He's gone. Fuck him. He was an asshole anyway.

A ten minute clip of all of his "HOLD ON HOLD ON" moments followed by a gassing of anyone who actually showed up.

Comic royalty will come out to recreate his bits.

President Trump will give his eulogy to open.

Chris Rock will scream "JAZZ!!!!!" and the audience will whisper "it up".

Louis CK will do a Harry Hater tribute performance.

Kevin Hart will be reading a small list of his favorite Opie lines that were ignored. This will still take five hours.

Jerry Seinfeld will give himself a baby shit mustache.

Judd Apatow will bra bomb the stadium (this will have to be held at Met Life Stadium given the turnout.)

Trey Parker will commit ritualistic suicide to atone for his sin of not going back on O&A.

Marlon Wayans will come out to confirm actually he was saying Opie was his hero that time.

Anthony will close the show by singing Wind Beneath My Wings.