<<< Number of times Jimmy refrained from attempting to kiss someone with alcohol on their breath due to fear of relapsing

159  2017-03-20 by I-take-beast-shits

take note I wrote "someone" and not "woman" because we all know what the deal is.

34 comments

n/a  Subeck 2017-03-20

Thanks for putting those arrows i wouldnt have been able to see this great post without them

n/a  NormMcdongloads 2017-03-20

wat is he cupid or somtin

n/a  RedditorsAreFagggots 2017-03-20

he's achieved bravery levels that shouldnt even be possible.

n/a  Bakersfield__Chimp 2017-03-20

Levels usually reserved only for female comics.

n/a  RedditorsAreFagggots 2017-03-20

you left out overweight, sexually promiscuous, jewish and ham-faced

n/a  Theanfieldkid 2017-03-20

Must be real hard when him and ant are swapping sue lightenings cum.

n/a  throwawizzlemahnizzl 2017-03-20

The other day I was listening to a segment where Sam brought his mom's homemade baked goods and faggot Norden wouldn't try one that had rum in it.

"I don't trust it, don't trust it" said in a PTSD tone of voice as if that just says it all. Jim is the worst.

n/a  I-take-beast-shits 2017-03-20

"DOES THIS CAKE HAVE FUCKING RUM?!?!?" "IT BETTER NOT"

n/a  thoughts_n_prayers 2017-03-20

I tried mouthwash once & now I love snorting crack rocks and reefer cigarettes

n/a  ashakahdhalshf 2017-03-20

hey man you being a faggot has nothing to do with the mouthwash

n/a  thoughts_n_prayers 2017-03-20

"YOU CAN TAKE MY MOUTHWASH BUT YOU CAN NEVER TAKE MY PECKAHS tsstss" - Chip Braveheart

n/a  ok_to_sink 2017-03-20

Post the bit

n/a  Mikekekeke 2017-03-20

He says stuff like that in the style and cadence of an old man tired from long days in the jungles of Vietnam.

"I can't deal with the fireworks this time of year... I just can't."

Private James Norton of the Had 2 Beers As A Teenager Division reporting for duty, sir.

n/a  throwawizzlemahnizzl 2017-03-20

WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION NUMBNUTS??

n/a  Mikekekeke 2017-03-20

Sir! I think these almonds came from a liquor store, sir!

n/a  JMueller2012 2017-03-20

He's never kissed anyone

n/a  BRUTAL_ANAL_RAPE8888 2017-03-20

Hey, that was my joke, Amy.

n/a  BRUTAL_ANAL_RAPE8888 2017-03-20

We found Amy schumers account. I said the same thing yesterday you Jew bitch

n/a  I-take-beast-shits 2017-03-20

I honestly didn't see that post, but if you're coming to this subreddit for original jokes and hot takes you're going to be terribly disappointed.

n/a  BRUTAL_ANAL_RAPE8888 2017-03-20

It's just a case of parallel thinking. Great minds think alike I guess

n/a  Hunter_Cumia 2017-03-20

they think a lot dont they

n/a  kevin121312 2017-03-20

Did he really fucking say that he didn't kiss a girl because she was drinking?

n/a  MoeGreenVegas 2017-03-20

How could he expect a girl to kiss him if she wasn't drinking?

n/a  JOEYBLUNTZUSA 2017-03-20

Ugh, that is his most hateable quality, imo. He refers to getting drunk as fuck and acting stupid when he was a teenager as if he was an addict for 30 years.

n/a  enzo_trash 2017-03-20

this sub made me realize jim norton wasnt an addict, hes just a dude who needs an identity

n/a  PM_ME_TINY_TRUMPS 2017-03-20

He's clearly a sex addict, not hard at all to see how drugs would totally wreck his life. If he wants to maintain his current lifestyle, it's in his best interest to not use drugs.

n/a  I-take-beast-shits 2017-03-20

Thanks "wrecks the bit guy"

n/a  enzo_trash 2017-03-20

good point tho, Jim is a total sex addict.

Doesn't make him a bad person. He think's it does tho.

Addiction is admitting helplessness, Artie is "addicted" to heroin, yet somehow more successful than Jim Norton. Hoffman was a secret junkie. If you are performing at the top of your craft high as fuck, what is the real problem with them doing hard core drugs?

Jealousy?

n/a  mikestl1988 2017-03-20

He's an addict sir please respect that

n/a  Tom_Stall 2017-03-20

we all know what the deal is.

Is it this?

n/a  harnal_the_grayt 2017-03-20

He could get second hand drunk.

Of all the concerns

n/a  opestersmammarydrip 2017-03-20

Yeh he wont kiss some one with alcohol on their breath but hell chow down on a hog soaked in whiskey.

n/a  90yroldbigpeckakid 2017-03-20

It's funny that he gets pissed at thirty-something yr old woman for being so picky, prudish, and have such high standards; he says, "that's why you're alone!" But that is him to a T; all picky, and with all these conditions and turnoffs, when he himself is trying to land a girlfriend, and says he's not ready for kids YET - dude you're fifty.

n/a  ventio 2017-03-20

is there anyone here that does believe jimmy has a problem with drugs?

n/a  throwawaymanthrows 2017-03-20

Jim Norton is such a melodramatic pussy.

n/a  RedditorsAreFagggots 2017-03-20

you left out overweight, sexually promiscuous, jewish and ham-faced