Amy Schumer's 15 minutes is up. Spot in Hollywood taken by better looking and more talented actress

199  2017-01-17 by unclepaul84

124 comments
  1. You're retarded and that's not how it works. 2. She's going to be eaten alive by the feminists she's been pretending to pander to.

Written by Blanche Johnson .. worst name I've heard in a while.

Love this bird

I've been thinking fish lately.

It's like her eyes are placed on opposite sides of her head.

Uma Thurman eyes

I would still give sums a smooch

Fish has been established hasn't it.

Certainly smells like it

Parrot fish is a compromise.

Oh fish sounds good, see if they have fish.

Due to issues at the plant, the price of fish has skyrocketed.

I just told you, we are out of fish

Gangly uncoordinated bitch

keep it light you bitch

Huge footed slut

zing!

I recently watched this episode. Danny Devito is a national treasure. "Tell it guuurrrrl!"

Dis nigga look like a bird

Sweet Dee. Caw caw!

She even has better stand-up skills https://youtu.be/W9R4SCW7XBQ?t=44

JESUS christ!

shes a great dry heaver

This. When they are trying to find the Phillies tickets, surrounded by fumigation gas, Mac, Frank and Dee are all gagging at the same time and she puts them both to shame.

She'd have to be 300 pounds so she could pander to buzzfeed readers like Amy

Amy's downfall was her lust for fame. She got famous too quickly and couldn't handle the pressure of creating new content because she hadn't been doing stand up long enough. Really, it took Louis CK 20+ years to sell out arenas and get to where he could stay relevent.

Amy was only a comic for sub-10 years and was suddenly thrust into a movie, sketch show, and sold out arenas. At that fact, I kind of don't blame Amy for trying to steal bits and sketches. It must be an enormous amount of pressure for her to keep up appearences that she belongs as top-tier comic. Her weight grew as the pressure to maintain grew.

It's that and also that she's not funny. Louis CK had a bit once on the O&A show or somewhere else where he said he really wanted to give a full hour special to an open mic guy. Fill Madison Square Garden and give him a stage like Kevin Hart and just put this new guy and watch him bomb spectacularly, That's what happened to Amy. They took someone who didn't have an original idea in her fucking head and gave her a huge book deal. The dumb bitch filled it up with lists and dumb shit about her vagina. They put her on the red carpet with the biggest stars of the day and she talked about how she was on her period, embarrassing everyone. It's like someone was pulling a prank on her.

"There was this comic back in Boston - and I'm not gonna say his name cause its too mean - he used to do the same five minutes at every comedy club, for years. And I always wanted the power to just give him an HBO special. Like 'oh, so you wanna do comedy? Here's your chance.' Just fill-pack am arena, turn off the air conditioning and make him do an hour. And then when he cracks and says 'I can't, I can't do it,' I say 'ok, so then, quit now.'

Let's be honest, if that was a black guy that only had 5 minutes of material and cracked Louie ck would encourage him instead of telling him to quit

What?

Rich Vos will be playing Madison Square Garden Monday 23rd of January

She's a fraudster that uses people to get where she wants without working for it

She used the cellar comics, then she used the hipster feminist comics, then when she got big she used other peoples material in order to stay relevent, you can't build a career off having literally no talent, especially when you look like hot dogshit

I honestly don't know how much of her success was actually because of her, or because of Hollywood desperately looking for any girl to fill the role of "women are funny, too!"

I don't even mind their dumb, pointless search for a "funny woman," I just can't stand when these idiots start talking about politics. Just write jokes, you cunt. Carlin was the only person I could actually listen to when he would talk about politics. Schumer (and basically every other comedian on twitter) isn't Carlin, so she should shut her stupid mouth.

You know, I still have never heard Dunham's name anywhere other than here sometimes in relation to Schumer, and I still have no clue who she is or what she actually does to warrant being a celebrity.

Does she do stand up or act or do anything involving comedy at all? What has she been in? Is she just a glorified SJW that et worshipped by tumblrinas? Or is her dad just some rich jew that throws money at the media to make her daughter "famous"?

Judd Apatow picked her up and produced her show Girls on HBO. I originally didn't mind her, until I realize she had one good season in her and probably had Apatow carry the rest. When she started doing her politics thing, I began to loathe her.

For the longest time I thought Lena was a singer or something.... apparently she was an actor on an HBO show for a while..... never saw it and have no idea if its still on the air but seeing her in interviews and public, she is a physically ugly and self righteous cuntbag. Also appears to be just a bad person in general with a recent news story about her saying that she is sad that she never had an abortion.

She also shoved a fist full of rocks up her little sisters cunt

wtf really? is this an inside joke I dont get?

Not a joke, she wrote it in her autobiography. She also used to pay her sister to make out with her and masturbate in the same bed.

Holy shit..... people read a book she wrote???

Yeah it was called Mein Cuntpf

Sounds like an interesting book. Do you happen to have the ISBN number?

It was very erotic

Nope lol

Hipsters love her. I think all she does is that show "girls" im not sure why people lump her in with female comedians

Well, she started off doing mumble-core movies, basically hipster influenced self indulgent independent films. Which were funded, or helped funded by her parents who are well-off NYC artists.

Her movie, Tiny Furniture, got Judd Apatow's attention. He produces her HBO show called Girls. It's not particularly popular as far as ratings go, but it's a show people like to pretend they watch. Particuarly progressive types.

She mostly uses it as an opportunity to show off her horrible naked body as some kind of political statement against unrealistic body standards for women in media. Then gets mad when people don't want to see it, and responds by getting more naked on her show and posting half-naked pictures of herself online.

She parrots third wave feminism talking points, which is why tumblrinas like her.

Most of the public only knows her name because she says things that are profound inside of her progressive bubble, but are extraordinarily stupid to anybody outside of it.

(((She))) was shoved in everyone's face, just like (((Lena Dunham))) . There's nothing special about either of (((them))) ; they were two girls picked up by (((Judd Apatow))) as some kind of assurance to everyone that women can be funny and successful.

I don't get it

Jews, Jews Jews, etc... let's blame the Jews

People forget, Anthony Jeselnik quite obviously wrote her material early on.

It's even more clear when you see where it went after they broke up.

The ol' Curt and Courtney effect. Hopefully Amy takes the Curt route.

It's Kurt with a K. Know your history, maaaaaan!

Your right. I think was Kurrrrddddddttt or some shit like that one time too. I just like to refer to him by his God given Christian name, Curtis. Such a good boy.

Kurt, like Kurlan.

I think a lot of people would have given her a pass, or a second chance, on the similarity of the content. What we all couldn't stomach was the abrupt about face that she did once she became famous.

Suddenly her raunchy jokes were really her playing a "racist, white character." She personally hates racism, but her character is "art." She's so racist that she's actually making fun of racists - how meta!

She bent so far backwards to convince the public that she was a compassionate liberal that she apologized for her offensive jokes and interjected herself into an anti-gun rally.

This complete change in behavior left her original fans alienated. When news broke that she has been stealing jokes, her fans weren't there to defend her. She only made matters worse when she claimed that "absolutely none" of her material was stolen or borrowed - despite several clear and concise videos highlighting extreme similarities between her act and others'.

So, she's a complete fraud. The person we liked as a guest on O&A was a "character" and the person we saw on stage was a thief. Her 15 minutes are thankfully (and deservedly) over.

That's one reason I never wanted to trash her. Yeah she joined the Hollywood "clique" They chose her and she did everything she thought she was supposed to do to keep that fame. Really she just alienated a large portion of her audience. I think the way she handled the picture with that one fan was a turning point. She posted his picture as an ultimatum on why she wouldn't take pictures with her fans anymore, and that backfired on her. Afterward she just started getting further and further into an out of touch political zeitgeist.

The first red flag was her hypocrisy in dealing with that social media fan who parroted her material back to her.

After she was out-ed as a thief (By some of you gentlemen) I started hearing that she was kind of known as a thief in her early years as well. Bonnie mentioned it and I heard it on a few other podcasts. So it looks like she didn't steal to keep up, she stole all along to get ahead. Fuck her!

Amy was only a comic for sub-10 years and was suddenly thrust into a movie, sketch show, and sold out arenas. At that fact, I kind of don't blame Amy for trying to steal bits and sketches.

She was stealing jokes in 2010.

she was also quite fat

That is a mouth that needs to be fillled by the dreadful penis of a fat man.

hello you

This may be ungentlemanly and off-color, but I've gleefully masturbated to her a few times. Happy to see she's moving up in the world.

I badly want to shatter her pelvis with my peckah.

Have you seen her nudes?

Olson has been pandering to the feminists very loosely, but not to the point where she's insufferable. She has her politics (she's retweeted and photo'd herself in Howerton's trans-rights clothing line crap), but besides all that, she's been more so about playing the system than buying into it and turning into a complete cunt. She actually seems to be a sort of traditionalist when it comes to family...from what she's talked about in interviews; she seems pretty content being in a family where major decisions are driven by the patriarch (Mcelhenney), while she hangs back, acts in her husbands' show, and raises the kids in the downtime. So I don't think she can really take that soap box position that Amy has. Plus, unlike her character, she's NOT a whore; AMY IS, or has the potential to be. So I don't want to strangle her (yet), because she's one of the few women in this business that truly make me laugh out loud, and she's an essential part of one of my favorite shows on this planet.

This is the year where Amy is going to HAVE TO smarten up. Because SHE IS NOT SMART. AT ALL.

The feminists ARE NOT in her corner. The moderate/centrists comedy fans on the non-costal parts of the country ARE NOT in her corner.

She's an insecure fathead that used her friends for virtue-signaling (Notaro), while completely throwing her partners in comedy theft under the bus (Metzger). And with the mounting pile of theft evidence that comics who used to defend her (Cumia, Rogan) are outright acknowledging has validity; its not going to be long until this whole thing crumbles on top of her. The ground under her feet is already receding, and she's not going to be able to stand on one leg forever... probably because diabetes will eventually come for that one too

I like Olson and I'm happy for her. To clarify, I meant she is taking her place as the most popular female actress in comedies. Not her place as a politically pandering cunt.

They are just covering for the tranny storyline in Sunny I think.

No shit. It's really kinda surprising all they shit they have gotten away with with literally zero backlash. I mean fuck they've had multiple black face episodes.

IASIP seems to exist in that South Park area (although seen by less people than that show). They can make fun of anybody and nobody cares. I agree that it is shocking at how much stuff they have gotten away with.

I love IASIP, one of the few shows I can re-watch episodes and still laugh.

Maybe they should try a white dick occurrence or sumtin

Howerton's trans-rights clothing line\

Aw jeez, you weren't kidding

https://www.omaze.com/made/equality-3?ref=pride

Let it be known that I am ALL IN with the aaaah with the aah with the Kaitelynn Olsons

sniff

ahnestly I've had takin-a-likingggggs-aaa- to her for YEARS!

I've been ravin for YEARS about her. But the fawking SUITS don't fawkin know whats GOOD!

Well considering Amy's just been pretending to be Sweet Dee for years anyway I guess it only made sense to cut out the middle cow.

Amy's not a middle cow, shes a fat cow.

You know what, Dee? I don’t wanna hear about your dreams, okay? I hate listening to people’s dreams. It’s like flipping through a stack of old photographs. If I’m not in any of ’em and nobody’s having sex, I just... I don’t care.

Dee: Plus, it'll give me the opportunity to work on

Mac: LET THE MEN TALK DEE! LET THE MEN TALK!

Amy is a dumpster fire of a celebrity

The Mick is the best broadcast sitcom in a long, long time - good for her. And let's also not forget she was even a part of The Drew Carey Show, which I'd consider a classic.

Wait...really? She was on Drew Carey? I spent a lazy weekend watching all of that show in its entirety and don't recall her but that was years ago so I may just be retarded.

She was Traylor from 2002-2004 for 12 episodes according to Wikipedia, and seems to be a replacement for Kate when she left to do Scrubs.

She was on curb, too

DEE: (hysterical) Oh you guys...OOOhhhhh IM so happy to see you...I had the weirdest night, it was crazy...as soon as I was leaving Dennis' place, when I realized I DONT HAVE A CAR, right?! SO I actually DO have to run home by myself, through the park in the middle of the night?! So I'm on Spring Garden street, and this big car of gang-bangers pulls up and-

MAC: OK; GANG BANGERS! THAT IS AN AWESOME STORY DEE! THAT THE END OF IT, RIGHT?! THAT CAN BE THE END OF THE STORY?!

"The Mick" has some pretty funny moments, i quite enjoy it

Underrated comic actress, could have very easily been "the hole" in the Always Sunny cast letting the boys know their hijinks have real-life consequences, or the Lisa Simpson where she always has the right answer but those silly boys never listen!

Instead they made her the target of ridicule, selfish and entitled, who tries to be "the hole" but her opinions have absolutely no affect on the others. By extension, you create a far stronger comedic character with a wider range who the audience doesn't grow sick of, fucking 12 live-action seasons later.

Wish the lovely Kaitlyn nothing but the best.

Underrated how smart the humor is on Sunny.

Like South Park, people just see gross-out humor and don't realize the creators are probably smarter than any of their critics.

I stopped watching after season five after i noticed the writing dip in quality, does it get better?

You mean you didn't like season five or you did and it dipped in six?

I'd say season six was definitely their weakest. So yes, it does get better.

This recent one kind of sucks, though, don't you think?

The one that's currently airing? I don't think so.

An episode like the musical one you either love those types or hate them.

The first two have complemented each other well. Something broad like the musical one to something as simple as take the four of them and stick them in a waterpark.

It's only two episodes in and the last one at the Waterpark was really good so I wouldn't say the season as a whole sucks yet.

I've got AIDS, coming through...I've got AIDS. Not the gay kind of AIDS...

The last few seasons were great, this one stinks so far.

Simple rule: look for episodes where at least one of the main three guys has a writing credit. Season 5 was the first season where the majority of episodes were written by staff writers rather than the creators. Quality has been hit-or-miss since then.

Season 7 is their last genuinely good season. Season 8 was dogshit and the rest aren't much better. Most seasons have one or two good eps though

Hasnt got any better. First 5 seasons were best.

The later seasons are less; but still better than other show.

If you listen to early interviews it sounds like that was her doing. The initial script apparently had her written like that but when she came on board she talked them into letting her character be as shitty as everyone else in her own way.

yeah that's on the extras of the season 1 DVD. the script had her go "come on guys this isn't right" and she said fuck that, make my character crazy.

I legitimately think Dee is the funniest female character ever created. I'd love someone to name another one that comes close.

Catherine de medici

I totally agree about her great acting with except you make it sound like it was her decision or choice for her character's story arc and persona in "It's always Sunny". Directors, writers, and producers deserve credit or blame for these types of things. Although she does deserve credit for great execution.

"Better looking" then Amy yes. Good looking... naaaa

I can picture Amy co-hosting a podcast with Jim ten years from now, desperately trying to stay relevant so enough people show up to their latest Laugh Factory gig.

Naa. I'm thinking "Marinating the 'shromes" with Mark Marron and Amy Schumer.

Is that the new show with the 6 year old trans child with a sex toy in her mouth?

Hard pass...

The kid is trans?

Shut up, bird

What the fuck is going on in those comments.

WHO CARES? Holy fuck you guys are talking about Hollywood starlets like a bunch of faggots.

I would be surprised if Amy writes more than 5 minutes of her specials now a days, she's a figurehead of the real starving artist at the lower rung of the comedy ladder.

I actually want to fuck this one so definitely a step in the right direction, Hollywood Jews.

She probably works harder, has less of an ego to her bosses and generally seems more pleasant.

Aw cmon guys look, they're like twins: http://imgur.com/1SAAZPN

...or it was Parallel Photography at the most.

Based on the reported size of Ms Schumer, shouldnt this read spots?

(Don't know what to write...must comment...have to think of something...)

Dee's a Bird!!

I love how in the episode 'Being Frank' that shit always got laughs

I had that thought recently too while watching Always Sunny and The Mick that of all the shitty overrated woman in comedies these days, Dee is the only one out there that is actually funny. Who else is there? All I can think of is the fatty trio (Melissa, Pig Amy, Rebel, and honorable member Patton Oswalt!!! ohhh BURN!!!) and all those overrated cunts who came outta SNL.

Who else is there? I kept hearing people say Chelsea Peretti was funny but I tried to watch her stand-up once and couldn't make it more than 2 minutes, only thing funny about her is her cartoonishly oversized hook nose, bitch look likea jewish propaganda cartoon.

Enjoy that Jillian Bell broad. Funny on Workaholics and Idiot Sitter is not terrible.

Broad City girls are funny.

I don't know if she is funny on her own, but she executes her character well and makes me genuinely laugh.

Also, one of the only fictional characters in live action to blow a snot rocket on someone. The most unlady like thing imaginable and she did it. Bravo.

well, kaitlin olson is definitely more talented, but thats hardly an insult cause she might be the best girl working in comedy period.

i think she is kinda too smart and nuanced to make it real big in the total mainstream, starring as female lead and stuff.

Sweet fucking dee

thanks Trump

Kaitlin Olsen is actually funny without making only vagina jokes

Meh

She's haggard and that show is awful. Then again, you guys liked LOS.

Gay.

I scrolled down below this picture and noticed a link to an article about Soulja Boy. I had no idea it was spelled that way. Why do those people do that?

I fucking love this beautiful ostrich. She is actually talented...an absolute laugh riot on Always Sunny.

And she fucks Mac in real life. As opposed to Amy, who eats Macs...big macs...sawk cuckaz.

You know, I still have never heard Dunham's name anywhere other than here sometimes in relation to Schumer, and I still have no clue who she is or what she actually does to warrant being a celebrity.

Does she do stand up or act or do anything involving comedy at all? What has she been in? Is she just a glorified SJW that et worshipped by tumblrinas? Or is her dad just some rich jew that throws money at the media to make her daughter "famous"?

(((She))) was shoved in everyone's face, just like (((Lena Dunham))) . There's nothing special about either of (((them))) ; they were two girls picked up by (((Judd Apatow))) as some kind of assurance to everyone that women can be funny and successful.

I recently watched this episode. Danny Devito is a national treasure. "Tell it guuurrrrl!"