A true journalist would have pointed out that she's increasingly canceled shows over the last year due to poor ticket sales. Some imaginary illness is always cited as the reason. But instead Madonna's publicist sent them a press release that they essentially republished. "Fake news" indeed.

And that she cancelled a show so she could go see Hillary winlose horribly.

She banked her show on Hillary winning so the press could take pictures of her celebrating how brave and strong she is. Fuck Amy Schumer.

TMZ is reporting that she broke her leg and gravy came out

Haaaaaaaaammmmmmmburger

Shucky Ducky Hack Hack

She's in my Fat Five, sucka!

yes?

A guy I work with was drinking a cup of gravy for breakfast the other day. He has been told twice he's a walking time bomb with cholesterol over 700. I asked him about and his response was "nope, that was last year. I'm fine now". He is so hard headed he thinks the doctor lied to him. Some people just can't be Helped.

When you go to his funeral, sneak an English muffin into his coffin.

Baste my knee dude

Got that swine flu

The doctor said to her " turn your head and oink"

how can one person be so ugly on the outside and the inside?

Jerry Seinfeld literally sold out in Australia in about half an hour. It was a fucking nightmare trying to get tickets for him.

Afterwards, I was interested to see how easy it'd be to get tickets for Schumer. There were plenty still available, despite having been available for god knows how long. Pretty odd for the "fourth highest-paid comedian and also the only woman to ever make the list of the world’s top-paid comics."

The fact that she's cancelled due to "illness" confirms that it was really because she didn't sell enough tickets.

Fat piggy. Please make your Barbie movie so I can watch you become a universal joke.

EDIT: The highest rated comment on the facebook announcement is:

Illness? Bollocks, they were trying to flog reduced tickets for her NZ shows last week for under 40 bucks. Sounds like no-one wanted to go.

Fucking lol.

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Man less than that, more like 5-10minutes was spewing couldn't get tix and I imagine Gumtree will be through the roof

I had to keep refreshing until a ticket was available. It was probably less than half an hour -- I only got them because another buyer backed out.

I saw Schumer play last year (I know, I suck)

It was at a casino, and though it was admittedly a huge crowd, I got the impression that 75% of the audience had no idea who she was. I'm guessing that they were simply handing out free tickets to people in the casino due to low sales.

Casinos often get comp tickets to give away

cancels tour due to illness

2017 tour

"Sorry I can't make it next year, I plan on having diarrhea for 2 weeks."

In defense of the sow, it takes the body a greater amount of time to recover from disease when you are a great big fat person. Her immune system had thought it hit bottom when it was fighting off ethnic cabbie cooties from infecting her twat.

Amy Schumer hates her fans, PERIOD. Between calling all the people who supported her before she was big (I mean that in a fame AND weight sense) dumb republicans to cancelling shows or showing up and boring everyone with political drivel, it's just too obvious she hates her fans. Probably hates everyone who's not famous or rich.

I disagree. I see cancelling the shows as an act of compassion.

If she went to Australia, her career would still be going down the toilet, but at least it would spin the opposite direction.

👉🛎️

She's sick of her own shit.

More like no one bought the tickets to see an untalented fat manatee on stage.

The comic played an intimate stand-up gig in Melbourne while promoting her hit movie Trainwreck last year.

In other words, she's performed in a tiny club because she can't sell out larger venues

Fast forward a year and she is the world’s most successful female comedian. Her success earned her $17 million last year, making her the fourth highest-paid comedian and also the only woman to ever make the list of the world’s top-paid comics.

I don't know a single person that likes her. She sure doesn't earn that money from ticket sales. She keeps getting paid because show biz execs think she should be popular so they keep hiring her. Kind of like Lena Dunham. No one that I know can stand that hideous sister molesting monster, but they think if they keep shoving her in our faces, we'll eventually become convinced that she has talent. Fuck both of those repugnant creatures..

It's pretty simple. The only people that like her are fat 30-50yo housewives that think acting like a fucking hooker is funny and brave. The husbands (who actually have to pay) for the tickets are just saying fuck that I'm not payin 150 bucks to be lecture on body shaming and why trump is bad.

You're half right.

It's true that her demographic is liberal feminist women, about 30-50.

But they're not housewives, they're not married at all. I've personally been to two of her shows, and most of the room was SJW women, with a smattering of gay dudes and the occasional couple. I was the fucking weirdo that brought my family. (yes, seriously)

Jews in showbiz, man.

is being a big fat pig considered an illness or a disease?

Sadly it's considered being brave.

They don't allow pork into Australia's borders.

Poor tickets sales but if you fake illness and have bull shit dr evidence then you can claim insurance on any monies lost for that Australian tour.

Good

Every photo of her is a rough photo..

When you consume nothing but ham sandwiches and Nathan's, your body is gonna feel a little icky.

Something tells me if tickets sold out immediately and more shows had to be added to satiate rabid demand, Piggy could've rose to the occasion and powered through her bout of the sniffles.

I loved when they ritually sacrificed her at the end of Apocalypse Now.

I'm not even gonna scroll thru the comments to see how many times "swine flu" was said

Great. She's rolled onto her back and is unable to get back up.

If I recall correctly Australia was the first time she went FULL BIG AMY CUNT. It was on a radio show there but recorded on video. few knew she was a piece of shit before that interview

Chocolate syrup and mayonnaise can be a serious addiction. You guys should have a little respect.

The UN asked her not to go. That much weight down there would throw off the earth's rotation.

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What she got the swine flu or sumptttiinn?

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They can, the Air Force told her how much it would cost to ride in a c-130. That's what did it for her.

Her show only comes on cable, and like England most people don't have it and just watch the networks. So she was expecting to sell out arenas based on a movie from two years ago being semi-popular there.

Hoof & Mouth disease is a sonofabitch...

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So courageous.

i heard she overdosed on buffalo wild wings

Diabettus?

...or is she taking a little time off so she can focus on her musical career with 'Piggy McGee and The Fatbacks'?

Hey hey, I opened for the Shooms down under! Fucked an aboriginal dame without a condom. It was an aboriginal sin!

Bill Burr should helicopter drop Big Amy and Lena Dunam over forrest fires.

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Haaaaaaaaammmmmmmburger

Man less than that, more like 5-10minutes was spewing couldn't get tix and I imagine Gumtree will be through the roof

She's in my Fat Five, sucka!

A guy I work with was drinking a cup of gravy for breakfast the other day. He has been told twice he's a walking time bomb with cholesterol over 700. I asked him about and his response was "nope, that was last year. I'm fine now". He is so hard headed he thinks the doctor lied to him. Some people just can't be Helped.

Baste my knee dude

I saw Schumer play last year (I know, I suck)

It was at a casino, and though it was admittedly a huge crowd, I got the impression that 75% of the audience had no idea who she was. I'm guessing that they were simply handing out free tickets to people in the casino due to low sales.