pleasediepleasediepleasediepleasediepleasediepleasedie

I was so excited when that link didn't open up to "Dying of laughter from seeing Rich Vos July 6-8 at the Punchline Sacramento"

I wasn't :(

Happy cake day o/

Someone tweeted Vos to thank him for entertaining the 40 people at the club last night and Rich tweeted back, "47".

Still, 47 people spending $50 on food and beers is a respectable $2,350 for the owner, and a sweet crisp $20 bill for Richard.

FFS artie!

"next chapter if I'm not clean I'm gone."

Well, it's not looking good then.

Give him opies slot. At least if he is a mess it'll be recorded

The only thing left is for Jim to become a woman.

Why is he still shouting out Apatow? And on his death bed? That jew has some real power over him.

Apatow is surely up to something. He's probably being extra nice to Artie because he knows he has already written him out of next season. Jews always have a dirty trick up their sleeve to get the upper hand

Artie already confirmed his appearances in series 2. He even said how much he'd get paid in the second, and it's more than series 1!

we use the term season in this country buddy.

britfag confirmed.

Who cares, that show is fucking gay

I love this subreddit. This comment made my dead heart smile.

I don't know if this is true but I don't like Jews so I'm going to believe it for now.

((($)))

Apatow is the only guy still giving this perpetual disappointment pity gigs.

Yes, you can die from things that is well known to kill people.

If he manned up and shot his dope his nose would be fine and this wouldn't be happening.

He would have been dead 10 years ago.

This really isn't too far from the truth.

Sounds like he has a PICC line. Maybe osteomyelitis or endocarditis.

Ok dr. Faggot do you mind explaining what the fuck any of that means? No offense

A catheter was placed in his arm in a large vein. It goes "central" to his heart. That PICC line can stay in for weeks.

I'm guessing he either has a bone infection or his heart. It's not clear from the tweet. If it's his heart, which is my guess, then he may have veges caused by bacteria on his valves which is very bad. This is a serious situation.

Having a PICC is a bit risky. Since there's a direct shot to Artie's heart the risk of a secondary infection is significant. It's also easy access to a vein which, given Artie's history, isn't ideal.

I had no idea truck drivers were so educated on this topic. I guess it kinda makes sense since it revolves around heart disease.

Thanks for your explanation

Ah, I jus show up to da job site, da foreman says, 'go do dis n dat,' ah don't know, I just do my job and wait for da lunch siren, ya know what I mean?

15 minute union breaks for doctors

I wouldn't know as an NP

Nigger Policeman?

N person

Well he mentioned his heart repeatedly so in guessing it's his heart.

sounds like he's got fat old guy drug addictitis

I don't know why "Dr Faggot" made me laugh my ass off

I do know why "nigger policeman" made me laugh so hard

Same here. Laughed so hard I scared my dogs

If that's the case I wonder how they react around your sleep apnea machine

Tell us more about how hard you laughed, you fucking queens. Regular Reddit is that way.

wow. this is really sad.

I saw him on New Years and yeah he looked like shit, but he looked happy and alive. not 6 months away from having a "permanent IV line" in him

The way he was visually deteriorating, something was obviously up.

This infection was probably brewing in his system for almost a year.

He's done. Had awesome moments on Stern. RIP to you and Grandma Caprio.

If that obese dopefiend ever said anything funny it was by accident.

Restarting his coke habit at the age of 50 was probably a bad move. Artie wants to sabotage himself, that's why getting another tv-show was the worst thing that could happen to him. Its a shame though, i always liked Artie.

Do u think he really stopped? Artie can be a good actor

My impression was that he used opiates all along, but restarted the coke more recently, partly because he said so, but also because of the weight loss over the last couple of years. But i could absolutely be wrong about that.

I got that impression too. He's definitely been doing opiates all along (aside from maybe a few weeks a time where he's clean), but I hadn't noticed him being coke-manic until somewhat recently (past year or so).

Agree because this coincides with when his podcast went to complete shit :(

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Jesus man... this makes me so sad. Thank god I don't shoot dope anymore. Fucking Christ! Fucking get well Artie! It's not fucking worth it!

god doesn't exist, and you will shoot dope again and probably die faggot

Yeeaaahhh... you're probably right about all 3.

Imagine being Artie, a bloated junkie covered in self-stabbing scars and no family by his side. Just a lonely man in a hospital lying on Twitter saying he's going to turn it all around, maybe believing it briefly but old enough to know he's full of shit.

Go out "on top"?

It's times like these a realistic man turns a corner and changes his life to get better.

RIP Artie you were one of the alrights.

Hoo hoo, I uh invented Artie dying Robin!

Somewhere Matarese is rubbing his hands together mumbling "A doctor wife would be pretty handy right about now, wouldn't it fat fuck"

His wife isn't that kind of doctor.

this is his version of Opie getting fired

Anyone else shocked he had a drug habit? I thought it was a radio bit.

I don't blame Howard one bit for distancing himself from this disaster. I loved Artie on the show, but theres no reason to have this attention whore baby boy die in front of your audience.

His tweets read like a 13 year old breaking up with the first pussy he finger banged.

WHY DONT YOU ACT LIKE A MAN!!!

Howard is hoping for a death so he can get some publicity out of it. He'll have some quotes appear in the paper and on TV, maybe do a short interview for ET about Artie. Then he'll spend a few episodes of the show pontificating on Artie and playing clips. "Hoo hoo Robin we uhhh we ahhh tried to reach out to Artie to help him didn't we?" "OH yes Howard! hmmhaha mmmhaa"

How dare you say that... without also mentioning how Opie would be worse because he had Artie in this year.

You're wrong in every way. Stern doesn't even say Artie's name. They've erased him from best-of shows. He'll mention it briefly, say he tried to help Artie with his "demons" and that'll be it.

Stop posting things that make me feel human emotions such as empathy

Jim " I was an addict I know the struggle man" Norton should step in and help Artie

"yeah I dunno, that's a tough one. Seek out a program."

"I can see why he'd like heroin. But I can also see why he'd want to quit."

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Yeah, Artie's in the last few months of his mildly successful but ultimately unfortunate life. Oh, well. Enjoy the heroin, Artie.

At least no one will film him in the bathroom.

After Artie dies he's gonna reincarnate as opium.

So happy this unfunny faggot is going to die. I hope he rots in hell and his family gets raped and murdered.

Tell us how you really feel!

And I don't like him!

I hope the New York Sunday Times prints a front page article that reads "Artie Lange from Howard Stern Show on Deathbed from Drugs". Stern would love that!

Artie is the epitome of a sad man. Opie is the epitome of a pathetic man.

Eat a dick fatty

I have zero sympathy for drug addicts. You had every chance in the world, and you blew it. And fuck their friends too; they're nearly always enablers.

That's why I think Howard did the right thing in the end. Cut off these leeches.

maybe opie gets a job steering the ship that tugboats this lardass 2 miles out to sea when his estate manager finds out they don't make graves that big

At least we still have Mark Harris.

RIP.

The only person that keeps on keeping on is Pat Cooper some how.

I'm done bullshitting... Judd Apatow is a saint.

Did he bang his head when he collapsed...?

It must be exhausting living "Groundhog's Day".