Detroit won't win because it's already facing backlash from black critics and audiences. They made a pandering story about race with a white director and a white screenwriter. That loses you points these days.
In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.
Jimmy is doubly infuriating. First you have to drag him kicking and screaming to experience new things. And even then, he hates the good things in life and latches on to the mediocre and bad shit.
Force him at gunpoint to learn to use technology newer than 1999: "Apple is SSSSSSCUMBAGS"
tie him to a chair, force his eyelids open and make him watch movies made after 1970: He picks the corny Marxist race-baiting one as his favorite.
It's about getting sexual gratification from car crashes. It's based on J.G. Ballard's book on the same name. The book's good. I've never seen the movie.
That movie always gets confused with the Canadian one of the same name, starring James Spader about people getting sexually turned on by car crashes, bent metal and torn flesh.
It's painful how unfunny and unoriginal you are. What happened, sweetie? Did you call into Ron and Fez with nothing interesting and Ron smashed you and hung up? Go watch old man Cumia slur his way through a show.
Remember, this is a guy who probably thinks that movies about how miserable everyone is in the suburbs are cutting edge and eye-opening. Doesn't realize every movie of that type has the exact same message. Meanwhile people with loving families and normal lives are much happier and more well adjusted than guys who have no one at 50 and have to pay for someone to pretend to like them for thirty minutes while they get off. Oh, Jimmy. Lonely, empty Jimmy.
I went to a gross liberal prep school. One day someone wrote "nigger" on a bathroom wall. The staff went hysterical. We had several class meetings and about it and they made us watch Crash to learn that black people weren't all criminals or something (I didn't really pay attention). That's who this movie appeals to. Jim and leftist English teacher cuckolds
"You just don't understand X" is the final defense of anyone who doesn't have an actual argument. I get this all the time when I talk politics with people. No, I understand. And your position sucks.
62 comments
1 Moveinslience 2017-08-09
Crash was about as deep as Rocky's speech at the end of Part IV
1 UnitedStates_America 2017-08-09
He's just pretending to be intellectual because he thinks it will impress that unfunny hack Kelsey.
1 late_50s_why 2017-08-09
😂 that Bald boyfriend of hers
1 Zazz_Lacker 2017-08-09
Kelsey is extremely cute. It almost excuses Jim acting like a jackass to impress her.
I still don't get why a gay man would want to get in her pants so badly though.
1 BoongChook 2017-08-09
Rocky IV is one of the most patriotic films ever.
1 holodog 2017-08-09
If the black thug can change... and the evil cop can change... ANYWUB KIN CHAWWNNNNGE
1 I_want_Forbin 2017-08-09
Hearts of fiiiiire...
1 boring_oneliner 2017-08-09
ENOUGH WITH CRASH
1 bonniesretardsister 2017-08-09
I'd have more respect for Jim if he was defending Pickle Rick as funny.
1 MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2017-08-09
You'll love this fart sniffing review then.
http://birthmoviesdeath.com/2017/08/08/film-crit-hulk-smash-lets-talk-about-pickle-rick
1 bonniesretardsister 2017-08-09
Are they doing a parody or did some fag take too much Adderall and write that mess?
1 MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2017-08-09
I honestly can't tell. It's freshman English paper bad.
1 late_50s_why 2017-08-09
Why are you even reading that shit
1 bonniesretardsister 2017-08-09
He's the only one who still remembers it. It's up there with Hurt Locker as best picture winners nobody gives a fuck about.
1 Lish_fips89 2017-08-09
Hurt Locker was so unbelievably average.
1 bonniesretardsister 2017-08-09
Yeah but anti war + vagina = victory.
Just like Bigelow will win again for Detroit. She is a master at pandering.
1 DOGOLOGY 2017-08-09
I mean it was good but in a very average way. It was a fine movie but fuckin so far far from Oscar worthy
1 Lish_fips89 2017-08-09
I would have preferred if the entire film had the same feeling of intensity and purpose that the first Guy pearce scene had.
1 FakeTrending 2017-08-09
2 hour movie that has no point except that war is addictive.
1 boring_oneliner 2017-08-09
maaaaan
1 UnitedStates_America 2017-08-09
You just don't get it maaaaaaaan. You're calling it basic? There are levels maaaaaan
1 bonniesretardsister 2017-08-09
The best part is he calmed down, then will read his twitter feed with everyone shitting on that movie and get angry again.
1 DoncoEnt 2017-08-09
Detroit won't win because it's already facing backlash from black critics and audiences. They made a pandering story about race with a white director and a white screenwriter. That loses you points these days.
1 xxmikekxx 2017-08-09
"The Artist". Has anyone ever watched that one twice?
1 MuddahSockCuckah 2017-08-09
No, but it was great the first time.
1 ElmerDudd 2017-08-09
In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.
Actual dialogue from the movie
1 bonniesretardsister 2017-08-09
He only likes 6 movies and this is one?
1 Jackthejew 2017-08-09
He really does need to watch a few more. Jim was impressed by the hunger game he has to expand his horizons.
1 KangolVos 2017-08-09
I never really thought about how even a city as populated as L.A. could have people feeling so detached.
1 JohnQNo1 2017-08-09
Im a moron and this gives me hope that i could write and sell a screenplay.
1 holodog 2017-08-09
You can't
1 JohnQNo1 2017-08-09
Can so
1 deanthecleanmachine 2017-08-09
is crash a movie or show
1 bonniesretardsister 2017-08-09
https://youtube.com/watch?v=durNwe9pL0E
1 ElmerDudd 2017-08-09
The comments under that video are sickening
1 deanthecleanmachine 2017-08-09
that was fucking horrid
1 CaptainJeanLucPeckah 2017-08-09
Who the fuck is still talking about Crash thirteen years later? Christ, Jim.
1 VicDumb 2017-08-09
Same people making 30 year old movie references
1 late_50s_why 2017-08-09
Like a dopes eyes
1 i_saw_nothing 2017-08-09
I always remember Crash being that movie about the people who fetishize car accidents which was also pretty forgettable.
I think Jim's talking about a movie which I care even less about.
1 Uboat1940 2017-08-09
It also stole its title from a movie in which Rosanna Arquette fucked cars.
1 Soflodude32 2017-08-09
Yuck
1 ohpipedown 2017-08-09
Paul Haggis (the writer/director) didn't realize he was in a cult for 30 years.
Crash is saccharine, cringey, and has no basis in reality. I have no idea what Jimmy sees when he watches it.
1 bonniesretardsister 2017-08-09
He doesn't experience much beyond the same 2 bands, 3 comics, 6 movies and 1 TV show he likes. It's like Sam and food.
I have no idea why he saw Crash and has refused to see so much good shit that would blow his mind. A date must have demanded to go see it.
1 Zazz_Lacker 2017-08-09
Jimmy is doubly infuriating. First you have to drag him kicking and screaming to experience new things. And even then, he hates the good things in life and latches on to the mediocre and bad shit.
Force him at gunpoint to learn to use technology newer than 1999: "Apple is SSSSSSCUMBAGS"
tie him to a chair, force his eyelids open and make him watch movies made after 1970: He picks the corny Marxist race-baiting one as his favorite.
1 Hamburger212 2017-08-09
Paul Hargiss? Yeah
1 bonniesretardsister 2017-08-09
Oh god, is that why he gave Uncle Paul that surname.
1 throwawizzlemahnizzl 2017-08-09
no
1 physics90 2017-08-09
Is he talking about Crash from 2004 or Crash from 1996. Crash from 96 seems more to his taste.
1 hookahreed 2017-08-09
What's it's about, suckin cock?
1 physics90 2017-08-09
It's about getting sexual gratification from car crashes. It's based on J.G. Ballard's book on the same name. The book's good. I've never seen the movie.
1 alternative_faps 2017-08-09
That movie always gets confused with the Canadian one of the same name, starring James Spader about people getting sexually turned on by car crashes, bent metal and torn flesh.
1 ZigginZaggin 2017-08-09
Warm Leatherette
1 cakehornnigga 2017-08-09
"Crash is a movie that makes stupid people feel smart." -Ron Bennington
1 late_50s_why 2017-08-09
What's a movie that makes a obese turd that feel like wearing three pairs of sunglasses can make him looks skinny
1 cakehornnigga 2017-08-09
It's painful how unfunny and unoriginal you are. What happened, sweetie? Did you call into Ron and Fez with nothing interesting and Ron smashed you and hung up? Go watch old man Cumia slur his way through a show.
1 late_50s_why 2017-08-09
Oh man you caught me
1 MuddahSockCuckah 2017-08-09
I dunno, I'm a big Cronenburg fan and that movie is awesome.
1 CommodorePawsey 2017-08-09
Remember, this is a guy who probably thinks that movies about how miserable everyone is in the suburbs are cutting edge and eye-opening. Doesn't realize every movie of that type has the exact same message. Meanwhile people with loving families and normal lives are much happier and more well adjusted than guys who have no one at 50 and have to pay for someone to pretend to like them for thirty minutes while they get off. Oh, Jimmy. Lonely, empty Jimmy.
1 thordagen 2017-08-09
Fuck I was hoping this was the Cronenberg film .I would have fucked that wound too.
1 Throwaway98709860 2017-08-09
I went to a gross liberal prep school. One day someone wrote "nigger" on a bathroom wall. The staff went hysterical. We had several class meetings and about it and they made us watch Crash to learn that black people weren't all criminals or something (I didn't really pay attention). That's who this movie appeals to. Jim and leftist English teacher cuckolds
1 Zazz_Lacker 2017-08-09
So they succeeded in boring the innocent students to tears and making the hotheads even more angry, annoyed, and resentful.
Leftists are dumb as shit.
1 WoopEmGangbangStyle 2017-08-09
I did laugh when sandra bullock fell down the stairs.
1 Doc_McCoyXYZ 2017-08-09
Im so glad I missed the show today. As if Mary Jean wasn't reason enough to miss. Thank you for your service.
1 iamcolinwood 2017-08-09
"You just don't understand X" is the final defense of anyone who doesn't have an actual argument. I get this all the time when I talk politics with people. No, I understand. And your position sucks.
1 holodog 2017-08-09
You can't
1 late_50s_why 2017-08-09
Oh man you caught me