1. Book unfamous, desperate guests eager to advertise their whatever on such a big radio platform. Authors are coming out with books every fucking week. Be ready and prepared to never have them on the show again.

2. Have Sam play the Anthony role - the good cop. His job is to simply keep the target on the line as long as possible. Excuse the "callers", change the subject when it gets awkward, give them positive feedback so they feel the interview is going great. For the love of god, listen to the 12-hour "O&A mess with guests" youtube clip and just pay attention to what Anthony is doing 95% of the time. Sam is more than capable of filling this role.

3. Have Jim get back to his games, both the classics and come up with some new shit:

• RAMOOOONNNNEEEE
• Uncle Paul on the line
• RIGHTTTT RIGHTTTT RIGHTTTT
• Oh I wasn't finished asking the question but hey I'm just the radio host you go right ahead it's more important than me finishing my question
• Do you see [this subject] as more of an idea that's already been discussed in the context of a traditional American lifestyle, or is this more of a direct correlation into how people are presumed to behave in modern society with all our cultural advancements? (guest tries to answer) No no no, you didn't understand the question at all, what I'm asking is...
• Quiet game
• Inappropriate sound effects
• Straight up yelling at the guests in faux anger
• Ripping pages from the book as you interview

And, you know, new bits. You're getting paid tons of money to do a radio show, think some fresh ideas up. Jim Norton is not a professional athlete who played lockdown defense at 25 but now at 53 has trouble getting up from the toilet - he's mentally still the same mean=funny comedian he was back in 2006.

What kills me is he's legitimately great at this, no bullshit, but he's 48 and one sketchy hooker away from AIDS or getting stabbed to death by a pimp. Just like old Patrice appearances are ruined by pleasant interviews and hack shit like Twitchels & Big A doing the news, all of us would kill for another year of Patrice appearances "debating" female guests. If Jim's uber gets T-Boned by a bus tomorrow, nobody's going to fondly play the Nikki Bella & Lana interview and go "ahhh, this is the Jim I miss". One of the funniest, most brutal radio personalities has chemically castrated himself to be like every other interviewer at SiriusXM, like Justin Bieber thinking he can reinvent himself as a rapper and put out music as good as Kendrick Lamar instead of sticking to what made him famous - sugary pop songs directed at pre-pubescent girls. The delusion to entirely reinvent yourself and demand the fans support the changed you isn't going to work with your audience. Eminem putting out a country album would likely have the same effect.

The worst part about all this? Opie knew the formula, Opie used the formula, and it fucking worked like a goddamn charm. It was heavily borrowed from Howard, but they put their own spin on it. Sam always seemed to cackle along, but now that he's in charge the formula is out the window and it's pleasant interviews with D-List celebrities. Dance with the one that brought you and realize the new show format isn't working.