When O & A had their "Listener Stand-Up Contest", I was gonna enter. But I chickened-out 'cause I thought if I won, I wouldn't be able to come up with 10 minutes of material to open a "Travelling Virus Show" with, which was the prize. In hindsight, that probably wouldn't've happened because they had semi-pro ringers that heard the show, so I guess that makes them a "listener", and were looking for easy free publicity.

Enetering as "Jackie Giggles", here's the routine I was gonna use:

Heyyyy! How's everybody doin' today, good? Good, good ....

I saw on the news the other day that NASA has discovered at the center of the galaxy a large dense mass that sucks away all the energy from everything around it. Yep, scientists are calling it "The Rich Vos Effect".

Speaking of empty holes, I see the Playboy "Playmate of the Year" has been announced! Yep, she has listed as her turn-ons: "Eating peanut butter straight from the jar ....", "Snuggling in front of a warm roaring fire on a cold rainy day ...." and "Repeatadly fondling 89-year old publishing magnate yambag ...."

And how about that Joan Rivers, huh? She sure did have a lot of plastic surgery! In fact, Joan had so much work done, every time she sneezed, she had to wipe her skoove ....

Welp, they're givin' me the wrap-up sign, so I'll leave you guys with one more piece of science news. Computer experts at MIT have perfected what they're calling the world's first comedy AI ! The software not only writes it's own material, but performs it as well! Yep, as a matter of fact, the project's been so successful, that it's already got it's first gig: hosting The Porno Awards. It'll be replacing Bobby Slayton.

Too inside ...?

Hey, you folks've been great! I'm Jackie Giggles, I'll be here all week.

Enjoy the pepper steak!