Seriously, why can't Sam eat normal people food?

4  2017-08-03 by TinKnockinMoroccan

I just can't imagine his parents coddled him that much. My family was pretty lenient, but if I refused to eat anything other than chicken tenders, I would have been called an asshole by my(thankfully northern) Italian grandfather.

I'm borderline vegan at this point but I still love the taste of a delicious steak. How is it possible to be such a coddled queer than you can't even handle a piece of steak in your mouth? Let alone being unable to try the foods that someone making 100k a year can enjoy?

16 comments

Coz he's a faggot.

His faggotness has been well documented for years

I mean doesn't every chid start life eating Gerber baby food that consists of pureed fruits and vegetables? Did his parents just grind up a bunch of McNuggets and feed them to him as an infant? You feed a kid what you know will be good for them not what they choose, because they are too dumb to have a balanced diet without your help. I know Sam has really pathetic kike genes to begin with, but I can't help but think that his poor skin tone, stunted physical development and weakness probably have a lot to do with his steady diet of only soft drinks are other foods that colored people love. The most damning piece of evidence that Sam is at least partially a nigger is that he prefers fast food over fine dining even though most of them have those habits because of socioeconomic constraints, a problem which Sam has never faced.

My man be dealin with the same shit I am

or a past negative experience with the food.

Which is why I think Munchausen makes perfect sense given everything we know about his mom. She's probably a wall-scrubbing lunatic with an enormous fear of that empty nest syndrome, and got him "negatively addicted", for lack of a better term, on kiddie food (that she became great at making at apparently) so he'd never be too far from her teat. I can picture a lot of blowouts between his parents that factored into it. It'd be too easy of a joke to say that explains why his father also has peculiar food tastes, but if it was somehow related it wouldn't be surprising either.

Ol' Pavlov simply poisoned all adult every first time her baby tried it.

His dad is a fucking psycho, for real. He has a handlebar mustache and eats raw potatoes. God that whole family just absolutely sucks.

Vegan means you like cock meat in the ass, mouth and both hands at the same time right?

No, it means he substitute s all milk products with cum.

Why can't a non-human reptile person eat human food?

I almost relate: my mother was a mental so didn't care or notice that I asked for chicken dippers, potato waffles & ketchup EVERY day. I never tried new things & got it in my head that I didn't like things I'd not tried, even simple shit .......

Then I became an adult!!

I'm a borderline vegan but I love the taste of a delicious steak.

Ugh, what?

It's an unfunny bit started by Opie.

Vegan faggot.

His mother is a terrible parent. There’s such a thing as being too indulgent. A good parent forces their kid to eat shit they don’t want to eat. Ol’ overindulgent Bobbi tried too feed little Sam rice and beans once and he shook his head. The proper thing to do at this point is to beat the kid to death until they swallow the fucking food. Instead Bobbi just gave him microwaved chicken nuggets because she’s weak and stupid.

The only people I hate more in the world than Sam are opie and Bobbi Roberts.

He's a mommas boy. Latent homosexual.etc.etc.