Can you imagine Opie as your doctor? checks your heartbeat with stetheoscope "Vury good, vury good."

Aite, nigga, your ribs HURTIN' to-day?

checking your testicles for cancer

That's a niiiiiiice piece there, I got a niiiiiice piece too"

don't forget he was lights-out from twenty feet.

And modeling

Those are some hip & happening neck wrinkles.

Neck all long like that kid from the GameStop commercial.

...and science. He was meant to be a doctor or sumpthin'.

Anyone ever notice that Opie looks like a down syndrome guy who had his head photo-shopped to a normal size?

But does he look worse than E-rock?

Yes, because if Erock ever lost weight he'd look normal. Opie would need major surgery to even attempt that.

Make it a hang, brotherman.

Opie can be the mascot for Toys 'R Us.