"Why does that man look like that, mommy?"

49  2017-04-02 by McGowan9

53 comments

Sam probably thinks he looks cool as fuck here.

I'm sure he thinks he looks cool here, but I don't think gash is on his mind. Not that he's gay, but more of an asexual.

no he's definitely gay

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Any man who prefers the company of men in tiny little panties who wrassle around with other men in panties is certainly gay. Not judging.

He looks like a primate more & more every day.

Sam "Monkey Features" Roberts.

Sam 'Porch Monkey' Roberts

That top lip and brow bone combination is primitive.

what a corporate whore

He'd be a great fit for the WWE he never criticizes the nefarious activities they have done/do

But yet Nancy Grace says "You know, you probably shouldn't take steroids" and he's angrier than if you raped his mother.

"ULTIMATE WARRIOR WAS A GOOD, GOD FEARING MAN AND HIS HEART ATTACK HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH TAKING STEROIDS 30 YEARS YOU CUNT!"

Nancy Grace says "You know, you probably shouldn't take steroids"

that Nancy, always the voice of reason

"Eat your vegetables so you don't grow up to look like that."

How many times do I have to tell you,that's a no good half wit,half breed,child molesting faggot.

A lifetime of eating nothing but chicken tendies and pop tarts. Now shut up and eat your vegetables, unless you want to look like a Neanderthal.

I saw him for 5 seconds on the nxt preshow and aside from being infuriating he royally fucked up what he was saying bad enough to totally throw the guy he was talking to while they were trying to toss it to the main show bumper.

I don't know anything about wrestling, but I assumed Sam was knowledgeable and respected in those circles. Is that not the case?

He doesn't even do a Dusty Rhodes impression. Who the hell respects that?

He's known as a podcaster independently of being on sirius, and he's done some stuff like announcing on independent promotions in jersey. As far as wrestling podcasters go he's pretty middle of the pack but he's done stuff for the wwe website and wwe started bringing in podcasters to work their pre shows, he's one of them that they rotate.

He is knowledgeable and when I've heard his podcast its ok, but its sam in broadcaster mode thats terrible- he's trying to be goofy and big because thats how you get a better job, and he's competing with ex wrestlers who have exaggerated personalities. He was talking to a guy who has only been doing commentary full time for a few months so sams complete flub also totally fucked the guy who had to make a point then throw to a transition, which was pretty advanced for the guy's skill level.

He looks like the fucking Happy Merchant meme.

Sam "Homo Australopithecus" Roberts

Because Sam was supposed to be short but mommy and daddy gave him roids. Sam was meant to be 5"4 at most.

He went from looking like a black to looking like an old jew so gradually i didnt even notice

He looks like a pedophile clown.

This is what happens when your father keeps his jar of HGH in the kitchen right next to sugar.

"Honey this is why mommy always says that the dark people and white people shouldn't mix."

Really clinging to the last of the hair

Its embarrassing at this point. It's finished. He couldn't possibly look any weirder if he bit the bullet and shaved it all off. He won't though, because he thinks his Krusty the Clown jewfro is part of his "brand." He isn't important or famous enough to actually have a brand.

yeah - the whole obsession with projecting a youthful image is getting pretty hilarious.

Like Teller and a gorilla had a baby

Good lord - he's legit BALD from the CENTER of his head. Not just "receding hairline" LEX LUTHOR/KOJAK/SAMUEL L. JACKSON bald!

Those wispy curly fries that are hanging on just look silly.

With his dominant primate cranial features, he'd almost look masculine if he shaved the pubes down.

(PS- Fuck Opie)

Kojack

and we shit on anthony for outdated references.

Hey- I'm old, not BALD! Thanks

Maybe he means the remake with Ving Rhames making the comparison even more apt.

"You've been wrestling with that hairline for a while now, huh Sam"

The poor primate can't catch a break lol..

Did somebody say that to him on air?

Ha, i wish... just a twitter comment, but knowing Sam read it gives me a chuckle.

Cut you hair, grow a beard.

He looks like he's transitioning genders and species

Art Garfunkel.

hahahahaha jerry "the king" lawler just insulted sam's hair

Sam Roberts looks like Sam Rockwell if he had come out of the womb with every disease possible.

He really is an abomination

Which I think was based on Sean Penn in Carlito's Way

Forehead of a Klingon , hair of a Kike, dunno which is more disgusting.

looks like a simpsons character

HGH is a helluva drug

because he wasn't growing properly as a kid so they put him on HGH and DHT and a side-effect of DHT is balding.

looking at that makes me smile at the mirror, he's about my age, ooof!

Wish I was a fly on Sam's mirror viewing his 10 minutes every morning pushing those fragile curls forward on top of his head to cover an inch of skull.

Baseball caps, Sam. You have one of the only jobs in the world where you're almost expected to be wearing one 24/7.

He's only balding because he worked so hard at radio, guys!

It has nothing to do with the testosterone he was force fed from a young age, or the fact that he only eats chicken tenders and french fries instead of vegetables.