I did judo at primary school and ever since then i've known adults who do any form of martial art are try hard dickheads. I think i was 8 when i realised it was all abit pathetic.
Even now I'll still have occasional moments of clarity in the middle of sparring where I'll be wedged in between another gentlemans legs, glance around the mats and just see a roomful of other pudgy middle aged men grunting and sweating on top of teenage kids in their pajamas and wonder what the fuck led me to this point in my life.
It does completely wreck your spine though, so every cloud...
I tried abit of ju jitsu when i was younger because im an insecure guy and think learning how to fight might make me less anxious. It was really gross and gay. At one point some dudes sweat flew into my mouth while sparring and i almost threw up on him. I said fuck that and now just take 120mg of cymbalta for my anxiety instead.
If you had shown me this when I was 14 years old....
That I would have to exist in a world where two people like this thrive and are praised, I would have taken a heroin cocktail.
I remember when UFC wasn't even that big, then around 2004 I started to see TapOut shirts and stickers on people's cars, and then by 2005 or so you couldn't say the word "jujitsu" without sounding like a fucking douchebag.
It's what happens any time California tries to contribute to culture. Try hard middle Americans and weekend warriors are so devoid of happiness and desperate to seem hip to the outside/real world that they glom onto any and every scalable coastal hobby.
Motorcycles in the 80s, surfing/skateboarding/BMX in the 90s to early 00s, MMA in the late 00s to five years ago. From Harley to Hurley to Headrush in 30 years.
Another reminder: Guy Ritchie got himself circumcised in his late 30's/early 40's because his then-wife Madonna was dabbling with Kabbalah and told him to
It's the first thing out of his mouth any time he talks to anyone with a tie, it's kinda telling. "Oh I see you have a dog on a leash, don't you know I could grab that leash from you and strangle you and your dog at the same time with it?"
34 comments
n/a Peckahnator 2017-05-07
DO THE BIT
n/a TheDarkFezRises 2017-05-07
He's like an 8 year old me after watching my Van Damme videos.
n/a Crownenberg 2017-05-07
You ever see Double Impact. Van Damme has a twin in it. And there's a hot blonde who they're both hot for. You can imagine the hijinks that ensue
n/a TheDarkFezRises 2017-05-07
You ever see hard target when he punches a snake and knocks it out? That's how real men hunt animals.
n/a Dennyislife 2017-05-07
I did judo at primary school and ever since then i've known adults who do any form of martial art are try hard dickheads. I think i was 8 when i realised it was all abit pathetic.
n/a Crownenberg 2017-05-07
I would like to be able to fight but I don't wanna roll around on the floor with out men in a gi to get there. The trade off isn't worth it to me.
n/a Dennyislife 2017-05-07
My first teacher was a woman. She used to press her boobies against us.
n/a Crownenberg 2017-05-07
What a treat
n/a throwawizzlemahnizzl 2017-05-07
RAD!!
n/a zenicaone 2017-05-07
did your second teacher press his dick against your ass though?
n/a Dennyislife 2017-05-07
Sadly no
n/a giantpish 2017-05-07
I started training about a couple of years ago.
Even now I'll still have occasional moments of clarity in the middle of sparring where I'll be wedged in between another gentlemans legs, glance around the mats and just see a roomful of other pudgy middle aged men grunting and sweating on top of teenage kids in their pajamas and wonder what the fuck led me to this point in my life.
It does completely wreck your spine though, so every cloud...
n/a JohnQNo1 2017-05-07
I tried abit of ju jitsu when i was younger because im an insecure guy and think learning how to fight might make me less anxious. It was really gross and gay. At one point some dudes sweat flew into my mouth while sparring and i almost threw up on him. I said fuck that and now just take 120mg of cymbalta for my anxiety instead.
n/a harrisongooch 2017-05-07
Find a boxing gym
n/a TriangleDimes 2017-05-07
So you took some after school judo at some mall and you came to the conclusion that all martial arts are dumb?
n/a Dennyislife 2017-05-07
It was in the school gym fuckface. And yes. I was a perceptive 8 year old
n/a TriangleDimes 2017-05-07
It's somehow worse that it was at your school.
n/a Dennyislife 2017-05-07
I did another 'art' ( how pretentious) at a proper place too. Only a few times. Involved weapons. Total dickheads there.
n/a Crownenberg 2017-05-07
I like how negative you are about everything. It's endearing.
n/a MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2017-05-07
Look where you are.
n/a TriangleDimes 2017-05-07
Were you wearing your army surplus jacket and calling them all phonies?
n/a I_want_Forbin 2017-05-07
Yes. You could tell the ninja turtles apart
n/a realister 2017-05-07
I doubt he can reach it
n/a Purplestahli 2017-05-07
Hed have to get a stepstool to get near my neck tho.
n/a unprovoked_hate 2017-05-07
i hate joe rogan, but he could kill me if i had a knife
n/a BigPenisMcGinty 2017-05-07
If you had shown me this when I was 14 years old.... That I would have to exist in a world where two people like this thrive and are praised, I would have taken a heroin cocktail.
n/a breadmoccasin 2017-05-07
I remember when UFC wasn't even that big, then around 2004 I started to see TapOut shirts and stickers on people's cars, and then by 2005 or so you couldn't say the word "jujitsu" without sounding like a fucking douchebag.
n/a RamonFrunkis 2017-05-07
It's what happens any time California tries to contribute to culture. Try hard middle Americans and weekend warriors are so devoid of happiness and desperate to seem hip to the outside/real world that they glom onto any and every scalable coastal hobby.
Motorcycles in the 80s, surfing/skateboarding/BMX in the 90s to early 00s, MMA in the late 00s to five years ago. From Harley to Hurley to Headrush in 30 years.
n/a DrunkenJaguar 2017-05-07
Low Rogan is like Donatello on alpha brain. SoOo iSnt this greAt?
n/a CoolerKing37 2017-05-07
Another reminder: Guy Ritchie got himself circumcised in his late 30's/early 40's because his then-wife Madonna was dabbling with Kabbalah and told him to
n/a stonepitbull141 2017-05-07
That turned out to be a smart move, though. If Joe Rogan got a hold of that foreskin... you're dead.
n/a I_want_Forbin 2017-05-07
Lock, Stock and one snipped barrel
n/a Joemomma101 2017-05-07
He said the same thing when Gavin was on.
n/a NinthReich 2017-05-07
It's the first thing out of his mouth any time he talks to anyone with a tie, it's kinda telling. "Oh I see you have a dog on a leash, don't you know I could grab that leash from you and strangle you and your dog at the same time with it?"
n/a dahnk_u_muhnk 2017-05-07
O-N-N-I-T
n/a Toss__Pot 2017-05-07
kill you with your tie? .. Oh yeh, THAT's why Master Po wore a clip-on
n/a Crownenberg 2017-05-07
You ever see Double Impact. Van Damme has a twin in it. And there's a hot blonde who they're both hot for. You can imagine the hijinks that ensue
n/a Dennyislife 2017-05-07
It was in the school gym fuckface. And yes. I was a perceptive 8 year old