Punch Sherrod in the face live on the air. You're just going to hit his tongue anyway.

Hold an acid drinking contest for just the hosts. Last one standing gets to fluff Ellis.

make out with Vic.

Say something funny at any point in your entire life. Start using the words "nigger" and "faggot" really often to ingratiate yourself back into this fine community.

Set up six cameras on a live feed, place a stool in the center of them, and hang yourself.

4 shotgun blasts.