I'm just assuming Sherrod will be on because he has no job, love, or life.

"Good afternoon everybodyyyyy Rich Vos in studio." (in not his voice) Opie says he's just "testing out his radio voice." Rich is leaning more towards Opie's radio voice and wants Daily MoFos and sunsets back.

ME: And it's one-trick pony Rich Vos with his same OLD RECYCLYED FFFAWKING JOKES!

The.. irony.. is overwhelming.

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Oh.. Sherrod IS in studio. He mumbles an attempt at singing the Laverne and Shirley theme song.. he doesn't no know words because "Tits needs some 70s theme songs when he walks in."

Then said he's eating "empa-naughties.. empa-naughty-naughties".. Tits then tries to spell empanadaZZZ "E-M-P-A-N-D-AAAAH-Nnn I don't know. ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT WE GOT ALBERTO DEL RIO OUTSIDE, IT WAS LIKE A LAST MINUTE ADD"

Everyone pretends to know whoever the fuck this guy is and they muster a very sarcastic/obnoxoius 'YEEAEAAAAH"!

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Vos says he looks like Ricky Ricardo, I guess I agree. Tits asks Alberto to knock out Vos's fake teeth. Alberto and Tits steamrolls' Vos's attempts to improv on this horrendous outfit. Sherrod says he could pull it off.

Tits immediately contradicts himself and says he didn't know he was coming in and that's why he has a shitty seat and microphone. This guy is in to promote a restaurant he opened... three months ago... in San Antonio.. La Cantanita.. and doing Combata America in Burbank California? How many fucking restauranteurs does bunt gut Titster need to promote to keep filling into his Dress Barn wardrobe?

Ooooh, speaking of, sounds like the Mexican with Moxie is in too. I hate I know what Carl's voice sounds like.

Alberto is launching tequila and whiskey and a telenovella. Sherrod mumbles out some shitty attempt at Spanish. Tits says he doesn't speak a word but I'll fffawking watch!

Apparently this wetback also holds some fighting circuit for Americans.. provided they fight like Mexicans. Whatever the fuck that means. For the first time, I support Trump's wall. They're attempting to talk that they know about fighting.

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Alberto was part of the Mexi-Greco-Roman wrestling team, then professional wrestling, then MMA, then back to wrestling, and now Combate.

Opie butchers talking about the Turkish olive oil wrestling in tights for the 02983409234th time. So Lucha Libre has no idea what he's talking about and says "nooo.. we don't do that!" Opie name drops Anthony Bourdain.. again.. and says that is homoerotic then proceeds to ask The River about his days in tights fondling naked men.

They're talking about his history with fighting and wrestling.. I can't..

Sherrod asks if his younger brother is married "cus if he gon ova to wrassle in England he gon git laid!" Forced laughter. Opie says "ya with his soap opera looks! huhuh...fake laughter dies."

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Opie, desperate to contribute to the discussion, mentions that one time he left the country to go to Mexico and says, "the people were sooo ffffrrickin nice! Unbelievable how nice they are!" oblivious to the fact that employees of the customer service industry deliver service to their customers. It could be worse, could be Jimmy's customer service complaints.

For once, the Portly Puerto Rican has something relevant to add.. of course it's talking about Mexican food,.. but he calls it a "machiclate.." he, of course, is WAAAAY wrong because it's called a Champurrado

For no reason other than he's a dull, uneducated narcissist who cant go five seconds without saying something inane asks "what about duh wwwwwatah? huhuhuh.. what about duh waaaatah? The resort we were on (what?) they they they they just had it. they were like... they they they.. they beatcha to the pucnh ! Our water is fine, our salads are fine. Yes, we rinse the lettuce but all the water on this resort (again, ON this resort ?!) is fine. We didn't have problems but you left WWE in what, September? Where we at wit' all dat?"

TRANSITIONING LIKE A PRO!!!

Then Opie starts pounding the table chanting "beef!"

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Well.. none of you are enjoying this and it's causing me auditory hallucinations. I'll update only with the real prime cuts.

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Sherrod interrupts with, "dey needuh union! dey bettuh git togevuh!"

Carl says, "there goes Sherrod, FUCKING up the whole thing already."

Sherrod: "Dey bettuh bring dey puwuh tugetva cus uh seprit dey got no powuh!"

Vos: "thank you, Norma Rae."

Sherrod, obviously having no clue what he said, retorts, "thank you fuh dat 50 yuh old reffunce. The lead is dead muffukuh." I think he confused Norma Rae with GlenGarry Glen Ross...

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They've now slapped their hands on the desk chanting like faggot children for the sixth time in 20 minutes.

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They've been hard at work on the mics for 40 minutes.. time to take a 15 minute break! Normally I'd mock the ads too but I can't be bothered to hate if you can't.

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They're back! And still talking about fighting.. they should have renamed the channel to.. The.. NOTctagon.. or sumptin' __ Oh god.. Stuntbrain is on the phone. This will be delightfully misinformed. I called him misinformed on Twitter a week ago and he said "EXAMPLES? OR ARE YOU JUST THROWING SHADE?" I then sent about six tweets with proof that contradicted everything he asserted as fact.. and of course never heard back. At least I'm not blocked though! I'm back in..

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His first sentence, first fact: Betsy DeVos was the chair of the Big Republican Party. Which is wrong, she chaired the Michigan Republican Party from 1996-2000.

Second sentence, second fact: This is about a big donor getting an appointment so it's a favoritism thing. So.. she was either a party insider OR a donor with no political experience. You can't hold a party chair AND be a favoritism hire. Whatever, I'll let this one slide since he's guaranteed to say more inaccurate bullshit.

He accurately states her brother helped co-found Blackwater, so this of course triggers SHAWK RAWK JAWK RAQIO DJ IMPRESARIO GREGG THE HAMMER HUGHES to interrupt his guest to mumble, "oh blackwater, keep on rollin' Mississippi moon won'tcha keep on shining on.. ahh. ahh.. UHHHH!!" then stops talking for no reason because "the bit" was to know the lyrics and be entertaining then make a KNOCK OUT statement.

Tits then asks if "draining the swamp then he gets Betsy DeVos ^{isthatdrainingtheswampintheend?}

Stuntbrain contradicts his original point and says she's BIG TIME party politics from outside of DC but from the state of Michigan. He then mispronounces Reince Preibus' name. Then says Trump said he won't cater to Wall Street then brings in Goldman Sachs so he's walking a line and playing the game!

Or, ya know, lied to his base.

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New Sherrod-ism: sheeshtagen wunnuh Michele uhh Uhhbama speechis

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Stuntbrain 3rd lie: Betsy DeVos was the only one we heard about. Not true, the short list was:

Tony Zeiss, a former president of Central Piedmont Community College

Former Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels, now the president of the Purdue University System.

Governor Scott Walker (R-WI)

Hanna Skandera, the New Mexico Secretary of Education

Education activist Betsy DeVos

Education activist Kevin Chavous

Larry Arn, President of Hillsdale College

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They make some lame Chris Christie jokes.

Vos says his health insurance went up $6,000 a year because of Christie.

Sherrod mumbles out some nonsense: "It's your health Rich hahaha dey determine it was yuh health, Rich" what?!

Mad Cuban: "HAHA are you getting mad, Rich? hahaha."

Vos: "Because you're laughing at unfunny stuff."

Sherrod: "Shut y'ass up, dat was funny." No it wasn't

Mad Cuban with self-awareness: "I make fucking sandwiches. I laugh everything. I don't know the difference between caviar and M&Ms when it comes to comedy."

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Opie brings up Trump's bathrobes for no apparent reason. Then asks why are we dealing with bath robes?

Because.. you brought it up fucknuts.

They talk about Melania for a bit, Opie mumbles out what he thinks the responsibilities are for the First Lady. He says they're "supposed to give White House tours. NO! They're saying it's dark down there, they're n-n-n.." and bails because he can't remember things. Presumably referring to the story that the Cabinet couldn't turn on the lights and had a meeting in the dark but of course, dullard can't remember the headline. He then asserts the First Lady is supposed to organize the Easter Egg roll and the Thanksgiving Turkey.

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Stuntbrain says that Bannon still has "Teflon with this administration".. what.

Opie then remembers the light switch story but tosses it out as a throwaway because he's dim.. like a lightbulb.

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Netanyahu gets brought up. Sherrod actually says something sensible for the fourth time in his life and says, "Netanyahu BUGS me.. cuh hezza BULLY!"

Stuntbrain all cucked out goes, "WHY?!?! He's a good dude!!" I don't have enough time to provide plenty of examples of Netanyahu stealing from America, lying to the world, murdering civilians, breaking international law, or flexing Israel's stranglehold on American politics. Vos, of course, becomes super Jew. Opie agrees with the room because he's pitifully uninformed. Carl smartly shuts the fuck up.

No one cares about this. And I'm done because I'm going to say something I'd never thought I'd say:

Sherrod Small is actually making some sort of sense.

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Vos then attempts to establish that Israel went back to the 1967 borders because Obama told him to. This of course, is not accurate. But Vos asks, "Stuntbrain, am I right about that?

"You're absolutely right." This is, of course, COMPLETELY inaccurate.

Stuntbrain: "The treatment that Israel got for 8 years was just... was just AWFUL and now Trump is coming in and saying we're going to make it like it was." Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/14/world/middleeast/israel-benjamin-netanyahu-military-aid.html and source: http://www.foreignpolicyjournal.com/2016/09/23/seven-reasons-to-reject-the-israel-arms-deal/

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Ugh... Sherrod makes another decent point.. "You know who else in trouble? HAITI MOTHAFUCKA! There's other countries in trouble. Why does one little country get all the attention? There's a lot of countries in trouble, a lot of those with black faces. How come they don't get no attention? How come it's all always this one thing. Let's spread the love."

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HOT TAKE!

OPIE WAS SOOOO POOR... (how poor was he?!)

OPIE WAS SOOOO POOR.. that when he ate the fruit off the apple tree in his backyard, he ate around the rotten bits!

ignoring that a) having a fruit tree in your backyard doesn't mean you're poor... b) fruit doesn't rot on the vine c) just because your poor doesn't mean you can't use a knife to cut out the shit.