Comeback! Troubled Artie Lange Snags New Show After Medical Crisis

If this is what he considers a comeback, being on a video podcast with Anthony Cumia in 2017, he should try suicide again.

Wait until Mrs. Apatow finds out that Artie is teamed up with Anthony Cumia; if Crashing goes 20 seasons, I garuntee Artie will never be on again.

That's a good point. Artie is openly conservative, but sounds like the kind of conservative liberals can tolerate. Now he's on with a guy who loves Trump and is openly racist. He can't possibly still be on that show can he?

I would say at the very least that "it does not bode well for him."

Did you hear the podcast with him and gilbert? They both said nigger about 200 times. If he didn't get fired for that I don't know what he has to do to actually get fired.

Judd likes Gilbert, that's the difference.

And Gilbert is ahem, a Jew.

ME: A "juh"

Poor faggot Keith teasing this travesty for a month then to have it posted online.

Keith is the "insider" you turnip.

No need for name calling pal.

Anthony put Artie's name first. On a network Anthony owns.

Sounds better, honestly

But I do love Artie's idea of Opiate & Anthony. That was one of the funniest things he's said in a long time.

I'm sure he will repeat that joke at least 10 times on the new show.

purposeful brand confusion. Artie and Anthony sounds roughly like Opie and Anthony.

MIND CONTROL

As long as isn't Opie I am cool with it

Why? Then teaming up again would be the greatest thing that could ever happen to this subreddit. Open phones, endless abuse, knowledge that he was getting paid $100 a show, Ant would be his boss, East Side Dave would be of equal status, etc etc etc. Tits not getting the gig is a fucking nightmare.

Come on, you know those phones would be screened like crazy if the Opester was on. And he'd probably buy into the company like Gavin so he couldn't say Anthony was his boss.

So they raised the price for a guy nobody has confidence is going to last.

I know right? Do we refunds when Artie kicks off?

Nah. Notice the pitch e-mail made it sound like the money was going to give somebody like Eastside Dave a raise. So that would be their out. "Well, we didn't say it was for Artie, we said it was to make current shows better and work on apps and shiznit."

And they announce the increase before announcing Artie. Another brilliant business move by kief

Whether Artie lasts or not, it's going to be a funny fucking show. Plus, when they come on Jim and Sam to promote, we get Jim, Ant, Artie. The final nail in the coffin is when Anthony gets Jimmy in there. That would be an unstoppable show.

No, the real gem wouldn't be Jim in there, it would be Gilbert.

The bit where they insert the word nigger into Beatles songs maybe be the funniest low brow bit i have ever heard in my life. Artie and Gilbert egg each other on in a manner that rivals Ant and Jim.

That was on the canceled Opie show too. Some going.

Artie was basically offered too much money to walk away from

Given that he's a junkie that might be Eastside Dave's sad salary.

I thought they fired the staff and sold the desks over there, where's the money comin from?

I love Artie. I have since I first heard him on Stern when he came in with Norm MacDonald. And I've liked his appearances here and there.

All that said, two things:

• he's not what he used to be. He's got the disconnectedness of someone who has suffered through addiction and drug abuse for decades.

• he has literally fucked up every single regular gig he's tried to do starting with the HSS. Why would this be different?

Sober Artie is an unfunny painful Artie. I hate to say it, but the fact he's a junkie makes him tolerable on radio. This is sober artie, he's miserable and cranky, and ironically looks like he's on something the entire time.

Artie's only hope is to find a routine of addiction and sobriety that won't kill him. He will never be clean, but maybe if he only fucks up every other week he'll last another 5-7 years.

Uh, Artie isn't sober there. An hour even he fucking forgets he walked in eating a burger.

Sometimes they find footing again. Newly sober James Hetfield Metallica wasn't good, but it's gotten better. I don't have a comedy example. Anyone?

Dave Attell. He didn't do the AA thing but he quit drinking so he wouldn't die. Still funny.

There's a good one. Ronnie B, while I don't really like his show, is very funny, and he's a 12 step guy I believe.

literally the majority of comedians were drug addicts and alcoholics and quit at some point

That wasn't his question. He was talking about guys who were famous and funny before they got sober. Guys like Norton, Vos and CQ were all sober before they started doing comedy.

Wasn't referring to any of them...sobriety is a common feature of stand up comedians who have been in the game for a long time. They tend to be drunks or sober.

Oh wow! I hadn't noticed. Tell me more!

Dave Attell. He didn't do the AA thing but he quit drinking so he wouldn't die. Still funny.

Dave Attell. He didn't do the AA thing but he quit drinking so he wouldn't die. Still funny.

Dave Attell. He didn't do the AA thing but he quit drinking so he wouldn't die. Still funny.

Dave Attell. He didn't do the AA thing but he quit drinking so he wouldn't die. Still funny.

Dave Attell. He didn't do the AA thing but he quit drinking so he wouldn't die. Still funny.

Dave Attell. He didn't do the AA thing but he quit drinking so he wouldn't die. Still funny.

Dave Attell. He didn't do the AA thing but he quit drinking so he wouldn't die. Still funny.

I do like the use of those dots.

That's just how I roll

looks official

Sure do dude.

Why not make a powerpoint presentation you over achieving ass.

Your bar for "overachieving" is pretty low.

Artie's washed up, he mumbles and his heroin shtick is getting old. Anthony's show is so bad that even a co host isn't going to help.

Remember when Opie teased Artie as his co-host? LOL

FAWKIN SIRIUS WOULDN'T LET THAT HAPPEN BECAUSE THEY KNEW WE'D BE FAWKIN HUGE!

Already in the works.

sniff

Howie killed that deal

What happens when 2 substance abusers, both fired from the same company, with recent mugshots, jail stints, & court ordered appearances in rehab team up? The Artie & Anthony show!

As an added bonus, it's an arab and a half-indian half-german both pretending to be italian.

That's a better pitch than Keith will come up with.

Isn't that steve grillo the inside source? Doesn't he blab everything to radar?

Yep.

It sounds like Keith the Ex-Cop to me:

“Artie was basically offered too much money to walk away from,” the insider told Radar. “And it was Anthony’s idea to place Artie’s name first. They’ve been friends for a while.”

The AA show.

Lol

Actually the AaA show.

Tss what are they gonna do a show about car repair or somptin

Or fawkin BATTERIES!

Tss.. tss... yeah what are they? Stuttering alcoholics or sumthin?!

This should be funny but it'll end like the Jessie's Girl scene in Boogie Nights. Which will also be hilarious.

I'm sure he'll sing Jessie's Girl in a faggy robe on his gay karaoke stage. But does he have his guns back?

More to the point, will there be a Chinese twink named Cosmo involved? Anthony actually kind of looks like that guy, only uglier and with worse hair http://images.amcnetworks.com/ifc.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Alfred-Molina.jpg

And would Joe be the black guy to sneak in to help Anthony/Rahad.

And would hopefully meet the same fate.

Don't bring Rick Springfield into this. He's a saint on earth and my first crush before I realized that it was gay.

Could the story have come from this sub?.... again

Yeah (((RadarOnline))) this story was an "exclusive". Exclusive on this sub two weeks ago, ya filthy thieves. You owe /u/ihaveaholeinmyass compensation and I won't stop demanding it untill you either pay up or (((you're))) all run into the sea.

https://mobile.twitter.com/adeliaratterree/status/894267343253241856

rich cunts

i hate rich cunts

I notice there is no mention of Brother Joe's dividends on this deal?

Oh boy! I can't WAIT to hear the story about the time he did drugs again!

Did you know he snored during a Kathy Griffin interview once?

give him a break! he was tired from walking to St. Louis.

Did he snort meth to get there?

Or the time he was in LA county jail???

Or the time he was in LA county jail???

Or the time he was in LA county jail???

I'm fuckin doing blow at a Zanies in Columbus at 2 in the afternoon.

"One time I did so much coke..." "HOW MUCH COKE DID YOU DO???"

"One time I did so much heroin..." "HOW MUCH HEROIN DID YOU DO???"

"One time I tried suboxone..." "HOW MUCH SUBOXONE DID YOU TRY???"

Question for those of you who watch Ants show: is Artie a good addition?

I haven't seen one of his shows in about six months but that doesn't really matter. This will most likely be the two swopping the same tired stories we've already heard over the years with guests we either don't know or have heard on O&A/Stern a million times that'll just turn into a ball washing. I can't see it turning out to be anything must see but to each their own.

It has the promise. I'm sure there will be some great moments.

But I'd rather Anthony get a co-host that can keep him on track rather than a guy Anthony has to keep on track. Anthony with Bob Kelly or Luis J. Gomez would be better so they could steer the ship.

THIS IS GOING GREAT

As Radar reported, Lange, an addict who has tried to commit suicide twice, is opening up about his July collapse in Chicago as a result of an abscess near his heart. When doctors operated, Lange recently revealed, they found “a reservoir [containing] a bunch of heroin and cocaine that formed a sludge.”

Hope Ant doesn't pay him upfront

A fair article from Radar about Ant? In the words of Bobby Lee, "Who knew?".

I bet Ant will tolerate Artie's junkie bullshit much better than DiPaolo did. My favorite part about the Nick and Artie show was DiPaolo's simmering anger towards his co-host. You knew that the show was doomed from the start.

According to an insider

Shitposters don't count, you lazy hack!

Nice leak Keith.

As a day one subscriber, not happy about this. I'm a fan of Ant by himself or with one of the younger comedians that's into politics. That's just me. I'll give it shot but with this and the increase, I'm probably done.

What a fat druggie faggot. Saying he's "worked" with judd apatow as if it was in the same capacity as Seth rogen. It's like when rich vos kept mentioning Chris Rock but hes serious.

Reservoir with cocaine and heroin that formed a sludge? I like Artie and he does have a serious drug problem but that sounds like bullshit, or he's so disinterested in his health that he can't be bothered to learn the medical term for what's wrong with him.

Cent'anni Artie, but probably not.

Should call the show 'The AA Show....not'
Or sumptin...

I'm not gonna be a pessimist. I want funny Ant and maybe what people were saying - "he just needs a cohost, any cohost" - is true.

I'll wait until it actually becomes a trainwreck before I start assuming it'll be a trainwreck.

Cokie and Tranthony

A suicidal junkie did the bit better than you.

Lange, 50, is leaving his popular Artie Quitter podcast

For certain values of popular

Twenty years ago this would've been a hell of a pairing. Now it's just kind of sad, and so transparently doomed to be short-lived.

Worth a shot but I have a shitty attention span.

Artie's done with heroin in the same way Kanye West is done being an annoying nigger shoe salesman.

Now they just need a decent third mic

It's shocking watching Artie on Artie Lange show clips from only 4 years ago to how he looks now.

I fear he's not long for this world, I know many have thought this each year with Artie but something seems final about his recent crash and burn.

I guess dying/being brought back to life every now and again takes its toll.

Kratom

Artie is a fuckin' slob. Maybe he was funny back when he was with Stern, but the dude is a bum. A real crumb bum

I about shit when I read that he's only 50!

Maybe Artie will be the shot in the arm that Compound Media needs?

Artie mostly snorted.

Line Of The Day!

A&A Party Rock!!

I'm excited to watch Artie slowly die.

Can't wait for Artie to tell that story when he fell asleep on Howard Stern show for the millionth time.

"When doctors operated, Lange recently revealed, they found “a reservoir [containing] a bunch of heroin and cocaine that formed a sludge.”

Sure they did, Artie, sure they did, as we all know that's exactly how the human body works. You're a legendary drug abuser, OK? Feel better now?

The Crypt Keeper and Fat Crypt Keeper Show

Did you know he snored during a Kathy Griffin interview once?

I'm fuckin doing blow at a Zanies in Columbus at 2 in the afternoon.

"One time I did so much coke..." "HOW MUCH COKE DID YOU DO???"

"One time I did so much heroin..." "HOW MUCH HEROIN DID YOU DO???"

"One time I tried suboxone..." "HOW MUCH SUBOXONE DID YOU TRY???"