I hope you aren't referencing me or my posts, sir.
Let me be clear:
I will catch a plane to NY. Then I will find a local Heroin dealer and buy 3 bundles. I will then go to one of my old buddies apartments and set up a backwoods style mini chem lab in his kitchen, and do what I have to do to "uncut" 2 of the bundles as much as much as possible. I will take the strongest of the results and repackage its contents into one bundle. So now I have one weak ass street bundle, and one high purity bundle.
Next I will happen to stumble upon your bar as a loner, strike up a conversation with you, tip well, and eventually mention that I have some dope and we should rock a little after closing time. For a split second you wonder how I know you do heroin, but then you remember that you like like a fucking caricature of a standard Junkie, and opiate users are generally pretty good at spotting other opiate users. Your doubts quickly evaporate and you agree because you can't turn down free horse rides after a long shift. We will proceed to go get high on the standard low grade shit. Then the time comes where you start to want round 2. Since I am a cool guy I say yeah sure. But since I'm a lightweight casual user, the sun is coming up, and I have plans later that day I need to head out. I'm good, but you can get down, have a couple three doses on the house. That's when when I toss you a little bit of ol' refined recipe B, make pleasantries, and leave. Everything appears the same, and you have sized up the strength of the product based on your your extensive experience. We were just doing bumps before cause a rookie like me didn't show any intention of wanting to go straight to the vein. Since you are alone now you decide to go ahead and pull out your little kit, prep it, tie off and dose up. That dose hits you really hard and briefly confuses you before you nod out. I catch a flight out of town that afternoon.
A couple of days later I am back home, fucking around on reddit and I see that /u/stinkskc made a post about how he overdosed and has finally sworn of the dragon for good. Kratom is mentioned heavily in the comments, and you are also called a faggot by a few people (because that is exactly what would happen in this sub). I also make a quick comment joking about how it was probably just the hormone therapy drugs (because that is exactly what I would do). I think to myself that there is no way you should have survived that. In your post you mention that /u/braunheiser saved you by rushing you to the local ER, but you had never met him before in person, nor did you recall letting anyone into your apartment, since you locked the door when I left. I smirk to myself smugly, since my long held theory that braunheiser travels interdimensionally and lives in the ether is finally confirmed. My smirk quickly fades though as I realize my plan failed.
Two weeks later you are getting your life back together and things are starting to return to normal. Two weeks later I once again board a plane headed to NYC. This time I quickly knife you to death in the darkness after your shift like I should have just done in the first place. I catch the first flight back out of town that morning, and I get away with it easily.
There may be some subtext regarding how weak our understanding of the nature of the universe and reality in general is... but the moral of the story is that I've been been shitposting on the internet for years and it is nothing new. Likewise, anyone worth their salt here has been doing the same.
In all seriousness though, ever since this sub got all vigilante on amy schumer and opie cake stomp, it has attracted in some outsider types who would never stumble upon or like this place. Probably not so coincidentally, there have been a couple of posts outside of here regarding Schumer joke theft (and general un-likeability) that have gained some traction. Also, there have been some cake stomp videos that had a resurgence within the last couple days. That shit gives the sub some heat from average shitty reddit users. Then they get here and aren't sure what to make of the place but they still think it is wise to comment or create a post for some reason, and it usually sucks and they are usually pussies about it.
Anyways, there are a couple UFC fights that might be good toward the end of the main card tonight, so maybe I'll see you fegs in the chat later. I can probably find a decent stream if any of you inept fools still don't know how to. Also, the only reason Braunheiser saved you is because he felt guilty about being unable to prevent Brian Gilgore from hanging himself, so you lucked out with timing there.
I was just gonna make a small regular comment, then somewhere it took a turn into short story mode.
I had a roommate who was opiate addicted, but it was always pills. We were pretty good friends and hung out all the time - not like the type of roommates who pass each other in the hall like once a day and just say hey to each other. So on a decent handful of occasions I'd chip in (AKA get overcharged by my addict buddy). But financials were good and I knew it was happening, though I did not quite grasp the extent of his addiction; it took a year or so of knowing him to really get how much it controlled his life.
He got laid off and I found myself financially supporting him a lot, like "don't worry bro dinners on me... every time", or "oh your alternator broke and now I guess I drive us to autozone and buy you a new one." It was almost like being a parent sometimes, but we got along like good friends still nonetheless - I was generous. Then I would come back from being out of town on business all week and be like "hey have you seen video game X or y?" I caught on pretty quick at that point and confronted him on the stealing thing, that was crossing the line after all the support I had willingly given him. Luckily he admitted to it instead of a bullshit story which he often had for other situations. I was prepared to start a full blown fist fight if he had thrown me some bs. At this point our other super boring roommate - the say hi in the hallway kind- had given him a month to leave because they just did not get along... he had no idea about the drugs) so we hung out like normal pretty much until he left.
I personally could easily manage to keep it to every now and then and usually on the weekend or at least the end of the day after all my shit was sorted out. But I can understand how it happens. A few stiff drinks and ripping a few pink percocets throughout the night? It was great, and I have a hard time describing an opiate high other than that kid on christmas morning feeling. I got to the point of drowsiness and hit the nod a couple times and I really didn't like that. Even though you are happy it felt like wasting the night and some money as well. But it was great to be in that middle zone where you are still very coherent and can crack jokes and are coordinated enough to play some ping pong or a video game or whatever. Luckily I learned through him how much it can control someone's life, and luckily I didn't ever feel the "need for them." Or ever get legit withdrawals. I noticed that they seemed to compound hangovers though, which sucked. So in summary, yeah I had some experience, but nothing even close to being a real deal addict and I wouldn't consider myself really an "ex opiate guy" but I can spot one pretty easily most the time.
Sorry that story was a little less fun I think.
Unfortunately, that post I put a little effort into up above (that would probably have gotten some chuckles from our crew of weirdos) is prolly gonna go unnoticed since I commented on such an old post mid-way through Sunday morning. I couldn't give a damn about upvotes, but I like to give back to the community every now and then since I can't do it through an awful podcast like about half the regulars seem to attempt. Regardless of the bashing I would receive for that short novel, I know a solid handful would have enjoyed it. Ah well, I kinda enjoyed writing it anyway. I am a long winded chatty Kathy motherfucker today... IDK what's up maybe I am about to get my period for the first time.
18 comments
n/a Guinness525 2017-01-14
Lately?
n/a bonniesretardsister 2017-01-14
The shitposts have been higher than usual the past 48 hours.
n/a I_Hate_Knickers 2017-01-14
It's because princess layer died.
n/a iWhereSchortSchorts 2017-01-14
The bitch on the Pringles can died? sniff
n/a I_Hate_Knickers 2017-01-14
Your flair enrages me Ian.
n/a stinksskc 2017-01-14
hold on let me fix it
n/a I_Hate_Knickers 2017-01-14
😀
n/a copomash 2017-01-14
Fuck you
n/a stinksskc 2017-01-14
hey :(
n/a copomash 2017-01-14
Haha it just seemed appropriate :)
n/a A_Friendly_Creeper 2017-01-14
You're sexy
n/a racemic_mixture 2017-01-14
I hope you aren't referencing me or my posts, sir.
Let me be clear:
I will catch a plane to NY. Then I will find a local Heroin dealer and buy 3 bundles. I will then go to one of my old buddies apartments and set up a backwoods style mini chem lab in his kitchen, and do what I have to do to "uncut" 2 of the bundles as much as much as possible. I will take the strongest of the results and repackage its contents into one bundle. So now I have one weak ass street bundle, and one high purity bundle.
Next I will happen to stumble upon your bar as a loner, strike up a conversation with you, tip well, and eventually mention that I have some dope and we should rock a little after closing time. For a split second you wonder how I know you do heroin, but then you remember that you like like a fucking caricature of a standard Junkie, and opiate users are generally pretty good at spotting other opiate users. Your doubts quickly evaporate and you agree because you can't turn down free horse rides after a long shift. We will proceed to go get high on the standard low grade shit. Then the time comes where you start to want round 2. Since I am a cool guy I say yeah sure. But since I'm a lightweight casual user, the sun is coming up, and I have plans later that day I need to head out. I'm good, but you can get down, have a couple three doses on the house. That's when when I toss you a little bit of ol' refined recipe B, make pleasantries, and leave. Everything appears the same, and you have sized up the strength of the product based on your your extensive experience. We were just doing bumps before cause a rookie like me didn't show any intention of wanting to go straight to the vein. Since you are alone now you decide to go ahead and pull out your little kit, prep it, tie off and dose up. That dose hits you really hard and briefly confuses you before you nod out. I catch a flight out of town that afternoon.
A couple of days later I am back home, fucking around on reddit and I see that /u/stinkskc made a post about how he overdosed and has finally sworn of the dragon for good. Kratom is mentioned heavily in the comments, and you are also called a faggot by a few people (because that is exactly what would happen in this sub). I also make a quick comment joking about how it was probably just the hormone therapy drugs (because that is exactly what I would do). I think to myself that there is no way you should have survived that. In your post you mention that /u/braunheiser saved you by rushing you to the local ER, but you had never met him before in person, nor did you recall letting anyone into your apartment, since you locked the door when I left. I smirk to myself smugly, since my long held theory that braunheiser travels interdimensionally and lives in the ether is finally confirmed. My smirk quickly fades though as I realize my plan failed.
Two weeks later you are getting your life back together and things are starting to return to normal. Two weeks later I once again board a plane headed to NYC. This time I quickly knife you to death in the darkness after your shift like I should have just done in the first place. I catch the first flight back out of town that morning, and I get away with it easily.
There may be some subtext regarding how weak our understanding of the nature of the universe and reality in general is... but the moral of the story is that I've been been shitposting on the internet for years and it is nothing new. Likewise, anyone worth their salt here has been doing the same.
In all seriousness though, ever since this sub got all vigilante on amy schumer and opie cake stomp, it has attracted in some outsider types who would never stumble upon or like this place. Probably not so coincidentally, there have been a couple of posts outside of here regarding Schumer joke theft (and general un-likeability) that have gained some traction. Also, there have been some cake stomp videos that had a resurgence within the last couple days. That shit gives the sub some heat from average shitty reddit users. Then they get here and aren't sure what to make of the place but they still think it is wise to comment or create a post for some reason, and it usually sucks and they are usually pussies about it.
Anyways, there are a couple UFC fights that might be good toward the end of the main card tonight, so maybe I'll see you fegs in the chat later. I can probably find a decent stream if any of you inept fools still don't know how to. Also, the only reason Braunheiser saved you is because he felt guilty about being unable to prevent Brian Gilgore from hanging himself, so you lucked out with timing there.
TL;DR = fuck you read it I put some effort in.
n/a stinksskc 2017-01-14
bravo. you know me better than most "friends" youre way too smart, use it to make money somehow. 10/10
n/a racemic_mixture 2017-01-14
I was just gonna make a small regular comment, then somewhere it took a turn into short story mode.
I had a roommate who was opiate addicted, but it was always pills. We were pretty good friends and hung out all the time - not like the type of roommates who pass each other in the hall like once a day and just say hey to each other. So on a decent handful of occasions I'd chip in (AKA get overcharged by my addict buddy). But financials were good and I knew it was happening, though I did not quite grasp the extent of his addiction; it took a year or so of knowing him to really get how much it controlled his life.
He got laid off and I found myself financially supporting him a lot, like "don't worry bro dinners on me... every time", or "oh your alternator broke and now I guess I drive us to autozone and buy you a new one." It was almost like being a parent sometimes, but we got along like good friends still nonetheless - I was generous. Then I would come back from being out of town on business all week and be like "hey have you seen video game X or y?" I caught on pretty quick at that point and confronted him on the stealing thing, that was crossing the line after all the support I had willingly given him. Luckily he admitted to it instead of a bullshit story which he often had for other situations. I was prepared to start a full blown fist fight if he had thrown me some bs. At this point our other super boring roommate - the say hi in the hallway kind- had given him a month to leave because they just did not get along... he had no idea about the drugs) so we hung out like normal pretty much until he left.
I personally could easily manage to keep it to every now and then and usually on the weekend or at least the end of the day after all my shit was sorted out. But I can understand how it happens. A few stiff drinks and ripping a few pink percocets throughout the night? It was great, and I have a hard time describing an opiate high other than that kid on christmas morning feeling. I got to the point of drowsiness and hit the nod a couple times and I really didn't like that. Even though you are happy it felt like wasting the night and some money as well. But it was great to be in that middle zone where you are still very coherent and can crack jokes and are coordinated enough to play some ping pong or a video game or whatever. Luckily I learned through him how much it can control someone's life, and luckily I didn't ever feel the "need for them." Or ever get legit withdrawals. I noticed that they seemed to compound hangovers though, which sucked. So in summary, yeah I had some experience, but nothing even close to being a real deal addict and I wouldn't consider myself really an "ex opiate guy" but I can spot one pretty easily most the time.
Sorry that story was a little less fun I think.
Unfortunately, that post I put a little effort into up above (that would probably have gotten some chuckles from our crew of weirdos) is prolly gonna go unnoticed since I commented on such an old post mid-way through Sunday morning. I couldn't give a damn about upvotes, but I like to give back to the community every now and then since I can't do it through an awful podcast like about half the regulars seem to attempt. Regardless of the bashing I would receive for that short novel, I know a solid handful would have enjoyed it. Ah well, I kinda enjoyed writing it anyway. I am a long winded chatty Kathy motherfucker today... IDK what's up maybe I am about to get my period for the first time.
n/a Guinness525 2017-01-14
Nope. Not reading this one. I paid my dues with the first part about killing Stinks, but this is just too much.
n/a racemic_mixture 2017-01-14
This one is an actual real explanation responding to stinks, I wasn't trying to be entertaining.
n/a Guinness525 2017-01-14
Peckahs.