Also I havent touched a girl in literally 9 years.

I'm sorry to hear that pesky Meagan's Law had such a negative impact on your love life...

I mean it does raise the issue of an underage offender being held accountable as an adult but when the victim is a toddler I'm all for charging 14 year olds as adults...

lol have all my le upboats good sir

What's the trouble, it seems like it's going fine? Im fucking jealous, I want that.

Well the title of the thread is "girl trouble," but I don't see any trouble happening yet, you knucklehead.

There's plenty of time for that to happen. Just eat that 18yr old ass while you have the chance. And try not to cum in her.

Yeah that's a tough call, whether to jerk or not. It really could go either way.

I don't understand what the problem is here.

The things guys do for pussy, like posting here, asking for advice.

Not funny.

You should just flat out ask to coom on her boobs

Somehow i am guessing asking questions here never got anyone laid.

That's a lie, "how much?" works.

Did you try to threaten suicide? Chicks did that shit.

Maybe you shouldn't just threaten next time.

You are playing it way too safe. Netflix and chill, dude. Then you can start corrupting her and save her from the clutches of the church.

She's assuming you have more experience here and wants you to make the first move. She obviously likes you so don't overthink anything, just ask to hangout.

Depends on the context. Did you ask her to hangout on a weekend and she said she's busy every weekend and offered no alternative days? Ask to hangout on a weekday, stupid. Be persistent if you like her.

Maybe you're an ugly r-word and all her friends are playing a joke on you.

I have trouble believing you're not autistic now. I'm no social butterfly but you obviously asked her to a specific event which took place on a weekend, when she's unavailable.

So let me get this straight:

• She said she has a crush on you
• She said she's willing to drive to you
• She's trying to work out with you when she's free

Does she have to spell out "fuck me, SPED"? I hope she's hit by a truck on her way to visit you.

Jesus dude. You're over thinking this. For the love of god don't fall for this girl or wrap your depression up in it.

You need to start simple. force yourself to go out and socialise. Start a conversation with a drunk chick in a bar. Don't put any women on a pedestal.

No one is going to come along and fix your problems and walk you through it and be your girlfriend.

Don't get hurt by rejection. Every nigger here (especially here) has dealt with it. It can feel absolutely soul destroying but it's in your own head. If a slit doesn't want you who the fuck cares? MAKE broads want you. It's the only way.

No one is going to want to be with you if you're a weird unhealthy slob that can't socialise. YOU, and only YOU has to change that. It's not hard when you realise there's nothing standing in your way but your self.

Good. Stop being such a fucking retard then. See where it goes with this chick if you really want to but just prepare mentally to accept it might go nowhere.

Go fuck some easy skanks. You'll feel better and less autistic.

It's so cliche but it's true. just fucking do it and stop being a fag

I'm giving you so much of my time because I've been there. I was you 6 years ago. I leeched on to girls who gave me attention and treated them like queens when they were objectively selfish people.

Don't do it. Nobody cares about your problems or your anxiety or depression. You can either try and find others to help and make yourself worse or you can actually fix it and do it yourself.

Nobody will love you if you don't love yourself. Only hard work and determination will lead to happiness. When you're happy with yourself women will naturally magnate to you. If you're broken you'll only get other co dependant messes.

I've been cheated on by my wife and I have to see the guy who stole her live in my house and raise my kid. Don't learn the hard way.

Another thing, whatever you do for a living - do it better and work more. Don't look at it as a bad thing. It's not. It pays off. Not just financially.

Working every weekend isn't weird. I did when I was that age. Most kids do. I still work almost every weekend.

Just say "let me know when you're free and we can finally hang out!"

Then if she still evades it. Forget her. Look at her from someone else's eyes. She's only great in yours.

Your acting cucky, you only have 1 life to live unless you are some sorta Hindu-queeb, it doesn't sounds like you are taking advantage of that shit.

*You're

Just trying to keep high standards here.

I here what you're saying I make that mistake too much.

I hope she's hit by a truck on her way to visit you.

I owe you one peckah tug for making my day.

I've worked every weekend for the last 5 years. Some people have different schedules

She sounds like shes stringing you along. Ask her to fuck, if she says no, bail, buy a whore, 9 years is to long

OP should ask to smell her breath and then kiss her.

If you met her on an app like tinder or bumble or whatever, she's seeing and fucking other guys. That's why she's busy "every weekend this month" - prioritizing better looking guys over you.

The thing with being an 18-year-old girl is that a lot of guys want to fuck you. Handsomer, funnier, more athletic, more desirable guys than Captain "I havent touched a girl in literally 9 years". But hey, she'll text you and keep you dangling on the line because it's positive male attention coming her way, so you get kiss emojis while some other guy is loosening up her vagina.

I wouldn't worry about her losing interest because she never was interested in you to begin with. Remember the old Patrice bit about how guys want pussy from girls, but girls want time from guys? Keep texting cutesy shit every day without any physical interaction whatsoever, or just move on to another tinder gal and don't be such a beta pussy the next time you get a match.

You're not a fat girl on facebook.

You don't get to post your stupid self-made problems and expect only praise and encouragement. You go Matt! Any girl would be lucky to land a stud like you! Flawless!

I'm sorry but there are two options here:

1. She's moderately okay-looking or higher, and is communicating with a lot more guys than you. Having sweet conversations with you and blowing them.

2. She's ugly as sin, the guys at high school don't give her attention, so she latches onto the first thirsty suitor she can (you).

The third option, where this sweet innocent flower has fallen completely for "havent touched a girl in 9 years", but her gosh darn work schedule is just so complicated for her to spend one minute with you, it isn't very realistic. This isn't a fucking Disney movie

He's telling you the truth. I'm willing to bet he has some real actual experience with women because he's completely spot on.

You'll learn!

You're a dummy then

You're being a defensive cunt who wants validation, not advice.

She initiates conversation with you because that's what she wants. The knowledge that there's a guy out there waiting from the crack of dawn til evening who'll be there for her, listen to her bullshit, chat and flirt.

Are you at all aware of the concept of the "friendzone"? Why do you think it's such a common, universal thing for girls to spend their youth hanging out and talking with boys, and then when poor Trevor works up the courage to kiss her, she wants to stay friends? Do you think it's just a coincidence that so many guys, from the age of 13-20, have eventually found themselves being put in the friendzone with a girl they liked?

If she's giving you bullshit excuses why you can't see her (oh man im working every weekend sorry lol) and you're so into this girl that you're stalking her social media to see who she hangs out with, those are MAJOR FUCKING RED FLAGS that override any "omg I have a crush on you ;)" shit.

Do you understand the definition of the word "defensive"?

Because you just spent an entire post defending your stupid relationship from criticism and ended it with "I'm not being defensive".

This girl isn't an evil malicious cunt, she's like the vast majority of 18-year-olds. Wanting male attention without giving up the puss. Get your emotional needs met while also not having the bitchy girls in gym class call you a slut because a classmate heard a rumor she puts out for older boys.

But hey, you haven't touched a girl in 9 years and ask r/opieandanthony for girl advice, so who the fuck am I to question you? You're clearly an expert on women so why ask us lowly schmucks for answers you already have? She's madly in love with you, nothing could go wrong, and anyone saying otherwise you're just gonna downvote like the emotionally stable fella you are.

You: I'M CRAZY AND STUPID AND PISSED OFF.

Me: By comparison, I'm cool and calm and collected.

You: FAG UNLIKABLE BETA FAG IM RIGHT STOP BEING A BITCH

Me: Woah there character, I'm too calm and collected to stoop to your childish insults.

You: SO ANGRY CANT TALK GOOD BAHSDAOHFSOAHFOASHFOASDHDOS FART FART FART STUPID ASS BITCH

Me: Yikes. Well I've clearly won this argument by being calm, reasonable, and logical while my opponent has clearly lost the argument by being a raving lunatic.

This is what I was trying to articulate. It's pretty horrible but it's the truth.

Get your head in the game man. Stop being a beta gay fag and be a man.

dont cuck out guy.

Kill her and fuck the corpse.

Never let a woman see you as humble or hear you make self deprecating jokes. Don't be worried about coming off as overconfident or arrogant or a know-it-all. Most women who are smart enough to notice don't mind, as confidence is like top 3 things they want in a guy. No bullshit I'm 26 and I just realized this 3 months ago and a lot has changed for me. If a woman is yelling at you "you think you're so fucking smart don't you?" That means you are IN. Most women just want a man to grab them by the hand and say "I've got this, everything is going to be fine" and MEAN it.

I'm currently shitting at work while I type this so I might be wrong. It worked for me though.

Why the fuck would you come here of all places for relationship advice?

say that to her

Just rape her, post vids here.

hey ther friend, I'm 24 and so I'm sure we've a lot in common considering we have the same taste in fun morning radio, the best route to take in my humble opinion is to rape and kill her

This explains why all of your posts annoy me. Thank you for revealing why you have no ability to critically think or make a coherent point. It's because you're the stereotypical loser internet commenter I've always heard about!

Going off information on this thread, I'm guessing you live in Boston BTW, or at least MA.

Nigga, haven't you heard of "The BLACK Phillip Show?"

Just jack off and play video games.

I think a 23 year old trying to date an 18 year old is creepier than a 50 year old trying to fuck one.

I'm 29 and I date 18 year olds. It's a lot more stress free than dating girls my age. My ex wife is 31 and I'm never doing that again.

I used to think all girls were cunts till they were about 25 and then they mellowed out but they just get worse as they age.

Women straight up suck.

You have nothing in common with this girl, and you hang out online here. Sounds like a perfect match if you ask me. SMH. Go see a call girl, and make sure you pay her for two hours, because you will blow a nut before you even get there. Tell her you need to build your confidence and you need multiple pops in a two hour session. Do this once a year until you learn how to properly sleigh some pussy.

You sound like one of those guys who will fall in love with the first girl that gives them some pussy. You need to have your heart broken 2 or 3 x before you can properly deal with a relationship. Once your heart turns into a black souless pit, you will take no shit off of bitches. You will learn that you don't need anybody but yourself, and when the right guy comes along you'll have a real relationship.

I think you should do a school shooting and make all those whores PAY for rejecting you

Everybody is fuckn that cunt,worry wart.

Act like a human being for 5 minutes and hold a conversation with her. If u do that enough times, and your intentions are clear enough, shit will happen. Then tell her about ole turtle fingers will be at Goonies in Rochester, MN 24 thru da 26

Act like a human being for 5 minutes and hold a conversation with her. If u do that enough times, and your intentions are clear enough, shit will happen.