You got recurring hemorrhoids nig. Don't evict yo shits, ease them out slowly.

But theyre brown... eviction is inevitable

Ding, ding!

Im very much looking forward to announcing to my gf "You can call my asshole HUD, because im about to evict some darkies!" pause for high five

Have you been using lube when your lover sodomises you? Your Anus has some elasticity but will tear if abused hard enough.

Lube is for queers

Consensual sex? What are you a faggot or something?

I had a hemorrhoid and one morning took a shit and it looked like red paint in the toilet ... now I'm the healthy asshole kiiid

/u/drsteve103, comment?

You have rectal cancer. Congratulations.

How do you know?

Because you are bleeding out your arse, mate

But that doesn't necessarily mean it's cancer. I hope, anyways.

If it's bright red it means it's not from your stomach. It's probably just you scratching your asshole and being a creep.

Yeah, dude, dark blood, old and clotted, that's more a sign of cancer. Red just means you need to give your shitter a break, man.

Or you know, you have aids.

I shit blood too. I'm ok with it.

Link?

Yeah you get less alarmed by it overtime. It's like that first time you notice a bump on your cock after shaving. Soon you'll be procrastinating your cancer screenings in no time!

But sometimes scratching the itch when you wipe feels amazing so there's that.

Also, do gay guys get hemorrhoids from the anal sex? I feel like that would be a thing.

That's exactly what happened I scratched while wiping and it felt great but more blood came out.

Not sure, but sounds like AIDS

This subreddit is for of experts on this subject. Better listen.

Ribbed for his pleasure.

This is normal and happens from time to time. It means you need to pay a bit more attention to the foods that you're eating. More greens and make sure you have enough fiber. You will keep bleeding until the tear (hemorrhoids) fully heals.

Its not cancer dude. Dont worry about it man. It is definitely aids though.

OnA subreddit, just like googling your generic health symptoms. But everything is AIDs instead of terminal lymphoma.

And its mostly the gay aids too.

Yeah not the kind that infects monkeys.

You have a torn asshole, perfectly normal. Use some preparation H, eat some raisin bran, and avoid spicy foods until your asshole heals. Also stay away from the rest stops for awhile.

I can't help but feel a torn asshole shouldn't be considered "perfectly normal."

Torn asshole is the medical word but basically the laymans term is hemorrhoid. Eat some bran, don't push hard when you shit, and sit in the bath a couple times a week until it's gone. Bright red blood is normal. Don't use cheap toilet paper either.

In this sub a torn asshole is pretty much normal.

Much the same as in your mother's underpants.

It's normal for me but i'm an alcoholic and it comes with the territory.

If it's bright red don't worry about it. If it's a dark color (like the color of a blood blister) you're fucked and will be dead in 6 months.

can't remember the last time i didn't shit blood a little when i took a dump

The connection between anus grapes and their causing anus cancer is, rather surprisingly, tenuass. I know intuitively that one would assume a causal effect butt, in actual fact, one thing rarely has to do with the other.

My brother had the anus fruit for years before he died and he would often leave a little patter of droplets all over the kitchen.

You should get them removed butt no, they don't necessitate the onset of anus death cancer. There simply isn't a proven corollary beyond the average rates of cancer of that type for people of your age and gender.

It's probably anal fissures.

Increase your intake of fiber and fluids, decrease your intake of dicks in the ass.

Easier said than done

Kind of off topic. I ate those xxx hot cheetos and had bright red diarrhea. Took me a minute to realize it was the powder on them. Scared the duck out of me though.

You're probably just wiping too hard. I'm no expert though. /u/drsteve103, comment?

Bloody turfs arentvon the Bristol stool scale. They should be though.

Maybe if he was using sandpaper to wipe that would make sense.

Red is fine but if it looks like coffee grounds you're in deep doo doo.

If you got hemorrhoids ask Ari Shaffir, he knows a thing or two about them.

Get smaller dildos and/or better lube.

That isn't helpful

Given your name I assumed you were into monster insertions.

Take L-Aginine daily to get your veins back in shape and they should go away in two or three months or take heroin and you probably won't care.

Weird, I have a similar problem. Whenever I finishing fucking men in the asshole, my dick is covered in bright red blood. Do you think we have a similar medical condition?

I can only be sure if you send a pic to confirm.

NSFW

...why?

you asked?

Serious question: Is the right side portion of your poop red? Right side red, left side brown, like a disturbing frozen yogurt swirly ?

No. The blood was basically floating on top of the shit on the surface of the water. Not mixed at all. And the first wipe on the TP was all blood. After freaking out it stopped. Also, one day my ass was so goddamn itchy so I scratched it with TP and it also bled a similar amount. I'm almost certain the course of the blood is right by the anus opening.

That is most likely a small tear or hemorrhoid, so you should be fine. Keep us updated!

What are you credentials?

I work at the Mayo clinic.

Rectal bleeding means you are a 5th degree Proud Boy

You have hemorrhoids and you're 100% fine. Go see a doctor if you're truly nervous and want reassurance, but 29 year olds don't get colorectal cancer.

A 29 year old with a diagnosis of hemorrhoids = you have hemorrhoids. So just relax.

Bright red is nothin to worry about.. dark red is trouble

Completely normal. Go about your business.

Going through this now, friend. It nearly caused me a nervous breakdown but I've been thru lots of tests so I know what's up with this. Basically, like many are saying, seeing red blood is usually no big deal. It can indicate cancer in rare cases but I'm around your age too and it's extremely rare for people this age to have ass cancer. If you want reassurance, go to a doc and have them test your blood for anemia. If you're truly bleeding from the inside, your red blood cell count will be low. If you need further reassurance, ask for a fecal occult test. It's basically the doc shoving a finger up your ass and then swabbing a little shit sample to see if there's hidden blood there, which would indicate something serious. It's not pleasant, but better than nothing I guess. Hope that helps, lucky for you I've been having all this bullshit done the past couple weeks. It blows

I mods love the direction of this thread

That's exactly what happened I scratched while wiping and it felt great but more blood came out.

If it's bright red it means it's not from your stomach. It's probably just you scratching your asshole and being a creep.

Ribbed for his pleasure.