People keep asking if I'm back, and I haven't really had an answer. But now yeah, I'm thinking I'm back!- Kingpin

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Jason-jason-jason Ellis-Ellis

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Iiiiii'ts the Jaaaaaaaaaasooooon Eeelliiiiisss Show (in Suicidal Tendencies retard voice)

GET READY CUS IT'S TIME TO LIST SOME EDGY SOUNDING WORDS!!!!!!!!!

FIRE

VIKING

MOOSE KNUCKLE

RED THE DRAAAGON

NIGHT

DANGER

CANADA

UNCIRCUMCISED

PHILANTHROPY

STTTTUPID STUFF!

SUPERCROSS

PAAAAAAAYNUHHH (in 90s Monster Truck announcer voice)

NIPPLES

MACHETES

FASHION

A SCINTILLATING BLOODBATH OF HELLACIOUS FURY!

EEEE-VULLL (also in 90s MT voice)

CANNABIS

INTERESTING THINGS!

AWESOME!

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RADIO

Tigers

Elephants

Orangutans

Lions

Bears....

They'll make ya stare!

Dragons

Sour makers

Fish in the sea

Know what I, know what I, know what I mean?

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REGGAETON KLAXON EEEEER-EEEEEEER-EEEEEER-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

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(In hack radio/SNL voice)

JAAASON EEEEELISSSS! faaaaaaaaaaak yeeeeeeeeeew

MY-CULLLLLLL TULLEEEEE i'm not very sexy

AAAAND-RUUUUUU GROOOOOOS actually it's gleek

KEEHVUUUUN KRAFT don't worry, we got dem duh bases covered

AAAAAAAAAAAAND... WILL PENDAAAARVIS! fawk yeah, I'm Will Pendarvis!

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Live from Hollywood, (Ellis is blowing up) it's... Jason Ellis

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Then several seconds of like film noir bad guy music

then, with shitty WCBS FM 101.1 reverb on his mic for no discernible reason, Jason makes banal observations for about 30 seconds with the reverb for no point other than he's not good at his job. Today, translated ver-fucking-batim for maximum idiocy impact:

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"Hey....

Do I sound funny?

I think it's because I don't have my glasses on.

That makes a shit ton of sense.

Anybody out there ever doooooo..

when you do a reverse and you think that maybe you're going to smash into the car and you got loud music on and you turn to the loud music down to focus. What the FUCK IS THAT?! I gotta stop doing that, I gotta believe in myself.

I guess I crashed a lot at times from just thinking that I'm the greatest driver in the world so I'd just smash into shit. And then I'm like maaaan..... whydon'tyoujustbeabitmorerespectfulandturnthemusicdownandtrytostaymorefocusedbutwhyis, uhhh. music stopping you from focusing?

I mean....

it's a sound.

That's got nothing to do with attacking the steering wheel!

Mental exercises.

Instead of saying...

Okay this is really bad (seconded), this is bad advice

But instead of just saying "I'm gonna turn the music down", I'm gonna challenge myself and turn the music up even louder and see if I can stay focused on the matter at hand while I'm using other things to block out theeeeeeee..... uhhhh...... sound waves.

I mean, what am I? A fucking snake with arms?

Why is music disturbing the way that I concentrate?"

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The twinkish second mic beta fuccboi with a FAWKIN HOMERUN:

"That's the same reason I drink... uhh... drunk drive."

Ellis' reverb cuts out, "....you drink drive or you drunk drive?"

Fag: same thing. I started say drink drive cus you say that, but drunk drive is what we would say here. I needed a challenge, I've become too competent of a motorist."

DEAD AIR FOR FIVE SECOND

Ellis: That must be nice... I don't have that problem. I'm mentally challenged.

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The point of this post?

Opie lost his career to a parody of a Jocktober show.

his timeslot, channel, and livelihood to a nigger-rich grade school dropout/vert skateboarder/dirt bike driver/tattoo artist/MMA fighter/edgy hobby that has a reality show this season, who has no instinct for conversation, can barely form a coherent thought, employs a cadre of wimpy, limp-wristed twee boys to make him sound tough by comparison, all why employing every Jocktober tactic we've learned so he can babble about absolutely nothing of interest to anyone anywhere for three hours a day.

Opie lost to a show that is worse and less listenable than his "solo" work (yet somehow still less enraging). Opie was Destroyered by a 1998 show in 2017.