Tell Me About Losing Your Job

9  2017-05-01 by majestik6

I've got a meeting scheduled in an hour and I think I'm getting the axe. "Your Mom's Box" and all that.

So... Tell me about losing your job.

46 comments

n/a  PeeSoup3030 2017-05-01

When I did real man work in between schooling I got fired for going on a 3 day cocaine and crack binge

n/a  immersion-killing 2017-05-01

Don't make you a bad person...

n/a  stupidfatbobkelly 2017-05-01

My boss told me the company was on a train to a new direction and they didn't buy me a ticket.

n/a  PeeSoup3030 2017-05-01

Thats fucking gay

n/a  majestik6 2017-05-01

In my job, I am basically that dude in Office Space that works in the basement:

1) I have a work from home job working for a big technology company

2) We barely have any work to do. I have literally done 20 hours of work in 2017. Not 20 hours a week, 20 hours this whole year.

3) But I have a really weird skillset that's hard to find, so they pay me really well

4) I'm so far under the radar, I once had to remind my boss that I'd been working there since 2014. (He thought I was a new hire.)

I feel like I've been on a three year gravy train that's coming to an end :(

n/a  PeeSoup3030 2017-05-01

I work in tech too with a rare skill set, proteomics and genomics

n/a  majestik6 2017-05-01

It's a great field to be in, I'm just kinda bummed that I'll have to actually go to work in an office. Being semi-retired is fucking great.

n/a  PeeSoup3030 2017-05-01

Besides being constantly sick offices aren't that bad. What do you specialize in?

n/a  majestik6 2017-05-01

IT automation, basically writing scripts to automate the deployment of servers and software

n/a  PeeSoup3030 2017-05-01

I can see how that is rare in the US. Where do you plan on applying to?

n/a  majestik6 2017-05-01

I've never had much luck applying for jobs, it seems like the resumes just go into a black hole

Our competition has been trying to recruit me for about 18 months, I kept telling them I wasn't going to jump ship unless anything changed at the place that I work.

Now that it has...

n/a  KnickedUp 2017-05-01

Eeeerily similar situation here...though I probably do more like 12 hours of real work per week...

n/a  immersion-killing 2017-05-01

Did your boss actually say that? Can't tell if that's hilarious or the most punchable thing ever.

n/a  karmacompanion 2017-05-01

Did you call / feedback this into the show? I remember this line.

n/a  unprovoked_hate 2017-05-01

This one time, I had to fire a female employee because when she spoke to a key client on the phone, she consistently called him " Gandalf" instead of "Gundolf".

Not exactly what you were hoping for, but a true story nonetheless.

n/a  I-take-beast-shits 2017-05-01

My friend, you bow to no one

n/a  immersion-killing 2017-05-01

Genuinely curious as to how you were able to fire her for that, and how it was presented to her.

n/a  unprovoked_hate 2017-05-01

She was still in her 3 month test period

n/a  immersion-killing 2017-05-01

Ah. The reason I ask is, it's actually remarkably hard to fire someone in most cases (as you're probably aware). I've found that sometimes the documentation and additional attention one needs to "build a case" for termination can be as much of a pain in the ass as having a shitty employee. Knamean?

n/a  unprovoked_hate 2017-05-01

I know exactly what you mean. I was trying to figure out how to get rid of an idiot employee for years and was very graceful when he developed a nice depression.

n/a  immersion-killing 2017-05-01

Yeah it's great if they have the decency to just completely fall apart on their own. I wish more employees had that kind of "lay down and die" attitude.

n/a  unprovoked_hate 2017-05-01

THERE'S THE JOKE! Finally someone said what we were all thinking.

n/a  unprovoked_hate 2017-05-01

Oh and I just told her that she is just not a good fit personally due to the workload she might experience blabla

n/a  unprovoked_hate 2017-05-01

This one time I worked as a DJ in a rock bar, but I was so high on methadon and got super drunk and played hip hop, which no one liked, and called people faggots

n/a  immersion-killing 2017-05-01

Stinks alt?

n/a  JansVespa 2017-05-01

My boss told me I was pizza but he wanted hamburger.

n/a  unprovoked_hate 2017-05-01

Hammmmburger

n/a  unprovoked_hate 2017-05-01

This is not the FU line

n/a  Dennyislife 2017-05-01

Worked for a small company. Boss killed his wife then himself.

n/a  majestik6 2017-05-01

oh shit

n/a  immersion-killing 2017-05-01

Yowza. I'd love to see the minutes for staff meeting after that.

n/a  Dennyislife 2017-05-01

The son kept it going for a few months. It was sad. He's dead too now. Became a alcoholic and died drink driving about a year ago.

n/a  immersion-killing 2017-05-01

In the spirit of this sub, I hereby choose to find this hilarious.

n/a  Dennyislife 2017-05-01

It is.

n/a  [deleted] 2017-05-01

[removed]

n/a  Ant_Sucks 2017-05-01

Show up to the meeting in a wheelchair, and then make them fire you.

n/a  majestik6 2017-05-01

Well, it's official, I was right.

Just lost my job.

On the upside, I have to admit that they were pretty honest about it. The last time that this happened to me, they didn't really explain why, and it always bugged me that I never knew if I lost my job for doing it poorly, or if it was something else entirely.

n/a  DannytheGOAT 2017-05-01

Dw man after a week or two the feeling of being a useless zilch fades and then you feel somewhat free.

n/a  JerkStoreJ 2017-05-01

And you can get unemployment too

n/a  TriangleDimes 2017-05-01

It was probably you, and they all talked about it behind your back.

n/a  goo-gobbler 2017-05-01

Well, looks like they renegotiated to $0

n/a  bonniesretardsister 2017-05-01

Gregg?

n/a  majestik6 2017-05-01

Ha! I'd love it if Opie came on here and complained about getting axed.

n/a  TedsEmporiumEmporium 2017-05-01

It really sucks at first and it's an enormous inconvenience. My first job out of college was at IBM as a software engineer.

I was there for about 1.5 years. I got a mediocre performance review (I still don't think it was warranted) and I had a talk with my manager about improving it (going on a plan, etc.) so I wasn't too worried. I thought "eh, I'm not getting a raise this year. Oh well." Then I read up and heard about how IBM was instituting another round of layoffs. Fast forward a week and I have a meeting with my manager over the phone to get the news that I was going to be out of a job in a month. Luckily I was able to collect a paycheck for the next month + severance and I didn't have to come into the office so I could spend most of my days doing job search shit and watch TV. I started my current (better) job less than two months later and moved to a better location. I've since been promoted and make much more now than I would have had I stayed at that job.

n/a  immersion-killing 2017-05-01

What is this, Chicken Soup for the Corporate Soul? Get da fuck outta here with this feel-good shit.

n/a  majestik6 2017-05-01

In my 20s and 30s I was a dedicated employee, but I noticed a pattern. First, my coworkers who couldn't figure things out weren't fired, they were just given less work. Second, if I did my job well I was awarded with piles and piles of work and the boss made sure I knew that everything depended on me.

It was really stressful, and by the time I was 35 I'd basically adopted the attitude of Peter Gibbons from Office Space.

It's served me really well, and I never would have imagined that I'd have a job where I "work at home" and do a few hours of work each month. This has been going on for close to a decade now.

Sometimes I feel like I should write a book about it, but people get angry with me when I tell them how little I work. I think that THEY think that I'm doing something immoral. But I don't think that I am; engineering is one of those fields where the only real reward for doing your job well is more and more and more work. IE, if you're a salesperson and you sell like crazy, you get a commission. If you're an engineer and you engineer like crazy, you just get more work to do.

n/a  EncinoEscobar 2017-05-01

Out of pure jelousy I hope you die screaming.

n/a  majestik6 2017-05-01

I would be more than happy to show anyone and everyone how to do as little work as possible while collecting a large paycheck.

I've done consulting work for dozens of companies that you'd recognize and I noticed a distinct pattern:

1) the really talented dudes were buried under a mountain of work

2) there were people who were completely useless and they outnumbered the talent by five to one

3) the talentless and the talented collected the same paycheck

n/a  porsalin 2017-05-01

I didn't get paid for 3 months at a small recruitment firm so me and a colleague stole every electronics device in there. PC's, laptops, phones. Ended up being well over what we were owed. Our boss had bailiffs in all week and told us all to not answer the door. He didn't reply to our demand saying we'd give him his shit back if he paid us so we sold it for $$

n/a  majestik6 2017-05-01

It's a great field to be in, I'm just kinda bummed that I'll have to actually go to work in an office. Being semi-retired is fucking great.

n/a  majestik6 2017-05-01

Well, it's official, I was right.

Just lost my job.

On the upside, I have to admit that they were pretty honest about it. The last time that this happened to me, they didn't really explain why, and it always bugged me that I never knew if I lost my job for doing it poorly, or if it was something else entirely.

n/a  goo-gobbler 2017-05-01

Well, looks like they renegotiated to $0

n/a  immersion-killing 2017-05-01

Stinks alt?