Girls who wear too much makeup look like actual dogshit. I think wearing all that shit out in public is a form of mental illness. Perfume is fine though.
You sound like a man after my own heart. Here is an excerpt from my old troll dating profile:
A lot of dinner whores on here. They may as well be strippers because they view a man primarily by his income and willingness to spend it on dumb things. The same guys they're enamored of may have a high income, but little or no personal wealth. He spends all of his money wining and dining these insipid women. Here's what's likely to happen: You're in your late 20's... Maybe early to mid-30's...you're out there playing around and seeing how many impractical dinners you can get, how many bleh vacations you can put on Instagram to try to make your friends (other dumb women) envious of. That's what it's really about for most of you, isn't it? Taking a bunch of pictures for social media with your ridiculous duck faces and forced, constipated smiles while wearing your whore paint and your slut regalia to impress the other miserable hoes you consort with. Right? "Look at me! Look at how good I am at using my ass and vagina at conniving intellectually and physically inferior men out of dinners and inconsequential gifts!!" Problem is, you're not 21 or even 25 anymore. You're getting old. Most of you looked far more beat up at 25 than I do at 42, anyway. Imagine how rough you'll look at 40. You'll be slapping on makeup like a drywall patch job in This Old House. A heavily spackled face and an abused body full of cellulite equals a lonely life. Me? I'm still pretty much the same. By then, I'll be in my 50's. I'll probably still be as strong as an ox and have less lines on my face than you did at 25. By then, you'll be begging for a stable, reasonable guy like me, but I'm not going to entertain you. I'm going to leave the old beater (you) on the used lot and get myself a much newer model with less mileage and more bells and whistles.
I prefer an athletic, curvy, or even a slightly overweight woman to a waifish one.
I'm not into women younger than around 28. I think middle-aged men walking around with young girls who aren't family might be latent pedophiles.
I'm primarily attracted to White and Asian/Pacific Islander women..
I'm not really into blondes (most of these so-called blondes are fake blondes, anyway) as I strongly prefer darker hair. Also not into any hair coloring that occurs outside of the natural human hair color spectrum.
Speaking of natural, I'm not crazy about anything fake. Breasts, eyelashes, nails, high-heels, corsets, ass pads, hair extensions--if it's fugazi, you can keep it. I don't feel the need to use anything to deceptively and unnaturally augment my appearance--why should you?
This includes excessive makeup, BTW: A lot of women feel the need to slather on copious amounts of whore paint; detracting from their natural beauty to instead resemble overzealous, transexual prostitutes. That doesn't look attractive. Why all the coverup? Planning on committing a bank robbery? Do you think I want that shyt all over my pillowcases or staining my expensive shirts? Just wash your face regularly and get a little sun, ya goddamned ghouls! LMAO!
Similarly, I'm not into excessive tattoos/piercings. Honestly, I feel if you're over 30 and have piercings, you're most likely either a stripper or a mental defective. Your tats I suppose we could chalk up to youthful indiscretion.
This is going to sound cold, but: I don't want to deal with a woman with kids unless those children are grown. Single mothers sometimes paint guys like me as a villain, but ask yourself: Why should I have boundless enthusiasm for parenting another man's child? I did the stepfather thing with an old GF's child and it's not for me. I might want to have my own kid one day, but I'm leaning a little towards "no" on that, as well.
ALSO: I had this recurring issue on another website where women would revisit my profile 4, 5, 6 times and do NOTHING. These are 30 and 40 year-old women. PULL THE TRIGGER. Send a message. Say something meritorious. A lot of you have an inability to communicate or initiate that would seem to indicate crippling anxiety/autism. Women love to histrionically portray themselves as being under the scrutiny of weirdos/stalkers, but my personal experience shows that the aforementioned creep pendulum swings both ways. I don't want the same gang of goons repeatedly visiting my profile. It's annoying. Find something else to fixate on from afar.
Also, again, just in general: A lot of you look really beat up. Like, even with all of these little visual heists you're trying to pull off, you still look more worn out and haggard by your early-mid 20's than I do at 42. Sure, I have pretty good genes, but it also has to be attributable to something on your end, too.: Are you getting enough sleep? Is your diet poor? Drugs? Too much booze? Think about it. A lot of these women are young enough to be my daughter, yet have more lines on their Longshoreman-like, weathered faces than Clint Eastwood. They try to spackle the cracks and it looks even worse. Also, wearing the highest possible heels with jacked, abused feet to hide the fact that your asses look like an oversized sack filled with hammers, wrenches and oatmeal. I guess these other weakminded guys you hook up with can't tell. Or they're just so desperate to get laid, that they mentally dismiss it all.
Trolling is when you try to piss people off. Everyone who glanced at your post just raised their eyebrows a bit and said "damn what the fuck man" and moved on without reading. I hope you copied and pasted that because literally no one here will ever read it.
There's nothing worse than bringing some young whore home to skin and make into a lampshade, only to find she's covered in shitty tattoos. Really throws off the motif of my mancave/kill room.
The patriarchy and western rape culture have conditioned women to believe that their body is their only asset. #YesAllWomen #ImWithHer #HandsUpDontShoot #BlackLivesMatter
We need to evaluate who has the power in this situation. If a woman gives her consent for your cock to experience said turgidity, then you may proceed within the confines of what she deems appropriate. If not, you're a fucking rapist.
I can't stand perfume. I like fruity or pleasant smelling stuff, but actual perfume 99% of the time smells like old lady and is acrid/offensive. I hate a lot of make up, if a gal is pretty with little to no make up Im a huge fan of that.
I don't understand why makeup and perfume exist. Women either look and smell beautiful naturally, or they don't. Plastering on a bunch of artificial, chemically shit doesn't make you attractive. It just reminds us all of our sad, middle-aged whore mothers.
48 comments
30 CCRed95 2016-12-16
Theres a simple brilliance to that joke that ive always enjoyed. Non-disputable logic right there
23 BlewRaja 2016-12-16
the lady hate is strong...ta-dayyy
4 CringyQuoteKelvin 2016-12-16
Sniff!
19 gcwrestling08 2016-12-16
Girls who wear too much makeup look like actual dogshit. I think wearing all that shit out in public is a form of mental illness. Perfume is fine though.
-11 F_H_Rileys_MaitreD 2016-12-16
You sound like a man after my own heart. Here is an excerpt from my old troll dating profile:
A lot of dinner whores on here. They may as well be strippers because they view a man primarily by his income and willingness to spend it on dumb things. The same guys they're enamored of may have a high income, but little or no personal wealth. He spends all of his money wining and dining these insipid women. Here's what's likely to happen: You're in your late 20's... Maybe early to mid-30's...you're out there playing around and seeing how many impractical dinners you can get, how many bleh vacations you can put on Instagram to try to make your friends (other dumb women) envious of. That's what it's really about for most of you, isn't it? Taking a bunch of pictures for social media with your ridiculous duck faces and forced, constipated smiles while wearing your whore paint and your slut regalia to impress the other miserable hoes you consort with. Right? "Look at me! Look at how good I am at using my ass and vagina at conniving intellectually and physically inferior men out of dinners and inconsequential gifts!!" Problem is, you're not 21 or even 25 anymore. You're getting old. Most of you looked far more beat up at 25 than I do at 42, anyway. Imagine how rough you'll look at 40. You'll be slapping on makeup like a drywall patch job in This Old House. A heavily spackled face and an abused body full of cellulite equals a lonely life. Me? I'm still pretty much the same. By then, I'll be in my 50's. I'll probably still be as strong as an ox and have less lines on my face than you did at 25. By then, you'll be begging for a stable, reasonable guy like me, but I'm not going to entertain you. I'm going to leave the old beater (you) on the used lot and get myself a much newer model with less mileage and more bells and whistles.
I prefer an athletic, curvy, or even a slightly overweight woman to a waifish one.
I'm not into women younger than around 28. I think middle-aged men walking around with young girls who aren't family might be latent pedophiles.
I'm primarily attracted to White and Asian/Pacific Islander women..
I'm not really into blondes (most of these so-called blondes are fake blondes, anyway) as I strongly prefer darker hair. Also not into any hair coloring that occurs outside of the natural human hair color spectrum.
Speaking of natural, I'm not crazy about anything fake. Breasts, eyelashes, nails, high-heels, corsets, ass pads, hair extensions--if it's fugazi, you can keep it. I don't feel the need to use anything to deceptively and unnaturally augment my appearance--why should you?
This includes excessive makeup, BTW: A lot of women feel the need to slather on copious amounts of whore paint; detracting from their natural beauty to instead resemble overzealous, transexual prostitutes. That doesn't look attractive. Why all the coverup? Planning on committing a bank robbery? Do you think I want that shyt all over my pillowcases or staining my expensive shirts? Just wash your face regularly and get a little sun, ya goddamned ghouls! LMAO!
Similarly, I'm not into excessive tattoos/piercings. Honestly, I feel if you're over 30 and have piercings, you're most likely either a stripper or a mental defective. Your tats I suppose we could chalk up to youthful indiscretion.
This is going to sound cold, but: I don't want to deal with a woman with kids unless those children are grown. Single mothers sometimes paint guys like me as a villain, but ask yourself: Why should I have boundless enthusiasm for parenting another man's child? I did the stepfather thing with an old GF's child and it's not for me. I might want to have my own kid one day, but I'm leaning a little towards "no" on that, as well.
ALSO: I had this recurring issue on another website where women would revisit my profile 4, 5, 6 times and do NOTHING. These are 30 and 40 year-old women. PULL THE TRIGGER. Send a message. Say something meritorious. A lot of you have an inability to communicate or initiate that would seem to indicate crippling anxiety/autism. Women love to histrionically portray themselves as being under the scrutiny of weirdos/stalkers, but my personal experience shows that the aforementioned creep pendulum swings both ways. I don't want the same gang of goons repeatedly visiting my profile. It's annoying. Find something else to fixate on from afar.
Also, again, just in general: A lot of you look really beat up. Like, even with all of these little visual heists you're trying to pull off, you still look more worn out and haggard by your early-mid 20's than I do at 42. Sure, I have pretty good genes, but it also has to be attributable to something on your end, too.: Are you getting enough sleep? Is your diet poor? Drugs? Too much booze? Think about it. A lot of these women are young enough to be my daughter, yet have more lines on their Longshoreman-like, weathered faces than Clint Eastwood. They try to spackle the cracks and it looks even worse. Also, wearing the highest possible heels with jacked, abused feet to hide the fact that your asses look like an oversized sack filled with hammers, wrenches and oatmeal. I guess these other weakminded guys you hook up with can't tell. Or they're just so desperate to get laid, that they mentally dismiss it all.
44 titcity 2016-12-16
holy shit, relax man
18 JusJusRagno 2016-12-16
This guy's a riot.
-12 F_H_Rileys_MaitreD 2016-12-16
I am relaxed. I'm trolling.
37 TinKnockinMoroccan 2016-12-16
No. You're working through deep inner turmoil.
-16 F_H_Rileys_MaitreD 2016-12-16
There is no turmoil. LOL. Stop projecting.
28 Funimator 2016-12-16
I SAID THERES NO TURMOIL OK?!?!!!
2 iWhereSchortSchorts 2016-12-16
...okay
16 RSC-Tuff 2016-12-16
Trolling is when you try to piss people off. Everyone who glanced at your post just raised their eyebrows a bit and said "damn what the fuck man" and moved on without reading. I hope you copied and pasted that because literally no one here will ever read it.
-5 F_H_Rileys_MaitreD 2016-12-16
It was a cut/paste from an old trolling profile. In the very first sentence, I make that pretty clear.
12 bambonk 2016-12-16
Shut up already
8 RSC-Tuff 2016-12-16
No one made it that far
6 throwawawyy2 2016-12-16
You can bomb while trolling? Holy shit this was a new level of awful
10 Opprobriousness 2016-12-16
There's nothing worse than bringing some young whore home to skin and make into a lampshade, only to find she's covered in shitty tattoos. Really throws off the motif of my mancave/kill room.
4 CCRed95 2016-12-16
I think you need to take a 5 and regroup, sir
3 russelldalrymple 2016-12-16
How about a "tl;dr" please? There could be brilliance here, but I'll never know. I only read this while I let PornHub buffer.
2 throwawizzlemahnizzl 2016-12-16
Tss ur fukken krayzee
14 bornrevolution 2016-12-16
Good one Craig.
12 RSC-Tuff 2016-12-16
The patriarchy and western rape culture have conditioned women to believe that their body is their only asset. #YesAllWomen #ImWithHer #HandsUpDontShoot #BlackLivesMatter
6 Nulltor 2016-12-16
Yoga pants make my cock turgid. Comment?
9 RSC-Tuff 2016-12-16
We need to evaluate who has the power in this situation. If a woman gives her consent for your cock to experience said turgidity, then you may proceed within the confines of what she deems appropriate. If not, you're a fucking rapist.
6 Nulltor 2016-12-16
I like when I can see panty line. Discuss.
4 Psych555 2016-12-16
It's the synthetic fabric rubbing on your cock. It's natural and should subside once you remove the garment. If it persists, see a doctor.
11 McGowan9 2016-12-16
Ted Bundy's favourite joke.
1 Alkomb 2016-12-16
Ted Bundy's my role-model.
6 [deleted] 2016-12-16
So they can be attractive enough to fuck and when you're done not attractive enough to keep around.
4 postope 2016-12-16
Peckahs
3 AntsCamera 2016-12-16
Because they want to be raped.
3 RacistPigeon 2016-12-16
Want or need?
6 AntsCamera 2016-12-16
They want a knife to thier throat and a black eye.
They need the dick.
3 postope 2016-12-16
Seriously though, this is one of my favorite "Stock" jokes, does anyone have any idea where it actually originated?
3 Doc_McCoy79 2016-12-16
I can't stand perfume. I like fruity or pleasant smelling stuff, but actual perfume 99% of the time smells like old lady and is acrid/offensive. I hate a lot of make up, if a gal is pretty with little to no make up Im a huge fan of that.
3 DNStorage 2016-12-16
There's some kind of joke there, I just can't reach it. Sniff.
2 Patmcpsu 2016-12-16
Like a toilet
2 ballpitpredator 2016-12-16
Craig Tucker - (tells joke)
2 sumant28 2016-12-16
You've been promoted to head moderator on r/MGTOW
2 A_Friendly_Creeper 2016-12-16
cuz their cooters smell
2 JoeCumiaSr 2016-12-16
Your cunt stinks.
2 NumeroOtto 2016-12-16
i will now re-watch all of southpark
2 sanfrancisco69er 2016-12-16
Not all of them :)
1 The-Lunger 2016-12-16
For the same reasons they use toilet paper and bleach their assholes
1 [deleted] 2016-12-16
[deleted]
1 anarchronism 2016-12-16
Classic.
1 shimshammcgraw 2016-12-16
That is a damn fine joke. So simple.
1 [deleted] 2016-12-16
[deleted]
1 all_copacetic 2016-12-16
I don't understand why makeup and perfume exist. Women either look and smell beautiful naturally, or they don't. Plastering on a bunch of artificial, chemically shit doesn't make you attractive. It just reminds us all of our sad, middle-aged whore mothers.