She saw through your sad grab for pity. 1000 years of evolution kicked in and gave her a vision of invertebrate, pathetic offspring with you and saved her.
More likely that she just didn't get it. Maybe she thought he's trying to say he's very curious, or stubbornly un-superstitious. Never underestimate the stupidity of a broad
That's her way of telling you she's not interested in. Girls have no discernible sense of humor. They laugh at a man's jokes if they like him. They don't if they're not.
I've fundamentally changed the way I interact with women after my divorce and it's made life a lot easier.
I tell them up front I want to hook up and if they don't, I ask someone else.
You'd be surprised how many times it works. Don't get me wrong, most will say no or act offended but who gives a fuck?
I'm at that perfect age of 29 though where you can still interest young chicks and older women who are in panic mode at finding anyone.
"Hey, I know this is really forward but do you want to hang out and see if anything happens? I'm not interested in pretending to be interested in mundane conversation"
Get over that first hurdle and do it, it's easy. It works better in person at bars though.
No ground work. Do the ground work when you meet. If it's gonna happen it's gonna happen. You're setting yourself up for failure.
Don't go for a meal or a coffee either. Go for drinks. I usually meet them with friends, it's less awkward and they've usually got drunk beforehand. It makes everything a lot easier. Just buy a load of shots. Be fun. Carefree.
Let me tell you the situation and you can tailor your advice.
Im 23. shes 18, and a senior in high school. She works in a christian nursing home, shes kind of religious but isnt "sure about it". She usually works after school and says shes working every weekend this month. Her shifts are like 9 hours so I sort of sympathize, but also feel a bit slighted.
We've been talking every day for about a week, she almost always texts or snapchats me first thing in the morning. We've been very teenager flirty, saying each other are cute, kiss emojis, the shit that makes you feel really gay, as a dude. She says stuff like "can I tell you something? I have a crush on youâ¤" we listen to the same kind of music, thats about the only thing we have in common.
So I dont doubt at all that she likes me on some level. But Im definitely worried about playing it too safe and her losing interest.
I have no idea. I wouldn't have gone along that far without seeing her in person.
You've just got to move things in that direction and if she won't, then cut her off.
She's finding comfort in you and I'm cynical so I think she's probably doing it for selfish reasons, instinctively I think she's using you to boost her self esteem to fuck with guys she knows from school or work. I'm not saying it to upset you or be edgy. That's just the vibe I get. I'm not usually wrong.
I don't know if thinking like that is a self fulfilling prophecy but I wish I was more demand and ruthless when I was your age and dating girls and meeting my future ex wife.
I think the right girl will make the effort and compromises to see you and if they won't do that then you shouldn't be with them. We as guys will do really stupid annoying shit to accommodate girls.
She seems like the kind of girl who doesnt particularly talk to a bunch of guys. She seems sort of introverted, which I am as well. The only picture she has with a guy in it is her brother. Also shes Laosian so she might have some of that Asian conservatism.
Women are attracted to men that are better than them. They want a guy that's taller, stronger, smarter, funnier, cooler, more successful etc. then they are. They want somebody that will never break down no matter what they throw at them.
Women are like toddlers. Ever heard of the terrible twos? It's when a kid is around two they scream and beg for everything and bitch when they don't get it. But if you give a toddler everything it wants like letting it stay up late, eating w/e and watching television it will be MISERABLE. Even though you gave it everything it said it wanted, it will be miserable and angry constantly and grow up to be a sad little mean shit.
The key to having a happy healthy child is to set clear boundaries and not give in to their cries. Telling a toddler no, making it go to bed at the right time and only feeding it what it should get etc. will lead to a very happy toddler. Even though it will occasionally scream and throw a tantrum, it will overall love you way way more and be very happy.
Well, that's what women are like. They want boundaries. This part is important - They want to know that if they don't act a certain way that you will bounce and get a new girl. That's what women love. Women love feeling and 'acting' feminine when it's for the right guy. They love dressing up and doing all that submissive girly shit to impress a guy, they get off on it. You have to be the type of guy that would make them want to do that.
Women are attracted to men that have other girls in their life. Remember how I said that women are attracted to guys that are better (higher value) than they are? Well what conveys value better than banging multiple girls? It's called 'social proof'. If other women have pre-selected you than that means that you must be a cool, high value guy.
If you're on a date and it's not going anywhere and you check your phone and there's like 13 messages from different girls and your date notices this, she will immediately be 1000% more interested in you. Now she has competition. Now she has a reason to act a certain way. Now you're interesting and mysterious. Now you're this big question mark. Now you've given her a purpose in life.
Only ever use texting for logistics. Would an interesting guy who is banging multiple girls text one girl all the time? No. He wouldn't. He would only use it to try to set up dates or make her come over. You're a busy guy who doesn't have time to deal with her nonsense. Don't text her 'happy new year' or any b/s. That shows her that instead of partying and having fun you're thinking about her. Yuck. Never tell her what you're doing or what you're up to. Let her fill in the blanks. She'll fill them with w/e would make her more attracted to you.
Never take them seriously. Treat them like bratty sisters. Make fun of them. Escalate physically as much as they will let you. Make strong eye contact when you're speaking with her. The only time you break eye contact during conversation is to check her out. Do this openly. Feel free to check out other women as well when you're around her. This will encourage her to work harder for you attention. That's exactly what they want. Never 'overtly' tell her you're seeing other girls, only let her infer this. Don't brag about it, she'll catch on immediately that you're full of shit.
Also, I'm pushing a little harder for a meetup with her, per some advice from the other thread. If nothing else it will get her thinking that I'll "bounce" if she wants to string it along through text for much longer. Which is true, I'm not gaining anything from texting her.
Part of learning about women is accepting some very uncomfortable truths. Here's one of your first ones. This girl will never fuck you. Ever. You've completely fucked everything.
Women put guys in two different categories.
Lover
Provider
You have been put in the provider category. You provide her validation and meaningless attention when she feels bored. She feels absolutely zero attraction towards you because not once have you shown her that you have balls, let alone a penis.
If you're just meeting or talking to a girl for the first time, never hide your intentions. Women love being 'wanted', but they absolutely despise being needed. Women hate responsibility more than anything in the world. That's why women CEOs and women with stay-at-home husbands are miserable. They hate making decisions, they hate thinking for themselves, they hate being responsible for things. I can't stress this enough. And so if you need a girl to like you, you're giving her responsibility over how you feel. She hates that. That's why women run the other way when you show how invested you are in them. They want you to want them, but never need them. They want to know that you will be 100% a-ok without them. You're choosing to be with them because they're acting right and behaving properly.
You know that stereotype about how women never know where they want to eat and how men wish women would just decide? Well, that exists for a reason. Women just want you to decide where you're going and when. Tell her what to wear. Tell her what to order.
Now back to the lover/provider model. In a women's eyes, you can move from the 'Lover' column to the 'Provider' column very easily by being a pussy, but you can never move back into the 'Lover' column once you're in the 'Provider' column. It's possible, but basically impossible and 100% impossible in your case.
Lovers show intent. They flirt with multiple girls and don't get shy. They don't open up emotionally. They leave the girl asking questions. They fool around with the girl, make fun of her and never take her seriously. They make all the decisions when it comes to dating. They never break down and can handle their own shit easily.
Providers are too afraid to show intent. They do what you do and for 95% of guys do which is they try to friendzone their way into her pants. They text her heaps. They tell her what they've been up to. They open up about how they feel about the girl. They never set clear boundaries. They never make fun of her. They let the girl use them for validation. They struggle to even maintain strong eye contact.
Ditch this girl 100%. Never message her again. You need to build these mental muscles up. You need to be the type of guy that can drop a girl instantly and not care. Move on to the next one. She'll wonder where you went and what you're doing. She'll wonder about you. Never try to hit her up again. Not tomorrow. Not in a week. Not in a month. Not in a year. She doesn't exist anymore. You fucked up, move on. You either win or you learn.
Not trying to be defensive, as I was accused of earlier. But other than being flirty I haven't said anything gay like "I really like you" or "I just wanna hang out with you" or whatever. I'm doing my best to not come off needy in the slightest, which is why I barely initiate conversation with her, yet we still seem to talk at least once a day.
You might be right about the lover/provider thing but I don't know if I could have possibly ruined my chances already because we flirt and talk about normal shit pretty much equal parts. I'm not the first one to say something flirty usually (let me say flirt some more, christ) but when we started talking I suggested meeting up pretty much right away. But I picked a day that she works, so now I feel like a little bitch boy to have another go at setting up plans. Like I'm nagging her to hang out, which I know is a surefire way to get friendzoned, or ignored altogether.
I texted her earlier today asking again about plans. I said "If I drive to you (we're two hours apart), do you still not have any free time this month? That's so long to just talk and not meet up." She'll either read that as "hey i just really like you and wanna be with you" which is obviously a turn off. Or she'll read that as "oh he's not going to just let this be a text thing. I better shit or get off the pot, so to speak."
In general, you ask a girl out in person. If you can't do that, you do it over the phone. Only pussies with no balls or game (95% of dudes) ask women out over text. If you're too scared to ask them out over the phone or in person, how the fuck could you be worthy to fuck them? A high value guy doesn't have the time or couldn't be fucked texting for ages. Texting is for logistics only remember?
You call them, they most likely won't answer so you leave a voice message. 'Hey it's (whoever you are), I'm going to be at (insert place) on (insert time). Come with me.' then you insert a sexual joke.
They will call you back. Don't answer. They will text you. Immediately call them after they text you. Shows them you were probably busy.
If they really are busy at that time, they will say something like 'I'm so sorry I'm busy, but I'm available ...' and they will tell you when they're available. Let's pretend they said they're available friday lunchtime. You would reply with something like 'Friday at 12:30pm, we're getting coffee and something to eat at (insert place), don't forget to wear those tight jeans' or w/e. It has to be no big deal. It doesn't matter to you. It's never serious, you're just wanting to have fun with some girl. That's all it is. You decide when and where it is though, they don't make any decisions. Don't make them think too much about the logistics, that's entirely your job. Never contact them again until the date.
Now let's say she was busy but she doesn't really give you a time when she's available. Don't than ask her when she is available because it's game over at that point. You're out. She has to show interest in you. She will show interest subtly by saying '..but I'm available on (insert times)' to let you set something else up. If she doesn't do that, you're out. Obviously if you're advanced there would be way more too this with certain subtleties and ways to save it, but for now just keep these simple things in mind.
Read this and then read this. They're very important.
In response to your first part, do you factor in that this girl is 18? I have no problem talking on the phone but any time she has the option to text or call me, she chooses to text. Could be because she's not that invested (she's likely not) or it could be that talking on the phone doesn't even come to mind unless I call her.
And I definitely understand the part about making all the decisions, no girl wants to be asked where they'd like to eat or what they'd like to do. Which is why I'm in a weird spot after she said she's working the day of this specific thing I invited her to (a concert), so now it feels like I have to let her say "Hey I'm free this day" or I'll just be pestering her.
Now for a very specific question. I texted her this at 3:10 today - "If I drive to you, do you still not have any free time this month? That's so long to just talk and not meet up." She works after school but she definitely had time to text back if she wanted to. It's now 8:00, she got off work at 7:30, and still no response. How bad of a move would it be to call her in like an hour or so and follow up on the text she didn't respond to? I don't know if it would come off super desperate, like "babe, you there? you didn't respond :(". Or if it would come off super casual, more like "soo, whats up? You wanna make plans or not?" I'm obviously shooting for the latter.
You really need to forget this girl. I get you haven't gotten laid in ages so you're incredibly needy but like I said earlier, you need to practice not giving a fuck about any girl in particular. They're all very similar and not that special.
"If I drive to you, do you still not have any free time this month? That's so long to just talk and not meet up."
The first sentence absolutely reeks of desperation. The second one is making her feel bad for not meeting up and is also reeking of desperation. You're showing so much neediness. Gross. It shouldn't even be a thing.
"babe, you there? you didn't respond :("
You may as well cut your entire dick and balls off.
Women would crawl through a pile of shit and barbed wire to get to a guy they're attracted to. She is just enjoying the validation you're giving her. But now you're heading towards the creepiness territory and she will drop you immediately and you'll be left wondering 'but she said she liked me and messaged me all the time? how can she suddenly be so cold?' Women can lose attraction in half a second. That's the nature of women.
Read them all. If she ever texts you again it is purely for some kind of emotional validation or because she's bored. Block her number. Block her on everything. Go to a bar/club and approach women sober.
The most important resource for all this would be to go and watch RSD contect. Specifically RSDTyler. Watch his older videos. It's all on youtube.
Also, not that it really matters at this point but the "if I drive to you" thing is because she went in the ditch two nights ago and her car is fucked. I agree it still sounds desperate, but maybe slightly less. Or not.
Instead of 'If I drive to you ... ' say 'I'l pick you up after school on friday and we'll go eat at (some place)'. Remember, the logistics are non-issues. They're not questions, and you're not hoping she says yes. Assume she's down and just set it up.
But again, forget this girl forever. Build those not giving a fuck muscles.
Yeah but that's to be expected. Men before our time went through rites of passage. A rite of passage is the most important thing for a man to go through. Think about history and all the things young men were expected to do. The struggles they faced. Pain makes you grow. It builds character and will power. It turns you into a man.
Nowadays we don't have any of that, we can just live from craving to craving and spend all day day-dreaming. We never really grew up. So many people in this generation are living this extended adolescence. Why do you think cuckolding fetishes are on the rise? This is a generation of men that jerked off daily to porn where some guy fucks a girl that they want to fuck. That is obviously going to effect there brains in some way. Couple that with being praised for everything growing up and being comfortable all the time and suddenly we have men everywhere that are timid, numb and submissive.
You need to forge your own rite of passage. You're a lot tougher than you think. You've gone without women for a long time, your life hasn't been anywhere near as comfortable as anyone elses in your country. You have to learn from the pain though. Live in it. Embrace it. Let it forge you into a new man. Don't wallow away in it, revel in it. Don't feel sorry for yourself, there's a sick comfort in that that breeds more weakness.
Put yourself into uncomfortable situations. Work out, stretch, go to bed early and wake up early, eat right, don't look at porn, don't jerk off, let go of all the things you have no control over. Kick life in the teeth, you're tougher than you think. You know you are.
You're right about wallowing in your misery, it absolutely creates comfort. I've been thinking about getting off zoloft for this reason. Once I felt a hint of depression it snowballed because I just felt bad for myself. Fast forward 2 years and I'm a zilch with a very simple life who is "clinically depressed" for no understandable reason.
I understand chemical imbalance in the brain, but I don't think I have that. I think I willed depression and anxiety on myself by just being a self pitying little bitch. And then I was relieved when a psychiatrist agreed that I'm depressed and would try to get me on something because I could finally be the victim I wanted to be and no one could tell me otherwise because a doc said so.
Let's see if I can't change my life for the better after today
Word. At this point she still hasn't responded, so you're right. I absolutely ended it with that "what if I drive to you?" text. If that killed it, it wasn't going anywhere anyways. At this point I'm glad I barely invested a week in this chick.
At this point I'm glad I barely invested a week in this chick.
That's a step in the right direction in terms of having the right mentality. It's a game about who cares less. Remember to watch RSDTyler's videos on youtube. Specifically the older ones. Very important.
I just subscribed to his channel. I'm unemployed at the moment so I have nothing to do but absorb info and workout every day, between job searching.
In response to your "approach women at the bar, sober" comment, I don't drink at all but whats the policy on pot smoking? Probably doesn't do any favors right?
I'm pretty indifferent to pot smoking. As long as you know you can stop whenever you want and you don't rely on it to be happy.
What happened to your last job and what sort of job are you looking for currently? I'm not offering anything since I'm your age but from another country so I'm just curious
Since sunday I've gone from smoking pot right away when I wake up to not smoking until a couple hours before I fall asleep. I was feeling wicked dissociated from smoking so much.
I was painting trim and siding for houses in a factory making $16 an hour but they cleaned house for some cheap black workers (that's not a joke). So now I'm just looking for whatever bullshit I can make good money at.
So now that this girl has responded, would you agree I shouldn't cut her off completely. But just drastically reduce how much I talk to her or how hard I go after her? I want some pussy so I'm really hoping I can save this.
You can't save this. This is one of those uncomfortable things that you need to accept. She already know when she is available, she's stringing you along just to get texts from some guy to feel good about herself. That's it. You're nothing to her. You've never had a women really show true passionate interested in you so you're grasping for whatever small amount of attention you can get. I assure you those texts mean less than nothing.
Right her off entirely and find a new bitch. How do I find a new bitch you may ask? The answer to that is reading those links I sent you and right now watching RSDTyler videos from at least one year ago.
I don't know enough about your situation to weigh-in. A girl may let you know her pussy is bleeding as some subtle way of saying 'We can't fuck right now, but I want to in a couple days' or she's so comfortable with you and knows you aren't going anywhere that she can just talk about w/e she wants and be gross since you're content with staying in the friendzone.
Again, fuck this girl. No more questions about this girl in particular. I don't want to receive anymore messages from you until you watch this video.
It really is. They want a guy to take control. It's pretty scary and awkward meeting a guy from an app online. Just play it confident and meet and take that nervousness away from them. If you just talk for ages, it's not going to go anywhere - they've probably got about 30 other dudes doing the same faggot shit. I bet you're only messaging her though.
More likely that she just didn't get it. Maybe she thought he's trying to say he's very curious, or stubbornly un-superstitious. Never underestimate the stupidity of a broad
60 comments
n/a satsamsit 2017-01-11
I anticipate scathing comments in this thread.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
They're pretty good natured
n/a dairyeater 2017-01-11
Watch RSDTyler's older videos and learn some game
n/a fish_flower 2017-01-11
she no want you dick boy
n/a JohnQNo1 2017-01-11
She saw through your sad grab for pity. 1000 years of evolution kicked in and gave her a vision of invertebrate, pathetic offspring with you and saved her.
n/a soc224 2017-01-11
More likely that she just didn't get it. Maybe she thought he's trying to say he's very curious, or stubbornly un-superstitious. Never underestimate the stupidity of a broad
n/a JohnQNo1 2017-01-11
Nah
n/a soc224 2017-01-11
you're right, it was the 1000 years of evolution.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Thanks doc
n/a Lyle_D_Chipperson 2017-01-11
Pahhaps more than dat
n/a Guinness252 2017-01-11
People just type 'k' should be executed
n/a FuchsiaJuicer 2017-01-11
Maybe communicating through suicidal internet memes is a bad idea
n/a throwawaymanthrows 2017-01-11
That's her way of telling you she's not interested in. Girls have no discernible sense of humor. They laugh at a man's jokes if they like him. They don't if they're not.
n/a RacistPigeon 2017-01-11
Who cares what she thinks. If you're in love with her, rape her and move on.
n/a AppleBonfire 2017-01-11
I've fundamentally changed the way I interact with women after my divorce and it's made life a lot easier.
I tell them up front I want to hook up and if they don't, I ask someone else.
You'd be surprised how many times it works. Don't get me wrong, most will say no or act offended but who gives a fuck?
I'm at that perfect age of 29 though where you can still interest young chicks and older women who are in panic mode at finding anyone.
"Hey, I know this is really forward but do you want to hang out and see if anything happens? I'm not interested in pretending to be interested in mundane conversation"
Get over that first hurdle and do it, it's easy. It works better in person at bars though.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
I met her on an app last week and we've been talking since. She lives two hours away so I'm laying mad ground work before we hang out
n/a joeroganpodcastfan 2017-01-11
This picture was a good foundation
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
you got jokes, but how am I supposed to bang this broad if she doesn't know that I contemplate suicide every now and again?
n/a joeroganpodcastfan 2017-01-11
just get her drunk and stick it in her turdcutter
n/a AppleBonfire 2017-01-11
No! That's not good.
No ground work. Do the ground work when you meet. If it's gonna happen it's gonna happen. You're setting yourself up for failure.
Don't go for a meal or a coffee either. Go for drinks. I usually meet them with friends, it's less awkward and they've usually got drunk beforehand. It makes everything a lot easier. Just buy a load of shots. Be fun. Carefree.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Dude Im 23 and shes 18. She doesnt go clubbing or fuck in hotels rooms. I appreciate your advice though.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Let me tell you the situation and you can tailor your advice.
Im 23. shes 18, and a senior in high school. She works in a christian nursing home, shes kind of religious but isnt "sure about it". She usually works after school and says shes working every weekend this month. Her shifts are like 9 hours so I sort of sympathize, but also feel a bit slighted.
We've been talking every day for about a week, she almost always texts or snapchats me first thing in the morning. We've been very teenager flirty, saying each other are cute, kiss emojis, the shit that makes you feel really gay, as a dude. She says stuff like "can I tell you something? I have a crush on youâ¤" we listen to the same kind of music, thats about the only thing we have in common.
So I dont doubt at all that she likes me on some level. But Im definitely worried about playing it too safe and her losing interest.
n/a AppleBonfire 2017-01-11
I have no idea. I wouldn't have gone along that far without seeing her in person.
You've just got to move things in that direction and if she won't, then cut her off.
She's finding comfort in you and I'm cynical so I think she's probably doing it for selfish reasons, instinctively I think she's using you to boost her self esteem to fuck with guys she knows from school or work. I'm not saying it to upset you or be edgy. That's just the vibe I get. I'm not usually wrong.
I don't know if thinking like that is a self fulfilling prophecy but I wish I was more demand and ruthless when I was your age and dating girls and meeting my future ex wife.
I think the right girl will make the effort and compromises to see you and if they won't do that then you shouldn't be with them. We as guys will do really stupid annoying shit to accommodate girls.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
She seems like the kind of girl who doesnt particularly talk to a bunch of guys. She seems sort of introverted, which I am as well. The only picture she has with a guy in it is her brother. Also shes Laosian so she might have some of that Asian conservatism.
n/a AppleBonfire 2017-01-11
Sounds like a lot of hard work for no reason.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Haha I didnt know anyone could be more cynical than I am. Thanks for the tips doe.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Haha I didnt know anyone could be more cynical than I am. Thanks for the tips doe.
n/a frrunkis 2017-01-11
K here we go nigger.
Women are attracted to men that are better than them. They want a guy that's taller, stronger, smarter, funnier, cooler, more successful etc. then they are. They want somebody that will never break down no matter what they throw at them.
Women are like toddlers. Ever heard of the terrible twos? It's when a kid is around two they scream and beg for everything and bitch when they don't get it. But if you give a toddler everything it wants like letting it stay up late, eating w/e and watching television it will be MISERABLE. Even though you gave it everything it said it wanted, it will be miserable and angry constantly and grow up to be a sad little mean shit.
The key to having a happy healthy child is to set clear boundaries and not give in to their cries. Telling a toddler no, making it go to bed at the right time and only feeding it what it should get etc. will lead to a very happy toddler. Even though it will occasionally scream and throw a tantrum, it will overall love you way way more and be very happy.
Well, that's what women are like. They want boundaries. This part is important - They want to know that if they don't act a certain way that you will bounce and get a new girl. That's what women love. Women love feeling and 'acting' feminine when it's for the right guy. They love dressing up and doing all that submissive girly shit to impress a guy, they get off on it. You have to be the type of guy that would make them want to do that.
Women are attracted to men that have other girls in their life. Remember how I said that women are attracted to guys that are better (higher value) than they are? Well what conveys value better than banging multiple girls? It's called 'social proof'. If other women have pre-selected you than that means that you must be a cool, high value guy.
If you're on a date and it's not going anywhere and you check your phone and there's like 13 messages from different girls and your date notices this, she will immediately be 1000% more interested in you. Now she has competition. Now she has a reason to act a certain way. Now you're interesting and mysterious. Now you're this big question mark. Now you've given her a purpose in life.
Only ever use texting for logistics. Would an interesting guy who is banging multiple girls text one girl all the time? No. He wouldn't. He would only use it to try to set up dates or make her come over. You're a busy guy who doesn't have time to deal with her nonsense. Don't text her 'happy new year' or any b/s. That shows her that instead of partying and having fun you're thinking about her. Yuck. Never tell her what you're doing or what you're up to. Let her fill in the blanks. She'll fill them with w/e would make her more attracted to you.
Never take them seriously. Treat them like bratty sisters. Make fun of them. Escalate physically as much as they will let you. Make strong eye contact when you're speaking with her. The only time you break eye contact during conversation is to check her out. Do this openly. Feel free to check out other women as well when you're around her. This will encourage her to work harder for you attention. That's exactly what they want. Never 'overtly' tell her you're seeing other girls, only let her infer this. Don't brag about it, she'll catch on immediately that you're full of shit.
I can keep going if you want. Any questions?
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Whether you're right or not, it's some stuff to keep in mind. No questions, but if you got more to spit off that dome I'll keep reading.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Also, I'm pushing a little harder for a meetup with her, per some advice from the other thread. If nothing else it will get her thinking that I'll "bounce" if she wants to string it along through text for much longer. Which is true, I'm not gaining anything from texting her.
n/a frrunkis 2017-01-11
Part of learning about women is accepting some very uncomfortable truths. Here's one of your first ones. This girl will never fuck you. Ever. You've completely fucked everything.
Women put guys in two different categories.
Lover
Provider
You have been put in the provider category. You provide her validation and meaningless attention when she feels bored. She feels absolutely zero attraction towards you because not once have you shown her that you have balls, let alone a penis.
If you're just meeting or talking to a girl for the first time, never hide your intentions. Women love being 'wanted', but they absolutely despise being needed. Women hate responsibility more than anything in the world. That's why women CEOs and women with stay-at-home husbands are miserable. They hate making decisions, they hate thinking for themselves, they hate being responsible for things. I can't stress this enough. And so if you need a girl to like you, you're giving her responsibility over how you feel. She hates that. That's why women run the other way when you show how invested you are in them. They want you to want them, but never need them. They want to know that you will be 100% a-ok without them. You're choosing to be with them because they're acting right and behaving properly.
You know that stereotype about how women never know where they want to eat and how men wish women would just decide? Well, that exists for a reason. Women just want you to decide where you're going and when. Tell her what to wear. Tell her what to order.
Now back to the lover/provider model. In a women's eyes, you can move from the 'Lover' column to the 'Provider' column very easily by being a pussy, but you can never move back into the 'Lover' column once you're in the 'Provider' column. It's possible, but basically impossible and 100% impossible in your case.
Lovers show intent. They flirt with multiple girls and don't get shy. They don't open up emotionally. They leave the girl asking questions. They fool around with the girl, make fun of her and never take her seriously. They make all the decisions when it comes to dating. They never break down and can handle their own shit easily.
Providers are too afraid to show intent. They do what you do and for 95% of guys do which is they try to friendzone their way into her pants. They text her heaps. They tell her what they've been up to. They open up about how they feel about the girl. They never set clear boundaries. They never make fun of her. They let the girl use them for validation. They struggle to even maintain strong eye contact.
Ditch this girl 100%. Never message her again. You need to build these mental muscles up. You need to be the type of guy that can drop a girl instantly and not care. Move on to the next one. She'll wonder where you went and what you're doing. She'll wonder about you. Never try to hit her up again. Not tomorrow. Not in a week. Not in a month. Not in a year. She doesn't exist anymore. You fucked up, move on. You either win or you learn.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Not trying to be defensive, as I was accused of earlier. But other than being flirty I haven't said anything gay like "I really like you" or "I just wanna hang out with you" or whatever. I'm doing my best to not come off needy in the slightest, which is why I barely initiate conversation with her, yet we still seem to talk at least once a day.
You might be right about the lover/provider thing but I don't know if I could have possibly ruined my chances already because we flirt and talk about normal shit pretty much equal parts. I'm not the first one to say something flirty usually (let me say flirt some more, christ) but when we started talking I suggested meeting up pretty much right away. But I picked a day that she works, so now I feel like a little bitch boy to have another go at setting up plans. Like I'm nagging her to hang out, which I know is a surefire way to get friendzoned, or ignored altogether.
I texted her earlier today asking again about plans. I said "If I drive to you (we're two hours apart), do you still not have any free time this month? That's so long to just talk and not meet up." She'll either read that as "hey i just really like you and wanna be with you" which is obviously a turn off. Or she'll read that as "oh he's not going to just let this be a text thing. I better shit or get off the pot, so to speak."
n/a frrunkis 2017-01-11
In general, you ask a girl out in person. If you can't do that, you do it over the phone. Only pussies with no balls or game (95% of dudes) ask women out over text. If you're too scared to ask them out over the phone or in person, how the fuck could you be worthy to fuck them? A high value guy doesn't have the time or couldn't be fucked texting for ages. Texting is for logistics only remember?
You call them, they most likely won't answer so you leave a voice message. 'Hey it's (whoever you are), I'm going to be at (insert place) on (insert time). Come with me.' then you insert a sexual joke.
They will call you back. Don't answer. They will text you. Immediately call them after they text you. Shows them you were probably busy.
If they really are busy at that time, they will say something like 'I'm so sorry I'm busy, but I'm available ...' and they will tell you when they're available. Let's pretend they said they're available friday lunchtime. You would reply with something like 'Friday at 12:30pm, we're getting coffee and something to eat at (insert place), don't forget to wear those tight jeans' or w/e. It has to be no big deal. It doesn't matter to you. It's never serious, you're just wanting to have fun with some girl. That's all it is. You decide when and where it is though, they don't make any decisions. Don't make them think too much about the logistics, that's entirely your job. Never contact them again until the date.
Now let's say she was busy but she doesn't really give you a time when she's available. Don't than ask her when she is available because it's game over at that point. You're out. She has to show interest in you. She will show interest subtly by saying '..but I'm available on (insert times)' to let you set something else up. If she doesn't do that, you're out. Obviously if you're advanced there would be way more too this with certain subtleties and ways to save it, but for now just keep these simple things in mind.
Read this and then read this. They're very important.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
In response to your first part, do you factor in that this girl is 18? I have no problem talking on the phone but any time she has the option to text or call me, she chooses to text. Could be because she's not that invested (she's likely not) or it could be that talking on the phone doesn't even come to mind unless I call her.
And I definitely understand the part about making all the decisions, no girl wants to be asked where they'd like to eat or what they'd like to do. Which is why I'm in a weird spot after she said she's working the day of this specific thing I invited her to (a concert), so now it feels like I have to let her say "Hey I'm free this day" or I'll just be pestering her.
Now for a very specific question. I texted her this at 3:10 today - "If I drive to you, do you still not have any free time this month? That's so long to just talk and not meet up." She works after school but she definitely had time to text back if she wanted to. It's now 8:00, she got off work at 7:30, and still no response. How bad of a move would it be to call her in like an hour or so and follow up on the text she didn't respond to? I don't know if it would come off super desperate, like "babe, you there? you didn't respond :(". Or if it would come off super casual, more like "soo, whats up? You wanna make plans or not?" I'm obviously shooting for the latter.
n/a frrunkis 2017-01-11
Women pretty much hit their adult mentality at 18. For men it's usually around 28. Read this, it's also incredibly important.
You really need to forget this girl. I get you haven't gotten laid in ages so you're incredibly needy but like I said earlier, you need to practice not giving a fuck about any girl in particular. They're all very similar and not that special.
The first sentence absolutely reeks of desperation. The second one is making her feel bad for not meeting up and is also reeking of desperation. You're showing so much neediness. Gross. It shouldn't even be a thing.
You may as well cut your entire dick and balls off.
Women would crawl through a pile of shit and barbed wire to get to a guy they're attracted to. She is just enjoying the validation you're giving her. But now you're heading towards the creepiness territory and she will drop you immediately and you'll be left wondering 'but she said she liked me and messaged me all the time? how can she suddenly be so cold?' Women can lose attraction in half a second. That's the nature of women.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
At this point, even if you're wrong, I'm so in my head about it that there's no chance I'm going to try to keep it going.
I guess I hope it flips and she starts texting me all the time so I can then not respond. If not, oh well. I already wasn't getting laid anyway.
n/a frrunkis 2017-01-11
Read them all. If she ever texts you again it is purely for some kind of emotional validation or because she's bored. Block her number. Block her on everything. Go to a bar/club and approach women sober.
The most important resource for all this would be to go and watch RSD contect. Specifically RSDTyler. Watch his older videos. It's all on youtube.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Done, thanks man.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Also, not that it really matters at this point but the "if I drive to you" thing is because she went in the ditch two nights ago and her car is fucked. I agree it still sounds desperate, but maybe slightly less. Or not.
n/a frrunkis 2017-01-11
Instead of 'If I drive to you ... ' say 'I'l pick you up after school on friday and we'll go eat at (some place)'. Remember, the logistics are non-issues. They're not questions, and you're not hoping she says yes. Assume she's down and just set it up.
But again, forget this girl forever. Build those not giving a fuck muscles.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
I am a real beta cuck bitch huh
n/a frrunkis 2017-01-11
Yeah but that's to be expected. Men before our time went through rites of passage. A rite of passage is the most important thing for a man to go through. Think about history and all the things young men were expected to do. The struggles they faced. Pain makes you grow. It builds character and will power. It turns you into a man.
Nowadays we don't have any of that, we can just live from craving to craving and spend all day day-dreaming. We never really grew up. So many people in this generation are living this extended adolescence. Why do you think cuckolding fetishes are on the rise? This is a generation of men that jerked off daily to porn where some guy fucks a girl that they want to fuck. That is obviously going to effect there brains in some way. Couple that with being praised for everything growing up and being comfortable all the time and suddenly we have men everywhere that are timid, numb and submissive.
You need to forge your own rite of passage. You're a lot tougher than you think. You've gone without women for a long time, your life hasn't been anywhere near as comfortable as anyone elses in your country. You have to learn from the pain though. Live in it. Embrace it. Let it forge you into a new man. Don't wallow away in it, revel in it. Don't feel sorry for yourself, there's a sick comfort in that that breeds more weakness.
Put yourself into uncomfortable situations. Work out, stretch, go to bed early and wake up early, eat right, don't look at porn, don't jerk off, let go of all the things you have no control over. Kick life in the teeth, you're tougher than you think. You know you are.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
This nigga /u/frrunkis a philosopher
You're right about wallowing in your misery, it absolutely creates comfort. I've been thinking about getting off zoloft for this reason. Once I felt a hint of depression it snowballed because I just felt bad for myself. Fast forward 2 years and I'm a zilch with a very simple life who is "clinically depressed" for no understandable reason.
I understand chemical imbalance in the brain, but I don't think I have that. I think I willed depression and anxiety on myself by just being a self pitying little bitch. And then I was relieved when a psychiatrist agreed that I'm depressed and would try to get me on something because I could finally be the victim I wanted to be and no one could tell me otherwise because a doc said so.
Let's see if I can't change my life for the better after today
n/a frrunkis 2017-01-11
You got this buddy. It will be a hard journey but it will be worth it.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Word. At this point she still hasn't responded, so you're right. I absolutely ended it with that "what if I drive to you?" text. If that killed it, it wasn't going anywhere anyways. At this point I'm glad I barely invested a week in this chick.
n/a frrunkis 2017-01-11
That's a step in the right direction in terms of having the right mentality. It's a game about who cares less. Remember to watch RSDTyler's videos on youtube. Specifically the older ones. Very important.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
I just subscribed to his channel. I'm unemployed at the moment so I have nothing to do but absorb info and workout every day, between job searching.
In response to your "approach women at the bar, sober" comment, I don't drink at all but whats the policy on pot smoking? Probably doesn't do any favors right?
n/a frrunkis 2017-01-11
I'm pretty indifferent to pot smoking. As long as you know you can stop whenever you want and you don't rely on it to be happy.
What happened to your last job and what sort of job are you looking for currently? I'm not offering anything since I'm your age but from another country so I'm just curious
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Since sunday I've gone from smoking pot right away when I wake up to not smoking until a couple hours before I fall asleep. I was feeling wicked dissociated from smoking so much.
I was painting trim and siding for houses in a factory making $16 an hour but they cleaned house for some cheap black workers (that's not a joke). So now I'm just looking for whatever bullshit I can make good money at.
So now that this girl has responded, would you agree I shouldn't cut her off completely. But just drastically reduce how much I talk to her or how hard I go after her? I want some pussy so I'm really hoping I can save this.
n/a frrunkis 2017-01-11
You can't save this. This is one of those uncomfortable things that you need to accept. She already know when she is available, she's stringing you along just to get texts from some guy to feel good about herself. That's it. You're nothing to her. You've never had a women really show true passionate interested in you so you're grasping for whatever small amount of attention you can get. I assure you those texts mean less than nothing.
Right her off entirely and find a new bitch. How do I find a new bitch you may ask? The answer to that is reading those links I sent you and right now watching RSDTyler videos from at least one year ago.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Unfortunately I think you're right. Though she is on her period right now, is that a major factor? lol
n/a frrunkis 2017-01-11
I don't know enough about your situation to weigh-in. A girl may let you know her pussy is bleeding as some subtle way of saying 'We can't fuck right now, but I want to in a couple days' or she's so comfortable with you and knows you aren't going anywhere that she can just talk about w/e she wants and be gross since you're content with staying in the friendzone.
Again, fuck this girl. No more questions about this girl in particular. I don't want to receive anymore messages from you until you watch this video.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
lmao alright buddy. thanks for your time
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
She just now texted me back saying, she has to check when she's free....
n/a frrunkis 2017-01-11
Never send two messages in a row. A good rule of thumb is you give one third, she gives two thirds.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
I have the upper hand on this chink
n/a hahfdjahdfsja 2017-01-11
dumb
n/a AppleBonfire 2017-01-11
It really is. They want a guy to take control. It's pretty scary and awkward meeting a guy from an app online. Just play it confident and meet and take that nervousness away from them. If you just talk for ages, it's not going to go anywhere - they've probably got about 30 other dudes doing the same faggot shit. I bet you're only messaging her though.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Its been a week, man. Its not like its a 2 month text relationship
n/a hahfdjahdfsja 2017-01-11
Too long idiot. You already fucked up. Next time keep it simple and push a meetup.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
You dont need to call me names, friend.
n/a LutheranProfessor 2017-01-11
She probably thought you meant that you were just rebellious or something, that you don't believe urban legends.
n/a DaveNone 2017-01-11
She's a smart girl.
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
fuck off Dave Smith
n/a joeroganpodcastfan 2017-01-11
You should really kill yourself now and leave that screen on near your body, make her feel like shit
n/a soc224 2017-01-11
More likely that she just didn't get it. Maybe she thought he's trying to say he's very curious, or stubbornly un-superstitious. Never underestimate the stupidity of a broad
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
Thanks doc
n/a TheScarletR 2017-01-11
They're pretty good natured
n/a Lyle_D_Chipperson 2017-01-11
Pahhaps more than dat