For clarity - this is a 1 year Being-John-Malkovich scenario?

Yeah pretty much but you are stuck there for the whole year. No jumping back out.

You say weird shit to people dude

Just answer the question, I've been railing Vicodin all day and don't have time for semantics.

This is my new favorite account on Reddit this guys killin it

Ask him about Anglos and the real entertainment begins

Hey @pus, what about the Anglos?

I hate them with a passion they sold mein volk twice and they never be forgiven by me.

I'm all in with thenig. Guy's fawkin brootal.

Always happy to meet fans.

No bs, you're the best. I'm glad you came back (:

Vicodin? That shit's weak yo

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Snorting vicodin? One pill breaks up into a shitload of lines and I don't even think they can be metabolized through insufflation. Also, there's a shitload of acetaminophen in them. I just started trying poppy seed tea though and that shit is legit, I can't find legit drugs any more so I gave it a try. Shit had me nodding out from 500 grams, I thought it was a joke when people talked about it getting you high but it's for real.

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Give me Anthony, I already drown my feelings in alcohol like he does so ill be used to that and i have always wondered what 15yo snatch felt like.

I unwittingly fucked a 16 year old in Thailand (I was on 22 so it's not that weird) it was pretty good but it isn't worth 400k, so I'd personally pick Opie.

yeah no, fucking a child aint weird

I had basically justed turn 22 and she looked like every other Thai hooker. Also a 16 year old is not a child.

If you had a freshly 22 year old son and he came to you and was like "dad I fucked this girl at a party who I thought was of age but it turns out she was 16" you would not think "oh no my son is a pedo"

well Im gonna say 16 is still a child but if you didnt know she was 16, then I cant blame you

Don't get me wrong I probably would have fucked her anyway even if I knew.

Thats someones daughter! you crumb creep

As the saying goes one man's daughter is another man's cock sleeve

One man's president is another man's cock holster.

Youre a crumb bum

16 is not a child

this conversation happened last night. Fuck on off

How did u find out she was 16?

He counted the rings after he sawed her head off.

I showed her my passport pic because I used to be a disgusting fat body like Pvt Pyle when I had the pic taken at 18 and she asked me how old I was now and then I asked her and she told me 16.

U fucked her again after she told u that, didn't u

No I bought her as a short time girl so I would have had to pay 2000 more baht to fuck her again and I was already tired and drunk. I went out to eat with her though. I would go buy all my prostitutes dinner and eat with them or go drinking with them afterwards cause I'm a sweet boy aka a loser.

Hey don't sell urself short, ur also a pedophile

Are you typing on a phone from 1999? What's with all the "ur"s? Most people actually take the 3 seconds to type the word out.

What an odd thing to pick on.

Lol that's a really weird thing to get upset about. Go fuck another child, that should take ur mind off it

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Nitpicking grammar loses some of its sting when coming from a self-confessed pedo.

16 is age of consent throughout much of the world

and weed is illegal throughout much of the world, doesnt mean its right

Yeah but puberty is a natural thing and it's been over for years by the time someone is 16. Women begin having periods between like 8 - 12. So by 16 they're ready to reproduce from a biological perspective.

I dont' want to keep arguing this because it comes across exceedingly creepy. For the record, I aim for mid-20s to mid-30s, but I'm 40 so there you have it. But I also hate pointless unscientific fainting couch faggotry.

yeah theres something definitely creepy about it

Still... pretty.. weird..

kill, kill, marry, fuck. did i do the game right?

NO!

okay, i'd kill them all and then fuck them.

I'll take Sam for 250k! He lives a reasonable life, it's totally doable!

You only get to eat "chicken nuggies" and you have to endure a fucking a fat pig of a wife who doesn't respect you, then you have to watch wrestling for 11 hours a day and ignore your sons crying because a big match is going on in wrastlin... id blow my brains out

You will be eating chicken nuggets and fish sticks every night while watching wrestling and listening to a newborn cry for a year straight though.

That can't be worse than experiencing hearing your darling wife get nailed by Bam in your own bed, or having to suck Sue Lightning's dick.

Opie likes being a cuckold though so since I'm feeling his emotions I'd just be happy and feel like I was busting a nut when he finished jerking his little dick.

The wrestling was the worst part of all that

U gotta eat chicken nuggets 3 meals a day. You go to the biggest comedy festival only to stay in your hotel and watch old wrestling shows and play with ur lil dick.

I'll take Opie because he's deluded so he probably twists negative events into good emotions and you get the most money.

I have a feeling Opie doesn't feel very many good emotions.

Opie can't possibly hate himself more than I hate myself so it'd be like a vacation for me. I'm still sticking with Opie.

Opie, kill myself on day one. You fuckers worship me as your god.

You have zero control, so that is not an option.

I'm still going to try.

They thought the same thing in Being John Malcovich at first, but eventually that guy was able to take over his body.

can i pay to stay out of all 4?

They only way you can get out of this is if you take the worst traits from each of them for the rest of your life. So you will become an alcoholic who watches wrestling all day that has tits and complains about his eggs while letting trannies shit on you.

I would take Opie. I would probably take Opie even if they were all even money. Opie has the best life out of all of them. Even though he is fucked up in the head. They all are. Except Sam. But Sam is too boring. And I would hate to have to watch that much wrestling.

Anthony.

Same. We already have similarly degenerate lifestyles.

If you could have sex w Esther Ku but it had to be a threesome w Opie Anthony or Jim which one would it be? Your dicks touch during intercourse and a lil of his cum gets on your torso. Go.

Opie. A threesome with two sets of tits is the least gay.

Excellent point. Also word around the water cooler is that Jim and Ant are packing heat and you don't want to be the smaller guy. Opie claims to have "a nice piece" but between you and me I think he doesn't tell the truth sometimes.

Jim for sure. I haven't got my dick sucked by two girls at the same time since high school.

Ant for sure. However Jim is close because he has some pretty cool friends and I've always fantasized about sitting at the cool kids table at the Cellar.

I wouldn't pick him. Sure the drinking would be fun but you have to do it with his loser friends and the rest of the day you will just be watching him look at Twitter and complain about black people. I'd be like living in a year long TACS episode

Worst monkey's paw ever.

Opie- money and wife are worth it....as Opie, I'm naturally a piece of shit, and won't truly give a fuck about anything. I'm all set

Opie. I can fuck Lynsi, enjoy his money, and find out if his daughter is retarded.

Lets go for the superfector, on the last day u throw the downsy son off his trump tower apartment and yell "I did this all for you Howard."

If by "fuck Lynsi" you mean slurping down Bam's jizz from Lynsi's worn out pussy than you've got what you've bargained for.

I'm still in.

thata boy

Opie, I can handle a year of being confused as to why everyone hates me.

Add to this scenario - you have to read every post on here about yourself & experience the humiliation of every shitpost and photoshop about you and your family. On that note how much for Brother Joe? 1 mil?

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Sam without a doubt. He should be the 50k option, as Jim's experience comes with some diseases and some golden showers. And christ, he's definitely got fucked in the ass at least once.

Sam gets chicken nuggets and wrestling. It'd be like I'm a kid again.

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For me, the totals should be 500k for Jimmy (because I really don't like the certainty of fucking trannies, sorry,) 250k for Anthony (because I really don't like the probability of going to prison for assaulting a woman and/or having sex with a minor,) 100k for Opie (yes psychologically a living hell, but that's not so different from my current psyche) and 50k for Sam (so he likes wrestling, so what?).

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You need a girlfriend

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Anthony. It would be nice to feel like anormal out of control alcoholic again

Anthony. Sleeping habits are closer to mine. Nicer McMansion and a pool. No children. No going to gym. Video games all day interrupted only by a 3 hour webcam show

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Anthony, so I can toot on Sue Lightning's little pecka

Looks like someone just saw Being John Malcovich

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This sounds like being john malkovich only gayer

I'm basically Ant already. I start work at 4pm so I can go to sleep at 6am. I drink too much, need online validation and fuck crazy 18 year olds. I'm just 30 years younger and look 60 years younger.

You also forgot to mention the part about how you're the greatest sniper in military history.

What the fuck did u say to me I have 500 confirmed kills.

I'm not exaggerating though fella. I don't care if you believe me or not.

Ant for 100k. I too like teenage self harmers with daddy issues. From my experience those girls will let you do anything

That's easy, Anthony.

Anthony ,so I can drink And drive.shhhhh

Sam easily.

So if they happen to die in that year you will also be dead.

This changes my answer. Honestly, I was going to go with Opie. For 500k it would not be such a bad experience, and whoever took that option would gain an unprecedented understanding of Gregg's psyche. But lately things have not been going well in his life, and I honestly consider it a fairly high possibility that he might off himself. My answer is Sam.

Yeah pretty much but you are stuck there for the whole year. No jumping back out.