Like the Frank Sinatra song goes 'Love and Marriage goes together like a panini press and threats of legal action from a tranny fucker'; that's why Panera legal has tasked me, their newest intern (a 3L law student) with giving all you artisans a general run down of defamation law.

 

As of late a certain pissy eyed fellator of boy clit has been ignorantly throwing threats of lawsuits around; so here is some information to help you out when crafting a fine joke. Keep in mind: this is not legal advice and I am not an attorney, this is just a general overview of what the law is in regards to defamation.

 

New York Times v. Sullivan (1964): The Actual Malice Standard is established for public officials.

*In a defamation suit where the P (Plaintiff) is a public official, the P must prove that the statement was made with “Actual Malice” (knowledge that it was false or with reckless disregard of whether it was false or not).

 

Curtis Publishing Co. v. Butts (tsssss) (1967):The court extended the actual malice requirement to PUBLIC FIGURES in additional to public officials.

*Thus meaning, if you (Defendant) say something about a radio personality that happens to have a face that looks like it is where the Kaiserschlacht took place (Plaintiff), the P must prove that you made that statement with 'Actual Malice'.

 

Hustler Magazine v. Falwell (1988):Jokes, satire, parodies, fictional accounts of a public figure or official are not defamatory unless something is made as, or contains, a statement of fact and was made with actual malice.

Jokes/Parody/Satire: Generally speaking, an individual is not liable for a joke/parody/satire. The standard is whether a reasonable person would understand the joke/that it was a joke; if they wouldn’t, then the speaker might be liable.

*Essentially what this comes down to, is whether a reasonable person would believe whatever you said to be true; thus, the more fucked up or over the top you make something, the less likely you are to be liable, as it is less likely that a reasonable person would believe it to be true.

 

'Libel Proof' [Partington v. Bugliosi]: This occurs where an individual's reputation is so badly tarnished that nothing thrown his way can be considered defamatory, even if it is false and made with actual malice.

*In this case, the P was a Mobster and it was determined that his reputation was so shockingly bad that he couldn't sue for being depicted in a movie of having committed a murder he didn't commit, because his reputation couldn't be damaged any further. Rumor has it he was a raging alcoholic, racist, and woman beater, amongst 'other things'.

 

Being Called 'Gay' is Not Per Se Defamatory:Anthony is a faggot.

 

The Dead Cannot Be Defamed:Any defamation claim dies with the potential claimant; thus, neither his family nor his estate can bring such a claim in his place (however, there is potential for an Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress Claim from family; you don't really have much to worry about there though and they would likely lose).

*Joe Cumia Sr. was a serial public masturbator who routinely drank the spittle of children.

 

When a person becomes a public figure: There are generally two ways

1-Pervasive:Where a person attains “such pervasive fame” that they are public figures for ALL PURPOSES and in all contexts; or, as is more common,

2-Limited:People who are public figures with regard to a particular set of facts or circumstances; meaning they are public figures in relation to a LIMITED number of issues (Those particular facts or circumstances).

 

Involvement in a Public Event: In general, once a person becomes involved in a public event, even if involuntarily, they lose their right to have their identity and fate (what happened to them) kept confidential at least in regards to that particular event.

Evidence of Opie's Stupidity:Thus, by going on national radio and talking for hours about his wife's sex tape with with Bam Margera, Opie made his wife a Limited Public figure for the purposes of discussing her sexual relations and filmography with Bam margera; so discuss away, gentlemen.

 

THE TRUTH IS THE ULTIMATE DEFENSE: If some big titted dunce or sub-saharan ginzo does end up suing you, just remember that the Truth is a complete defense to a defamation claim.

 

In Closing: Peckaz.