Stripes is the best stuff he's ever done..

Worm: Deep inhale through nostrils.

OJ: An-And.. fuckingMEG is like, "ooOOo I have stage fright" Like, shutthefuckup and just Get Behind the Sa- (two things here.. one, the album is GET BEHIND ME SATAN. A "true" Jack White fan should know that. Second, isn't this a manchild that gets paid to talk to people for a living.. yet on an all-expenses paid international trip to meet comedians, he locked himself in his room because he didn't want to talk to new people? Like, shutthefuckup and just do your job)

Worm: Carly Simon had that for a long time. People get that once in a while

OJ: YEAH BUT SHE'S GOT A DRUM SET IN FRONT OF HER!

TD: I mean, it was a big deal when they played, what was it, Conan?

OJ: Yeah.

Worm: Maybe she has injuries, too.

TD: Nope.

Worm: Drummers get fucked up.. they get weird.. ya know, you're a sports medicine guy, ya know, they get weird.. like uhh.., they get weird uhh like fuckin' elboooow injurieeees.

OJ: But sheeee's not liiiike a dr.. zxcvziowem (vocal seizure)

Worm: She's a drummer!

OJ: Sheee's a drummer.. but she's not like

CD: What are we talking about? Who?

OJ: Meg White.

CD: Ohh.. from the uhhh.....?

OJ: White Stripes.

CD: Yeah.. All right.. I don't know uhh.. I don't know uhhh.. I'm not a big, uhh.. I'm I like The White St-stripes. I just.. I dunno

OJ: TAKE A SIDE, CHRIS! (it's PICK a side, you dottering fool. And that made ZEH-ROH sense in the conversation)

CD: I don't know anything about music.

OJ: HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE CACKLE CACKLE

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And then... they start mumbling about Bonnie Tyler, Justin Bieber, The Beatles, and Metallica, and Korn for the next 20 minutes. Chris sits in complete silence because, as Opie reminded us every time he's on, "I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MUSIC." So WolfPack Troy is chiming in CONSTANTLY with all his brilliant, shit music knowledge while the guest is sitting there wondering why the fuck he even bothered coming in.

Fucking.. Unbearable.