Admitting that you're a bean is going to get you put on a list.

Jose's List....Boooooooooo

Also a US Mexican, have had these same thoughts. That war will be FUCKED up because our people can be the worst scum on earth if the money's right. Would probably move out of Texas tbh.

Too scared to ever visit Mexico in my life, maybe I will when I'm 70 and it's all calmed down. The way it is rn makes me really sad because I'm dying to go. I just don't want to be on a decapitation video.

Also MEXICAN WOMEN ARE SUPREME.

Viva la gente, hermano.

I relax my firm stance against miscegenation when it comes to the Mexican ladies.

http://www.rumberos.net/images/2015/YanetGarciaH01.jpg

DUDE YOU NEED TO GO TO MEXICO! HAHA. I get how it might be a little scary man, but trust me. Keep your head down, don't go anywhere without someone who knows the areas, don't take photos of any cops or military (my brother got his ass beat for that), and if you're gonna party, treat anyone you know with respect because you really don't know if the person is your average citizen or a connected guy. The weed is terrible btw. But it was truly an amazing experience bud. During my time there I heard a shitload of shootouts, saw one dead body, which is relatively calm for Torreon Mexico. And that's in the top 5 dangerous cities in Mexico. After awhile I was walking around by myself in the most shittiest areas with a backpack full of music equipment and my laptop. Just got to gain a little street smarts man, but the food and the women and the culture make it all worth it!

I hope you both get to go and visit and when you try to come back there is a 100 foot wall in your way.

There are tunnels sir, with motorized bycicles on rails. I saw it in a documen-Tree

How Mexican do you look, though? As a pale person with blond hair, I think I'd get fucked with Torreon.

Ah man after a week you'll get that healthy brown skin thanks to the sunshine and pollution haha. But I'm your average Mexican-American, taller than most and fair skin. I definitely stuck out as a tourist but no one fucks with you, especially if you're a tourist. I think you're in more danger if you're in a heavy tourist area but in the rest of Mexico, no one will fuck with you. Even most cartels know that fucking with tourist means fucking with some big wigs money and that's a definite no no. While in Torreon I saw many Americans walking around. One old white couple was lost and me being a good southerner, I tried to help them. After I spoke to them in English they proceeded to walk away in a hurry with the woman clutching her purse haha! I would've been slightly offended if it wasn't so fucking funny

Sounds a lot like just hanging around the bad part of town (although my town isn't particularly violent, it can still be pretty ghetto in parts)

Honestly your comment gives me a lot of confidence with that. Maybe I will in a few years. Too many responsibilites right now but maybe I could grow some balls (and pockets) after I graduate college and spend some time in my career.

Thanks for the advice, dawg.

Absolutely man! I also spent three weeks in Zamora Michoacan which is a great example of a city that's 80% safe with your average American amenities. But absolutely man, finish your school and go with a good amount of money, you'll need it to geese some palms and hit up some amazing brothels :)

Also, most of Mexico is actually calm now. If this was 2008-2012 it would be a remarkably different story. Especially in Coahuila. The part where my family from is one of the last places that the Zetas can actually walk around freely. I've met some of them and they were actually extremely hospitable. One was a bootlegger who gave me free booze and some bumps of coke (I mean why not, I'm in Mexico) and then they proceeded to tell me "war stories". I became slightly uneasy because it was the juxtaposition of them being friendly as hell while they were telling me gruesome shit. I mean shit I still think about to this day. Just a part of the Mexican culture that people don't full understand as you said earlier. As much shit and criticism as the military gets (which is well deserved in most cases) they actually did a good job getting most of the shit under control. Just sucks that the special forces in Torreon are basically a Cartel all on their own now. Still, they're not known for extortion and kidnapping like the Zetas. They truly were scum from 2008-2012.

Oh yeah. That's when I first saw those cartel vids and read tons of articles and stuff. Like my sophomore, junior years of high school. I don't wanna say I traumatized myself bc that's some pussy shit and frankly insulting to people who live it, but I think I can say I was a step below that.

I started reading more about people fighting back circa 2014 and more Mexican military victories (with US military cooperation) and all of a sudden the awful stuff seemed to be less frequent.

Glad to hear that it is a lot better, like I hoped. Our culture and people are beautiful imo, and I thought that awful shit was an absolute plague on it. The butterfly was pimped.

Nice K-Dot refrence! Yeah man, no shame in saying that. That was around the time I was getting deep into this shit too, and honestly if it wasn't for my brother getting deported I probably wouldn't have gone the first time. I thought it was the fuckind Wild West and in a way it is. I never expected to fall in love with the place like it did (ew faggot) but the culture, the people and even the fucking dirt leaves an impression on you especially if you are Mexican. That's our motherland man, and I truly hope you get a chance to go. Don't fucking die though because then I'll feel like a piece of shit 😁

I sound like a fucking faggot here

Haha dude it's okay, I know exactly what you mean. I agree completely, and that's why I want to go so badly - because I want to experience what you're talking about!

Also his is so far from being about Opie or Schumer or Norton that I'm sure the rats of this sub won't read this far into our convo. I'm sure you're safe. Weakness (faggotry) is okay here. <3 <3

Man you will not regret it. You're brain loses all activity about 1 minute after you're beheaded so there's ne time for regret!

Nah man I know some of these people like to read about cartel shit, you'd be surprised. When I came back all of of my black and white homies wanted to hear about it haha. Actually had a Sinaola cartel branded weed pouch that this dude wanted to buy off me. It's a very interesting part of our culture, but there are for more pleasant and great things about Mexico that need to be brought up as well.

Yeah absolutely. Sounds like you bump into pretty interesting people pretty often if you're in the right spots. Idk if I'll jump right into "Top Five Most Dangerous Mexican Cities" territory, but I definitely don't wanna just isolate myself in comfy Cancun.

Maybe Mexico City as a start? What do you think?

I think Cancun or any other tourist spots would be a good start! I've never been to any of them, but I'm sure that once you get away from the tourist and chain restaurants and cross to the other side of that you'll get a nice dose of culture. I have family who are teachers in Mexico that have spent time in Mexico City, and from what I hear from them it's kinda shady haha. But they also says it's a dope place to visit! I will definitely be going there when I have time. If I were you I would head to a city. I hear great things about Monterey city from some friend of mine I grew up with in Texas. If you are a fan of city life and culture that's a great place. One place I definitely want to go that is tourist friendly and rich with culture is Guanajuato. Fucking dope ass city based on pictures my family who lives there have shown me. Stay away from Juarez, Acupulco, Nuevo Laredo, Mexico City and some others because there's definitely cartel dange and a lot of petty crime But compared to the regular violence there, violence against tourist definitely doesn't happen as much as you might thinks. but if it's your first time in Mexico you might want to avoid those places man! If you got family I would definitely go there first to get a feel. Life is remarkably different in most place. Toilets are terrible. I like to take a good, toilet clogging shit and more often than not those puny things couldn't handle my American colon! That's honestly the only downside hahaha.

Thanks dude! I'll keep that in mind!

And yeah I definitely already knew to stay the fuck away from Juarez and Acapulco. The other places are a bit of a surprise, especially Mexico City. I really got the impression that that place would be pretty good comparitively.

Also I have a gf but I doubt that her and/or my parents would want to go down there with me. My parents are US-born as well, and VERY terrified of Mexico. GF is also a giant baby in general and will probably make me feel terrible for "risking my life and going to a place like that" (another reason I can't go any time soon). (Also bc I have a GF I wouldn't be doing brothels like you talked about so I guess I'll just be missing that)

I just really wanna go to a place that isn't gentrified for estadounidenses, but also not real enough for me to get my face peeled off for looking the wrong way at the wrong guy's woman.

I'm also surprised that violence against tourism apparently isn't relatively common. I kinda thought it'd be extra common.

Also I'm not looking forward to puny toilets. I take real American shits. Staying away from the tap water might also be hard to adjust to.

But if you think Cancun is a good place to start, I'll definitely look into it. Thanks dude!

I read this far and I think you two spics are real sweethearts. You both seem very civilized, despite being on this sub and your racial handicap. :)

Or, and hear me out, I could go to Amsterdam and look at paintings by Van Gogh and Rembrandt while high on magic mushrooms, in complete safety.

No need to fear Cartel in a civil war. They carry $3,000 gold accented 1911's that only hold 7 rounds and they think an AK pistol is a proper rifle. Tactics? We don't need no stinkin tactics.

(Copied from another response I made to someone else)

I think the US would be surprised at first. I'm not sure we really even fully know EVERYTHING that the cartels have.

But then you realize that as formidable as the US military is, WE STILL DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING THEY HAVE ACCESS TO. No contest, I'm sure.

But my biggest concern with that thing isn't really fighting a strong military, but fighting something that's informally organized and loosely united under an idea. You can't win. Vietnam taught us that. You just get dragged deeper and deeper into stinkier shit.

Cultural fucking nightmare.

It's a squash match for sure.

Mex chick's skin like saddle leather.

Do all Mexican Americans really think there's going to be a USA vs Mexico war. What?

Watch out for that Mexican Air Force

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_PuZoLkvmBbc/SZML5cuG4zI/AAAAAAAACgg/QVdPKasW1mI/s320/Chief+Wahoo+Plane.JPG

Might be the best sports movie of all time

Safe pick.

You Can't say God Damn on the radio. Uker: Fuck it, nobody's listening anyway.

We acknowledge that Mexico would be crushed. Cartels and just our general idiots would make it very fucked up and scary for our communities though, which is why we're concerned.

Got it. Im not well versed in our relationship with Mexico past and present besides the obvious recent Trump events.

Dude's are chopping peoples heads and hands off for drugs, imagine if you mixed that kind of brutality with patriotism. And if all the cartels unified under the flag, they would pose a real threat for about a week. They have military grade weopons and an unlimited supply of money if they would pool their resources together. But the power of the US is too strong .

EXACTLY. Yeah I think the US would be surprised at first. I'm not sure we really even fully know EVERYTHING that the cartels have.

But then you realize that as formidable as the US military is, WE STILL DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING THEY HAVE ACCESS TO. No contest, I'm sure.

But my biggest concern with that thing isn't really fighting a strong military, but fighting something that's informally organized and loosely united under an idea. You can't win. Vietnam taught us that. You just get dragged deeper and deeper into stinkier shit.

We could launch ICBMs all day from Wyoming. For months. All day. All night. I'd say turn it in to a smoking crater. But it already is.

And if all the cartels unified under the flag

aren't there pretty much just two major ones now? those two control most of the country

They have military grade weopons and an unlimited supply of money if they would pool their resources together

a few good airstrikes will fuck them though

Good point man! Yeah Cartel Jalisco Nuevo Generacion is arguably the big dog or at least getting there, but Sinaloas resources, reach and influences expands greater than theres. With just those two there's a formidable threat to any troops that decide to invade. But like previously stated it would be for about week. But just because the media doesn't report on anything but those two, believe me when I say that Juarez, Tijuana, Zetas, Caballeros Templarios, CDN, and more that I really can't remember off the top of my head, while some are currently "defunct" and some currently forming alliances, they still have resources and agreements with criminal elements there, here and even in Asia. If there were armed conflict, and if by some miracle they were to successfully work together, on paper they would have ALOT of potential. We're not even favoring the Mexican military in this strictly hypothetical situation. But I gotta say, even with all of that you would be right. A couple of airstrikes and with us trains toops there is absolutely no contest.

A couple of airstrikes and with us trains toops there is absolutely no contest.

I mean the reason Desert Storm was such a cake walk was because we destroyed the shit out of them before the actual invasion

You know what, during my time in Mexico I noticed that most of the crime was being done by "general idiots" who had no allegiance to any cartel. They were just drug addicts and wanna be cholos who were trying to get the easy buck. And theres ALOT of them.

Why were you in Mexico for 6 months?

I was doing government work for an agency I'd rather not mention for security reasons.

Don't lie Pedro, you were there to take OTC oxys and fuck kids.

You are now officially on watch here buddy. We let one of "you people" in and next thing you know we will be having daily "which beans did you put in your burritos today" megathreads.

It was over the counter Tramadol my fine feathered friend! It was one of the better perks of being in Mexico on the tax payers dime! Although I did meet some drug traffickers from Monterrey bringing in Heroin to Torreon for distribution. It was actually a very sophisticated process. I would write a book if it didn't mean a bullet in my head. But no sir, no opiates or kid fucking for me. And theres only one kind of beAns worthy for my burritos and that's good old retried frijoles on a fresh baked tortilla made from the neighborhood tortilla shop.

You do understand that tramadol is an opiate, right? You go to any whore houses? I've always wondered what they were like in Mexico. I've been to brothels in The Netherlands, Germany, Czech republic, Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia but never Mexico because I'm not really into latina's.

Opiate laws are really wierd in Mexico. They don't prescribe anything but ibuprofen for real pain, but you can go to your local pharmacy and buy a bottle of Tramadol for 30 pesos (about $2) like it was fucking skittles. I had many a withdrawals during my stay. It was ducking awesome. You can also buy somas the exact same way for fucking cheap. 5 bucks will give you about 50 somas. And I went to a couple of brothels, nice places considering its Mexico. Did a a couple hotel calls though. Those whores will come to you! 50 bucks will get you a prime whore. Damn dude you've some fucking traveling. I'm jealous man. Want to go to Korea?

I've went to Korea already for 4 days. I lived in Bangkok for about half a year. late 15 - summer 16.

If you don't know Korean like I didn't it's hard as fuck to get around. Unless you are in the tourist/expat/army districts.

Jesus. What do you do for a living character? Are you fucking loaded?

I've worked in factories since I've been 18 so I'm no where near loaded. I got 5k in life insurance from my mother when I turned 18 from my mother's death. I used that and my McDonald's job money to backpack Europe for 4 months in the summer when I was 18. Then when I was 22 the job I had was downsizing and I just said fuck it and quit early and moved to Bangkok for awhile and went around Asia

My rent in Bangkok was only like 220 a month and everything else is super cheap. If you have like 3500 bucks in your pocket after all your rent is paid you can easily make it a year in South East Asia.

Yeah I love traveling around man, I'm pretty good at adapting to different places and cultures. Part of the reason why I'm able to do the job I do. That's awesome though. Very interesting life you lead man.

Holy shit that one got me

Dare you say, got a niggas ribs....

Haha, nah dude. I just got deep into conspiracies and politics today. Started thinking about the worst scenarios.

Worst case scenario for Mexico and Mexicans is we actually enforce our immigration laws and beef up the boarders.

is it

Well that, or we export our convicts to Mexico.

Attack while they are napping.

They are always napping.

When Trump was elected, all of the Mexicans in my neighborhood got together and fired their revolvers wildly into the air. They kept this up well into the night until the sun rose, and then they all started dancing around a hat.

Sounds like them

I don't why this got down voted, it's actually funny

When did they do the raping?

Tuesday is rape day.

If the Mexicans ever learn how to synthesize the compounds that make their magic beans jump, they could render Trump's wall useless.

Thankfully they've only just discovered how to make fire: science is a long way off.

Someone notify /u/cbanks420lol to take care of this trespasser.

I came out of a vagina in the U.S sir. VIVA LA USA!

anchor baby

Wew Lad

Weigh the anchor! How much does it weigh? Idk I forgot? You forgot?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xyuyk9uQa4#t=3m08s

Thank you for posting a bit from one of the best Mexican Comedians in history.

*Spic

Dude same diiff 🇲🇽

Fair enough

I've screencapped his post history and filled a report with ICE.gov

You're done for, /u/Ronvsfez.

Or how bout you file the report with DICE!!!

OOOOOH!! AGEEEEGEH!! GOOSH AGOOSH! WACK DA BAG, BUILD THE WALL! WACK DA BAG BUILD A WALL!

Ok that's it

sounds like you have had one too many cervezas

Just good old kratom sir.

well that sounds like I good time. I agree with you about Mexican women, I love a tan ass.

Who doesn't!

yeah , shit around the asshole blends fine with the rest of the skin.

As a white person born in the US my biggest fear is that we will never be able to throw all you US born spics back over the wall where you belong.

Holy frijoles mang.

This is an American sub, ya fuckin' spic.

Says the guy with a fat Puerto Rican comedian as username!

A derogatory username, ya dope.

Stupid Fat Bob Kelly is almost a term of endearment if you knew your opie and anthony history, ya numbskull! Pure Race Opie and Anthony fan reporting.

Not for me, dummy. I hate that fat pig.

YKWD!

tu mexicanos aqui en eua siempre odies otras mexicanos... como es mi espanol, yo soy aprendizaje

yo soY Un HOMbre cOn pEne GraNDe!

Aprehl Fahllls!!

You have to go back.

You gotta go back!

Vincente Fox gave an anti-Trump speech in which he bragged about the greatest contributions Mexicans have made to the world, and tacos were literally at the top of the list. According to your president. Sorry, but your people just weren't meant to live in civilized society. You were meant to throw virgins into volcanos and cure your impotence by eating lizard balls from a witch doctor, not trying to live in white countries. And the most infuriating thing is that Mexicans have been stealing the nogs' political whitey-blaming strategy for decades, when they don't even have as much of a history of oppression in the US as fucking Irish whites do. It's absurd but you get away with it because whites aren't allowed to use logic against minority feels. If this country continues how it's going, and whites lose their veto-proof majority to Mexicans, the US is fucking doomed. You can't take America and replace all the whites with Mexicans and expect an equal society. And we're just gonna spend generations hearing about how evil we are while having your people vote our wealth into your pockets, and within 2 generations you'll turn the US into fucking Brazil. I hope to God whites grow balls before that happens. If not, I'm moving to PacNW, or fake-diverse Canada where it's still white enough to be liberal.

He Aint Lyin Folks!

The rats have arrived in this thread.

This helps with understanding such shit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kBOQoKGwDk

There won't be a war between the U.S. and Mexico. If anything, there will be a civil war in Mexico between the cartels and the ruling class. Securing the border and enforcing our immigration laws will actually help Mexico in the long run. In the short run, it could get hairy.

Ric Vos will be performing Governor's Comedy Cabaret and Restaurant on April 7th

Wetbacks dont belong in the United States of America, Im glad that you agree

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YOYlgvI1uE

What the fuck, ISIS camps in Mexico? Next you're going to be yelling about lizard people & chemtrails.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YOYlgvI1uE

I couldn't read a word of that dirty spic talk, can someone translate?

Is this Jesse Ventura?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YOYlgvI1uE

We're not Mexican. Mexican is a NATIONALITY not an ethnicity. Unless you have Mexican citizenship, you're just American. I've been to Mexico a few times and its a shithole. US should have annexed it back in 1848.

If your ancestors came from Mexico than you have Mexican ancestry. It isn't that hard.

No? My ancestors came from Spain, conquered it, fucked a few natives, then gained independence. My last name is Spanish. My family speaks Spanish and they practice Catholicism. Therefore my heritage is Spanish the same way that supposed 3rd generation American, Cumia still calls himself Italian.

Mexican isn't an ethnic group. There are three groups there: Mestizo (half native half white, Natives, and pure white people. The Whites and mestizos are fully Spanish and part Spanish, respectively.

Don't lump me in with the morons who love Mexico yet leave it and who call Trump racist while touting "La Raza".

I've traced my ancestry in Mexico all the way back to Spain aka the motherland. There's some black in there but I pretend that didnt happen lol.

The mestizos are barely Spanish. They are mutts. Spain doesn't want mestizos.

No I said the Whites are fully Spanish while Mestizos are part white.

Spain accepted Mestizos. It's the Jews and the Moors they didnt like.

They have to go back.

Oh and being a mutt is great because ethically speaking, I'm against Affirmative Action and loathe all the shit the left does like bitching about this non existing systematic racism but at the same time, because I'm Brown, I benefit from the regressive sjw shit. It's a win win.

So am I but you can still get in trouble for sexism.

Nah minorities can do no wrong. I could probably get away with hitting a woman if I claim its cultural.

You'd have to play professional sports for that, vato.

idk what Vato is because I don't speak Spanish. lol

vatos locos 4ever

Blood in Blood out is an under rated movie.

Other shit was annoyingly semantic but this is very spot-on.

Semantic? tsk tsk you like hate jews or sumpting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YOYlgvI1uE

First thought was this post was going to be something akin to what the Irish felt when more Irish was coming. It turned out to be a stream of consciousness that you will likely regret posting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YOYlgvI1uE

A US-Mexican war would last all of 3 hours. Personally, I think it would be better for everyone if the USA annexed Mexico, and then used the Mexicans as shock troopers for the invasion of Canada.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YOYlgvI1uE

People that murder other people bother you a little?

no, ive done my fair share in the name of our country. Why don;t you get your hands dirty, ingrate?

Don't lie Pedro, you were there to take OTC oxys and fuck kids.

You are now officially on watch here buddy. We let one of "you people" in and next thing you know we will be having daily "which beans did you put in your burritos today" megathreads.

YKWD!

Yeah absolutely. Sounds like you bump into pretty interesting people pretty often if you're in the right spots. Idk if I'll jump right into "Top Five Most Dangerous Mexican Cities" territory, but I definitely don't wanna just isolate myself in comfy Cancun.

Maybe Mexico City as a start? What do you think?

Well that, or we export our convicts to Mexico.