I think he's just finally taken a look at the baby and realized the negroid features and the darker skin aren't really from him.

Ever notice those kids have a year round tan.

Cmon charlie the fat one has a bigger dick than me.

Cmon charlie the fat one has a bigger dick than me.

He could slam dunk at the age of five

So Anthony is the father?

If Ant doesn't die or get incarcerated it'll be the greatest form of karma when he knocks up some dopey 18 year old at 62 years old.

The male postpartum thing is legit. The first 3 months of my kid's life i was a walking panic attack. And I'd get to work in the morning and just feel sad. Like i abandoned my family or something.

Fag.

Uh oh virgin neck-beard anger has been activated

You just got buzzed by the pork clerk I see. He's a wild man

Buzzed? What does that even mean? Don't try to use young people slang, middle aged faggot.

Ring me up a pork shoulder sandwich with some green beans, bitch.

Damn, he's obsessed with your age

He really is. It's so funny. From a psychological standpoint he really is a guinea pig for me. He's obsessed with three things- drugs, obesity and advancing age. It is absolutely hilarious how he'll just pop up out of nowhere and call me out on of those three topics. He'd be a great troll if he wasn't so serious.

OHH yea, I was reading his history.

You heard the man. Ring him up for a pork shoulder sandwich and a green bean before you're fired. I don't pay you to fuck around here.

When you put this much energy into coming up with a comeback it makes it real obvious how bad your feelings were hurt. :)

I'm just amused by you. I've told you that. Not hurt. You're just a real character. You've messaged me many times about snorting pills and being fat, although I do/am neither. And for the past few weeks, you've been commenting on how old I am, like that's something that I'm sensitive about. You're hilarious, man.

Now you're explaining yourself to me because you're embarrassed.

Stop internet stalking me. I made one joke once. Sorry, learn to take a joke.

Pork shoulder sandwich. Get on it.

The male postpartum thing is legit.

if you are faggot.

I'm sorry that I'm white and my instincts tell me to stay with my family.

My instincts tell me to downvote everything in this thread.

So edgy

You should stay with your ancestors instead

But are your kids white?

I did an ethnic dna test while they were in the womb. I wasn't going to be taken for even one check up bill.

Hmmm so you suspected, very telling.

Jamal kept coming to house to "eat dis cracka bitch up and make herz pregnant" which raised some suspicions

cuck

dude the first 2 years of my kids life I wanted to die

It gets better though

But only if you don't cover the light socket

so can we get back to not talking about this and drinking scotch like real men used to? #pissyeyes

Probably the weeks of no sleep and no fucking.

I AM ABANDONED MY CHILD! I ABANDONED MY BOY!

GET OUT OF HERE DEVIL!

GET OUT OF HERE DEVIL!

BOY IN A (CHICKEN STRIP) BASKET!

*A BASTARD IN A BASKET

GET OUT OF HERE DEVIL!

Hello, my name is bonecrushingkisses. Ill have a whiskey for myself and a glass of milk for the boy.

See my username? Recreate it with your family so I don't have to read anything you post again.

Or go use a phallic object as a chair right? You unoriginal try hard fuck.

Telling someone to pull a Benoit is pretty original dude. Be more constructive with your criticism.

Would've been more original if he told him to pull an R. Budd Dwyer.

Ooooh that's true!

Lol

Why would you say that here?

On 2 hours of sleep and had normal thoughts. My bad.

Your bad indeed.

You abandoned roul chird!

You're telling me I can feel the joy of abandoning my obligations on the daily without accumulating visceral hatred towards me?

Strangely I felt the need to work longer hours.

He can no longer eat Dino Nuggets

I still eat dino nuggets. They are my favorite of all the Tyson chicken products

That's because ur fat

And you dress like a European faggot with a fixie bike. I hope a Walmart semi driver is behind you on your next ride

Hey man, I was just playing around. Take it back

Fuck you and Bob Kelly.

Feel free

Good. He doesn't deserve to be happy.

Nobody does.

...maaaaaaaaaannnnnn

You don't like his poetic tortured nihilism?

How do you faggots not get a simple joke?

Shut up and take it.

*take the hit

What about a middle class chick who likes to imagine her life is a Jennifer Aniston movie?

I think OP is correct. He is no longer the center of attention at home or with Bobbie. He resents being forced to "grow-up" because he is now a father. He is no longer in complete control and doing whatever makes #1 happy, he has a kid to think about now.

I can't wait until Jess reads all the parenting articles about processed foods and preservatives. The day she bans chicken nuggets and fast food from their house will be a death blow to Sam.

The day she bans Fivehead from the house will be a red letter day fir us.

No joke. He may literally die from starvation.

It probably doesn't help him that eating shitty will 100% exacerbate anxiety and depression.

Like the marriage will last long enough for that to happen

That will be the day sam pays tribute to Chris Benoit

The he should stop visiting this sub.

I fucking hope he kills himself in front of his nigger spawn and cunt dyke husband

Tss tell us how ya really feel cawk sucka!

This is the clever, hard-hitting, provocative conent we all come to r/opieandanthony for. Thankyou for your contribution sir! Wow! Speechless 10/10!!!!!

If sam R. Bud Dweyers himself on the wrestling pre-show no one will see it

If a freakish faggot blows his brains out on a preshow no one watches, does he truly make a sound?

To be fair, I'd probably be depressed if I had a child also. I just don't understand why any man would have a child in this day and age. Kids fucking blow.

Kids aren't born shitty.. it's adults that blow. Thus shitty kids.

That's the world we live in unfortunately.

I would have to argue that point. Babies come out being selfish assholes who just shit and eat and make noise.

A good parent has to break their spirit and then shape them into the least shitty person possible.

It's bad parents that create pissy-eye bitches like Tranth. Well, that or questionable Uncles, suuuuuure.

Dammit, you have a point there. Fuckin assholes

This is true but also I always think about it in terms of potential sadness. The more people you let into your life, the more someone you care about might die. Why would I want to have a kid when it could die and ruin my life and relationship with it's mother? There's just not a lot to gain from it.

You "gain" spreading your genetic lineage. Otherwise you end up an old cuck with no kids no family, no one to remember you. Or you end up as an old couple with no kids and expendable cash that gets to ball out every year with trips to florida. Hey wait a minute.....

Exactly. I'm married with no kids and we get to do whatever the fuck we want when we want, meanwhile other couples are age are always fighting with each other because of their kids, can't spend any money on anything fun, or ever go anywhere without it being a place they can bring those little shits.

Motherfucker, I used to have your life. I have a kid (6 months old). I love that little hell razor to death and I don't regret having kids but my life is pretty much up side down. The relationship I have with the wife took a hit. We used to do whatever we want and still keep up with work but now we wake up 2 am, 6 am to a crying child. But it's weird, even through I'm exhausted most of the time having a kid really made me become happy for the first time in a long life of pure shit. Never thought it would happen since a I used to be such a broken piece of shit,

It's not for everyone through

Well good for you then, I guess. I just know a kid could never make me as happy as say...Metal Gear Solid 3 did. Even if it possibly could that's a risk I don't want to take cause if it doesn't work out then I have to find a place to bury the little bugger's body, and do all that work.

It takes one to know one and i'd say you're a true man-child.

Calm your tits, breeder.

Mgs3: substance was the only playable version.

True, both statements. I don't even acknowledge standard MGS3's existence.

Dude still with the middle of the night wake up? You're not doing something foolish like breastfeeding are ya? That fucker should be 11 straight at a minimum at this point.

No breast feeding, forumla and shit like that. It's killing me

Of all the interesting places in the world to travel to, you pick Florida. Rather telling.

I like to think Florida is like in Revenge of the Nerds II.

In the winter thats where old people from canada go. Espesically those pepsi drinking, dart smoking Quebecers

ball out w trips to fl.

like maxin and relaxin in Hendry County? lol

Not having kids means you can end up looking like a creepy old uncle ruining a nice family photo of when you swam with the dolphins.

My wife and I just had our first a month ago...it's difficult but it teaches you to be less of a selfish ass. It also makes the little things you pleasure in life that much more valuable, since you don't have the time to become a jaded faggot jerking off and playing video games all day.

There's also that whole thing about how reproducing is all animals' primary biological imperative. Humans in the west have become such lazy hedonistic zilches obsessed with celebrities, social media, and getting a chemical buzz.

I would say we are far more advanced apes. I've never seen an ape build...anything really. When Apes are exploiting chinese workers to make smart phones then I'd say we're slightly more advanced.

Fair enough. I guess it's a matter of perspective. Sure we can fly planes and compose operas, but we are still so tribalistic that we murder each other for not believing in the right deity.

Plus, we are the same species as Joe Cumia. I certainly don't consider him much more advanced than your average chimp.

Niggas be killing each other for food maaaaaan

Fry that chicken fry that chicken.

Don't be racist bro

Playing video games and masturbating all day sounds wonderful compared to taking care of a baby. I like having the freedom to be a complete loser.

Loser is what breeders call people who live the life they really want to live.

I'm gonna be a faggot here, but taking care of my little brother and watching him grow up has been more rewarding than the years of video games and masturbating. The freedom to be a complete loser is depression.

Why not do both?

If you have a good woman it's not that hard or life changing. Unfortunately most people don't know how to have a relationship and hold onto it.

Dont you listen to your uncle anthony. No they cant. Youll go to prison.

I thought maybe guilt from being away from his wife and kid at such a difficult time those first few months.

Then, I remembered we're taking about Sam. So it's probably because the Rock acknowledged Jim in a tweet about the Stathom interview and not him.

Good.

Sam thinks its show related but its life. His life is over. He had a kid. Ha ha.

This is why I only cum on my girlfriends tits

Is he jealous now his mom's breastfeeding his son?

Postpartum depression. Sounds like Sammys kids gonna turn up in a suitcase at the side if a highway.

Sam should have never had a kid.

Nature tried to stop it

skimming this thread makes me embarrassed to be included in this group of people

You should be thinking that when you read any thread.

This thread belongs in /r/daddit

Or he looked at the ugly procreation he's produced. Ugly ass baby.

What a fucking asshole this kid is.

Has his first child and he's sulking and "depressed" instead of riding out something that should be an amazing time.

What a cunt.

I honestly think it's because things at WWE haven't gone how he thought they would. That's his dream and I think he got there and found out it's a shit hole, or they don't like him and he's depressed. Reading this sub at a period where he sucks on-air won't cheer him up.

I think he felt that as "the last professional broadcaster" he'd be the next Mean Gene.

He was incorrect.

I hope he has a gun

He's horrible. His wife sounds horrible. They've produced a horrible child. That's why.

It's very typical. He's a manchild who resents the fact that he now has to provide care and support rather than just receive them.

But only if you don't cover the light socket

On 2 hours of sleep and had normal thoughts. My bad.

I still eat dino nuggets. They are my favorite of all the Tyson chicken products

Hey man, I was just playing around. Take it back