First Bill Burr had to get rid of the dog he loved and now he had to sell his drums. How long until Billy becomes the typical husband from his old specials?

93  2017-02-08 by [deleted]

[deleted]

167 comments

He wasn't a very good drummer anyway.

Yeah but it was his passion nevertheless.

You spelled comedian wrong

Your mother spelled retard wrong on your birth certificate.

why does everyone here care so much about bill's home life? who gives a shit what he sells, you can still own a dog and play drums.

Oh no now Burr only has time to fly a fucking helicopter as a hobby. What a loser!

Pretty sure he won't be doing that for a while either.

Ha really? He was just on Rogan's show like 2 weeks ago talking about how much he loved drumming and it would fuck up his life and day to day outlook if he didn't have the outlook, and how his wife supports it because she knows how much more balanced it makes him.

She lies to him to control him. He lies to himself to stay sane

He's got allot of material brewing for when it all blows up.

yeah as sadistic as it sounds there's a part of me that genuinely hopes he get's divorced to see the amazing material that comes out of it

I pray for it, actually

he's like Chris Rock, he seems like his comedy was made for divorce.

Yep, both washed up comedians with zero laughs on their last specials

That first special is going to be GOLD

I just listened to this yesterday, what a fuckin pussy. Basically was saying without the drums he'd be beating her.

And now, we wait...

Yeah he was JUST saying on Rogan how therapeutic those drums are and how important drumming and meditation are, they keep him balanced and relieve his stress substantially.

I don't even feel sorry for him, Im so tired of emasculated men that let women walk all over them, it's fucking nauseating and I have no sympathy for em. I was talking to someone that works for Billy at an agency out here and they said he's a fucking pain in the ass to deal with and not a very pleasant fella.

Its increasing every year. In 20 years, women are gonna be running this whole sha-bang.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ienSxi3AS0I

The potato sack princess thinks so too!

and they said he's a fucking pain in the ass to deal with and not a very pleasant fella.

you mean he's from Boston? that's nice to know

they said he's a fucking pain in the ass to deal with and not a very pleasant fella

Good. Bottom-feeding Hollywood scum deserve to be treated like the dirt they are.

Nah, these are ham & eggers. Rank and file people. In fact they're there trying to MAKE more money for the clients and make sure they're getting paid what they're supposed to and such.

In fact they're there trying to MAKE more money for the clients and make sure they're getting paid what they're supposed to and such.

and they usually do that by saying "hey you should be a part of this video supporting hillary clinton and supporting the wage gap and saying how football is horrible and white people deserve to die"

"you don't want to do it? you are such a pain in the ass, I just want you to tell the Goyim they are horrible how dare you not do what the tribe tells you"

I mean i will give you $2,000 if you cut off your right arm and left leg and cock. and according to you, you should treat me nice for giving you that opportunity to make money

I guess a couple of your closest friends work at WME, then. Unless you're just speculating.

"Well I'd like to HEAR about it, pot heads..."

Oh nyeahh! Next thing you know, he's going to sleep on the couch when his wife is mad at him.. C'mon Bill. You can't break like that.

Ahhhh what are you gonna do? Ya fight, ya argue, next thing you know Regular Joanne sends you out to the couch with your nyquil and container of sleepy tea. I don't complain I just do as I'm told.

Billy was just saying she let him keep it because it was good for their relationship, having kids sucks. He should have kept it, so he could play the drums while his donkey king family dances around.

Yeah, what the fuck happened there? I thought she was supposedly being totally cool about the drums. Was supposed to be his "Spa time" or whatever

She probably yelled something like "BILL! Ugabuga bill ugabuga" and that was it.

That's racist.

N person.

You spelled "dat's" wrong

Shet de do!

Do you have any conception of how gay you both sound, exchanging these sassy and eager questions?

Yeah I get down with the peckas what about it snowflake

Nothing, really.

Just pointing out that you're the male equivalent of a depressed woman who watches day-time TV and doesn't even know how empty she is, and that you should feel ashamed, pathetic, and hopeless about it.

I do.

It's cool until you get married. Cool people suck.

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Diddy Kong Burr

Billy kong driving the family mine car out on a vacation.

Why does he listen to that Wesley Snipes looking pig? Ol' Billy No Balls.

Bill went from saying he'd never marry and be his own man to now being married with a child. How much longer until the guy works at banks?

At this rate he'll be giving a Hillary 2020 endorsement speech at the next Golden Globes.

He probably does corporate gigs, which includes banks.

Why would he work at more than one bank?

Fucking nerd.

never met a man who made it in the banking business by sticking around one too long

"Bill why don't we all just sit down to pee so that we don't have any more accidents. It's sanitary anyway"

"uh-Ok honey"

I get saying you'll never marry and never have kids and end up married later on in life so I don't have an issue with that. The problem is he lets his wife walk all over him and he seems to have zero say.

at least Stanhope never sold out, i mean outside of having a hard-on for that gay football player that is one of the worst players to have ever played in the NFL and for being such a fanboy of Johnny Depp to the point where he says Alice in Wonderland 2 is the best film of the year. Basically Stanhope is the Depp's Bobo. plus his podcast sucks. outside of that, go Stanhope.

Fuck the Yankees

did you listen to the latest podcast? Now American football isn't my thing at all but fuck me that was the worst podcast i have ever heard. It was literally a man getting annoyed at jokes being made at his shitty sports career.

at his shitty sports career being told really badly and in a dull as fuck way.

Stanhope played sports?

Nah one of his gang of friends. I may not of explained it very well as I could feel my brain cells turning off for good listening to it

Nah one of his gang of friends

that really is the worst thing about Stanhope, he is like the american jim jeffries, his entire persona is an act.

the Stanhope from stand-up would have mocked someone that tried that bullshit on him.

Stanhope from stand-up is a libertarian. podcast stanhope loves carrying the burden of his friends and doesn't find anything wrong with relying on the government for everything. and his friends don't either.

podcast stanhope thinks hiring prostitutes is wrong and its wrong to make fun of people, unless you are doing it ironically.

podcast stanhope probably would enjoy it if his friends invited their kids over and podcast stanhope hates the idea of sterilizing the stupid because that would mean sterilizing everyone in Bisbee.

His stupid retarded girlfriend stinks tho.

He said he's going to sell his set, buy a more manageable one (something about his set being too big) then keep it at a rehearsal space somewhere near his house. So it sounds more like he wants to have a refuge from the wife and baby.

drums->smaller drums at rehearsal space->electronic drums in living room->electronic drums in man cave->no drums->dad jeans and bowling shirts

Yeah, good point. It's a slippery slope.

All I can picture is an oiled up Esther Ku.

I herr dat bich got krabz.

I imagine somewhere in there he's down to just one of those black snare pads that snare drummers practice on to be quiet.

But that doesn't fit the 'Bill's sold out' narrative!

Quit stealing my bit, faggot.

hoo hoo

Guy makes $2 million a year, and he can't find a big enough room in his house for a drum set?

Well you gotta have a room for the baby, a playroom for the baby, an office for Nia, and before you know it you're out of rooms!

Sounds like he needs a man cave! am I right guys?!? Lol!!!!!

Get a load of this guy!!!

Get a load of this guy!!!

I'd rather take a load from that guy.

tssss...

When did he say this? I'm pretty sure he still has his drums.

Last podcast IIRC. His subreddit even found the auction online.

Oh shit you're right. Didn't he spend his whole press tour making fun of the people telling him he won't be able to play drums anymore?

I only saw the CL ad for $8,500. I've got a couple kits, one's a mid-70s Ludwig Vistalite five piece so I pay marginal attention to the values... I think it's fake because it's pretty overpriced for that kit and what's included; especially if he's not attaching his name to it trying to get a premium. Wouldn't be surprised if it's some fan that put it up or something.

I think Vistalite's were cheaply made back then. They were kind of a novelty kit made famous by John Bonham. Now, the Ludwig Stainless Steel kits, those were badass.

Yeah, not cheaply made, but cheaper for sure. They don't sound as good as maple ply blah blah. They were novelty because you could through-light them but still still pretty cool. They'll still sell for 2-4k+ if you've got a matching set w/ original hardware.

I would never waste my money on a Vistalite. Get a sturdy 1990's Yamaha Stage Custom for half the money and you have a kit that will deliver.

Nia, I'm trying to get rid of them but nobody is buying! Guess I have to keep them!

Bill with all his money and fame still couldnt get a white girl to marry him.Im predicting in about 3 years she will leave him for a black guy and he will become a cronic alcholic

you just predicted my current life.

were you with a black chic

No, that was also a lie.

He was the black chick

http://www.theonion.com/article/another-comedian-ruined-by-parenthood-4908

Another Comedian Ruined By Parenthood

AUSTIN, TX—Ed Corgi, once hailed as one of the area's funniest and most ribald stand-up comedians, has lapsed into mediocrity due to the 2003 birth of his daughter Grace, a friend reported. "Ed used to get up there and just spit venom against the entire world until the crowd was dying," fellow comic Rick Haste said. "Last week, I saw him do a bit about grape juice and another about how hard it is to get a stroller in a car trunk. He did swear a lot as he pantomimed folding the stroller, but still." Corgi's new sitcom Grape Juice is currently in development at ABC.

Ant and Jim are childless and funny as ever.

COINCIDENCE?

Ant is not funny anymore.

April 20, 2005

DUDE WEED

Hitlers birthday

Fuck, we should forward this to Doug Benson, you know he'd really start wheezing when he got to the end date.

Opie's getting Roland to book Ed Corgi as we speak

Billy and Nia having a night out at the Viper Room's 70s night. https://youtu.be/PJ7QjkOmVyU?t=9m32s

Good stuff

that vid was deleted. do you have another link of the same clip?

I think it was this

Judging by the 20% of his new special that I could get through, he's already got the "unfunny dad humor" thing down.

But seriously folks, it's weird seeing long term good comedians telling bad jokes. The new jim gaffigan special was awful too. It's like they are Sims versions of comedians. Hitting all the beats of comedy but the words themselves are meaningless.

Dana Carvey was better than both of them. And he's a shit as well.

The first 20 minutes of carvey's new one were actually pretty good. Then he became a boring bitter old man telling jokes I heard 15 years ago. Mostly seemed mad that his kids suck.

"Such a buncha fuckin bullshit" is something I have said so that made me laugh. It's disgusting how he still kisses the Clinton's asses though. It's like Lorne programs them.

It's like Lorne programs them.

he does

The bit he did about the tv commercials for drugs made me howl. "Is your tongue shorter than it used to be?"

The first 20 minutes of carvey's new one

he's had 8 years to work on his material I think Burr and Gaffigan had like 2 if that. plus its not like Carvey has anything else going on, Burr and Gaffigan had tv shows and podcasts to do

I think comics put out too much material these days and we're beginning to see the watered down effects of it. There's no need to put out a special every year to year and a half. They want to be like Carlin but even his comedy suffered at times. I think if comics put out fewer specials and spread the material out over 3-4 years we'd start to see better stand up. I guess they feel like with YouTube, Netflix and all the immediate media that's available they need to keep pumping shit out to stay relevant.

but even his comedy suffered at times.

when did he start that new special every year bullshit? it suffered the entire last decade he was performing. even louis ck hasnt had a good special in 5 years.

You spend your whole life writing your first 2 specials... after that.. a lot of guys dont have much in the can. Especially if they get rich.

Same shit with music. Most people lose that hunger and put out generic shit eventually.

Watered down comedy everywhere.

Louis CK is like the NAFTA of comedy, everything wrong with the comedy world these days leads back to him.

If he never existed the world would be a much better place for everyone

NAFTA's effects on the US economy are well misunderstood and over exaggerated.

Tell that to Detroit

Nope, minimal impact overall. Nafta has actually helped preserve what's left of the industry in Detroit. Blame automation. https://fas.org/sgp/crs/row/R42965.pdf

Importation of foreign made cars has nothing to do with factories closing in flint and Detroit? How come the big three are not allowed to make a desiel car? How can a car built in Mexico sell for the same as a car built in the US? What are the tariffs? How much of that tax goes directly to American auto companies? You're link isn't very specific.

to be fair, comedians already get most of their material out through other avenues, both Burr and Gaffigan have tv shows and podcasts, so the stand-up is usually the least concentrated part.

there is a reason comedians years ago gave it up once they had another medium they were focused on.

Although i will say the last 5 years, stand up in this country took a nosedive.

i guess, but gaffigan's show is "look how great my wife is" and burr's cartoon is dullsville.

Bill Burr Podcast two years from now: Yeah, man. I just don't know. I realized I was just sitting there watching the game, watching grown fucking men throw a football around all day and Nia just came up to me one day and was like, "What are you doing?" And I just kinda sat there thinking about it, you know? It was like one of those epiphany fucking type experiences haha. I don't know, I had to give it up, I wasn't spending any time with my fucking kid, man.

that was chilling.

Spot on.

wtf he sold his drums? what was the reasoning?

Hey everybody. it's Bill Burr and it's the Monday Morning Pawdcast for Monday June 23, 2019. So. As of today, I am not muslim. The lovely Niaaaaaah convinced me it was the thing to do and we don't want our child growing up in a christian household. I got to tell ya, I'm liking it so far.

You meant is muslim? Ya big dope

yes, i'm an ass

Hey whats goin on, this is Bill Burr and its the Thursday afternoon just before Friday Monday Morning Podcast for September 17, 2021 and iiiiiiiiiiiiiiim just checkin in on ya! Im sittin here in old cell block D. Been 3 months since the MURDAH! Ya know I got 40 years left in this place and I got to say the guys in the yard that I've been lifting with really know what their doin. Im CRUSHIN it. 30 sets a DAY. Ya know sometimes at night I think about the lovely Nia screaming as the knife plunged into her like the fuckin...ahh whats it called. When Dicaprio gets stabbed by the butcher with the greasy hair. And theyre fuckin slicing each other HEH HEH HEH

His latest stand up special wasn't as good as his old ones. He's already on the decline.

Thanks for the memories Bill. Good luck with the mischling.

Really? When did this happen? Like others have said, he was on Rogan's podcast recently bleating about how much drumming meant to him. I can understand not wanting to have a pitbull around a newborn baby - like Patrice said they're "sharks with legs" - but drums? Can't he play them in the garage?

When he sells his helicopter...

What happened with the dog??

I bet Nia fantasizes about Burr crashing his helicopter & weighs the options in her mind thinking about the money & all the people telling her how brave she is for hanging in there with her millions of inherited dollars.

Millions through? Oh you mean nia is rich from her own family? The Zulu warlords of Zimbabwe?

Is he really giving up the drums though? I thought he just sick of that set and wanted to trade it out for a new one.

He's selling his Bonham drums because he's sick of them, and buying new ones for his new practice studio he's rented out.

Bill failing all the shits tests

Nia is an HB2

At least Bill was able to hack through some of John Bonham's drum parts before his kit was retired by the ball and chain.

We get it, fag, you play drums.

He should just give the drums to Paterson Nightly and call it even. His balls too, he seems to be done with them.

I have zero respect for a man that gets rid of his dog.

I have zero respect for a man defending pitbulls

I'm defending dog ownership. Dogs grow attached to their owners - and they don't recover well from being left behind, let alone given away. I went on a three week trip to Europe and left my dog at my GF's house. He was a complete mess every minute I was gone and for a few weeks after I returned.

If Bill didn't want his kid around the dog, then the answer is to be a more active parent. The answer is not to give away your dog.

The whole world is dangerous for a kid. You need to guide them to live in that world - not lock them away from its realities.

Waddya raising, some sorta bubble boy?

It was a slightly unstable rescue. Wasn't smart to keep it around the kid.

Wasn't smart to get it in the first place, but fucking with Bill's emotions is what she does best.

He shoulda taken her out the same way they did in the movie Fresh

i can't believe there isn't a clip of this on the internet except for the movie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgu1jRButUk&t=1h4m58s

What's your poodles name, Derosa.

So you missed when he said he decided on his own to sell it and that he wanted to get a smaller kit? It doesn't mean he's giving up drumming. He's still taking lessons and performing at the Goddamn Comedy Jam next month. He's just getting rid of that one.

Has there ever been a woman in history that actually helped or made a creative person everyone loved better?

EVA BRAUN

Rest in peace.

to the fuhrer not his fuckhole

Fuck them, then toss them. It's the only way to satisfy the physical while preserving the psychological.

Not only that, but he said in his 2/6/17 podcast he said this. "Oh, big fucking thing in my life. My wife might let me bring the fucking game changer, you know the flat-top grill?". You hear that guys? my wife might let me.

This is what he said right after he talked about how he quit smoking cigars because of his "life insurance" thing.

Let the decline of bill burrs stand up career begin

He said the same thing on Rogan's podcast - something like, My chick is the best, she let me....

What a pussy.

How long before he puts out a dad metal album from his garage/man cave like that punk bitch Jim Breuer?

How's he gonna do that with no drums?

I wouldn't normally by into this line of shit but I watched his new special and he finally made a stinker. The correlation seems too likely

The Burrs are also in need of a new car. When will she learn?

"Compromise is two people sitting in the same room with one of them being unhappy" - Patrice

Looks like Bill comprised.

God damn Patrice was a philosopher

How bad was that new special of his? Jesus, he got soft...

It's as though he bubblewrapped all his bits in trigger warnings for the purposes of audience safety, and it made every single riff drag on foreverrrr

I couldnt get past the cowboy shirt and boots. It was like he was dressing up for Halloween.

So much for black people loving rhythm.

you know she let him keep the drumsticks so she can play the Rectum For A Dream soundtrack in his already gaping asshole

Dog>monkey

He's that guy now. Only with an awkward wigger thing going now.

Also I guarantee this asshole is going to die in a drunk helicopter flying accident.

He gave them to /u/stupidfatbobkelly

Hot one today! Welp see ya later.

I lose all respect for any man who gives their dog away because their chick told them to.

Too late he's already their. If u seen his new special I think she got a few of her points into his comedy

I could've told him things wouldn't end right.

"Bill, turn off the big game and put on some Sesame Street"

Good. I don't want happy comedians.

Be happy, successful, normal and content or get the approval of a bunch of nothings on an obscure part of the internet, tough choice.

or be unhappy, but don't get nagged by your cunt wife who made you watch the women's march.

This thread really shows the autism in this sub.

WAIT WAIT I GOT ONE, FIRST HE MARRIED A BITCH THEN HE HAD TO GET RID OF ANOTHER BITCH OR SUMPTHIN'! DOUBLE DOGS SOCKCUCKAHS!

Why did she make him get rid of it? I thought owning a pitbull was a status symbol in the black community. Like having a big screen TV from Rent A Center.

They came to the sudden realization that a dog like that doesn't make a good family pet, especially when the dog displays aggression.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

When the marriage falls apart, oh and it will, we will no longer have to suffer through Bill fake outrage and we will get his real rage. Much like how Louis CK became funnier after his wife divorced him we will be in for a renaissance of funny Bill.

Bill will be funnier as well as he talks about her and her family. You know it's coming. I would be shocked if it goes 5 more years.

I just heard him on Rogan (taped a week ago) saying that one of the only things that keeps him sane is his drums. Why is he getting rid of them?

She lies to him to control him. He lies to himself to stay sane

I just listened to this yesterday, what a fuckin pussy. Basically was saying without the drums he'd be beating her.

Yeah he was JUST saying on Rogan how therapeutic those drums are and how important drumming and meditation are, they keep him balanced and relieve his stress substantially.

I don't even feel sorry for him, Im so tired of emasculated men that let women walk all over them, it's fucking nauseating and I have no sympathy for em. I was talking to someone that works for Billy at an agency out here and they said he's a fucking pain in the ass to deal with and not a very pleasant fella.

All I can picture is an oiled up Esther Ku.

Oh nyeahh! Next thing you know, he's going to sleep on the couch when his wife is mad at him.. C'mon Bill. You can't break like that.

Your mother spelled retard wrong on your birth certificate.

Nothing, really.

Just pointing out that you're the male equivalent of a depressed woman who watches day-time TV and doesn't even know how empty she is, and that you should feel ashamed, pathetic, and hopeless about it.