Ugh please tell me he didnt say that

Jesus Christ

She's gotta have something for bill to want to raise another man's kid with her.

Bill Burr is actually such an Eddie Murphy fan that he took Eddie's advice from the "What have you done for me lately" routine and married Ufufu The Bush Bitch.

Have you met my girlfriend? shes super smart and super funny

Bill won't be laughing when he's held captive for his jokes and semen on Mars...

Sure ya did, Bill. Just because you think she's hot shit doesn't mean the rest of us have to.

Does a flaming pile of shit count as hot shit?

well technically

Damn, how can civilians even compete?

Yeah, I find her henpecking Bill hilarious.

Remember Joe DeRosa is a professional stand-up comic, so I think I deserve this.

so basically he has a deep psychological affection for Patrice to the point where doing benefits wasn't enough, he had to marry someone who looks like Patrice

Looks like Patrice with none of the wit, humor and intelligence.

or sexiness

or knowledge about how a woman's mind works

To be fair, neither of them had that.

You must not have listened to any of his advice on women then. Shit'll get you more ass than a toilet seat.

That's not advice on women, that just advice for getting pussy. Which, who cares?

Patrice ended up with a gold digger who milks his fat black corpse for every last sympathy dime she can get. If he understood women so well, why wasn't he able to find somebody who isn't a scumbag?

He's a fat monster and yet he convinced her to go pull girls for him so they could have threesomes together. Everything he said was completely on point

This is exactly right, as Patrice said a million times, thank god women ain't us.

Who cares about getting pussy? Me, you dummy. I'm in my mid 20s, in my prime years, so fuck off with your negativity. Of course you think his advice was trash, you've never applied it or actually listened to it from the looks of it.

Why do you give a shit about pussy? Like for real? What point is there?

Our instincts to survive and reproduce have allowed life on this planet to continue existing over millions of years despite the extreme obstacles and hardships. We're wired to want to fuck people that will give us children that will be strong enough to have kids of their own. Maslow's hierarchy of needs includes sex with food/shelter as our most basic need for a reason. Human beings are social creatures. That's why people who spend all day inside living through friend simulators (reddit, youtubers etc.) get depressed. We need contact. Physical contact especially. If you withhold affection from a baby, it will die no matter how much nutrients and warmth you give it.

Being wanted and pursued by women, having somebody lust after you is a sign that you have actual worth. Women are attracted to high value men that have influence in the world. If you have a girl that wants to fuck you, especially an attractive one, it does wonders for your self-esteem. That's why who just fuck hookers are no where near as happy as men who have say, multiple FWBs. Getting laid by a women you genuinely wants you is a sign that you're moving up the dominance hierarchy which is what men are programmed to do. Men aren't really pursuing the top of the dominance hierachy much nowadays because of how poorly men are socialised in their childhood and adolescence, which I could go into detail about, but I'm sure you get the point.

It's possible to just give up on women. There are exceptions to every rule. You don't necessarily need them, but having sex with somebody who also wants to fuck you is one of our most viscous primordial motivations.

Dominance hierarchy

Dominance hierarchy arises when members of a social group interact, often aggressively, to create a ranking system. In social living groups, members are likely to compete for access to limited resources and mating opportunities. Rather than fighting each time they meet, relative relationships are formed between members of the same sex. Based on repetitive interactions a social order is created that is subject to change each time a dominant animal is challenged by a subordinate one.

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I'd rather just have a girlfriend I really like, share interests with and sometimes fuck.

Maybe I'm just a nihilist.

I'd rather just have a girlfriend I really like, share interests with and sometimes fuck.

That doesn't make you a nihilist, that makes you a normal human being. The scenario you just outlined doesn't go against anything I said in my comment.

That was a joke. I'm trying to keep it light.

I don't get it, I'm stupid explain the joke to me

It's sarcasm(maybe?) in saying that simply trying to find a girl I like, instead of studying some draconian theory of female psychology is nihilist.

Real question, real answer: because fucking women is one of my favorite past-times. There's no shame in fucking a prostitute if you have no game, but why pay when you can get it so easily for free if you just apply yourself a little?

Fair enough.

I just don't care that much. I've never understand why anyone would go out of their way to have sex.

Because it's a million times better than masturbation, lest you've been desensitized by it.

I just... eh. I'm glad it brings you happiness.

If you mean it... thank you!

Your welcome. :)

It's just basic manipulation of emotionally vulnerable, likely stupid people. It's not even specific to women.

Patrice understood women's nature so well, he actually seemed to intuitively understand things like this and this without even reading about it

If you want to have a successful LTR or be able to successfully manage multiple women, you really need to understand the shit he was talking about

That's nonsense.

Are sure you have the time to provide your reasoning behind why you think that?

It's the same pseudoscience that has been bandied about for decades on the internet and much longer in other formats.

Well the fact that these ideas have lasted so long may be a testament to their truthfulness. They way those two articles explain their points make so much sense to me, and I notice it IRL so often as well.

Nigga, people still believe the earth is flat.

I could go on to explain shit that I know and understand about women, but it will fall on deaf ears. Just ask yourself this, do you feel like you understand women and how to get laid or get a girlfriend? Are you completely satisfied in that area and have that totally covered? If you're not, it's because you don't know enough. Simple as that. You need more information.

I'm fine. I don't have any trouble with women.

Alright, well I know that's not true at all but we'll leave it at that. If you have the time and are willing to watch, check out RSDTyler's youtube channel. Particularly his older videos, he teaches things that might help you out.

Why do you think it must not be true?

You're trying and failing. You can truly learn this shit, trust me

That feels like projecting.

I'm cool. I have my own process. It's called respecting people and only dating somebody if I've established over a period of time that they're a good person and I like hanging out with them.

Well that goes without saying.

Bill Burr's heart works like Opie's brain

Just listened to an old episode of the show from 2005 and Opie was saying it was "hard to talk" to Jim Breuer because he started his own radio show. He was "personally disappointed."

This is more accurate than you think

Damn is this accurate

Billy Jean is not my lover, he's just a gullible red headed prick. The kid is not his son.

This is honestly one of the worst things I've ever read.

What a fucking prick this man has become. I've stopped listening to his podcast now but anytime he invited that husky voiced twat Nia to talk she killed any humour there was and just talked over him and called him names.

I think in his twisted stupid head he thinks Nia's cunty attitude is adorable and sassy. Bill, you're done and becoming a hateable cunt.

Same. I was religious on his podcasts but haven't bothered to listen since the abomination was birthed

It's like when Jay Mohr said his wife never had any sort of plastic surgery done. It's such an insanely big lie I don't know how to interpret it. She's clearly awful and spends all her time nagging him and giving him shit.

Is she smart too? Smart and funny?

I don't know, but she's probably brave.

So brave.

Has she ever said one funny thing on his podcast?

I wouldn't be surprised if eventually she's going to be the hole of Bill's podcast.

Already is =/

Of his bank account.

Women are smart and funny you guys, get over it.

I don't see anything controversial about this, since there are no funny stand-ups anymore. It could easily be an insult.

Hmm 🤔

Vos said this about Bonnie.

Jay Mohr said this about Nikki.

And now Bill.

Maybe he's happy, I hope he is, but I can't ever believe a comic when they say that. It sounds so fake, especially from him.

at least Bonnie was/is an actual comedian

Well, Nikki Cox was nominated for a "Best Comedy Album" Grammy for writing Jay Mohr's special, so she's obviously hysterical.

By the way, do you think Jay Mohr regrets going everywhere and gushing that she was pretty much the comedic brain behind his career over the past few years?

I think he might.

yeah, but at least Nikki Cox (currently) looks like a super model

she looks like a busted sewer grate

yes, I know. I was doing that thing when you don't say the truth

Oqieing?

she looks like a concept car.

Maybe the one Homer created for his brother.....at best

wasnt it the last ditch effort to save their marriage

Never trust a comedian's opinion of other comedians. They are too invested in networking to have actual opinions. Pretty sure I've heard Norton describe both kindler and small as good comics, for example

reminder that nick "the don" dipalo once said kindler is the shit

A ton of people have given props to Kindler. My only guess is he is a Jew comedy gatekeeper who makes and breaks people with his influence. I know his fanily is very rich and why else would he get the opportunity to deliver the "comedy state of the union"?

Schinkelboutit

Yeah, like when guys talk about Chris D'Elia like he's fucking George Carlin. Guy has been doing stand up like 5 years. He's Amy Schumer with a cock, and Dane Cook with even less talent.

He better have never kissed Ralphie May's fat ass.

Agreed. Anyone who thinks Schumer and Papa are funny has questionable values, to be sure.

I find Tom Papa funny when he's doing stand up

He's on the road 25 weeks of the year... so he can only see her half the year, max.

Remember when she was pissed at him because he was leaving to go to an awards ceremony and then he came back once he realized that it was actually next week. Sounds like she was pissed because her boyfriend couldn't come over

You think she is cucking ole Billy Red Nips?

Tom Arnold 20 years ago is the only person who could say it without being full of shit.

It's the only thing he can lie about to prop her up. He can't say she's beautiful, industrious, smart or accomplished.

Strong, I bet she's strong.

she was bred for it

Oh she strong... she fukt up dat foo antony cumio in time sqares so bad he needed ups

You get stronger protecting blood diamonds.

Or white.

She is more likely to be Caucasian than in any way funny.

Oh, that made my day. She has ruined Burr. He got rid of his truck, his drums, and his fucking dog because she told him to.

He's also gonna give up the house and most of his future earnings as well.

He also takes care of all the work around the house because she's too much of a strong, independent woman to do anything!

Oh, right! He tried to fuss at her about turning the water line off, but she wasn't having it. I forgot that!

Wait did he really get rid of his drums?

Out of the house, yes. He said he goes to a studio for drum time.

That is depressing. He sounds so gleeful when he talks about drumming.

He talked about his truck in pretty glowing terms too on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffe.

So it turns out that Patrice was the fat, black Jiminy Cricket of the comedy world.

Nia walks into the living room, " a lot of white people in here tonight".

She passive-aggressively bitches about him through hack def comedy jam bits. "You ever notice how these white niggas leave they stanky drawers on the floor? I be like 'this ain't no hotel, cracka, clean yo' shit up.'"

"Ladies, lets talk about fire-red pubes on the bathroom floor? Can we...puh-leeeeeeze?"

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssss

"Women, let's be real fo a hot minute. Ain't no sista trying to fuck a man who's dick look like Beaker from The Muppets. Okaaaaay? Yeah, mah girl over there know. Thas why she laughin. She know."

"white people leaving on a comedy tour all be like, please feed the baby, clean up the house a little, go easy on my credit cards..."

LOL so damn true. Bill has mentioned how he cleans the house so Nia has nothing to complain about. Not only is he working his ass off but he also does all of the housework so his lazy wife doesn't have to do anything.

Damn, Bill Burr is a pussy now

she didn't even take his last name

This is because she would never take a white man's name. Has nothing to do with feminism or any bullshit like that. I think its the same reason she didn't have his kid. She won't have a white man's child. The bitch is completely psychotic.

"I tell em nigga pleease my mama need a new house"

Where my black folks at? There so many white people, I feel like I'm at a rally for the klan! It's ok white people. I'm not here to rob you!

• Nia doing her totally original stand up

The most groundbreaking material since "Eddie Murphy Raw."

"AHHHHH MY MAN LAUGHIN' CAUSE HE KNOW!"

"Too many white people? Funny how nobody ever says 'not enough black people'."

Anthony Jeselnik during the Mike Tyson roast

"How many y'all llike sex? Ah, my man laughing cuz he know he ain't gettin any."

How many y'all like sex?

"Whats happenin with these crackas and they drumsets? my man, all day, bang bang bang on he drums.. i aint havin it. oh fa'real? that's your drumset?? well this is my baby cause guess what sugar, it sho as hell aint yours! hey hey heeeey!"

Well I don't know about you guys but when I listen to Bill's podcast and Nia comes on. I laugh and laugh and laugh because she's soooooooooooooooooooo funny!

and smart too!

Don't forget strong and independent!

Brave. Fierce.

I should add I cannot verify the quote. I don't listen to Stern, I only listen to funny shows.

45 mins of commercials followed by 45 mins of wig talk not your cup of tea?

I like when they play 20 old clips from the 80's before the show comes back from commercial.

so the sam show?

He means in the ape sense, this animal is a real riot.

Its funny when they put on human clothes and smoke cigarettes n shit

Boy....she sucked all the reality & pride out of his rotten irish pecker.

2010 Bill was a goldmine, 2017 Bill is just sad. Like an empty shell of what used to be

I'd be afraid that silverback would suck me inside out with that mouth.

So moving to California has increased his levels of delusion that much?

Yep

Jumpin' Jeff Farmer

It's almost as if no one here knows her personally.

I met her when she was working at the Bronx Zoo many years ago

When you have a podcast and your husband tells personal stories for a living, you can't really claim that people don't know you personally because they kind of do. Unless their marriage is just one big Andy Kauffmann style gag, anyone with a brain who has listened to their podcast has kind of figured out what is going on between them.

This is how stalkers think.

I have never once listened to their podcast. I'm just using logic.

I didn't say you are stalking them, I'm just saying that's the logic stalkers use.

Have you heard her on his podcast? She is terribly unfunny.

Possibly he's happy, I only listen to Bill's podcast and Nia comes on.

"Me-undies, Me-undies. No more sw*OH MY GOD! NIA! PUT DOWN THE BABY NIEEEEEEAAAAAAAA!"

Here's a detailed description of the interview, scroll down to 9:10 http://www.marksfriggin.com/news17/6-5.htm#wed

He said he watched 2 hours of Gotham. He said it was so good he had to watch it all. He said he DVRs it all. He said he had to see the full 2 hours of that. Howard said it's very good. Howard said he likes the people on the show. Howard said one of Beth's cats was adopted by the woman who plays Catwoman on the show

Fuck me. Who's the bigger cunt: Howard Stern, or the poor sop who writes this shit?

He missed out on a decade of hot pussy for her

He's also given away his drums, his truck, his dog, his money, he works AND takes care of all the work around the house. And remember when he had to beg and plead to Nia to buy a grill. It's sad listening to his podcast now.

She probably purposely ruins his orgasms to get her sick kicks

I can't believe he has to do all the house work. We need to yell at his friends.

He's even talked about how his friends give him shit for doing all the work. His excuse is "well now she has nothing to complain about."

The last time I listened to Bill was around when he first got that dog. Anyway from memory she was the one who bought it and demanded he deal with it. So technically it was hers.

Bill loved that dog within the first week he got it. He's had that dog for years and talked about how devastated he was when he had to give it away.

This is the worst emotional abuse a woman can put a man (with whom she doesn't have a kid) through.

Stand up comedy funny

Bowling shoe ugly

He's finished.

This is not the way a person should start the day. Ruined before it even began

Is she like, a mythological succubus or something? How the fuck does she have this much of a psychological hold on somebody? Like everybody has had relationships were they became kind of faggy for their girlfriend's sake, but this is Jim Jones level shit.

No prenup

She must have a magical pussy.

If you remember his older specials, the implication he made was he was worried about being old and single (coming home for the holidays at 40 alone, having to make a choice to become an old creep, etc).

I think he Panicked and matried the first female he met who he knew would say yes.

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IF that was true, she'd have a career other than gold-digging

Maybe he meant within the parameters of female stand-up. Then it's not really as outrageous a declaration as it may seem. The marquee comediennes of today aren't exactly setting the bar to heights that female civilians in all of our lives couldn't reach.

Jim Noton probably the funniest of the bunch..that aint sayin much for comediennes.

Jim Norton with a close second Vic Henley in my opinion.

ITT: Neckbearded kissless virgins outraged over someone's healthy relationship

Oh hi Billy! Stopped listening to your podcast since you hired your ape wife as the hole... Glad you stopped by to say hello here tho! Good day sir!

haha oh man this one really stings because it's funny and accurate!

Yes, the only way to get laid is to agree that ugly, gold digging, feminist whores are funny! Although I will say that I'm impressed you've figured out how to use a keyboard or is Bill typing for you?

No not kissless thank you, I've enjoyed passionate exchanges with my Mother regularly. Who's feelin silly now pal?

Who hasn't?

This.

These halfqueer fatfucks can't stand to see a strong vibrant women in a loving partnership with the father of her beautiful child, or her union with Bill either.

Strong, I hope he is, but I can't say she's soooooooooooooooooooo funny!

At this point I think we should all be incredibly supportive of Nia's standup career so she can get too confident and comfortable and start bitching about Billy on stage.

She must be saving her good stuff. Every time she makes an appearance on his podcast she's an overbearing, humourless, awful shrew.

Nia: You better tell Stern that you married me for my sense of humor or don't even think of watching Lamar Odom fuck me while you edge, again!

HOW MANY YALL LIKE SEX

meesa like de sexx bawwsss

Stand up and leave comic level funny

I am gay now

asl?

ICQ numbah?

All the ladies who ain't nevah let they man handle they business say "Ayyyy". Yo how you mufukas doin y'all? You ever make a man kill his dog, dawg?

Then get her to start opening for you Billy boy.

"and that stand up comic, Doug Benson"

He meant to say that she looks like Charlie Murphy

Nia "Hamburger" Burr.

Sit-down-on-the-bus level uppity.

....and has horse-teeth level gums.

eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww

Brendan Schaub gets spots at The Comedy Store now. Guys like Ari and Diaz weep when they talk about getting a chance to play at The Store....now, anybody with a podcast can be "a comic" if they draw enough.

Im sure Burr's wife would fill as many seats and be every bit as funny as the last female roast comic you saw.

Its like his brain has gone into some kind of protective self-preservation mode. He's in complete denial and will probably end up having some kind of complete psychotic meltdown.

I've been racking my brain trying to think of some kind of reference to a gorilla standing up/sitting down, but I got nothing so I'll just call his wife an ugly nigger.

Bill Burr is soooooo fucking pasty white, that I'll bet his super sperm overpowered Nias dominant Nubian genes, and that baby was the hue of a baby rat when she shat it out.

Well he's not wrong. I probably have laughed at Nia more then I have laughed at many stand up comics that I have seen.

Hell, I've probably laughed more just from him saying this then I have laughed at quite a few stand up comedians.

He's propping her up for a run at a stand up career. Guarantee she asked Bill to talk her up because she hasn't had luck being an actress or doing anything of note.

She's already sick of being a mom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tK4p9Sp7aGk

"And then I divorced her and married a soulsucking shrew."

I love these 'let's trash Nia' threads

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There is no way he said that. No fucking way.

Oh he's going the Jay Mohrs route. Soon enough he'll be crediting Nia for his specials and then breaking down in tears on the Monday Morning Podcast

The divorce is imminent.

Jim Noton probably the funniest of the bunch..that aint sayin much for comediennes.

This is how stalkers think.

To be fair, neither of them had that.

Fair enough.

I just don't care that much. I've never understand why anyone would go out of their way to have sex.

It's sarcasm(maybe?) in saying that simply trying to find a girl I like, instead of studying some draconian theory of female psychology is nihilist.